Thank you to everyone who's been reading and to those who have left such lovely comments. I may not reply but I read them all and I appreciate them greatly.

I have most of this plotted out in notes and in my head, but I ran out of chapters that were already written and just needed some light editing. I've become a ridiculously sporadic writer.

Cinnamon and Sand- 5

I wasn't sure what woke me this time. It wasn't a heart pounding escape into consciousness, but something in the room had changed. Raising my chakra, I was rewarded with a soft blue glow from across the room. I caught a glimpse of Gaara's shadowed face before his fingers curled around the pendant to block out the light. There hadn't been enough time to see his expression.

"How long have you been there?" I asked, my voice still rough from sleep. He didn't answer and I started to get a little nervous. Was my presence keeping him from coming to bed? I reluctantly pulled back the blankets and started to get up so I could let him have the bed to himself.

"You don't have to leave," he said.

I paused mid-motion to look across the room again. I really wished I could see Gaara's face, but there was no moon tonight and he kept a tight grip on the pendant.

"Look, I'm sorry I barged in without asking. I'll go sleep on the couch or something."

"That is not necessary."

I heard the quiet rustle of fabric like he was getting to his feet and I was pretty sure he was heading for the door.

"Dammit, Gaara. Where the hell are you going? This is your room." I was tired and I had no patience right now. There was a pause and a moment of almost painful silence.

"Are you angry with me?" His words were so quiet, I almost didn't hear them. But what I did hear clearly was the sad loneliness underneath. Any irritation I'd felt drained away immediately and I sagged where I sat on the edge of the bed.

"Not really." It was a stupid thing to say. I didn't want leave any room for doubt. I was frustrated and confused, and yes, I was angry. But I wasn't specifically angry with Gaara. The only problem was that I wasn't sure he knew that or not. We'd almost ruined what he had once by not talking to each other. A little assumption went a long way and I had to be careful not to continue doing that. Talking about difficult stuff was pretty awful. Sometimes it was just awkward and I never knew what to say. Sighing, again, I flipped back the blankets and slid underneath so I could scoot over and make room for him.

"Come here."

There was another heavy pause and for a moment, I wasn't sure he would. But Gaara seemed to make some sort of decision because when he got into bed, he immediately slid over to my side and pressed himself up against me. I pulled up the blankets and wrapped my arms around him. He was so tense. And cold. I could feel faint tremors shaking his whole body and the tip of his nose was chilly where he buried it in my neck. His toes were like ice.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"For what?" I shifted under the blankets to wrap us both in the robe I was wearing. Had he been outside all night in just a thin shirt and sleep pants?

"For the distance I have created between us." He stared shivering and I wasn't sure if it was because he was upset of if his body had just now realized how cold it was.

"Today was rough," I told him. And kind of weird. I still wasn't sure about all that. It wasn't like I'd been looking at a stranger exactly, but it was a side of him I don't think I'd ever really seen before. But maybe that's because I'd only been present for emotional times in his life. I'd never really been around on a normal day when he interacted with other people.

"It's not often that people are still that openly hostile toward me." He swallowed hard. "At least not in my presence."

I'd heard some things the last time I'd been here. There were some people that still distrusted Gaara. I understood what it felt like to deal with that. There were a bunch of people in my village that still didn't trust me either. But some of the people here held onto their fear and hate so much that they'd abandoned the village entirely. And there were others within the country that were trying to make it difficult for Suna. Gaara had overcome so much but there were still problems he needed to deal with.

"It's easy. To fall into old habits," he said before taking a breath and letting it out in a deep sigh. "The distance. It's to. . .protect myself." The words were hesitant as if he didn't quiet know how to explain. Or they might have been painful to say. I wasn't quite sure which it was, but I think I knew what he was talking about. That kind of scorn hurt. Sometimes the best defense was to make it look like it didn't make a difference. Gaara's fingers curled as he gripped the fabric of my shirt before he forced them to relax again.

"Sometimes it's to protect others. I no longer lash out blindly when I'm threatened. But before. . .when I still had to control Shukaku. . ." There was obvious pain in his words now. "It was possible that I would harm others. Sometimes it was a certainty." He went still beside me as if waiting for my reaction.

I understood this too even if I'd handled it differently when I was young. There were times when I was so tired of the fear. I'd almost wanted to give the villagers something they'd really be afraid of. At least then I'd know there was a reason they hated me. But it had been a momentary impulse, not a driving need.

We'd never really talked about his past much and I knew there were things about him I didn't know. But I didn't need to because I knew his pain. The details didn't matter. Sometimes it felt like I was trying to learn about who he was now, but if I really thought about it, Gaara was probably learning about himself too. There were so many new things for him, so many new experiences and emotions that he didn't have much practice with.

Guilt plucked at me as I though of how I'd reacted earlier on the way here. I'd wanted to make this work and but I wasn't doing a very good job. I'd have to be patient, which I was bad at. And I'd have to find a way to be more calm, which I was also bad at.

But this right here. I could do this. Settling further into the bed, I brushed my lips over Gaara's forehead. Actions were sometimes easier than words. With another long sigh, Gaara finally started to relax. It was just a little bit, but it was better than nothing. We lay there quietly for a little while until I started to feel Gaara's muscles tightening up again.

"They believe I'm the one who attacked them." His voice was a small whisper in the dark. Like he was afraid the words would be true if he said them out loud.

"It wasn't you," I told him firmly. "You saved everyone that you could even if they wouldn't let you help." And I admired him for that. Sometimes I envied the way he kept his composure while he did what had to be done.

"I am aware I was not the cause." Part of him didn't sound too sure. "But seeing is sometimes believing," he said, his tone suddenly heavy. "There are those who need little provocation to jump to the wrong conclusions."

"They're idiots," I muttered. "And speaking of idiots, did any of your council geezers actually have anything helpful to say when you told them what happened?" I felt his lips twitch briefly against my neck. Just a flicker of movement. It wasn't a smile but I'd take what I could get at this point.

"Kazuo village will be watched. Another team was sent to observe at a distance. It is all that can be done at this point," Gaara said through a yawn. He wasn't much closer to relaxing, but he seemed to be losing the fight against sleep.

"Are those people going to let anyone help them at all? What about the Feudal Lord?" Kazuo village was just a normal town and it didn't look like they had any real ninjas. Everyone who'd stood against us looked formidable, just not on the same level as us. But they were still part of the Land of Wind, so somebody should do something.

"The Wind Lord has little interest in the politics of small towns so long as it doesn't affect him personally," Gaara murmured, sounding half asleep. "Kazuo is a border town but it's not near any major trade routes. They keep mostly to themselves."

It occurred to me that he was giving me a lot of information and I wasn't sure he realized he was doing it. I almost started to feel a little guilty. If he was going to answer serious questions when he was sleepy that he might not normally answer when he was awake, I didn't want to take advantage of that.

"Um. Should you be telling me any of this?"

Gaara lifted his head to look at me though heavily lidded eyes. I could just barely make out his face in the low light from my own pendant. His chakra tended to rise slightly as he fell asleep.

"Will you be planning military strategies based on this information?" It was hard to tell if he was serious or not.

"No," I said, trying not to sound too grumpy about it. "I just haven't figured out what I'm allowed to know yet. The whole political thing is weird and complicated. It's so much easier when it's just you and me and we can forget the rest of that crap."

"'The rest of that crap' is the job you're aiming for, remember?"

"Don't change the subject."

Gaara watched me for a moment more before laying back down again and tucking his head under my chin. "The Wind Lord rarely hides his opinions even when they're unflattering. It's fairly common knowledge. As for the village, I'm sure you'd find that information readily available in Konoha's reports."

I supposed that was true. And I bet Suna had all kinds of info on Fire villages too, especially the ones near the borders. Gaara yawned again before going quiet. I think he was done talking for the night. He'd calmed down a lot since I woke up which was a good thing. As much as the village's reaction upset him, I think he'd been more worried about him and me than anything else. I closed my eyes and tried to follow him into sleep.

. . . . . . .

When I woke again, light was filtering in through the balcony doors. I'd rolled onto my back sometime during the night and Gaara was a heavy weight against my side with his body half draped over mine. I didn't mind. It wasn't often that I got to see him sleep and I lay there enjoying the feel of him against me. There were probably tons of meetings and stuff for him to do today too, so I was going to make sure he slept as long as he could. But Gaara seemed to have other plans as he blinked up at me. He almost seemed a little surprised and something flickered in his eyes for a moment before his expression softened.

"Good morning, Naruto," he said quietly. He said it every morning after spending the night together, almost as if it were convincing himself that I was really there.

"I didn't wake you did I?"

"No. I have been awake for some time now." But he hadn't gotten up. I rolled onto my side and wrapped myself around him. Now that we were both awake, I knew we'd need to get ready for the day. But in a moment. The world could wait for just a moment. When we finally pulled ourselves apart, I stood up and stretched. I'd have to go back to my own room to get changed for breakfast. This wasn't like the last time when I was in Suna by myself. Kakashi was probably looking for me already.

I hadn't turned on any of the lights when I came in the night before and I looked around the room for the first time in months. Not much had changed. There were a few different scrolls and books on the shelves. The worktable on the other side of the room had a couple pieces of rough stone sitting on it that looked new. But other than that, it was still the same. I felt strangely at home here in a way I didn't when I was in my own apartment.

My eyes drifted to the door, expecting someone to knock at any moment. I hoped that nobody was going to come looking for us until we were ready to see them. But when nobody appeared, I relaxed again. There was a soft amber glow in the corner by the door as something caught the sliver of morning light coming in between the curtains. There was a small pedestal sitting beside one of the bookshelves. I don't think it was visible from the doorway but there was a clear view from the bed. Moving closer, I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face.

I'd seen pictures and little figurines of the nine-tails before and all of them looked scary. None of them had been anything like the statue on the pedestal that was carved from some sort of amber colored stone. The fox was on all fours crouched down over his front paws with his hind quarters in the air and all his tails waving. He looked like a puppy that wanted to play. There was something about it that made me really happy for some reason. I turned to find Gaara watching me. I'd seen him carve stuff before but this was amazing. There was so much detail it looked like the fur would be soft to the touch.

"Did you make this?"

His eyes flicked to the statue and back and he paused before answering. "Yes," he said finally.

"Most of the Kyuubi stuff I see is really creepy, but I really like this."

Gaara's lips twitched in a small smile as he came over to stand beside me. "This is actually the third one that I made. I was unhappy with the first two. They portrayed too much anger."

"I wonder why this one came out so different."

Gaara paused and looked at the statue for a moment. "When I made it, I was thinking of you," he murmured before grabbing the clean clothes he'd set on the bed and suddenly heading into the bathroom. I watched him go and wasn't quite sure what to say. I stood staring at the statue for several minutes before following him.

"Hey, Gaara. . ." I stopped in the doorway. Gaara was standing fully dressed in his Kage robes in front of the mirror staring at his reflection. To anyone else, he probably looked pretty calm. But I could see him struggling with himself. Moving up behind him, I tried to catch his gaze in the mirror, but he wouldn't quite meet my eyes. "What's wrong."

"I am. . .unsettled."

"I'm sorry that I got so frustrated the other day."

"It's not that." He shook his head. "It's easy between the two of us when we're alone together yet difficult to balance that with the world outside. It's troubling for me. I've learned how to be a leader, and I've learned what it's like to love."

I moved forward and wrapped my arms around his waist. He leaned back into the embrace without hesitation and finally met my gaze in the mirror.

"And I know what it is to be loved." Sighing quietly, he closed his eyes. "But it's difficult to reconcile all that I feel with all that I know."

"I think I get what you're saying." Or at least I thought I did. The last part was a little confusing, but everything else was pretty much a mirror of my own thoughts. It had seemed so much easier for the two of us the last time I was here. I didn't remember all the outside stuff being so difficult before. When I said so, Gaara turned in my arms and looked at me.

"When last you were in Suna, it was relatively quiet."

I laughed which made him frown. Kissing the spot between his brows, I smiled. "Sorry. I'm just not used to be being described as quiet." My expression grew a little more serious. "But there was a lot of stuff happening then."

Gaara brought his hands up to toy with the edge of my robe which was hanging half open. I couldn't remember if I'd ever seen him fidget so much. That was usually something I did.

"While there were many personal things we dealt with before, there were no exams with crucial outcomes and no apparent political unrest. At least nothing so obvious as what happened the other day."

I knew he was leaving something out, but I didn't want to remind him. He was probable already thinking about it. When I was here before, a patrol had been sent out to check one of the borders. They'd come across two rogue ninja which they hadn't really been prepared for. The team managed to neutralize them, but at a cost. One of the Genin died.

The two rogues had once been part of Suna before leaving when Gaara had become Kazekage. At the time, I hadn't known that. I'd heard most of the story later, but I'd held Gaara in my arms when he'd cried that day. He'd volunteered to tell the kid's mother what had happened. He'd felt responsible and blamed himself for being the cause and not being able to protect everyone. It was one of my most proud and most heartbreaking moments.

"We'll figure it out," I told him. Gaara nodded in reply and I tightened my arms around him. He pressed into the embrace and we stood there for a little while. I had no idea how to figure any of this out, but I wasn't going to stop trying.

"Will I see you at all today?" I asked him. It occurred to me that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing while I was here. I knew my team was going to test the exam grounds but the details were a mystery.

"There will be meeting later this morning about the test run which has been pushed back until the day after tomorrow. But I may not see you again until late this evening." His eyes were somber when he pulled back. "I fear I have been a poor host so far," he said as he led the way back into his bedroom.

"Nah. It's cool." I glanced around. "I probably won't be spending many nights in my room though. Yours is way better." My hand paused on the door knob as something else occurred to me. I turned back to him and grinned sheepishly. "But um. . .could you show me where my roonm is? I don't think I can find it from here." That earned me a small twitch of his lips. This felt normal and something seemed to settle between us. For now, everything was okay.

. . . . . . .

Kakashi, Yamato, and Shikamaru were all at the table when I came in for breakfast. They looked up as I entered the room and Yamato poured a cup of tea for me as I sat down with them.

"Good morning, Naruto," he said.

"Morning. Where's Lee?"

Shikamaru blew out a breath. "Doing ten laps around the village before breakfast," he said, looking tired just talking about it.

"It was twenty, actually," Lee said from the doorway behind me. "I was unable to finish one thousand sit-ups in the time I'd set for myself."

My chopsticks paused on the way to my mouth. "Seriously?"

Lee grinned. "Of course! I want to be in peak condition for the test. How could I settle for anything less?"

I shook my head. I'd never been able to keep up with his crazy training regimen, but if he wanted to flirt with heat stroke, that was his business. Or maybe it would be hypothermia if he did it at night. I chewed my rice thoughtfully for a moment as he came to sit down at the table with us.

"Now that we're all here," Kakashi said as he set his book aside. "The original schedule has been adjusted due to the events that happened on the way here."

"You mean when we retreated and left a bunch of people in need behind," I muttered. Kakashi didn't show any sign that he'd heard me. I scowled into my teacup and tried to make it look like I wasn't pouting. The whole thing still bothered me no matter how calm I'd been last night in Gaara's room.

"The test has been moved to three days from now."

"Wait," I said. "I thought it was rescheduled to the day after tomorrow." At least that's what Gaara had said earlier. Shikamaru looked at me for a moment and I looked right back, daring him to say anything about how I knew that. But he just shrugged and sat back.

"There was a last minute meeting early this morning," Shikamaru said.

A frown pulled at my face. If they'd had a meeting this morning, they'd done it without Gaara. What the hell did they think they were doing? I thought they were going to try and work with him from now on. His siblings had to know at least because they seemed to know everything. I had no idea how Gaara would feel about it.

"That stuff from the other day isn't going to mess up the test or the exams, is it?" I asked, suddenly worried that the attack on the village would keep the exams from being held here.

"At present, everything is still scheduled," Yamato said without a hint of worry. But I was worried. I really wanted this to go well.

"Now what?" I asked him. "What are we going to do for three days?"

"At present, we are guests and have freedom to tour the village as we wish," Kakashi said. Suna and Konoha's alliance was strong enough that we didn't officially need escorts, but we'd probably be watched anyway. I couldn't let it bother me. We'd do the same thing to them if they visited us.

"Okay, but what are we supposed to do?" I asked, trying not to sound to petulant. I wouldn't be able to spend time with Gaara during the day, but there wasn't much else to do that I could think of. I couldn't really train seriously. As much as we were allies with Suna, that was probably crossing a line of some sort. And I didn't want to put them at risk in case something went wrong. Being monitored during training really bothered me, but I wasn't going to be stupid about it.

"For the time being, we do nothing," Kakashi said patiently. "At least not this morning. There is another meeting scheduled this afternoon and we will be briefed about the test. Until then, I suggest you find something to occupy yourself with."

"Let train to be our very best!" Lee said as he clapped me on the back.

"In this heat? I don't think so," Shikamaru said as he lay back on the floor. "I'm going to be busy acclimating myself to the heat. You guys go ahead." He waved us off. When he said acclimating, he probably meant napping.

"Naruto, what do you say?"

I looked at Lee and then down at my cup. "Uh, not this morning," I told him as I stood up and headed toward the door. I really didn't feel like joining him for some reason. "Maybe later."

After all the fuss about sending me ahead to the village and out of harm's way, I was basically being dismissed again. I was sure Kakashi and Yamato were going to talk about things this morning, but I obviously wasn't going to be included. I thought about going back to Gaara's room and maybe reading a book, but I decided to go outside instead. If I knew where the test would be held, I might have gone to check out the area, but I wasn't sure where it would be. I'd have to settle for walking around the village instead.

. . . . . . .

Being alone in a different village was different than being alone at home. At home I might have visited friends, but most of the people I was closest to were the farthest away right now. So I wandered the streets kind of aimlessly. It was really hard not to spend all my time brooding about how unfair everything was and worrying about Gaara. But like so many other things, I needed to shake it off and focus on what was happening now instead of the things I couldn't control. I didn't really have a specific destination in mind as I kept walking.

Overall, Not much had changed in Suna since my last visit but I could see signs of construction as their population expanded. It was easy to forget that villages were about more than just the ninjas that trained to go on missions. There were builders and cooks and tailors and farmers all sorts of people that helped the village do what it needed to do. Several familiar faces smiled and nodded at me as they passed. Forcing myself to relax, I smiled back and continued on my way. It was nice to see everyone working together and it made me wish I'd spent more time observing my own village.

It struck me suddenly that maybe it wasn't so different here after all. I stopped in the middle of the street and looked around more carefully. There were a lot similarities that I could see between Suna and Konoha. There may be sand instead of grass and trees, but the people came together the same way. I needed to pay more attention if I was really serious about becoming Hokage. Maybe I should have stayed and talked with Kakashi Sensei. I had some questions that I wanted to ask him.

As I turned to head back, a sudden breeze blew through the street and I raised my arm to protect my eyes from the dust. It wasn't uncommon for little mini tornados to build in the streets sometimes. They'd blow up suddenly and be gone just as quick. I'd seen them when I'd been here before, but it was a calm day today, so this was a little weird. When it finally died down enough to see where I was going, I headed back toward the tower. I was so lost in thought trying to come up with reasonable questions that I bumped into someone hard enough knock them over. They fell back with yelp of surprise and dropped the bag they were carrying.

"Oh, man. I'm sorry," I said as I leaned down and held out my hand to help him to his feet. I was a guest here and the last thing I needed to do was run over the locals. His shoulder length blonde hair was a little ruffled, probably by the strong wind, but his bluish, violet eyes looked more sheepish than angry.

"It's alright," he said with a soft voice, as he allowed me to help him up. He brushed his tunic and pants off before straightening his apron and picking up his satchel. "The fault was mine. I fear I was daydreaming."

I scratched the back of my head and chuckled. "Yeah, I know what that's like. Are you okay? I wasn't really watching where I was going myself."

"Yes, of course." He seemed to notice me for the first time and I saw him blink in surprise. "You are from the Leaf, yes?"

"Yeah. I'm Uzumaki Naruto." I held out my hand and he took it somewhat reluctantly.

"Not only from Konoha, but the Jinchuriki no less," he said as he shook my hand carefully.

"Um, yeah." I started to feel a little awkward but tried no to let it show. Shrugging, I forced myself to stay relaxed. "I didn't mean to bother you or anything. I should let you get back to what you were doing."

"My apologies," he said, bowing slightly but not before I saw him wince. "I did not mean to give offense."

And there was the fear that I hated to see. I'd almost forgotten how much that hurt. "Don't worry about it. Really. It's no big deal or anything."

He opened his mouth to reply but closed it again like he was thinking about what he was going to say. When he spoke again he smiled, and his voice was much more friendly.

"Perhaps we can attempt our meeting again." He held out his hand.

"Okay." I smiled back suddenly feeling relieved. "I'm Naruto." When we shook hands again, I suddenly felt something at the edge of my awareness like a gentle buzz in my head. I had to blink as my vision got a little fuzzy.

"Are you alright?" he asked me. I felt his arm around my waist supporting my weight as I started to sag.

"Yeah. Just. . .kind of dizzy." What the hell was happening?

"Perhaps you are not quite used to the heat of the sand." He leaned in and spoke quietly into my ear. "It will burn you if you're not careful." His voice sounded weirdly reasonable and ominous at the same time.

I didn't like it when the weather was super hot, but today was a pretty nice day for Suna and I wasn't sure why I suddenly felt so warm. What was up with the weather today? It was like I was burning up from the inside. But then it was gone just as suddenly as it had appeared. I was left blinking up at a clear blue sky from where I lay on the ground.

"Let's get you inside," someone new said.

I didn't recognize the voice and I turned my head to see one of the shopkeepers from across the street looking down at me. Somehow, I'd ended up in a heap in the middle of the road and a small crowd had started to gather. There was no sign of the man I'd bumped into.

"Okay," I mumbled as I several hands helped me stand. They guided me into the interior of the shop which was cooler than outside. Once I was sitting down, someone game me a bottle of water while a cool cloth was placed on the back of my neck. I was already starting to feel better as I took several sips.

"It seems we're rather poor hosts to let you get that dehydrated," the shopkeeper said.

"No, it's okay," I told him. "I wasn't paying attention, I guess." But I wasn't convinced that was true. I'd had a decent breakfast this morning and there was a water bottle at my belt to make sure I didn't dry out in the heat. I had no idea why I suddenly collapsed. And where had my new friend gone? I lifted my head but didn't see him in the shop or out on the street. He hadn't told me his name.

"Thanks." I handed the shopkeeper the empty bottle and stood up.

"Not at all. I'm just glad I was able to help."

"Hey, did you see the guy I was talking to?"

He gave me a strange look like he didn't know what I was talking about. "The wind picked up and you stumbled in the street before collapsing a moment later. I saw no one else."

"That's so weird," I muttered.

"Naruto, are you alright?" Kankuro stood framed in the doorway. He seemed nervous for some reason.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine." Passing out from the heat wasn't going to help convince anyone that I could handle myself. I turned to the shopkeeper and thanked him again before heading outside. I eyed Kankuro who was watching me carefully as he walked beside me down the street.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

Shouldn't he be in a meeting somewhere? He gave me a weird look like he was thinking about something before he shrugged it off and looked away.

"I was in the area running an errand." When he met my eyes again, his expression was little easier to read. He was worried. "Are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should rest until this afternoon."

"I'm fine. Honest. I have no idea what happened. One minute I'm just talking to this guy I bumped into and the next, it feels like I've been wandering around in the desert for three days." Which wasn't technically true. The last time I'd passed out in the desert, I'd been weak and sunburned and barely conscious. Right now I just felt a little tired and a lot confused.

Kankuro hummed in response, not agreeing or disagreeing with what I was saying. I followed him back to the tower in the center of the village and tried not to obsess about what had just happened. I couldn't let anybody see me as weak, especially Gaara's brother. He'd probably tell Gaara, who already had enough to worry about, and I didn't anyone thinking I wasn't fit to take the test.