Skwisgaar hovered within the doorway of Charles' office, arms crossed while he waited for him to get off the phone. He conveyed as efficiently as possible that this wasn't an urgent manner; while he waited, he strolled about the office and inspected various things hanging on the walls.

". . .All right, then. Thank you. Goodbye." The phone clicked as Charles hung up. "What did you need, Skwisgaar?"

Charles still jotted down a series of notes when Skwisgaar took a seat opposite his desk. "I gots a couple order of business to attends to."

"Like what?"

"For ones, I has a confessions to make. Nat'an really amn'ts gay. Toki and me playeds a prank on him wheres he woke up wit' dat guy in my stables and gets convince dey slepts toget'er."

Charles took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "And you're telling me this rather than him because. . .?"

Skwisgaar scoffed. "You jokings? You t'inks I want to get my ass beatens?"

"Ah. So you're hoping I will relay the message for you."

"Ja." Skwisgaar sunk further in his seat. "Ons dat note, I woulds like you to clears out my stable."

"Excuse me?"

"Tells dem peoples to go home."

"To be frank, it's preferable for your own health that you keep them. If you go out in order to find people, they won't have undergone the same STD screening process as your stable must go through."

"I'ms not sleepings wit' dem no mores, so you mights as well get rids of dem. And I not sleepings wit' nobody outsides here eithers."

Charles studied him. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"You a smarts man. You figures it out." Skwisgaar stood. "I gots to go, though. I gots t'ing to do."

Every klokateer Skwisgaar passed on his way back to his room respectfully averted their gaze, as usual. Pretty soon a couple thousand women would get the word that they were to pack up their things and resume normal lives. No doubt they would be confused. No doubt a lot of people would be, once they caught wind. Maybe they'd speculate. But Skwisgaar would give them nothing they didn't absolutely need to know. Besides, the most he and Toki agreed to ever tell anyone—if necessary—was that they were 'involved'. Not too much, not outright denial. No one needed to know what went on behind closed doors. That was far too personal to ever share.

Toki laid on his bed, arms hanging over the edge as he teased the recently dubbed Baldur with a rope toy. The puppy jumped for it, landed with a crash, then shuffled backwards with a wagging tail before trying again. "Go gets it, then."

Baldur skittered after it into the bathroom, where he shook it violently enough to send it off again. "How it go?"

"Goods. He goings to get dat dones for me." Skwisgaar took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I thoughts you was taking him outsides to play?"

"Is too muddies. He smalls enough to finds it fun in here anyway. Besides. . ." Toki slipped a hand under Skwisgaar's ass. "Cans I look again?"

Skwisgaar stood before Toki, then slid his jeans down to the top of his thighs. A smile crossed Toki's face as he looked at where, earlier, he'd taken a permanent marker to Skwisgaar's left cheek: 'do not fuck is Toki only'

"I beens thinking."

"Abouts?"

"There gots to be a reason why you such a butt slut. It feel good, ja?"

Understatement. The very thought of it made Skwisgaar want it all over again.

"Why don'ts you show me?"

"Has you dones anyt'ing wit' it yet?"

"Nopes." Toki rolled onto his back. "I just wants to see what it feel like. I problies wouldn'ts be able to be fucks, but we coulds just see where it goes."

Skwisgaar took a seat beside Toki and pushed the hair away from his face. "I goes by de belief dat it ams easier to learns dat parts of you body on you own befores you let anyone else does t'ing to it. Dat way, you knows youself and whats you can take. Ams why I was so confkant de forst time you fucks me."

"But I knows you butt pretty well. Don'ts that transfer over?"

"Ja, but it ams a bit different when it you own. You can'ts go into it too confkant to starts, or else you gets youself hort because you t'inks you can take more dan you ackslies can." Skwisgaar's fingers trailed down over Toki's chest. "You shoulds try touching youself dere, and t'ing. When you comfies wit' dat, finger youself. Den get some plugs."

"Okays." Toki pushed his lips off to the side. "Sucks to wait, though."

"Wells. . .dere am somet'ing we cans do in de meantime."

"Likes what?"

Skwisgaar lifted Toki's shirt and played with the trail of hair leading down from his bellybutton. "I gots a t'ing what I woulds has never dones before. Woulds never even t'ink about it wit' ot'er people. But I woulds do it for you."

That got Toki's attention. Taking his time, Skwisgaar threw Baldur's rope for him when it was set beside his boot, then shifted to lay down next to the other man. "When I used to jacks off t'inking abouts you, sometimes I t'ink abouts you humiligatings me."

"Hows?"

"By makings me eat you ass out."

Toki's eyes grew hooded as his gaze flicked over Skwisgaar the same way it usually did whenever he planned something. "Is that a thing you okay with, for sures?"

"I don't sees no problem if you ams clean. Wouldn'ts be no different dan lickings any ot'er parts of you body."

"I goings to has a quick showers, then. While I's in there I wants you to goes put Baldur in my room and be nakeds in here by the time I done. I gots more in mind for yous than just that, so don'ts do nothing to youself."

Skwisgaar scooped up the puppy without any further prompting and lightly jogged to Toki's room. As he and Toki grew comfortable with their limits, it wasn't necessary to discuss everything that would happen before a new session. Surprises came more frequently, like the sudden involvement of the riding crop or a toy joining them in the sheets. Maybe this time Toki would take complete control of the situation. Jittery with excitement, Skwisgaar ditched his clothes in practically one swift movement upon return.

Toki came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. Bypassing Skwisgaar seated on the edge of the bed, he headed straight for the top drawer. "I's going to gives you something you ask for a longs time ago."

"What ams dat?"

"You'll knows it pretty quick." Toki went to the bed long enough to blindfold Skwisgaar. "You lets me do whatever?"

"Mhm."

"I's going to gives you the bell to holds onto. You won'ts be able to say red, ifs you need it."

With the room gone dark, Skwisgaar relied on his ears to try and figure out what exactly Toki had in mind. The man rummaged about in the drawer, snapped it shut, and then multiple items hit the bed. Skwisgaar slackened his jaw when a thumb separated his lips. "Opens wide."

Skwisgaar had no choice but to rely on Toki once he lost the ability to use both eyes and mouth. He held his wrists out as they were tied together, then grasped the bell Toki handed him. "Anytimes at all you's uncomfksable, you lets me know. Gots it?"

Skwisgaar nodded.

"Good. Now gets on you knees."

Toki pushed him to hasten the process, forcing Skwisgaar to nearly faceplant on the bed. He hadn't the chance to right himself before his hips were pulled up and back. "I wants you to listens very carefullys to whats I tell you. Your ass is mine. Your cock is mine. Your mouth is mine. No one else is evers allowed to gets near them, and no one's ever alloweds to touch them. If they do, they gots me to answer to. Even if is a bits of shame. . ."

His thumb pressed against Skwisgaar's entrance. "I bets you would makes a good cum dump."

As appealing the idea, the preference of belonging only to one person prevailed. Toki offered Skwisgaar a feel for it anyway, prepping him for use. The point wasn't sexual, and it certainly didn't come off as such to Skwisgaar. He lowered his head and accepted with no fight that Toki benefit from a possession that just so happened to be located on his body. Toki bore no obligation to let him enjoy it; only with his permission would Skwisgaar find some sort of physical release.

Toki slapped him on the ass when he finished. "Stays like that a while."

Something else intruded on Skwisgaar's backside. Its failure to hold in place made Toki chuckle. "Maybes if you was less of a butt slut you'ds be ables to keep a plug in here."

He came back with another, similar to himself in girth. "If this one don'ts work, I don'ts know what to tells you."

The swipe and cool of ink on Skwisgaar's right cheek followed. Ever since the first fuck, Toki kept track of the number. The earliest marks faded a bit more every time Skwisgaar checked them out in the mirror. "I guess in a ways you are kinds of a cum dump."

The mattress shifted as Toki departed. The bathroom door creaked, then the sink briefly ran. Footsteps padded across the floor before Skwisgaar gravitated toward the hand that pet his hair. Simultaneously, something thin and hard slid down between his ass cheeks to nudge the plug. "You deserves this."

That could be taken either positively or negatively. Either way, a sharp intake of breath marked a sharp sting. Skwisgaar's heart pounded immediately, shoulders trembling as Toki moved back to the side of the bed and situated the cane flatly across his backside. It pressed into the flesh, heightening the battle between anticipation and anxiety with Skwisgaar. He gripped the bell for all he was worth.

Out of every object they tried, Skwisgaar settled on this as his favourite. He didn't much care for a thudding impact, like what came with a paddle, in comparison to bite. While difficult for Toki to initially accept, he met Skwisgaar halfway on occasion. He didn't believe Skwisgaar sometimes needed pain to have an orgasm until he paid witness, nor did he foresee how fascinated Skwisgaar would grow with the raised, inflamed skin later in the mirror.

Skwisgaar jolted ahead, gasp ending in his throat. The pain transformed after the first couple whacks, still there but something more. In his head he stood again with one hand on the doorknob in his mother's living room, guitar strung over his back while they tried to yell over one another. She faded into the background and the house fell away, leaving Skwisgaar in the snow. Then Sweden disappeared, along with his roots. His guitar slipped away into the darkness, then his clothes. Then any means to communicate with and experience the world, until one last strike against his body made him feel again.

All Skwisgaar could hear was his own harsh breathing. His brain already pumped out a wash of endorphins and tears wet his blindfold. The bell's edge dug into his hand, in desperation to keep Toki going.

He took one last lungful of breath and let go of the last bout of ownership he claimed over himself. Calloused fingertips trailed up his spine. "I thinks you had enough."

The gag jostled. With its removal Skwisgaar could finally swallow properly. He kept quiet, head still down until Toki lifted his chin. Light assaulted his retinas when the blindfold followed. A couple last tears were pushed down his cheeks when lips pressed against his forehead.

"You dids real good," Toki told him. "Lets me untie you."

Skwisgaar groaned lightly when kissed. "Whats about—?"

"I saids you had enough."

Skwisgaar scratched lightly where the ropes rubbed, pulling a face when Toki removed the plug from him. A hot wash of too many bad feelings clutched his chest; the throbbing ache on his backside only made it worse. He couldn't find himself yet. What did Toki do?

"Hey," Toki said softly. "Hey, is okay."

Skwisgaar clutched him, shame joining the mix as his eyes grew wet again. He could at least keep quiet as he was rocked and deluged with words of comfort. When Toki ran out of things to say in English, he switched to Norwegian. Skwisgaar had no idea what to do. He'd been stripped to his bare essentials; he was no longer a part of the greatest entertainment force on Earth, a son, or even human. Toki comforted a timid little animal desperately seeking something to define itself by. Very slowly, self-awareness trickled back in. He had a name, he had a face. Toki was here. They laid together in his bed. Beyond the room, not even the sound of boots could be heard in the hallway as klokateers went about their daily duties. Mordhaus, Dethklok, the world held in their hands. . .

Skwisgaar remained limp in Toki's arms, utterly exhausted. A calmness unlike anything else he ever felt draped over the very essence of his being, right down to the core. Even the drumming smart on his ass couldn't permeate it. From his chest to the extremities of his fingers and toes, the physical boundary of his body returned to his consciousness.

"Hard crash?"

"I don'ts know. Ams different from de ot'er time."

"Dids I go too far?"

"No." Attempt to press closer found it impossible. Skwisgaar couldn't open his eyes if he tried. "I don'ts know how to describes it."

"I needs to take cares of you." Toki kissed the top of his head. "Woulds you be okay if I goes to the kitchen to gets a couple thing?"

"I t'ink so, ja."

Even the brush of Egyptian cotton against his backside made Skwisgaar cringe. Unable to remain in bed as a result while he waited for Toki's return, he headed for the bathroom instead. Running his fingers lightly over Toki's work didn't feel much different than his guitar strings against the fretboard. It should probably hurt a lot more than it did, but some sort of mental block kept it at bay. Still incapable of pinpointing the cocktail of emotions he experienced, he let out a big sigh. Something massive shifted. That was all he knew for sure.

"Lays down," Toki instructed him when they converged again in the bedroom. He juggled a water bottle, bowl, and ice pack, the two first items of which he handed over. "Heres."

Skwisgaar drank deeply, their activity having parched him, and then smiled as he took a small spoonful of his favourite ice cream. "T'anks."

"Ja." Toki carefully held the ice pack against his ass. "I dids a real number on you. You feels okay?"

"Gettings dere."

"You's sure I didn'ts hurt you? Or scares you?"

"I woulds has let goes of de bell if you dids."

"But you knows that nots every time you capables of decidings that."

"I neededs it. Really," Skwisgaar assured him. "I don'ts got no regret."

"I just likes to be sure. You saids you wanteds me to push you boundaries a little, and I wants to know I didn'ts go past that."

"You dids great. Porfect, reallies." Skwisgaar peered over his shoulder. "Cans I ask you to do somet'ing for me?"

"Anything."

"Woulds you stay wit' me tonight?"

Toki smiled when their eyes met. "Ja, sure."

Need to stick close overrode Skwisgaar's healing body. He dressed despite Toki's misgivings so that he could accompany him outside with Baldur. Being cooped up gave way to a new spurt of energy for the wolf, which Toki chipped away at with a tennis ball and racket.

"Charles know I gots him, hey?" Toki shielded his eyes from the dying sunset as Baldur ripped across the lawn. "He goings to let me keep him, but he say if I serious abouts it being a long-term thing he goings to bring in the best trainers what are for wolves."

"Dat am goods." Skwisgaar only moved whenever necessary, to avoid the irritating chafe of denim. A cold spring wind kept him mostly numb. "Wolves am good pet, if you cans keep dem tame. He won'ts be able to have friend what ams he own kind, though."

"Ja, kinds of suck for him. Good boy!" Toki picked up the slobbery ball with two fingers. "Ugh. But he probably think he one like us anyway."

"You ams de kind of porson what coulds keep him in check too." Skwisgaar watched the ball sail through the air again. "Woleves gots to has a hierarchy. Dey don'ts get equalities and dat crap. If you amn'ts de alpha, den deys will steps up for it."

"Is true."

Baldur let them know he was done by dropping ten feet before Toki, tongue nearly touching the grass as he panted.

"Let's go backs in. We gets him some waters. Ares you hungry, by any chance?"

"I coulds probably eat, ja."

They stopped in Toki's room first, so that Baldur could get a quick bath before they relocated to the entirely white bedroom. Skwisgaar lounged on Toki's bed, attempting again to decipher what changed, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. 'Charles told me what u did. Very funny'

'Ja sorry bout that'

A lengthy pause caused Skwisgaar to believe that was all Nathan had to say, but then a second one came: 'U dont have to reply to this but jsyk we all know about u n toki. We dont really care but ya. We know'

Skwisgaar's stomach dropped. Did he deny it? No point, probably. "Uh, Toki?"

Toki changed out of a wet t-shirt before reading over the messages on Skwisgaar's phone. "Hm."

"Does we say anyt'ing?"

Toki shrugged. "They don'ts got no problem, so whatsever. If you want to, you cans."

While Toki attempted to speed up Baldur's drying with a towel, Skwisgaar repositioned to lay on his stomach. 'We try not 2 make thing wierd. U wont ever c us do anything'

'Ya thanks'

'So u rly dont care'

'I was just gay for a couple months n it didnt feel any different so whatever'

Skwisgaar put his phone away with a shake of his head. Maybe Nathan didn't exactly understand the nuances of sexuality, but why would Skwisgaar argue? How did they all find out, anyway? He could comfortably assume they hadn't seen anything too intense, otherwise there would've been an intervention of sorts. What kind of clues did they leave behind? When did the others reach this conclusion?

"I thinks I going to leave him heres for a bits," Toki stated when he came out of the bathroom. "His undercoat doesn'ts dry very fast, so he keeps finding more water to shakes around."

Rather than go to the kitchen to find food, Toki ordered for something to be brought to Skwisgaar's room. They finished cleaning up from earlier, which meant a new set of bedding arriving from laundry. The klokateer in charge of making the bed remained casual as Skwisgaar and Toki stood beside and waited for him to finish. "There you are, my masters."

"I just notice somet'ing." Skwisgaar removed his clothes again when the room was free of their help. "You don'ts boss around the klokateers no more."

"I guess nots, huh? It don'ts really feel right no mores."

"How comes?"

"Probablies the same reason I don'ts fuck no one else."

Skwisgaar's ass felt okay enough to sit up, so long as he didn't shift very much, so he settled on the edge of the bed to practice guitar while they waited for their dinner to arrive. Toki watched a while, then fetched Baldur when he got bored. Their distractions went aside when a klokateer announced behind the locked door that they'd received a tray from the kitchens.

Despite their nocturnal sleeping schedules, Skwisgaar could hardly keep his eyes open through the meal. Toki took his dishes to set beside the metronome and joined him under the covers. A deep sigh washed down his chest as result. "I will says dat it ams real goods to have you here."

"Was a good idea to gets rid of that stupids rule." Toki rubbed his back. "I never says this before, since it mights has made us weird about whether or not we sleeps in each other bed, but I reallies like to sleeps next to someone. Is a comforts to me."

"I used to nots care for it, you knows, people beings up against you and makings you hot and all dat, but. . .dis ams different."

No matter how tired, Skwisgaar laid awake long enough for Toki's breath to slow and even out. He still couldn't figure out what happened to him earlier, but in the wake of it all he felt like an entirely different person. As if Toki erased all the fingerprints from fifteen years of other people touching his body, as if he hadn't fractured himself with help of thousands of sluts. Was this how it felt to be whole again? Strange. . .

The sun had yet to even think about touching Mordhaus when he woke up. With a yawn, he readjusted against the other man. Only when he closed his eyes again did he realize Toki pet his hair. "What times am it?"

"Four or fives, I think."

If that were the case, Skwisgaar didn't much feel like going right back to sleep. Nor did he want to get up. The most he did was shift further up the bed and let his eyes adjust to at least see Toki's silhouette. A hand on his shoulder helped guide him when he leaned in.

With no motive or end-game in mind, their affection unfurled only as it was meant to. Toki caught his lips again when Skwisgaar assumed he'd had enough, and then fervency wound up with his hair further knotted. Toki couldn't figure out where to lay his hands; the sentiment was returned. The magnetism that brought them first into each other's lives, then each other's beds, birthed a deep yearning in Skwisgaar. It was more than physical need—more than sexual need—that led to him tugging on Toki's shoulder.

Everyone Skwisgaar ever slept with before, from his awkward fumbling as a thirteen year old up until the last slut, seemed only like practice for the moment at hand. And yet, when in his life had a man ever laid between his legs and carried the connotation of just how much he was worth? It didn't matter that he and Toki never approached it like this before. All that mattered was the pulse of breath and press of swollen lips to anything they came into contact with.

The lid on the lube bottle snapping open brought them back to their senses. Toki studied Skwisgaar in the moonlight, questioning him, but his gaze softened when fingertips ran down his arm. "Kan du känna att jag hör bara till dig?"

"Din hjerte?" A nod bumped their noses before Toki snuck another quick kiss. "Jeg er helt med deg ogsa."

Skwisgaar's lips fell apart when a need to accommodate Toki shifted his hips, then pale blue eyes cracked open again as their bodies settled together. It was just them—no play, no toys, no variance in power. While this would've been unsettling before the winter, they'd led themselves here. The shock of it in relation to their history forced the chance to take it all in before they could go any further. Skwisgaar mapped out the other man's back, every ridge and rise separated by muscled smoothness, as Toki chased the ghosts of the first marks he ever left on the body beneath him. His tenderness along with a collaborative shift of their bodies faded Skwisgaar's smile into an expression more indicative of hot blood coursing through his inner thighs.

Skwisgaar gently blew on the heated skin of Toki's neck afterward, holding his hair aside. Toki's cheek pulled back where it rested on Skwisgaar's shoulder, indicating a lazy grin. "I gots all of you, you said?"

"Uh huh." Was it love? Skwisgaar didn't know. He could tell Toki that he harboured something like that, but it seemed cheap. Not enough. With no words or combination thereof possible to properly express himself, Skwisgaar began composing a song as his fingers twirled through Toki's hair. Probably his solo, for whenever their next show came up.

Skwisgaar pulled the blanket up over his waist as Toki collapsed beside him. Hair clung to his forehead and now that his ass touched the bed again it smarted. He rolled onto his side at the same time that clouds moved past the moon again. Toki gazed at him intently, chewing the inside of his mouth.

"Can I tells you something?"

"Shore."

"Is pretties much ancient histories by now, but I knows you guys was on edge when you gets me home. You didn'ts think I coulds be as okay as I saids I was."

Skwisgaar slowly nodded. Plenty of hushed conversations were held whenever Toki went off for psychological evaluation or a doctor's visit, and wouldn't let them hover along behind him. Did he hate their guts? Play calm because he was going to snap? Plan to kill them, or kill himself? Was he in shock?

"I hads worse happen to me in my lifes. I don'ts know if you ever feels this before—I hopes you hasn'ts—but when bad thing has happens to you, you aren't scareds to die. You already face death, you know what it look like. Is just a thing what goings to happen to you, no matters what you do, so you don'ts really care about it." Toki paused. "We all just animals at the ends of the day. We specks of dust what are only arounds for a littles bit of time. Sometimes we lucky enough to haves a good life, sometimes not so much. Toki didn'ts have a good life for a long time. Then it was goods and bad, goods because I was in you band, but bads because in my head I still lived in Norway. Thing got better, then. . .Magnus. But this?"

Toki rested a hand on Skwisgaar's hip. "I woulds has never seen it comings. But thanks you. I hopes you understand how bigs a deal this is for me. There's a lots here I can'ts put word to, but that I cans. Thanks you."

"I owes you dat too." Skwisgaar's nails scratched lightly at Toki's abdomen. "And I'm sorry—"

Toki shushed him. "I knows, Skwis. You mades that clear last year. But is behinds us now. I brings it up just because I's grateful for you. You beens a good friend."

Skwisgaar had no idea how to articulate what he wanted to say, never having been good with words to start with. He made a couple false starts, then sighed in defeat. "Sorry."

Arms tightened around him. "You tells me more with you body than you ever coulds with you mouth. So don'ts worry about it. I knows."