The Heart of Sherlock Holmes

John has always known that Sherlock Holmes could love.

Part 1

John has always known that Sherlock Holmes could love. It's not a very big secret, even though his old room mate seems to act like it is. Actions are louder than words after all and Sherlock is a man of action.

John could probably start a new blog dedicated to the ways that Sherlock shows affection, but he won't. That knowledge has to be earned.

His sociopathic ex-room mate does not come with an instruction manual. Though the doctor doubts that would ever be useful given Sherlock's ever changing behaviour. Bi-polar was his first impression… followed by Autistic. Much later, John gave up trying to pin a label. Nothing was ever going to fit properly.

So when Sherlock forcefully reminds his friend time and time again that he doesn't have friends, that he doesn't have it in him to be sentimental or loving. The doctor has to bite his tongue and refrain from rolling his eyes in a truly sherlockian fashion. Unfortunately (or fortunately, he can never decide) his wife doesn't share the same self-control and outwardly laughs at the detectives childish outbursts before patting him on the head in a motherly fashion.

John does have to make himself busy with tea when Sherlock huffs and storms into his room in a sulk.

Sherlock Holmes: The Giant Toddler.

There's another reason he's never written the brutal honesty about his friend, Sherlock would undoubtedly find out and proclaim war on him. It's not worth it seeing what he's like with Mycroft. The battles would be bloody and he values his peace far too much for that.

The one thing John has never been sure about though, in the many years he has known Sherlock, is the detectives feelings for Molly.

She's stronger than he gave her credit for. On his introduction to her, he's ashamed to admit that he initially though her to be meek and easily controlled. He had felt appalled at how easy it must be for both Moriarty and Sherlock to control her the way they do. The following Christmas, he had felt sorry for the cruel way in which his friend laid latched into her nerve and left it for all to see. In that moment John had realised how deep Sherlock's brutality could go.

Molly had surprised him then, in a small voice she had made Sherlock see the error in his ways. How his intelligence could destroy those that cared for him. She had awoken him to what so many others had failed to do. In that moment John had been in awe of her strength.

After the fall, John doesn't think of her as he did at the beginning. He would never imagine her to be that way any more. She's too important and too commanding of Sherlock, to let that initial impression stick. She makes him apologise, slaps him when he's gone beyond what even she deems expectable of him. She silences him with a look, a fleeting glance and he's quiet mid-insult.

John has never seen Sherlock do that with anyone. Not even his mother.

Lestrade is another matter. He's like a really awesome uncle, the one that you wish you could live with when you are a child.

He indulges Sherlock's thirst for knowledge. Allows him unprecedented access to crime scenes and listens to the Consultant Detective's rather unusual methods. He's a good friend who bails them out of jail for his stag do, but isn't above making them pay slightly for not including him. Greg is unusually acceptive of all of them for who they are, quirks and all, and doesn't judge. He even protects them other's who are not so understanding.

He can clearly see why Sherlock loves the man. Even if neither of them will ever admit it under duress.

After the Appledore incident, Sherlock is a changed man. John had worried that he would revert to his cold, hard-hearted days as coping mechanism for having his heart exposed to the world.

He had never been so wrong.

Sherlock is fiercely protective of everyone in his inner circle. He has Mycroft use his resources to watch them, has them followed everywhere and uses his own homeless network as a protection detail. John receives countless texts verifying his location and Mary has to talk him out of tagging the baby. John's urge to shoot him becomes increasingly justified until Molly goes missing.

At first everyone thinks it's an error. That someone has messed up somewhere in the network. Sherlock, in true character, rips through all the data to find the mistake. There isn't one. He then attacks Mycroft's people and sifts through them with devastating results. Mycroft has a mole, but they are not involved with Molly. Sherlock forces Lestrade to investigate his force and is enraged when nothing becomes of it than the usual. To placate him, Greg goes against protocol and gives him full access to all the evidence in Scotland Yard. They find nothing of use and Mary voices her concerns for their friends increasingly worrying behaviour.

John seriously considers letting Sherlock tag his child.

Its after Scotland Yard transfers Molly's case to another department and the months rack up that John wakes up the truth of who Molly is Sherlock. He feels rather silly that it has taken him so long to work it out and Mary squeezes his shoulders in a pacifying gesture.

Later as he forces Sherlock to eat something and to sleep for an hour in his chair, he promises his friend that they will find Molly. They won't give up, no matter what. That night Sherlock eats all of John's food as well as his own and sleeps for the rest of the night in bed.

The next day Sherlock retreats to his mind palace and starts again. He finds an error in his data store and disappears to Russia for two weeks.

Lestrade finally asks John about Sherlock and Molly, a week after the Consulting Detective dashes off to Asian continent. Mycroft overhears the question and reminds the older man that even Sherlock Holmes is prone to human error.

John reminds him that Moriarty swore to burn the heart out of Sherlock on their first meeting.

Mycroft joins his brother in Russia the next day.

To be continued...