Phil's POV

"Urggh, why, why, what is it with these constant Phan gifs. You can't escape them. People are allowed to imagine and dream but do they have to shove 'proof' in my face it's so annoying." I'm just sat in the lounge listening to Dan complain about the people who got us to where we are right now and to be honest he's annoying me. I've never said it and I don't want too now but... I'd be lying if i said that i didn't have a 'little' crush on Dan. He's just so incredible, even with his dark skin, clothes, hair and everything else he is always such a colorful person. He's so cool with his constant swearing, sense of humor plus he likes all the things i do. We have so much in common it's unreal. He always acts so sad with his social awkwardness and his existential crisis'. I've never gotten a girlfriend since we've lived together because i like to imagine that maybe, just maybe, if we're both single there is a chance that phan would become real. I could be the person to cheer him up and put a smile on his face and I always can whenever we talk. It's not always like that though.

I get worried about Dan when he's alone. He becomes silent with no smile on his face, he has a look of regret almost. Even when we watch a movie or a TV show or he watches a YouTube video he never smiles for long. I would never go as far to say that he were depressed. Dan has never self-harmed before and he hasn't at all since I've known him. Drama like that doesn't exist that often in real life.

"Phil!" Dan shoves me on the shoulder out of my day dreaming.
"Wha-what was that, sorry?" I reply quickly.
"Were you even listening to me." He asked me with a look on his face as if i had insulted him.
"Dan, to be honest with you, you spend most of your life complaining. If you are speaking with a tone that sounds like a teenager finding out they've been cheated on, then I just stop listening." then his jaw dropped open in a way of sarcasm acting like he already knew i wasn't listening.

"Reeeaaaly"He said in a sarcastic tone, dragging the word out. "Well I would never have guessed" He continued before he made himself look more serious. "I was saying that no matter how many times people say we would be a cute couple, do you know who i'd much rather go out with if i were to date a guy?" I was amazed at how serious he looked while saying that. While thinking of possible suitors i realized how we were acting like teenage girls at a sleep over gossiping about boys.
"I would guess Chris Kendall because you both have the same sick and dirty minds and you would be happy with someone who would know whenever an innuendo came up. You would both laugh hysterically together with grins on your faces." I smiled, quite proud of my deduction while Dan face-palmed and started to giggle. He looked up out of his hands with a flash of evil in his eyes as if I was blissfully unaware of something.

"No you silly goose." He was laughing so hard now. "Y-You aren't even ready for my swaggy answer." I would be lying if i said i wasn't slightly scared of the answer. After all whenever we talk online he would just troll me and I was honestly scared that a fat naked 50 year-old man would appear or Rick Astley would walk out of the corner singing. (Yes, it's 2014 and Dan is still able to rick-roll me. I always press the link though because what if one day genetic mutation has really turned a horse into a unicorn and i will be the last one to know because i didn't look at the link.)

"Dan, this had better be a genuine answer because if we are going to sit here and talk about what boys we would be with I want srss bsnss happening O.K. so what guy would you be with." You could clearly see the slightly excited and interested look on my eye. I wasn't going to get my hopes up though because even if he didn't joke i knew he wouldn't say my name.
"The guy that I would be with is..." He put his laptop down to one side and covered his hands across his face as if i were about to hit him. "YOUR MUM!... ZING, do you want some water for that burn!"
"Oh my god, seriously, I, Urggh, I will fill your bed with tarantulas that can use cannons to fire bees at you." He was laughing so much he went bright red and I just punched his shoulder repeatedly until he was begging for me to stop.

A couple of minutes later, I was getting some ice out of the freezer to put on Dan because he had a massive bruise on his shoulder now... oops.
"Phil you're so useless. If you are going to leave a mark on my body can you please make it into the shape of a famous person so that i can sell pictures of it to magazines or sleep with some sort of pop star." I giggled as i pushed the ice on his shoulder and he winced.

"I did make it look like someone, that is clearly Darth Mauld from star wars. Look he has a double light saber and he's doing a high kick."
"Well if you say so but from here all I can see is something that looks like it was on 'don't hug me i'm scared'." We laughed, then we stood in silence for a bit.
"So Phil, if you were to go out with a guy, who would you go out with? You can't name any relatives of mine because that's just stealing my idea about your dads."
"Dads?" I have no idea what he's talking about but with any luck he'll forget about the question. I don't like lying to Dan but I can't say him. Or could i?
"Well i guess it's dads isn't it considering your mum is a guy." Oh, great reference to the previous joke Dan. I silent clapped in my head at his dumb comments but i shrugged it off.

"Sooo..." Dan started.
"Sooo... what?" I asked hoping he wasn't talking about his question.
"What guy would you date Phil?" 'DAMN IT'

"I haven't thought about it. Besides you didn't give an honest answer because my mum is a girl and she already has someone and you have to choose a guy whose single. I'm not answering if you don't answer properly." He had an annoyed look on his face before he reluctantly replied.
"Fine... If i were to go out with a guy, then it would be Peej." PEEJ! our friend PJ Liguori, I can't believe it, that's an actual answer. No pun intended. He would choose 21 year-old, imaginative, green eyed, curly haired PJ. I can't compete with that. PJ is so much younger and... i should have known. This entire question has just reminded me that even if Dan wanted to end up with a guy, it wouldn't be me.

"Phil, i'm not whining this time i'm asking you which guy would you date?" I was day dreaming again, i need to stop doing that. I need a reply. Replying with his name would be the closest i could get to asking him out. It would be too awkward though, who else could I say though? I can't think of anyone who's around my age.
"Dan, if i were to date a guy. I would date you. I'm no PJ but this isn't your decision it's mine." He stood there looking quite stunned but slightly smug.

"Aww Phil, I'm so flattered. You're great." He smiled at me and he didn't get annoyed or anything. Oh my Gosh that didn't just happen, he's okay with that. He's the most amazing person in my life. He isn't weird-ed out or anything, i'm so happy right now. I can feel that i'm blushing, that's OK. I'm still jealous of PJ I have to admit but it's not like PJ is living with Dan Howell, I am. I had the advantage there. I know one day Dan will move out and start living with some girl but for now he's with me. I'm so happy about that. I want moments like these to last forever but they never do.