Characters are not mine ... only the story. I'm in desperate need of a beta ...

Idea based on a kinkmeme prompt from the ghostskinkmeme livejournal.

They found him. Finally found him.

Somewhere in the jungle, lying in a pit without moving. I was told to stand back. They didn't want me to see him yet. Thought it might be traumatic for me. I had already lost my father; another shocking view wouldn't do well to my mind apparently. How right they were.

He looked like … I don't know.

I almost lost grip on my weapon. His eyes were the only part of him I recognized as my brother. I was trembling: from fear for his life or joy of seeing him, or maybe anger, I didn't know. Even Merrick and Keegan were struck by the difference, wide-eyed and speechless. The ever so calm Keegan couldn't believe his eyes; certainly a bad replay of Ajax's death. Merrick's eyes, though he was a hardened man, softened marginally in disbelief. Now I understand how they broke Rorke. He looked so fragile, yet not thin; I knew they fed him poisonous food just like Rorke. Wouldn't want to kill such a good soldier I guess. How smart and thoughtful of them. They didn't even bother to heal his broken arm, those bastards.

I should have listened … I should have stayed away from the pit. But my brother needed me; even if it hurts me … I must stay by his side. I'm all he's got left.

Back to the base, Logan was done a full check-up. You never know what could have infected him. Other than that, a few serious bruises and cuts, minor blood loss, and traumatic injuries. But what I was more worried about wasn't the physical injuries.

It was the psychological damage.

First night was horrible. He screamed. I could hear it from my room, right to the infirmary.

"What the…" I stood up straight in my bed and stepped into the corridor, facing the direction of the sound. Other soldiers were also out of their beds, wondering what was happening. Including Merrick, who was already dashing down. "Merrick, what's going …" He cut me off before I could finish.

"It's your brother" He simply said, with a tone of urgency. He didn't object when I followed him. It took a while to reach the infirmary; I had to wonder how I managed to hear him from so far. Older brother instincts? Even Merrick seemed to know beforehand.

"Hold him down!" Some muffled voices came from behind the door. We burst onto the scene to find Logan writhing violently on the bed and screaming, held down by nurses and doctors. Keegan was there too, standing on the side, ready to intervene if necessary. "Keegan …" I asked him the implicit question while approaching him.

"Night terror" He raised his head and looked at me straight in the eye, as if to ground me to reality. Like he knew I was starting to lose it.

"Think it's trauma?" Merrick questioned, although he knew the answer. He too didn't want to believe it. No one did.

"Most certainly. They must have done something to him, to break him, or at least make him remember." Keegan answered quietly, shifting his gaze to the scene in front of us. I did too, watching. Logan still was unconscious; so he might have been dreaming back to something. The medical staff was now trying to strap him down, and preparing a sedative. A cold sweat broke over my skin, my hands became clammy. My heart sped up for some reason, and I became agitated.

Why? Why was I reacting this way? It was just normal procedure … so why did it feel like my insides were rearranging themselves? My mind going blank?

Why was I so scared?

Keegan noticed my change in behavior. "Hesh, you alright?" I didn't answer. I was feeling more and more out of it. Merrick turned at his voice and approached me.

"Hesh?" He put his hand on my shoulder and shook it. Keegan did the same. They exchanged a confused glance. They must have noticed my trembling, how my eyes were unfocused and glassy, the way my breathing quickened.

Suddenly, I fell back.

"Hesh? Hesh?" Through the fog and blankness of my mind, I heard my name being called several times.

"You ok, kid?" That must have been Merrick. I slowly came around, and noticed I wasn't standing anymore. Keegan was above me and staring, while Merrick, in a kneeling position, was holding my legs up.

"What happened?" I asked, completely disoriented. I tried to stand up, but Keegan's hand on my chest prevented me from doing so. "Where's Logan?" I asked when my mind caught up in abrupt realization.

"Calm down, kid. Logan's alright, he's been sedated." He reassured me calmly. His hand went to my shoulder, his deep blue eyes softening and conveying an unexpected kindness. "You, however, need to take it easy."

"Damn right. We don't want any of our soldiers passing out 'cause they were overstressing themselves" Merrick responded, quite harshly. But I knew better; he was worried, for both of us. Afeter all, we're the last thing left from our father; his commander.

"You should call it a night. Go back to bed and rest." Keegan advised me, while helping me to stand up, hands cercling my shoulders. "I understand how concerned you are, but don't shoulder everything yourself. Don't inflict that kind of pain on yourself, none of this is your fault. They wouldn't want that."

As he followed me to my room and made sure I got in bed, I couldn't help but think back to my brother, when he was abducted.

"What have they done to you?"

A week later, Logan was released by the medical staff.

But nights still weren't better. He was given some drugs to help him sleep, kept on a special diet, and away from any combat situations. That helped him on a physical aspect. But something was still bothering him that he wasn't telling.

I knew it by the way he always crawls in my bed late at night. Something he hasn't done for a very long time. My hate for the Federation intensified, if that was possible. My worry for my brother increased as well, if that was even possible.

One night was worse than the others. He told me what happened.

Like usual, he came in around midnight, when everybody was sound asleep. He crawled in quietly, and we stood back to back in silence. He didn't say anything at first.

"You alright?" I whispered quietly, as every other night. He didn't turn around. He never turned around. Always facing away from me since he was released. Even during lunch, he never once made eye contact with me, or anyone else. He remained distant and absent, as though a ghost of what he once has been.

"Logan?" I tried one more time, turning my head slightly his way. No answer. I was ready to give up for the night, when …

"Did you know?" His voice was small, almost inaudible. I sat up and looked at him.

"How long was I in there? I lost track of time on the 20th day. Or was it the 18th? I don't remember." I didn't dare talk.

"They set me on a routine. Wake up, feed me, torture me, feed me again, and put me back in the pit. Rorke was the one torturing me. He was always there. Always." He squeezed the blanket more.

"He played with my nerves, and my mind. He used anything that fell into his hands; his gun, his knife, the chair … he even tried to choke me with his bandana." He started trembling, voice wavering.

"Some nights were freezing cold. Raining so much water reached my knees. I had to remain standing to avoid drowning, even though I wanted to lie down. He often came by, to spite me and mock me." He buried his face into the pillow.

I was starting to feel helpless. I didn't know how to handle this kind of situation. It was always my dad, but now he's not here …

"You know what's worse? I hated you. I hated you for leaving me there for so long. I hated you for not helping me. I hated you for not stopping Rorke!" His voice grew louder, and shakier.

His words struck me down to the core. I could only stare at him, dumbfounded. Somewhere in my mind, I remembered the way his hand reached out to me, silently calling for me, for his brother, his family ... and I wasn't there to grab it.

"Logan, I tried to …" He stood up sharply.

"NO, YOU DINDN'T!" He screamed at me, facing me full on. "You abandoned me! You're supposed to be my brother, to defend me, and you …" His voice broke. A tear fell down his cheek. "You weren't there … David" Logan broke down in sobs.

Never have I been so shocked in my life. One thing I never wanted to see was my brother crying. It just never sits well with me. I always think it's my fault when it's not, except this time … it really is.

He may never forgive my betrayal.

I didn't really react when he fell into my arms, shrieking into my chest, not caring if someone might be alerted by those sounds. My shirt was starting to get damp, but who cares. He came back in pieces, which may never be found again. Rorke took a part of him that he kept as a trophy. I already lost my father, and now part of my brother was missing.

Another tear fell down. This time, it wasn't Logan's.

Somewhere near his room, Keegan and Merrick were sitting down noiselessly, glancing at each other in silent agreement. Soon, they'll disappear again into the shadows for an ultimate mission. As Ghosts.

Kind of sad, right ? Please review ?