She had lost the love of her life, but had she really?

Panama

The nights were torture. Unbearable. During the day was doable; Sara had company and listened to the conversation of others. What LJ wanted for dinner. How much Sofia loved the little house on the beach. Lincoln's unspoken words, just an array of facial expressions. But nighttime was a whole other matter. Plunged into darkness, Sara saw his face each time she closed her eyes. It bore into her soul like a hot iron rod, the pain too much to bear. The only sound she heard every night, apart from her own muffled sobs, were the waves crashing; even through the waves she could hear Michael's voice. "I love you, Sara."

It had been exactly 8 weeks since it all happened. 8 weeks since Michael broke Sara out of Miami Dade; 8 weeks since Michael died saving her life; 8 weeks since her heart shattered. It was not getting any easier. If anything, every day seemed longer, more painful, more agonizingly difficult to get through.

Lincoln's heart was also broken, but he had done a better job of hiding it than his grieving sister-in-law. He'd promised Michael he'd do absolutely everything in his power to take care of Sara, and her unborn child, the child Michael would never meet. And he would keep his promise until he took his last breath. After all, Michael saved his life, more than once, and he would do anything, anything in the world to repay him. But he was gone. Lincoln didn't cry. He never cried. Instead he disconnected from the world at night, when Sofia was sound asleep beside him and when his son, his precious son, was dead to the world. Of course, he heard Sara's cries, each and every night. He heard her heart breaking and he heard her anger and upset. He also heard her being sick every night, a combination of pregnancy and crying so hard for so long. He often thought about going in to comfort her, tell her it will get better, but he knew it would fall on deaf ears. Plus, Sara would never want anyone else's arms around her. Only Michael's, and he weren't coming back.

She struggled to eat, small mouthfuls at a time was usually all she could manage despite Sofia's growing concerns. "Your baby needs food," she'd tell Sara, placing plates of fresh cooked food in front of her, pleading with her to eat. One day last week Sara had had enough and after Sofia's non-stop pleading with food for over an hour, she picked up the plate of seafood spaghetti and threw it against the wall. No one said anything and Sara cleaned up the mess, in silence and went and sat on the beach for three hours, crying her eyes out and calling Michael's name.

Each time she felt there were no more tears to come, more came. If it wasn't for the tiny life growing inside her she was certain she would have ended her life and gone to join Michael in heaven. She felt incredibly selfish at times. As a doctor, she knew she was neglecting her body and that of her unborn child. She tried, she really did. But the life had been sucked out of her. She had loved Michael with everything she had. It scared her when she first felt the love towards him. It felt as though she was falling down a slippery slope, gathering speed at an alarming pace until CRASH. It all ended. And it did. The love of her life, her best friend, her soulmate. Taken from her because of herself. And she had to live with that for the rest of her life.

First chapter of this FanFic, my first attempt! Please let me know what you think!