Epilogue: Wherein your author brings on the CRACK, exorcises the last of her demons and ties up lots of loose ends that you never suspected existed. People DIE; lots of people. I hope I didn't miss anyone…

Charles and Elsie continued to enjoy their time off. They even began to discuss retirement between their long bouts of love making. Their steps were light as they walked back to the main house to resume their duties.

"Best not tell Beryl about Ivy." Elsie suggested.

"Agreed." Charles gave an involuntary shudder at the thought.

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In the next few weeks details about the madness of Mrs. Butte trickled out. Each new rumor was more unbelievable then the next. Almost all of them were true.

Most of the talk in town was about the Crawley Curse. Some people said the family was cursed because the first Earl of Grantham had destroyed an ancient burial mound known as Cattune Howe to level the ground on which Downton Abbey was eventually built. Some people said the current family had brought it upon themselves by being too tolerant with Thomas.

Eventually, talk of the curse died down, but people in the village still could not believe that the Crawleys were retaining the madwoman's daughter as a kitchen maid. Mrs. Patmore had almost come to blows with a woman at the market who had made the unjust comment, "Like mother, like daughter. Like as not, she'll poison them all."

Lady Edith took advantage of the negative climate to publicly acknowledge her daughter. She moved to London with the child. She took Nellie with her as a nursery maid. In Gregson's literary crowd the three of them became minor celebrities for a time until their backstories had been wrung for all they were worth. Eventually, their pasts were forgotten and they settled comfortably into the society that would accept them. Lady Cora, Lady Mary and Lady Rose visited in secret for the first year. Lord Grantham and all of the ladies were able to visit openly in the second year.

Having heard about Lady Edith's disgrace, Patrick Gordon, somewhat healed, but still horribly disfigured, sought out Lady Edith. He had become obsessed with her and had watched the family from afar. He thought she might accept him now that she had fallen into disgrace. He was hit by a car crossing the street to knock on Edith's door.

Michael Gregson, was discovered to be a prisoner of the fledgling Nazi party because he interrupted their singing in the Haufbrau House. He and his fellow captives staged a daring escape which almost succeeded. They were doing very well until their hot air balloon was shot down by the French who thought it was a UFO. The French government never acknowledged their role in the matter.

Tony Gillingham was heartened by the loss of his main competition and intended to propose to Lady Mary for a twentieth time, but he cut himself while shaving and died of blood poisoning.

After Mr. Bryant's death, Ethel Parks was hired as Nanny for little Charlie, but she proved inept and was fired. She joined a traveling circus as a snake charmer. She was bit by a snake and died. Little Charlie grew up to be a successful defense lawyer. He always defended prostitutes for free.

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Mr. Molesley's shoulder healed quickly, though he had experienced a small set back when keeping it immobile on his wedding night had proved impossible. There was no doubt in his mind that the pain and the extra week of healing had been well worth it. His satisfied wife agreed.

Just as Molesley was healing and returning to his duties, Mr. Spratt was caught selling trinkets he had stolen from the Dower House. When confronted, he stabbed himself with a letter opener he had stolen from the Dowager's desk. The Dowager offered Molesley the position as butler and hired Mrs. Molesley as her maid, as her own maids kept mysteriously leaving. Phyllis' calm demeanor was a perfect match for the Dowager's caustic character.

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Almost a year after Lucille's death ended her reign of terror, another Yorkshire scandal displaced the Crawley disgrace just as Lord Grantham had predicted. Lord Merton was caught up in this scandal as it involved his sons.

The eldest son, Timothy, had returned home early from an overseas diplomatic assignment to find his brother Larry in bed with his wife. With this discovery and the further discovery that this had been an ongoing arrangement, the true parentage of Timothy's four children was thrown into question.

Some years before, the promiscuous Mrs. Grey had hired a Welshwoman named West to serve as Nanny to all of her children. Nanny West had misrepresented her credentials to the Mrs. Grey by dropping the name of Crawley despite having no reference from the house.

Larry caught Nanny West treating the children that were most likely his own differently than the children believed to be legitimate. To teach her a lesson, he drugged her tea one day. In her altered state, Nanny West fell out of a fourth floor window to her death. Larry was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and he was sentenced to five years. He was killed by his cellmate his third night in jail.

-00-

Charles and Elsie retired to a small cottage on the estate. Their guidance and expertise were often sought, but there time was their own. They spent their first anniversary and every anniversary ever after at Brighton playing in the waves and basking in the sunshine.

It so happens that neither of them EVER died. On their trip to Brighton in 1927, a meteor fell to earth and caused a tidal wave and a time bubble. They were caught in the bubble where they never age and they were never put through the ordeal of yet another war. They are perpetually wading into the water together. Or maybe they did die and they went to Heaven. Either way they are blissfully happy and together to this very day.

THE BLOODY END

AN/ To the few, the proud, the odd and the possibly twisted who followed me into the breach, I thank you.

This is your LAST CHANCE to leave me a review. If you are too shy to post for the public to see who you are, feel free to PM me or post as a guest. Speaking of PM, I'll be launching Perpetual Motion in the next few hours too...I hope you'll follow me into calmer Chelsie waters, though it won't all be sunshine.

Also, if ANYONE from the show EVER happens by here... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, let Imelda Staunton have a role on Downton! She doesn't have to kill everyone, she just has to cause a bit of a stir.