Rain.

The bane of one Ranma Saotome's existence.

Or so he'd tell you. More accurately she'd tell you, since he was a girl at the moment because of said rain. Ranma was not even paying attention, though, because she was thinking back to when she'd beat Saffron. The reason is not as you might think. She was not moping because she'd had to kill him. No, she'd been there, done that already. She was doing some serious thinking about *how* she'd beat Saffron. For how could one fight a god and win, much less *survive*. It shouldn't have been possible. But she did. The problem was, near the end of the battle, Ranma had been completely dry of ki, looking inside himself for more strength. Saffron had a lot to spare so Ranma gave up looking inside himself, instead trying to draw out some of Saffron's ki. He didn't expect it to work as much as it did. Hell, he didn't expect it to work at all! But there he was, with a very large portion of Saffron's ki. That's when he knew he could win. But Saffron had put up a wall of fire around himself that was so hot, Ranma couldn't get through. Ranma had all but given up hope when Akane, in doll form, jumped through the fire, giving him a shot at defeating Saffron. So he poured as much of the power he got from Saffron as he could into one last attack: a super concentrated version of the hiryuu shoten ha. It blasted through the opening and hit Saffron right in the chest, the powerful tornado tearing him to shreds.

As the fire died down, Ranma saw Akane falling through the air from where he was standing. Her eyes were closed. With a burst of strength, Ranma shot up, grabbed her in his arms, and shot another concentrated hiryuu shoyen ha at the cold water tap, the top flipping around in the air to land sticking straight up, spraying both Akane and him. As Ranma dropped down to the ground, a now fully rehydrated Akane in her arms, she waited for Akane to open her eyes.

And you know the rest(or you *should*, if you read the manga[that's another thing: this fanfic is based on manga only, I don't watch the anime]): Akane wakes up, they go back to Japan, and the wedding attempt happened. The problem was, the power Ranma got from Saffron hadn't gone completely away yet, and had only grown stronger since then. Which is why Ranma was brooding about it now, five weeks after the failed wedding attempt, in the rain. Why couldn't she access the power anymore? Did it have to be in life or death situations? Or was the power going to take over her body and make her a phoenix? Or just make her another Saffron? 'No!' she thought, shaking her head. 'I'll never let that happen!' That didn't keep her from wondering about it, though. There seemed to be no end to her questions. Maybe she'd just ask the Old G- I mean Cologne. Yes, she'd do that the first chance she got. But first, she was going to stop by her home(she finally started considering it her home right after he beat Saffron) and get something to eat. She was starving!

Almost as an afterthought, she finally noticed she was female, in the rain, and had lots of guys under umbrellas staring at her chest. She just shrugged it off and kept walking, used to it. 'I really hope Akane didn't cook today,' Ranma thought, suddenly. Despite that threat, Ranma continued walking. Mostly because the chance of Kasumi cooking heavily outweighed the chance of Akane cooking, and she wouldn't miss Kasumi's cooking for the world.

As she walked through the door, Ranma yelled out the usual "I'm home!" and made her way to the dining room. "What's for dinner?" She called to Kasumi, who she assumed was in the kitchen, unaware of the future horror that would befall her for making her next statement. "I'm starving!"

"I'm glad to hear that Ranma," said a voice that should never belong in any kitchen. "A-Akane...," Ranma said, a look of horror crossing her face. Akane, of course pretended not to see it, trying very hard to hold her temper. And the food in place, if you can call food that can move, talk, and think for itself "food".

"Be sure to eat a lot Ranma!" Akane said with a smile. "I made this just for you!" Ranma tried to decline politely, but years of bad habits aren't lost in five weeks, so Ranma said something she really shouldn't have.

"There's no way I'm eating that slop!" Akane growled, trying to hold in her temper. "That was rather rude," the food told Ranma. Akane just ignored it, while Ranma just stared at it.

"It can talk. Akane, it's not supposed to talk. Or be able to move." Akane, thinking that an insult, just growled some more.

"Rude or not, she *is* right," the food supplied, sensing Akane's anger. That just made Akane angrier for some reason. At Ranma.

Thinking Ranma turned her own cooking against her, she malleted Ranma with her usual cry of "RANMA NO BAKA!". As the others-Soun, Genma, Nabiki, and Kasumi-came out from around a corner to see Ranma fly off, the food commented. "Was that really necessary?" Just as Nabiki was about to comment on the talking food, they all heard a very large *BOOOOOOOOOOOOM* coming from the direction Ranma flew off in.

- As Ranma was flying through the sky, she thought 'At least I don't have to eat the food now. But seriously, how did she get it to *talk*? If Ranma had been paying attention, she would have noticed-being almost as fast as it-a lightning strike coming right at her. And her reaction to this-if she had noticed-would have been, "Oh shit." Then the lightning struck her. If she could scream, she would have. But besides hurting, the lightning also did something very different, altering the power of Jusenkyo and Saffron's leftover powers, therefore doing something that would change Ranma's life forever.

- As the others back in the house looked out to where Ranma was struck, they could only see two streaks of black smoke leading down from the sky to a relatively close location, close together. They all gaped for a bit until the food said something that set them running(*all* of them).

"Dear God! She must have been split in half!"

As they arrived at the crash site, they noticed that a lot of people were crowding around two giant craters. They pushed past them all, looking from one crater to the next, trying to hide their shock.

In the left crater was the top half of Ranma, and in the right was the bottom half. They all reacted differently, Akane falling to her knees sobbing, Kasumi kneeling down to embrace her, sobs wracking her body as well, Nabiki-yes, *Nabiki*-showing tears in her eyes as well, Soun doing his best impression of a fountain, and Genma standing in complete and utter shock.

Then they heard the moaning.

They all looked back at the right crater to see Ranma's bottom half moving, shifting rubble that had previously buried his top half off of him. He wasn't wearing a shirt. Then they looked in the other to see a very female Ranma crawl out of her own rubble, covering her bottom half. Her shirt was big enough to protect her modesty. The food was right. Ranma had split in half! Just... not the way they had expected. Then they noticed the wings: female Ranma's water wings, and male Ranma's lightning wings.

A/N: This idea came to me, was revised several times in my head, and finally written down. So give me some feedback, is it good so far? Bad? Let me know in the comments. If you've got something bad to say, don't say it.