A/N: I don't think there's a more highly requested story than that of Noah asking Levi where babies come from. This is the chapter that gave me the most trouble and sleepless nights. I'm not happy with it, Levi seems OOC and the idea had so much potential but I'm at a loss for inspiration.

Innocence Lost

The first time that Noah had asked Levi where babies come from, a very long and awkward silence ensued in which Levi had disturbing flashbacks of the day Noah was born. He should not have tried to be brave and look directly at the 'miracle of birth'. Instead he should have guessed from the crying, the screaming and the insanely tight grip his wife had on his arm that it would not be a pretty sight down there. So traumatised by memory was he that Levi completely forgot Noah was waiting for an answer until a tug at his leg drew his attention.

He could only gulp what little moisture he had in his mouth to relieve his suddenly dry throat and utter five wise words. 'You don't want to know'.

Unfortunately for Levi, Noah didn't take heed of this warning, rather he forgot about the topic until his friend, Michael, announced that he was going to have a baby sister.

The disappointment that Noah felt after realising his lack of understanding in the baby department made him seek out the renowned wisdom of his father, once again, to finally get to the bottom of things. Determined to come out of that room with more knowledge than he had gone in with, Noah bravely knocked on the door of his parent's room and sauntered in.

"Daddy, how do you make a baby? Michael says he's getting a baby sister soon and I want one too. How do I get one?"

It had taken a week for Levi to recover from the trauma of the last time they had this conversation. He had hoped it would remain the last time, but apparently the world had other plans for him.

To Levi's trained ears 'how to make a baby' was a different question to 'where babies come from'. It was a question he could much easily describe with the use of visual aids from the closest objects available to him at the time, which happened to be from his stationary holder. What proceeded was a two minute, graphic and entirely misleading interpretation of sexual intercourse to a four year old using a pencil and sharpener to represent human anatomy.

It was a miracle that Noah took away any form of knowledge from Levi's explanation, which he most certainly did as his amazement in stationary would suggest. When his mother questioned his constant sharpening of pencils, he replied that he was making a baby sibling as his father's description had implied.

It is immoral to want to hurt your husband for teaching your child crude, inappropriate and, quite frankly, an incorrect and violent interpretation of sex just to explain how babies were made. This is the mantra that Levi's wife had to repeat to herself in order to remain calm. She was a patient woman. Even as she dragged around a disgruntled Levi by the hand, while carrying a balloon in her other to the child she had told to wait patiently in his room.

Levi had been informed of what she would be doing and was told to refrain from adding commentary, but as she stuffed the balloon under his shirt he couldn't help ask why he had been given the role of pregnant woman.

"Because you're terrible at explaining things and are honoured with the job of being my beautiful assistant, who I recall promised not to talk during this presentation" she had remarked. Levi made no further attempts to protest, instead he let his wife explain – in a much too simple by his standard – account of where babies came from.

Noah was sorely disappointed to have clarified that he could not make his own sibling and would have to wait several decades and until marriage before he even thought about making his own baby. But he thanked God for his mother and mothers everywhere. If it weren't for them, people like Levi would be traumatizing generations of children with their demonstration of the reproductive system using pencils and sharpeners. Amen.

A/N: It feels really good to tick this one off the list. I know there are a few more that people requested which I started work on but am still struggling to finish. If and when I do, I'll try to put them up. For now this is as far as I can go. Thank you for staying this long, don't forget you can still PM me anytime if you'd like an ear to listen.