Hello, so sorry for the ridiculously long wait. I don't even have an excuse for you other than life gets in the way. If you are still there, you've probably forgot the story, I know I had to go back and read the last few chapters. I originally had the last chapter I posted as the final one But I think I owe you one last one, it's a bit lovey dovey and undramatic but I have to end this story for everyone I can't just leave it. So here it is, the end of my story, my clarity. Thank you for sticking with me and my shitty updating.

I smiled as I looked out over the rough sea, my hair whipped around my face as the wind lashed at the shore.

"Why are you so smiley today?" Emily asked as she came and stood next to me, she was wrapped in a thick coat, her skin slightly paler than usual. She looked a little unwell but she smiled as I spat the hair from my mouth.

"I'm just" I paused, what was I?

"Just" She repeated and nodded as if she understood me. "It's a good feeling isn't it? Just" She smiled and shivered into her coat. It was, I didn't know what it was but it was good. It had been a month since I ran out into the night to find Paul. It had been 29 days since our 'dinner', 28 days since 'lunch', 27 days since we went to a movie, 26 days since he showed me the clifftops during daylight. The light went on, I had seen him every day since that night, every day he looked healthier, his hair began to shine again, his eyes were oceans again, his skin beautifully tanned. We weren't a mess, we were just, just. I didn't know what we were, but we were ok. He hadn't kissed me, he had held my hand, he had smoothed the curve of my jaw with his thumb, but he hadn't kissed me. And that was ok, I think.

"I was going to ask you a favour" Emily turned to me again and I huddled a bit closer to her for shelter from the wind. "I um, I have something special for Sam, for christmas, but I need to be alone with him" She was stumbling over herself and I could sense something about her that was a bit off.

"Is everything ok?"

She glanced down and nibbled her lip before nodding. "Just, I think we need some couple time"

My stomach twisted, I had interrupted their wedded bliss, they were supposed be enjoying being a family and I had burst back in.

"Oh, no that sounded awful" She quickly reached out for me. "I don't mean from you, I just, I" She looked up toward the area Kim and Sue were setting up for our Christmas Eve bonfire. "Savannah, I'm pregnant" She whispered and looked up at me. She started nibbling her lip again whilst my body swayed slightly. They had a baby, a tiny baby, that wasn't even six months old.

"How?" I asked and she frowned at me.

"Has nobody taught you this?"

"No, I mean, Jesus I know how it happened but you just had a baby" I gasped and she nodded and shuffled from foot to foot.

"I know, which is why I need to be alone with Sam. He's had so much to deal with, the baby, the wedding, you and Paul and now I'm pregnant again and business isn't great, he's worried about all this stuff and I don't want him to be upset or stressed"

"How?" I asked again, they just had a baby.

"You're brother has super sperm I don't know" She groaned and I finally came out of my trance. They were having another baby. Shit.

"Are you happy? Are you ok?" I suddenly noticed how pale and sad she looked.

"Yes, I think, I mean I love being a mom I just, I'm feeling so rough and I just need to let Sam know but it's so early, I am only a couple weeks gone. I just, please don't say anything"

"Of course not, but Emily, this is" I paused, what was it? She was a great mother, Sam was a great dad. "This is amazing. Congratulations, Sam will be thrilled" I said and I felt sure he would be, he was his happiest around that baby and Emily. "I'll get a job, I'll help more" I promised and she shook her head at me.

"Just, just stay this time ok" She laughed and I nodded. I wasn't leaving this time. "Hey the guys are here, remember, not one word" She pushed me and we walked up to the fire that Seth was starting. Sam was walking down the wet sand, next to him was Paul. He hadn't looked at me yet, they were in conversation, and both looked serious. They hadn't talked much since the wedding, it was still a bit touchy with them but at least Sam hadn't threatened to kill him since finding out about me running after him, or him kissing me. He had actually let me out past 9pm for dates. I think he was getting used to it. Emily glanced at me one last time before picking the baby up and walking to Sam, he smiled as he saw her and I watched them embrace each other. Paul finally looked over at me, his frown lightened and he offered me a smile.

"Hey, you look froze how long have you been here?" He asked taking his jacket off and offering it to me without a second thought. My cheeks were freezing, I was sure I looked like Rudolph.

"Most of the day, I wanted some quiet time" I smiled as I slipped his jacket over my shoulders, the scent of him met my nose and instantly my body stopped shivering and I relaxed.

"You ok?"

Paul was watching me, concerned. I never ventured to the beach alone, especially not on cold days but today was special. I had found a photo of my mom amongst my stuff, and I smiled. I didn't cry, I didn't hate myself, I didn't have a meltdown. I smiled, I missed her, I wished she was here but I was happy, and I just felt like coming here was what I needed. I had brought her picture with me, I felt closer to her, which was crazy because she had never been here but I knew she would have liked it.

"Yeah" I offered a one word answer and Paul continued looking at me like he was worried I was about to have a breakdown. "Are you ok?" It was his first Christmas with no family, not even his dad.

He looked over my head and shoved his hands in his pocket. "Yep, I um, I rang my sister today" He swallowed hard and I moved a bit closer to him.

"I thought you didn't know where she was?"

He looked at me and shrugged. "I didn't, I did, I um" He paused and looked away. "She's friends with Rachel, so I mean, I asked Rachel if she knew anything. She gave me her number" He paused and watched me, some part of me heated, jealousy. But I swallowed it back down, Rachel wasn't a threat. She just cared for him. I nodded trying to make him know I was fine, I wasn't about to scream about Rachel. "She's in New York Sav" He breathed. "All these girls running away from me go to New York" He let out a breathy laugh and I bit down on my lip. "Sorry" He hushed quickly and I smirked. I guess it was a little funny.

"How did she sound?"

"Ok, I mean, once she stopped bitching me out"

"Did you tell her?" I asked and he nodded.

"She bitched me out more for taking so long to tell her, she screamed, she cried, she called me a variety of names, most of them you've already called me so" He paused and swallowed. "She said she isn't ready to come home and hung up. She has this whole life that I know nothing about" He stopped and shook his head. "But then so do I, I guess"

"Paul" I started and he smiled a little. "We can go see her" He shook his head as he spoke.

"She didn't say anything but New York, she doesn't want to see me. She hates me even more now. I just, I want to know she ok, I want to know she isn't in trouble. That she hasn't lost the person she was, she was always caring, she would help anyone who needed it, I don't want to be responsible for ruining that. I just, I need her to be ok"

"I'm sorry" I said and slipped my hand into his. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know if she was ok. I couldn't promise him she was, but I wished I could.

"Foods up" Emily shouted from behind us. The evening had become dark and Paul kept hold of my hand as we walked to the blankets of food surrounding the roaring fire. Embry winked at me while Quil made kissy faces at us. I ignored them, and I ignored Sam as he stared at Paul and my hands. He was just being a brother.

The guys devoured the food, Billy told tales, the guys each told their favourite tales of pack fights including the Volturi fight. Claire fell asleep, as did Kim. Paul and Sam had begun talking again and moved themselves away.

"Hey, you two" Emily spoke as she sat down beside me. "Are going to be just fine" She breathed and passed the baby to me.

"So are you two" I added in quietly and she smiled nodding.

"So I got you a job" Emily grinned at me.

"What?"

"Yeah, turns out someone I went to school with works at the dance school in Forks, they said they are looking for someone to help with the kids classes on weekends and I showed them your videos, she just texted me and said she would love for you to go take a look and help out. It works with Pauls weekend patrols, Sam can take you until you learn to drive"

I stared at her, she got me a job teaching dance. "I'm glad I can call you my older sister, you are amazing Emily" I smiled now, it sounded emotional but I was. I was happy now, or at least, I was getting there.

"Less of the old please" Emily mumbled and I laughed, she was touchy about her age.

People around us began leaving, it was just Embry, Seth and Leah left and Sam and Paul who were still talking. I watched as the tense expressions they both wore turned into smiles and they embraced each other in a friendly hug before turning to look at us. Paul looked down at me as I kissed the babies head and he froze mid step.

"What?" I asked him and he shook himself off.

"Nothing, nothing" He brushed it off and I handed the baby back to Emily. I stood up brushing sand from my jeans. Paul and I began walking up toward the parking lot, the silence between us was natural, peaceful. His hand found mine again and he pulled me closer, the heat from his body blanketing my cold one.

"Can I drive you home?" He asked and I turned to look back to where the others were packing up. I noticed now that Sam and Emily had slipped away. There house was a short walk from here through the trees. They were gone. I couldn't go home, not tonight, it was there night together.

"I umm, I'm not staying there tonight"

"Where are you staying?" Paul sounded confused and I looked back at him not entirely sure what I should say.

"Leahs house" I said quickly and Paul looked at me with a frown.

"She's just started patrol"

"I umm" I looked behind me, it was just Embry and Seth left. "Emily wanted a night with Sam, they have some things to talk about and she wanted the house empty" I explained and Paul nodded and leant against the door of his truck.

"So where are you staying?"

"I guess maybe Embry will let me kip at his, his mom is on the Makah res"

"Not Embry's" Paul interrupted and I noticed how rigid his body had gone. His jaw was twitching.

"Well I don't really have anywhere else so"

"Mine" Paul breathed out without even thinking about it, I looked at him like he was crazy. I couldn't stay at his, I mean I could but I couldn't, I mean I had before but that was different. "I mean in my sisters room, you don't have too I just, Embry only has one bed so" He stopped then moved closer to me nervously. "Not that Embry would you know, I didn't mean, I mean it's just I have three bedrooms so"

It fell silent between us, I couldn't help but smile at how nervous Paul had just got. He noticed me smiling and blushed even more.

"Thank you, if you don't mind" I squeaked and he nodded before turning so quickly that he hit his arm on the wing mirror breaking it slightly. "Oh, you ok?" I asked and he nodded still not looking at me but flinging the passenger door open and running around the truck to his side. I tried not to giggle but trying not to giggle made me smile even more and so I got in and hid my face from him.

He put the car into reverse and I glanced out of the window, a car had pulled to the parking lot. I looked at the driver and my stomach dropped, it was Rachel. I hadn't seen her since that day, she had flown out to Hawaii to see her sister, I didn't know she was back. She had a big coat on but I could see she was in her nurse uniform. She looked tired. She glanced at the truck as it pulled backwards and her eyes locked on me, she looked sad. Because of me, she had been in love with Paul but she let go of him for me. That had to have hurt her. She gave me a small smile and I gave one back before the car was turned and I lost view of her. My heart was thumping and I felt my eyes tear up. If it hadn't been for her, would I even be here right now? Probably not. What would Paul be doing? Spending Christmas alone. My heart ached, both for what could have happened and for Rachel. I noticed Paul watching me and I blinked at my red eyes and turned to the window. He didn't know it was Rachel, I hadn't mentioned the dress again, not to anyone.

Neither of us said anything on the drive to his house, he was fiddling with the radio for the most of it trying to find a station that wasn't playing Christmas songs. It was only as we pulled into his road that he found a station playing 80's tunes and he stopped fiddling. But by this point I only heard 5 seconds of a song I vaguely remember my mom dancing to before the car cut off and Paul hopped out.

"Uh the house is a bit cold" He mumbled as we walked down the dark path. "I don't really feel the cold and the heating gave out back in September but I don't need it so I didn't fix it, I mean I have extra blankets"

"I'll be fine" I assured him and he nodded before fumbling with the lock on the door and finally opening the door to the little house. He flicked the light on, it hadn't changed much since last time. A few things were gone or moved places but the little hallway was still the same, I walked to the living room and flicked the light on whilst Paul went to the kitchen. My eyes found it immediately, there was a tree in the corner but it was bare, there were no ornaments, no sign of Christmas except the empty tree. I walked over to it, it was almost dead, the smell of Christmas had gone from it but next to the trunk of the tree lay a small box labelled Christmas.

"Oh umm Sue got it for me, she always does but I don't" Paul spoke behind me and I jumped slightly. He doesn't decorate it, I felt sad for him. How many Christmases had he been alone for?

"You don't like Christmas?" I asked looking at him, he shrugged then nodded.

"I used to, we used to get the biggest tree so big none of us could even put a star on top, we would watch 'It's a wonderful life' and eat popcorn until one of us was sick and decorate the room but last couple years, I guess, I guess things change" He was talking quietly, he was upset.

"Me and my mom would make gingerbread and decorate the tree, I used to hide the candy canes in my pockets and eat them when she put me to bed. I always thought she didn't know but I think she did really. We would play Christmas music so loud the neighbours always complained, secretly I bet old man Arthur loved it but he never let on he used to wave his stick in the air and growl at me" I smiled at him and he laughed a little. "You know just cause people aren't here anymore doesn't mean you can't do things the same, or enjoy it, this year I made Sam wear a Christmas jumper and decorate the tree with me whilst singing 'Santa clause is coming to town', it was just as fun, it was a little hard on the ears but it's nice to make new traditions"

Paul just nodded, I didn't want him to miss out on Christmas. I looked at the pile of DVD's he had in the corner and walked to them taking my jacket off and slipping my boots off as I went. "Any Christmas films?"

"It's eleven at night"

"Yeah?" I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and he chuckled a little before nodding.

"Over there, Quil was here with Claire the other day she left one"

I rummaged until I found two. "Elf or Santa Clause" I held them up and Paul looked puzzled. "Well, I don't like Will Ferrell so Tim Allen wins" I held up the Santa Clause and began putting it into his DVD player. "Food?"

"You just ate"

"So? Like you wouldn't eat food right now?" I questioned back and he nodded before walking out to the kitchen. I could hear him rifling through his cupboards. I went to the tree, the little box didn't have much in it but it was enough.

"I have marshmallows, fruit loops and diet coke?" Paul questioned as he walked back in, I nodded an he put them on the coffee table. "So now what?" He asked and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Now we decorate the tree, actually this can go on the fireplace" I pulled out a couple Santa ornaments and handed them to him. I could hear the film starting in the background. Paul stood for a moment just watching me, but after he saw that I was actually decorating his dying tree he stepped forward and helped me. He hung the high ones I couldn't quite get too whilst I stayed low. The film kept playing in the background, I occasionally stopped and watching it and nibbled on fruit loops whilst Paul mostly watched it and ate marshmallows.

A song began playing on the TV and I smiled, I used to sing this with mom.

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" A voice began singing, not the low one from the TV but a soft yet husky one that I knew, Paul. I looked across at him as he hung a bauble at the top of the tree, he carried on until he saw me looking. "What?" He blushed and I started smiling, slightly smugly.

"You're singing Christmas songs"

"So I like this song" He mumbled back and hid behind the tree.

"So, you told me you don't sing anymore" I quizzed and he shrugged. "You said you had no reason to"

"It's just a song Sav" He breathed out but I knew he was smiling, maybe I had filled him with Christmas cheer. "Pass me another bauble" He asked and I reached down to the box, there was none left, only a star.

"Just this" I handed it to him but he didn't take it.

"You can do it" He stepped back, I looked at the tree, it was too big I couldn't reach the top. "Need a hand?" Paul asked smugly and I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Nope" I popped and began trying to jump to reach the top, a few baubles fell off as I hit into the tree and Paul started laughing before he grabbed my waist in his thick hot hands. I wanted to say something, something witty but nothing came out. I couldn't breathe properly let alone speak as I felt his warmth rush over me and goose bumps sprung up on my skin. He seemed frozen like me, I wanted to turn but as I tried to he lifted me from the floor and held me up against his torso. I was shaking, I knew I was shaking but I had to do something. I had to make the atmosphere light again and so I leant forward and placed the star in its place knocking a few other baubles off as I went, Paul dropped me and I fell backwards, he didn't catch me and I leant against the fireplace to steady myself. That's when I saw it, a photo. I hadn't seen it before. It was a printed photo, a recent one of a girl. She was pretty, I knew her. She was her, the girl from the stairs, the girl in New York.

"Paul" I breathed out, my fingers ran over the picture of the girl. She was laughing, her hair falling around her face. Her eyes, it was her, she had the most beautiful eyes.

"Sorry" He mumbled. "I um, I don't want to"

"Paul" I cut over him and turned around holding the picture. "Who is this girl?" I asked sounding a little crazy.

His face hardened. "It's just a photo Rachel gave me it's not like that" He fumbled over his words.

"No Paul, who is she? I know her" I breathed out and Paul's hard posture seemed to stiffen again, he wasn't moving at all.

"She's, she's my sister" He finally spoke and I looked down at the photo. I knew I knew her, they have the same eyes. I knew it, she was so familiar. "How can you know her?"

"In New York, I was, I upset and she found me, she helped me, I was crying and she walked me home" I whispered and his hand came down on mine as he finally moved. He took the picture from me.

"She always helps everyone" He breathed out. "Rachel gave it to me with her phone number"

He was looking at it, his face in a hard frown. "Did she look ok? Was she skinny, or pale, did she look hurt?"

He was worried, he said earlier he just needed to know she was ok. He had no way of knowing it, but I did. I saw her, I met her she was fine. She was pissed at him but she was ok. She looked healthy, happy, she was still kind like he said she was. I stepped toward him, feeling his body against mine.

"She's ok Paul, she's ok" I told him and he let out a long breath. I wanted to say more, tell him everything that happened but as I opened my mouth to speak he swooped down on me. His warm lips covered mine and his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me closer. I leant up towards him, pressing myself against him. Allowing his warmth to cover me, his smell to fill my senses.

A new feeling rushed through me, one I had never experienced. I was warm, I was tingling but I needed more. I was always so scared to be close to him but as I stood here with him all I wanted was him. There was a heat in my stomach and my heart was exploding in my chest. I needed more with him; I was ready for more with him.

"Paul" I whispered as he backed away, he got to the door and turned his back. "Paul" I said again and he turned his head to listen to me. I was shaking all over, I wasn't sure of what to say but I was ready to not be friends, I was ready for something else. "If I, if I didn't want to be alone tonight" I squeaked, his back went hard, his body was tensing.

"Savannah" He spoke in a warning, but I knew what I wanted, I was ready, I think. I mean, we were barely dating but it felt right, it felt perfect. I felt safe, I was scared, but it was right. He was my soul mate wasn't he?

"Paul" I replied, my voice was shaking, all of me was shaking. I walked toward him, his body was shaking too but it wasn't from his wolf, it was just him. My hand reached out for his, my fingertips found his palm and a wave ran over my body, warmth and tingling. His hand closed around mine and he turned to face me, soaking me in with his eyes, assessing me. I thought for a second he was going to leave me again but then he moved closer, his body touching mine. I couldn't breathe properly, I wasn't sure I was breathing. I was transfixed on his face, his eyes. He was moving closer to me, my tongue flicked over my lips without meaning to and as he saw it something flashed in his eyes and he leant down, stopping briefly to look me in the eyes again before closing the gap between our faces.

His lips touched mine; kissing softly, then he kissed harder pulling me to his body as my lips opened for him and his kiss deepened. A growl escaped his throat as my stomach did somersaults, my skin was on fire, and my heart was going crazy and all I could smell was him. His teeth grazed over my bottom lip and he pulled back. His whole body was hard against mine. I couldn't breathe, I was sure he couldn't either. He looked torn, pained even. He leant in and gave me one quick peck before pulling right back, his arms let me go and before either of us could say anything he turned and walked into the kitchen, I heard him hit something, a cupboard. He was angry.

I felt like crying, the warmth was gone, the tingling had faded. I felt cold, alone. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to just stand here. I slipped out of the living room and began up the stairs, I tried not to look in the kitchen but I did. Paul was stood gripping the kitchen counter. He was angry. Maybe he didn't like me like that. Maybe we were just friends. I reached the landing, one door was open and I aimed for it. It was his, the dark wallpaper and lack of decoration told me that. I hovered by the door unsure of where to go now. I couldn't sleep in his room, his sisters. I walked from the open door only to be pulled back by a rough calloused hand. I fell against the door frame and Paul's body shadowed mine, his eyes were on fire again and he was staring at me with intent.

"I won't do anything unless you're ready Savannah, you call the shots here, I won't unless you want it so don't" He stopped, he couldn't find the words. He wasn't angry; he was scared I didn't want it.

His hands held mine, his body was against mine, all I wanted was him, all of him but I was scared. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. "I want" I stopped; I didn't know what to say. "I want to be with you" I whispered, a small smile hit his lips but then it faded.

"What else?" He breathed, I smelt candy on his breath, it made me want to kiss him more.

"Everything" I gulped. "I want everything with you" I squeaked out feeling stupid and he nodded.

"I've found it" He whispered against my lips.

"What?"

"My reason" He spoke and I felt like I melted. I understood what he meant. I felt it to, I had felt earlier at the beach. He was my reason. My reason for everything, breathing. I had come here alone, broken. But he found me, we messed it up but we fixed it again. He was it, I leant up and kissed him as he pushed me back into his room. I felt him lower me to the bed, this should have been the scariest moment of our relationship so far but I felt safe, I felt content. He wouldn't hurt me. For the first time, in maybe my whole life I felt clear. Everything felt right, I had him, my best friend, my wolf, I had found my clarity.

There is it, thank you for sticking with me for this long time! So Sam and Paul are friends again, Paul and Savannah are together. Sam and Emily have a family, Savannah has a job, Paul's sister is at least back in contact with him and we know she is safe and ok, so everyone is happy. They will grow old and have babies and live happily ever after, until drama strikes again.

Thank you for being amazing readers.