Caged

Chapter 13.

Destiny was a bitch, Ginny thought to herself as she scrutinized her reflection in the mirror before her. She had taken great pains to carefully craft the image of a happy, confident girl with big dreams and without a single memory from the dark weekend she left behind.

This was meant to be a new beginning not an easy one, she reminded herself as she brushed her silky tresses. She had to thank Parvati some time for leaving copies of Witch Weekly around the Common Room. A few practiced Glamour charms from said magazine, a stolen bottle of Sleakeazy's Hair Potion, muggle concealer and Ginny was good as new.

Too bad such things did not work in the matter of the heart. All she was left with were the pieces of her failed relationship, feelings of emptiness, misery and desperation. Physically, she was back to being 'Potter's Perfect Girl' as the media dubbed her however internally, she was a mere fragment of the girl who went all the way just to be his. Rumors started around the school that there was trouble in said paradise. It was up to her to put those rumors to rest before some idiot decided to contact the Daily Prophet for 10 Galleons.

Another day another time she thought to herself as she glanced for the final time in the mirror. She could not quell the feelings of déjà vu as she remembered the last time she'd quite literally put herself together piece by piece, showing up at places she hardly wanted to be at in dresses she did not want to wear. It was all for him…

Her thoughts zoomed towards dangerous territory faster than a Firebolt. She shuddered as she inhaled, willing herself to calm down. Perhaps she should start carrying Calming Draughts in a flask or Firewhiskey. At this rate, she might never leave her room. Not that it was entirely a bad thing, she thought wryly. Half of breakfast was nearly over, it was now or never. Her legs seem to grow a lot heavier as she trudged down the stairs feeling defeated. Her heart was racing and her palms sweating a river. She could feel her nausea rising, waiting to erupt like a volcano. Clenching her fists hard, she took a deep breath.

"Showtime-"She mumbled to herself briefly wondering if she'd manage to retain her sanity at the end of the school year.

It felt as though everyone present had their eyes on her as she walked into the Great Hall. It probably was her anxiety but she brought back into the past post the Chamber of Secrets incident. Although Dumbledore swore that no one would know of her involvement, her weak mind had not been able to shake off the feeling of paranoia.

It was then when she spotted his jet black hair at his usual spot at the Gryffindor table when it hit her all over again. He was not facing her but her heart sank as she mustered the courage to walk up to him. She blinked hard to prevent her eyes from welling up. He…well, he certainly looked better than she felt. He looked tired as though he had not slept well. He was suffering from night terrors, she noted. They all were.

His emerald eyes sparkled as he smiled amused by what Luna had to say. In that moment, Ginny never envied anyone at the table more. They all had a piece of his heart except her. All of a sudden, Ginny felt like an outsider. This was her House too. They were her friends too except they'd been his friends first. Hermione, Neville, Luna….

Hermione noticed her first-"Ginny! Where have you been all weekend?" She demanded while appraising the younger girl's appearance like a hawk. The last time they'd spoken, things had not been well between Harry and her. She had no inkling of what Harry told her. Ginny's appearance was glowing, she looked sexy and rejuvenated, Hermione noted positively.

"I was um… well….um…" Ginny wrecked her brains as she tried to think of an excuse that the Brightest Witch of the Age and her best friend would buy. Before she could respond however, a warm and familiar hand snaked its way around her waist.

"She was with me, Mione-"Harry smiled at his best friend before pecking Ginny on her cheeks. –"Good morning-"He greeted her, his green eyes assuring her tensed brown ones. His smile was warm, encouraging like a ray of sunshine in the darkness. That was the smile she loved, the smile that made her love him even more if it was possible. He smiled at her first when he challenged her to a game of Exploding Snap many years ago.

She nodded her head weakly internally filled with self-loathing for having to lie to her best friend. Hermione smiled at her widely, she'd bought it, Ginny realized. She had taken Ginny's attempt to look more polished as her way of being happy after some much needed quality time with her boyfriend. She probably also thought that they resolved things and that their relationship was taking a turn for the better... If only she knew, Ginny thought wistfully. She never felt so alone.

"Ginny…" The dream-like quality of Luna's voice startled her out of her reverie –"You did not sleep in your bed on Saturday night." She observed astutely. Ginny looked up, a panicked expression on her face while Luna looked expectant.

"Thank Merlin that Ron had to go to the Owlery."Hermione interrupted scolding Luna before Ginny could respond –"Honestly Luna, where else could she have been? Why with Harry of course!" Hermione shook her head. Meanwhile, Ginny wished for the ground to open up and swallow her whole. She did not dare glance at Harry knowing that he'd feel just as embarrassed as she did. She had to change the topic.

Choosing to ignore the insinuations about their sex life, Ginny picked a topic she was certain would bore all of them –"I stole your potion, Mione. I'm sorry but this is nothing short of miraculous! I think I've finally found something that suits my hair texture. You have got to use Sleakeazy's more often!" She said while flipping her hair as though to show off the potion's effect.

Hermione merely sighed in response but to Ginny's surprise, she began discussing the merits of Sleakeazy's with her and Luna. This was Harry's cue to back off and true enough like any wise male, he did.

-"I'm going to find Ron at the Owlery. I'll see you at lunch?" He hugged Ginny briefly before giving her the softest of kisses on her forehead. His eyes conveyed the actual message – his gratefulness. They'd gotten through this.

-"I'm so glad things worked out between you two-" Hermione squeezed Ginny after Harry left –"I was really worried about the two of you. Harry needs you, he does."

Ginny smiled at her best friend warmly knowing seeing that she was genuinely happy for them –"We're fine, Mione."

The rest of the week went about in the same manner. Without fail each morning, Ginny appeared at breakfast looking pristine. Not that she had not been devoted to her image before but her sudden dedication to Sleakeazy's and muggle concealer led to scandalous rumors around much to her dismay. Ron too went just about ballistic when he overheard some of the rumors. Their strained ties led to Ginny wondering if she even wanted to spend Christmas at home this year.

They were on a walk this afternoon at Ron's insistence. He was so stuffed that he insisted that they take a walk by the Great Lake. Ever since this charade started, Ginny had taken to hiding out in the library during lunch. It was only a matter of time before she was discovered by the bookworm herself. She could not escape this. Hermione had all but dragged her to the Great Hall. It had been painfully awkward to see Harry mask the smile that vanished from his face upon her arrival.

She knew him better to know that he had not meant it in a cruel way. He simply just was not much of an actor. It still stung nevertheless to know that she was in a place where she was not wanted or needed. They did not have to converse then thankfully as Ron was in one of his tirades about the Chudley Canons tactics. To his credit, Harry helpfully took a plate from beside Hermione and filled it with Shepherd's Pie, Ginny's definition of comfort food.

She eyed the plate, horrified at the thought of having to eat. Her appetite was non-existent these days and the pie looked mountainous. She sliced the pie dumping the bigger slice onto Ron's plate. This was when Ron was at his most useful.

Unfortunately her actions did not go amiss by Hermione –"Why have you been studying at the library during lunch, Gin?" The older girl asked, concerned. A strand of her brunette curl had come out of place from her ponytail. Ron brushed it away gently briefly pausing his tirade to give his girlfriend a quick smile. Ginny felt a pang in her heart as she recalled a time when Harry was like that.

Before she could respond to Hermione's question, the older girl continued –"Do you miss him?" She asked somberly. Ginny could only gape at her, horrified. She knew! But….but… how? Her eyes stung as tears of humiliation and shame welled up. She looked down at her plate biting her lip as she willed herself not to break down.

"Oh Ginny!" Hermione pulled her into a hug grabbing the attention of the boys. –"I knew it! I kept telling Harry that you missed Colin and he did not believe me." She exclaimed triumphantly in a way that only Hermione could. –"Sometimes I feel like I am friends with idiots." She said as she pulled away from the hug before smacking Harry on the shoulder.

She thinks that I miss Colin? Ginny thought to herself incredulously. Colin Creevey and not Harry Potter, she smiled sadly at her thoughts. Oh Colin, I wish you were here, she thought missing her late best friend. Without him, there was essentially no one that she was close friends with in her year. There was no one she could pass notes with, play pranks on or reduce her guilt by splitting pudding. She missed him, yes but he was not the reason why she was seeking sanctuary in the library.

"Don't worry Hermione, if nothing else, I really do need to study. I barely get enough time to do so between assignments." Ginny explained knowing that she of all people would understand.

The funny thing was that Ginny was not lying when she said that earlier. Studying kept her sane. It was her dedication to her books that kept her from showing up in the Great Hall looking like a wreck. Besides, if nothing else, it certainly was the perfect excuse to stay away from him and she'd be damned if anyone caught whiff of her heartbreak through her bad grades.

Ginny stared at out the distance ahead as she walked along with the Golden Trio only vaguely paying attention to their conversation. It was a dim and chilly Friday afternoon. The sun was hidden among grey clouds and the grounds were damp from the mist.

Harry and Ron were discussing Quidditch again and practice. That was a sore subject with her. She missed flying terribly. Speeding with the wind against her hair at a great height somehow seemed to rationalize her thoughts.

-"Oh don't worry, Harry, Ginny can show Thompson a Reverse Pass tomorrow at practice." Ginny looked up, startled at the mention of her name.

"A Reverse Pass?-" Ginny questioned –"Dean knows how to do that too. I taught him, he can show Thompson. You don't need me there at practice." She shook her head.

-"Are you joking, Gin? You have to be at practice!" Ron interrupted staring at her as though she had more than one head.

-"That's where you're mistaken, Ron. I'm a Reserved Chaser not a Coach. I will only be there if you need me there." Ginny responded coolly her eyes glaring at him as if daring him to respond.

Ron merely shrugged –"That's between you and Harry then."

"Harry doesn't mind." Ginny's answer was immediate. –"He knows that I have other priorities."

Both Harry and Hermione had been quiet through all of this. Sensing tension brewing between the Weasley siblings, Hermione chose to intervene dragging Ron towards the Greenhouse leaving Harry and Ginny behind.

There was no point of her staying with Harry now, Ginny realized as she watched Ron and Hermione walk away. He did not want her there. Previously, this would have been the perfect time for them to sneak kisses or for him to warm her up by wrapping his arms around her as she inhaled his heavenly scent.

She had no purpose being here. Her heart ached as she glanced at the trees by the lake. Harry had chased her around once, not too long ago. She could practically see herself shrieking with laughter as Harry followed her not too far behind. She could see herself leaning back on a tree with him lying comfortably on her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair.

They had memories that haunted her at every turn. She chose to leave only stopping when she realized that Harry still had her hand in his. They'd made a show of holding hands earlier. Or well, Harry made a show. For Ginny, it was plain habit.

"What is this?" She questioned him speaking directly to him for the first time since their break up. He looked at their entwined hands in question with a surprised expression.

"Habit." He replied as a form of apology.

She pulled her hand out of his gentle grip slightly conscious of her surroundings. It'd been a habit for him too. As her eyes met his, she said wistfully –"Not all habits are good though, are they, Harry?"

She'd been a habit too.

Wow 3 months-ish since the last update? Sorry this took forever guys. I've been really busy with work (mostly). No Draco in this update but we are definitely going to see him more soon, I just wanted to establish Harry and Ginny's "relationship" before we moved on. I definitely missed writing about our favourite Slytherin bad boy but I also enjoyed writing about Harry or well, Ginny's version of Harry. Hmmm…

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SugarQuills10