The Maid of Honor

"The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it." - Lois Lowry, The Giver

It's like a nightmare she constantly wakes up from. But instead of jolting her from her sleep every night, it happens every time she turns 5 years old.

Instead of a nightmare making her scream awake, it's her past life on another planet that terrorizes her back to reality. The blurry, muffled dreams become her memories in 1080HD and surround sound. And the full, IMAX-quality brunt of her legacy, her sisters, and her greatest failure destroy her old, tattered soul like a bomb exploding from inside her head.

Like in all her previous incarnations, Venus finds her way to her charge, and she hopes and prays that this time (this life) will be different. And it is…in a sense.

This time, their names are Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet instead of Endymion and Serenity. This time, it's a city called Padua instead of the Moon Kingdom. This time, they're mortals without a shred of power instead of the royal heirs of their respective worlds.

They marry in a tiny chapel under cover of night. Venus is one of the witnesses to the marriage and the other is the priest, a young man with short-cropped silver hair whom Romeo trusts with his life.

(Her heart actually stops when she escorts Juliet to the ceremony because Venus can't see the holy man at the altar, only Kunzite, Kunzite, her Kunzite. He, however, only sees Juliet's Nurse. Her beloved can't recognize her and it crushes her already-tattered soul...but it doesn't stop him from furtively glancing at her during the ceremony like he's trying to place her in a memory/dream he's had but lost.)

When Romeo and Juliet exchange their rings, the Father nudges her with a wry, sinful smile that does not belong on any man of the cloth (but is very reminiscent of a teasing general she still dreams of).

"Breathe," He whispers to her and she flushed, letting out the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

As the star-crossed couple shares their first married kiss (of this life), Venus allows herself to think,

'Maybe. Maybe it will be different this time.'

But she should've known better because, no matter how much has changed, some things remain the same:

They still stand on opposite sides of a conflict they want no part of. They still fall quickly, madly, rather stupidly in love with each other. And that same endless, horrible love still leads to bloodshed and death.

Their families blame it on old grudges and new mutiny, but they can't see what Venus sees; the dark energy swirling everywhere in the city, almost suffocating her every time she breathes. Metallia doesn't show herself, probably still too weak to take action, but her presence continues to follow their reincarnations like the demonic parasite she is. The Silver Crystal will not be summoned, Venus' powers refuse to awaken, and her own sisters don't recognize her when all she wants to do is cry on their shoulders like before.

It takes Venus a few more lifetimes to grasp that this is all because Fate has yet to set the stage for their final battle. It's a painful, jarring realization: that this lifetime may be different than the last, but it is not the last lifetime they must endure.

And so, as in her nightmares and past, Venus stands at the side and watches helplessly as Serenity/Juliet/her sister/her friend/her princess stabs herself over her lover's lifeless body. This has happened before, but Venus still screams and cries because it will happen again and again and she is terrified that she will still not be able to do anything to stop it from happening when the cycle repeats itself…

Chiba Mamoru marries Tsukino Usagi on a fine, spring day while Aino Minako holds the bride's bouquet of red roses.

This time, they are in Toyko, Japan. This time, they (mercifully) don't fall in love at first sight. This time, their families aren't royalty, nor do they want to kill each other (thank goodness!). This time Beryl is dead (really dead), Metallia is gone (sooo super-duper gone), and her sisters stand beside her at the altar, memories and powers intact. Venus' loved ones are alive and well and it's all she's asked (begged) for in a hundred lifetimes.

When Mamoru slides the gold band over Usagi's finger, Minako catches Kunzite's eye, standing beside his liege as always. He subtly gestured at her with one hand moving towards himself, his chest expanding, silently urging her,

Breathe.

She blushes, caught, and the breath she had been holding (for centuries) is let out in an embarrassed chuckle. He smiles at her crookedly (sinfully) and she blames the quickening of her heartbeat on the loud, abrupt cheers of the congregation when the groom (finally!) kisses his bride.

(And again, she is reminded that no matter how much has changed, some things will always remain the same.)

chickay: First off, apologies for the structure. When SMCrystal revealed that Minako had retained her memories of the Silver Millennium, I wondered if this current-day reincarnation wasn't the first one everyone had been through. My wondering then barfed this up. Enjoy.