Plot happens next chap! I'm just explaining shit here. Big authors' note. If you hate that shit, go to chap two. If you want to know what the hell we are doing, read on.

Darkmoonrise312: Greetings internet! The Darkmoon is here once again to bring y'all an amazing piece of fanfic art! And joining me today is my better half, thetimewalker2237!

Thetimewalker2237: Hey everybody! Good to be back on fanfic, even if it's not my own account. Hey, wait a minute! What do you mean by better half?

Darkmoonrise312: You know exactly what I mean, my little timey-wimey

Thetimewalker2237: You had better not-

Darkmoonrise312: ...wibbly wobbly.

Thetimewalker2237: I was going to say insinuate we are a gay couple, but yes, you had also better not make bad pet names from Doctor Who lines.

Darkmoonrise312: Aw come on man! You know you want me.

Thetimewalker2237: *glares* Aaaannyway, aren't you gonna talk about what we're doing here today?

Darkmoonrise312: Righteo. So, to y'all reading this, you've gotta have been around fanfic enough to know the worst parts about it right?

Thetimewalker2237: You mean the weird shipping, the AUs putting sci-fi characters in high school, and all the shitty erotica?

Darkmoonrise312: No. That stuff rocks! I'm talking about self-inserts!

Thetimewalker2237: Ah, yes, the bane of our existence!

Darkmoonrise312: Well, not all the time. Sure, most of the time you just end up with a horrid Mary Sue character that winds up in some weird love triangle with the protagonist, but that's just when they try to take it seriously.

Thetimewalker2237: So far, any good self-insert we've seen has been making fun of it. Apparently, parodies can be higher qualities than the original.

Darkmoonrise312: *cough* 50 Shades of Gray */cough* But yeah, that's what we are gonna do. We are gonna fuck with the self-insert genre, and hopefully make you laugh in the progress.

Thetimewalker2237: Because we write to make you laugh. And sometimes for you to fap. We're to have fun.

Darkmoonrise312: And hopefully write ourselves into a lemon with one of those hot chicks in team RWBY!

Thetimewalker2237: You are always thinking with your lower brain, aren't you?

Darkmoonrise312: Well that is pretty much what I am, your dark side. And the only sins you got is a porn addiction!

Thetimewalker2237: Would you fucking shut up about that!

Darkmoonrise312: No. This place needs a reminder of how fucked up I am.

Thetimewalker2237: Anyway, since what we've written is a bit unconventional, and the fact this is the internet, we thought we'd explain a bit.

Darkmoonrise312: Through the use of answering anticipate troll questions! It's a Q&A, from the FUTURE!

Trollcommenter4: What is going on here? There were two authors, why is there only one guy? What is with the crazy bold voices!?

Thetimewalker2237: Guess why need to explain some backstory, since you clearly don't get it. We-

Darkmoonrise312: Split personality disorder! I live in his head, and fuck with his life if I can.

Thetimewalker2237: At least he's trying to make the internet think so. It's a long complicated story, but basically he hacked my account so often that we start saying he was my alter ego, and the legend just kinda developed.

Darkmoonrise312: No, I seriously exist in his head. Just a figment of imagination. But whatever reality is real aside, as far as story, it's Dissociative Identity Disorder, but we talk to each other, in head communication.

Thenamewithwaytoomanywordsinit985: What's with the other OC? Where are the canon characters?! You messing with the cannon, man. Why is their no White Rose?!

Darkmoonrise312: The Temperance serves three purposes. One, to save our lives, and two, so we can have a weapon on par with all the "cause why the fuck not" logic weaponry of the universe, and three, give us some connection to the Beacon. And he might possibly have kids. If too many complaints about OCs, no more OCs. If not, he's gonna have fire and ice twins going to Beacon. We stopped before we got to main story and canon characters because, well, time. And really, pinkshipping? Weiss is not tsundere, she's a prick!

Anonymous: getting abducted by transdimensional robots? Yeah right. White Fang doesn't even use robots.

Thetimewalker2237: We wanted to fix the one problem most self-inserts have: you have no fucking clue how they got there. We just put in a plot reason for transdimensional shenanigans. Plus, robots!

Didntsigninjust2troll: What? You gave yourself superpowers?! UNSUBSCRB!

Darkmoonrise312: Have you watched RWBY? Physics don't work. We thought the sci-fi explanation of low gravity on Vytal (or whatever the planet's called) could explain some of the physics breaks. And using that, if we come in from high gravity, well, think John Carter. Plus, it isn't superpower there. This barely gives us enough to counter anybody at that school. They have superpowers, err, semblances, we just get a little boost to near their level.

Selfinsertnamehere: WHAT IS WITH THIS SUPERLONG AUTHORS NOTE1 AND WHENS THENEXT CHAP!

Thetimewalker2237: We didn't want to break the flow of the story with author's note before and after chaps like we norm do, so we thought just throw it all in the beginning. And we work on this cause its fun, so we don't really have a schedule-

Darkmoonrise312: Come on, the time-walker is working on this! If you know anything about this guy, you'll be lucky to see chapter two this year!

Thetimewalker2237: Shut the fuck up, Darkmoon.

Darkmoonrise312: It's true; he hasn't updated anything that I wasn't helping with since 2012. But I think that's enough talking. STORY TIME!

Thetimewalker2237: We hope you enjoy the story. We sure enjoyed writing it.

Darkmoonrise312: So go down and click the next chap button and read, review favorite, follow and all that good stuff. READ ONWARD GOOD SIR!

Thetimewalker2237: ...and/or madam.