Written for KeepsAwayTheNargles' Quelf Competition (1200 words - 1197; a character must think of Professor Sprout; Character A must hit Character B on the head)

Honking Daffodils

"Why do they make us do this stupid subject?" Dean almost shouted, closing his book with a loud snap. Many heads turned to look at him, and Madam Pince's eyes narrowed at the young man sitting just feet from her. "I can't wait to be rid of it once we do these OWLs."

Seamus, who was just finishing up his essay on honking daffodils gave a smirk at his friend's frustration. "It's not that bad," he mused. "I mean, look…." He shoved his essay in Dean's face. "When else will we get to write ten inches on honking daffodils and their uses?"

Dean only glared. "I'd rather write about something more… dangerous," he said, thinking of the plump Professor Sprout and her delight at the idea of receiving forty essays on one stupid plant. She'd love it, he realised. She really would.

"Then we'd actually have to read books," Seamus said. "Here, we can just make it up." He passed the essay over, and as Dean scanned the writing, his lips involuntarily formed a grin as he read further and further down the page.

"Say, you mind if I borrow some of this?" he asked.

Seamus shrugged. "If you do she might think it's true," he said, and Dean grinned.

"So, you say they… that they do what?" He pointed to a sentence in Seamus' writing, and Seamus gave another shrug.

"Well, there's nothing in the books, is there?"

Dean let out a bellow of laughter, and a shhh noise came from Madam Pince, hard eyes glaring at the pair of them.

"Oh no, she's coming over here," Seamus groaned, snatching the parchment back and picking up a quill. "Thanks a lot, mate."

Dean didn't look at all guilty. "I wasn't the one to write about honking daffodils dancing to their own music," he accused just as the librarian approached them with a very stern expression on her face.

"Is there a problem, boys?" she wanted to know.

"Just… just writing our essays," Dean said, trying not to laugh in the process.

"And that requires laughter and shouting, does it?" Madam Pince insisted.

Dean and Seamus both stifled fits of laughter they could feel brewing up inside them, and shook their heads.

"No, Miss," Seamus said, looking to Dean for support. But the other boy only had a partially-contained sombre expression. "Just writing about honking daffodils."

Madam Pince pursed her lips, the name of the plant obviously not amusing to her in the slightest. She took her time to look both young men in the eyes, before sniffing and saying, "One more peep from either of you, and you're both out. Understood?"

They both nodded, but collapsed on the table in silent fits of laughter as she walked away.

"I need to get this essay done," Dean said after they'd settled down and sobered slightly. He opened the book he had just closed moments earlier and scanned the contents. "Honking daffodils, honking daffodils," he muttered, dragging his finger along the words in the hopes of finding something – anything – that might help him more than it had helped Seamus.

"We could always ask Hermione Granger," Seamus then suggested after a moment. "I'm sure she's finished now."

"She won't help," Dean answered, waving him away. "Oh, look, found it!"

"Now you've done it," Seamus groaned as he turned his head to find Madam Pince walking promptly towards them, her face very, very angry.

"Sorry," Dean muttered, "But there's a whole two paragraphs on them here."

"Out! The both of you, get out!"

"Can I borrow this book?" Dean asked, holding the old thing up so she could read the cover. "I need it for an essay."

Madam Pince only jabbed her finger harder in the direction of the library's exit. "Out!" she said, and she looked only a moment from picking them both up by the scruff of their robes and chucking them out herself.

Muttering apologies, Dean and Seamus left, almost running until they were a good ten feet away.

"Thanks a lot," Seamus accused, glaring at his best mate.

"What's your problem?" Dean retorted, "You've finished yours. Sprout's gonna kill me if I don't get it finished."

Seamus shrugged. "Just go back later today," he said. "You know she'll let you back in. She has to."

"It might be too late, then," Dean argued. "Not every book contains information on them, you know."

"Well, just copy off mine," Seamus said as they began walking back to the Gryffindor common room. "Then just change it up a little, or something."

"Not obvious at all," Dean muttered. "No, I'll go back and get it later when she's in a better mood."

They made their way back to a very packed common room. First years through to seventh years were all crammed into a small pace, trying to get in as much study as possible before exams in three weeks.

For fifth years, it was a matter of finishing homework and then studying.

"How's the honking daffodils coming along, Neville?" Seamus asked, heading to where Neville Longbottom was squished between two second year students. He had his quill to paper and had a fair bit of writing down when he looked up.

"Oh, I'm almost done!" he exclaimed, cheerful. "I just need to finish off their uses and the importance of their uses and I'm finished." He beamed, apparently quite proud of this feat.

"You mean… you understand?" Seamus asked, slightly taken aback. Neville wasn't normally one to be confident with any homework.

"Oh, yes," Neville said. "Yes, they're quite useful, really. You just have to know what to use them for."

"Where did you find this information?" Dean wanted to know. Maybe he could borrow the book or the brain Neville had gotten it from.

"I read about it a while ago," Neville answered, looking back down at his parchment.

"Can I have the book?"

"It's with my gran."

Seamus and Dean shared a look, shrugged, and then left for two armchairs that had just been vacated. "At least we're not the only ones making things up," Seamus said. "Neville is, too."

"Do you reckon it's safe to go back to the library yet?" Dean wondered. If Neville had almost finished, then he must have been the only one left.

"Nah, wait an hour or so." Seamus yawned, sinking back into the armchair. "Maybe two."

"Easy for you to say, you've finished," Dean accused. And when no reply came, he looked to find that his friend had fallen asleep where he sat, quiet snores escaping in a whistle every so often. "Hey!" He snatched Seamus' rolled up essay from his hand and whacked him over the head with it.

Seamus woke, startled. "Ow! Waddaya do that for?" he groaned, rubbing the spot on his head where he'd been hit.

Dean smirked. "I'm going to get that book," he said. "You can come if you want, or you can sleep."

Seamus grunted, debated his options, and then sighed. "I might as well," he said. "I have nothing better to do than to be kicked out of the library again for breathing."

Dean only grinned. "Let's go," he said.

Sometimes plotless fics are fun. I mean... this could very well have happened, you never know. And honking daffodils are a legit plant in the wizarding world, if you were wondering. Wiki told me.

Please leave a review if you read it. I'd love to hear your thoughts.