i'm updating today in honor of dos coming out on dvd. i'm watching it right now and i was literally crying when it started coming on I WAS SO HAPPY

trigger warning: eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia)

Bilbo trembled as he prepared to get a bite taken out of his small body. His eyes were squeezed shut, not wanting the warg's sharp teeth to be the last thing he ever saw.

His pointy ears picked up a cry of anguish and he opened his eyes just in time to see Thorin thrust his sword into the warg's side.

The warg collapsed onto the ground only inches away from Bilbo's face. The hobbit gasped at being so close to the beast and tried to wiggle himself away from it.

Thorin was now involved in a sword fight with the orc. From his spot on the ground, Bilbo watched with wide, fearful eyes.

"Stay away from my hobbit!" Thorin roared as he fatally stabbed the orc in the chest, winning the sword fight.

He wasted no time running over to Bilbo and kneeling down on the ground next to him. "Have they injured you, my love?" His eyes tensely scanned the hobbit's body, searching for any sign of trauma.

"No! You saved me!" Bilbo squealed. He tried to throw his arms around the dwarf, but his face sank as they remained stubborn and still.

Thorin scooped the hobbit up into his arms and held him in a cradle position. "But of course. I would risk my life before I let any harm come upon you."

Still trembling from his ordeal, Bilbo managed a small smile. He lay limply in Thorin's arms as the dwarf started to run forward. The numb feeling in his limbs was bringing him great distress. He knew he needed food so that his body could make energy and... no. He quickly shook off those thoughts. He told himself there would be no eating, not today, not ever.

Thorin ventured into a part of the forest that was hidden by many trees.

"We're here," he announced.

"And why exactly are we here?" Bilbo looked up at the trees with confusion. "What about the orcs?"

"They're farther ahead. You will be safe here while I continue to fight them. I refuse to let you remain in the presence of orcs again."

"Your intentions are to leave me here alone?" Bilbo squeaked. "Please don't! I'm very afraid." He gave the dwarf cute puppy dog eyes.

"They will not find you here, I am sure of it," Thorin said as he delicately set the hobbit down onto his feet.

He gasped when he let go and Bilbo crumpled to the ground. He opened his mouth to speak, but Bilbo beat him to it.

"My foot has a horrid cramp," the hobbit lied. "I'm unable to stand on it." He groaned in agony a few times to make it convincing.

"The ideal solution is to stand up and walk on it," Thorin suggested.

"Nope. What works for me is to simply lay right here and not move at all." Bilbo didn't want him to find out the true reason for his fall.

Thorin simply shrugged. Bilbo tried once more to move his arms, and was delighted to find that they cooperated this time. They moved slowly and felt like they had weights attached to them, but at least they moved. He smiled to himself as he moved them back and forth.

"Perhaps I know of an alternate solution," Thorin spoke up eagerly. "A foot massage."

Bilbo stared up at him with a cute confused look. "You wish to massage my feet?"

"Yes. That's what one does when giving another a foot massage," Thorin smirked as he kneeled down near Bilbo. "Show me your aching foot."

Bilbo sat up and, much to his relief, was able to move his legs out in front of him. It took effort to move his foot over towards the dwarf, but he managed.

Thorin grabbed hold of the hairy foot. "Where's your cramp?"

"Um... in the middle, I suppose."

Thorin moved his hands to the middle of the hobbit's foot and began to gently massage the bottom of it.

"Oh, that feels amazing!" Bilbo threw his head back and moaned. "I was unaware that you were skilled at massaging feet."

Thorin stifled a laugh at that reaction. "That's not the only thing I'm skilled at that can make you react in that manner," he winked.

"Yes, that I'm already quite aware of," Bilbo bit his lip as he stared at the dwarf.

Thorin started to move a hand up Bilbo's thigh.

"Oh my," Bilbo giggled. "What about the orcs?" He tried to look serious but he couldn't hide the smile growing on his face.

"I believe the company is quite capable of handling the orcs themselves," Thorin grinned as the hobbit began to blush slightly.

Bilbo looked down and his smile faded when he caught sight of his thighs. They seemed enormous to him. Frowning, he tried to figure out why he wasn't losing any weight even though he'd been starving himself for two days.

"Bilbo? Hello?"

Thorin's anxious voice snapped the hobbit out of his thoughts. Bilbo shook his head quickly as if trying to forget what he'd been thinking about.

"What is it?" Thorin eyed him curiously. "You appeared to be in deep thought."

"Just pondering about the orcs," Bilbo muttered. No longer wanting Thorin to touch his fat thighs, he pulled his legs up to himself and wrapped his arms around them.

The dwarf looked slightly disappointed but said nothing.

Bilbo took a deep breath, getting ready to ask a question he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to. "Do you recall earlier, when you carried me here?"

"It was only a short while ago, what do you think?"

Bilbo ignored his snappy response. "Was I... um..." he hesitated before looking up at the dwarf with hopeful eyes. "Was I lighter than usual?"

Thorin looked surprised at this. "Well, I did not really take notice of that. I was more concerned with getting you away from the orcs safely."

"But you were supposed to notice!" Bilbo whined. "I was lighter, was I not?"

Thorin looked thoughtful for a few seconds. "Actually, no. I remember now. You were quite heavy."

"Hea... heavy?" Bilbo sputtered, staring at the dwarf in disbelief. "You just said I'm heavy. Certainly you do not mean that." He hoped Thorin had accidently used the wrong word and would correct himself.

"Indeed I do. I recall thinking that I could run quicker if you were not so heavy. I suspect that a certain hobbit has been sneaking snacks during the night." He grinned at Bilbo, unaware of the damage he was doing.

Bilbo felt like he'd just been stabbed in the heart, but even that would hurt less. The last thing that he ever wanted Thorin to call him was heavy. His lower lip trembled and he struggled not to burst into tears.

He glared angrily at the dwarf. How could the person that he loves the most be so cruel?

Thorin's smile vanished. "What? Have I angered you?"

"Um, yes! You hurt my feelings!" Bilbo was nearly screaming. "How dare you call me heavy?"

Thorin's eyes widened in surprise. "You asked..." he sounded unsure. "Did you want me to deceive you and say you were lighter? Fine, you were lighter."

Bilbo's heart sank. "Stop that," he hissed. He tried to blink back tears but couldn't stop one from falling down his cheek.

"Why have you been so moody in recent times?" Thorin asked as he wiped away the hobbit's tear.

"Doesn't matter," Bilbo muttered. He pulled his legs up closer to himself and sighed. He pictured Thorin kissing a different hobbit. A thin hobbit. Another tear rolled down his cheek.

"Certainly it matters!" Thorin insisted. "You were crying earlier and you're crying now. What has been troubling you?"

Bilbo shook his head slowly and sniffed. "You will not understand. Just go find the orcs. I'll be alright, I guess." He believed that Thorin couldn't truly care about a fat, disgusting hobbit like himself.

"Please do not cry. You may be heavy but that's no reason to cry."

"Stop saying that dreadful word!" Bilbo spat. He couldn't believe that Thorin had the nerve to call him heavy once again. He stood up and glowered at the dwarf. "You know what? I'm alright with being out here unaccompanied now." His voice shook saying the next phrase. "You can just go away."

Thorin's face fell. "I did not intend to hurt you, my love. I apologize for calling you... that word."

Pouting, Bilbo crossed his arms over his chest and said nothing. He didn't feel like forgiving the dwarf. He was fat and nothing Thorin could say would change that.

"You're not going to tell me what's wrong, I assume?"

Bilbo continued to glare at him.

"Okay. You stay here," Thorin sounded exasperated. "I will locate the rest of the company." He stood up and started to walk through the trees, away from the hobbit.

Bilbo watched him go with surprise. He didn't expect him to just leave like that. The voices in his head started telling him that Thorin hated him and was never coming back for him.

"Thorin, wait!" Bilbo's legs moved slowly as he tried to run through the forest to find the dwarf. "Come back! I forgive you." He came to a stop when he realized that he was moving too slow to catch up to Thorin.

He let out a woeful cry before tears started to fall from his eyes like a waterfall. Thorin left you all alone. He never wants to see you again, you ugly thing. Bilbo sat down in the dirt and stared out at the trees through teary eyes. It was beginning to get dark. Thorin is never coming back, you fat piece of shit. He curled up on the ground and sobbed loudly to try to drown out the voices. He held onto the tiny sliver of hope that Thorin would return for him.

reviews would make me happier than i already am while i watch dos. i would literally explode with happiness! c: