"Somewhere, in another life, in another reality, you and I are married, and we have four kids, and we live in Vermont and I'm the mayor and ...you make jam...".
What if Scandal were a 1980s-style family situation comedy, rather than a drama?
The text below is my script for the sit-com pilot. Have a look, and tell me if you think it should be optioned, or remain on the summer slush pile!
I don't own Scandal, which is the exclusive property and creative achievement of Shonda Rhimes and the talented writers of Shondaland.
As always, this author is grateful for all readers and comments, negative and positive.
Scene One: "He's My Frat Boy"
While theme music of Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell singing "You're All I Need to Get By" plays, the pilot episode titles open with a panning shot of a New England town on a sunny autumn afternoon.
This is Hallingford, Vermont; population, 150.000: a classic New England town with a mixed industrial and agrarian economic base; a local arts community (specialties are glass works and carpentry); a restaurant and artisan food services sector dependent upon a network of small farmers in the surrounding countryside; a local hospital, a local hotel, and "Vermont University," which boasts an applied arts program in interior decorating; a first-class liberal arts faculty; and a law school.
The camera speeds by the mixture of modern and Victorian homes that line Hallingford's streets, glowing with autumn foliage. While the music continues, the camera passes a number of local landmarks viewers will come to know: Hallingford's City Hall; Hallingford courthouse; the local police station; and Abby's Sweet Shop, a popular bakery/café/hangout.
As the names of various members of the cast are shown on screen, the camera continues past the most densely populated areas of the city, until it centers and circles upon a residence of unique, modern design a few miles outside the city. This, as we will see, is the home of Mayor Fitzgerald Grant III; his wife, Olivia Pope-Grant; and their four children: Nicole; Curtis; Kendrick; and Aleta. It is a house somewhat above the means of a couple who met, married, and started their family while they were still commuting between law and graduate school; but, as we will hear, the land was bought and built with a legacy left to Fitzgerald by his late mother, Martha Garrison, who came from an old, wealthy, California family.
As the music continues, the camera enters through wide glass sliding doors and fixes, briefly, on a series of pictures displayed on top of a living room piano, and in an inset bookshelf to the side of a fireplace along the right side of a large living room. The assembly of photographs furnish us with a history of the couple in pictures: Fitz and Olivia on their wedding day (Fitz in a suit and Olivia in a long, simple white dress, laughing together in front of an uncut wedding cake); a picture of a somewhat younger Fitz in an U.S. Navy Uniform; Olivia, hugely pregnant, in her graduation robe from Georgetown Law School; Fitz in a Harvard Graduation robe, celebrating the day he received his PhD/JD at Harvard Law School and the Harvard Department of Government—in this photo, Fitz has one arm around Olivia, who is holding their eldest daughter, Nicole Martha, who was about a year old at the time; a picture of Fitz and Olivia in front of the Capitol Building in Washington,D.C., standing with Nicole, now about ten, and their twin boys, Curtis William and Kendall Elijah, when the boys were about three years old; a more recent, Christmas picture of Fitz and Olivia in front of the fireplace in the house the camera has led us to, with Nicole, now fifteen; Kendall and Curtis, now eight; and their youngest daughter, five- year old Aleta Maya; a picture of Fitz in a framed newspaper clipping, heralding "Hallingford's newest mayor!", and finally, a picture of Fitz and Olivia seated at a restaurant table beneath a group of balloons that read "Happy Anniversary," and "15 years!"
The camera pulls back to survey the living room, which is sunny, illuminated by large sliding glass doors that lead out onto a patio and a huge lawn on one side of the room, while the room itself, which has a high, triangular ceiling, is furnished with a mixture of Arts and Crafts and more contemporary pieces. There is the aforementioned grand piano; a large family sofa; two comfortable armchairs, one a classic nineteenth-century chair, the other a more modern square chair with deep cushions. In front of the sofa is a coffee table with newspapers and books scattered across it. The floors are hardwood, with a large carpet with a Native American pattern on the floor closer to the fireplace and the back sliding doors. Across from the fireplace and the furniture arrangement is a dining table, with an ornate cabinet for dishes, and, in the corner adjoining the sliding door, a computer work station.
On the other side of the first floor, receding behind the fireplace and the bookcase to the right, there is a stone and wood staircase going upstairs. The staircase leads to a balcony hallway off which are bedroom doors for the children and a master bedroom above the front door. There are long shelves of books along the hallway between the staircase and the fire-place mid-stage right. The front door is to the far right of the bookshelves and the staircase.
Off stage left, beyond the dining table, is the entrance to a dazzlingly white and silver kitchen, with a large round table, and windows looking out into an adjoining greenhouse over a sink. There is a marble countertop, and a state-of –the-art stove and refrigerator visible back stage left center.
As the music fades, we see that a flat-screen television on a rolling cart has been moved forward from the left side of the fireplace to accommodate the viewing of a little girl, who is sitting against one arm of the sofa nearly drowned by surrounding sofa cushions as she stares at the television in rapt attention.
This is five year old Aleta Maya Grant, and she is watching "Sesame Street" on a Friday afternoon in mid-October, after her fourth full week of kindergarten.
Arranged across the nearby dining table are various textbooks, notebooks, and a large, empty, plastic bowl. The owners of the notebooks and textbooks, eight-year-old Kendall Elijah Grant, and his fraternal twin brother, bespectacled Curtis William Grant, are standing against the sliding glass doors, their noses pressed against the glass; their eyes glued to the outside lawn as they stare in fascination at Huck Finn, recently hired as the new gardener and manager of the Pope-Grant property. Huck is mowing the lawn.
The camera shifts upstairs to show Olivia Carolyn Grant Pope-Grant walking briskly along the balcony as she observes her sons' absence from the table below. We see her come quickly down the stairs leading into the corridor stage right that leads to the living room, wearing a pair of tight jeans, and a large man's shirt, her hair tied back in a bun.
As Olivia enters the living room, she is in scolding, management mode, focused upon the challenge of keeping her two sons on task:
OLIVA
Kendall Elijah! Curtis William! Let Mr. Finn do his job! You are doing your homework!
Don't let me catch you leaning against that window again until you've shown me those math problems!
The boys scramble away from the window and dash back to the dining table to return to their despised math homework.
OLIVIA:
Olivia gives her sons a wry look as she walks over to the table where her sons are now sitting obediently, and picks up the large empty plastic bowl:
Would another round of popcorn ease the pain of finishing your Mathematics homework?
KENDALL:
Yes, Please, Mom!
CURTIS:
Yes, Please, Mom!
OLIVIA:
All right then, gentlemen; coming right up.
With plastic bowl in hand, Olivia walks toward the sofa and peers down at Aleta, smiling at her daughter. She gestures to an empty plate on the coffee table near where her daughter is sitting.
OLIVIA
Can you hand me that plate, sweetie?
Aleta, barely tearing her eyes from the television set, leans forward and takes up a plastic plate with a Minnie Mouse pattern and hands it back to her mother.
OLIVIA
Thank you so much, sweet pea! Do you want anything else?
ALETA
In a commanding tone
MORE APPLE SLICES!
OLIVIA
Eyeing her daughter sternly
Would you care to rephrase that?
ALETA
More meekly
May I have more apple slices, Mommy?
OLIVIA
In an approving tone
That's better!
Olivia sighs
You can have a few more, Honey, but not too many...I have to save them for the apple butter I'm making for Sunday's country fair...
Olivia takes the plate and the plastic bowl and walks toward the kitchen, muttering under her breath:
Why I agreed to do this I do. not. know...
We see Olivia enter the palatial kitchen, where she takes a bag of popcorn from a cupboard, places the package inside a microwave machine, and pushes buttons. Next, Olivia walks toward the stove, where there is huge pot of cut apples soaking in water. Olivia picks up a ladle by the side of the pot, and is about scoop a few more cut apples onto her daughter's plate when a cellular telephone lying on the kitchen counter vibrates and rings.
Olivia puts down the ladle and walks over to look at the number on the phone. She smiles gently at the telephone, presses the call button and puts the phone to her ear.
OLIVIA
Hi.
The camera now slices to Olivia's husband, Fitzgerald Grant III, who is in his Mayor's office, a white neo-colonial room with a large desk, mostly-uncomfortable classic furnishings, and white walls and ceilings. Fitz is sitting behind his desk, surrounded by papers.
FITZGERALD
Hi.
OLIVIA
Why did you call?
FITZGERALD
He leans back, settling comfortably into his office chair, and puts his feet up on his desk.
Can't a man call his wife in the middle of the day?
OLIVIA
You are hovering.
FITZGERALD
I am not hovering.
OLIVIA
Sighing, and placing her tongue firmly in her cheek.
O.K. You are not hovering.
She pauses, significantly.
It's just a coincidence that a police car has driven by our house three times in the last hour.
FITZGERALD
A bit petulantly, and defensively
I just want to make sure that you are safe….
OLIVIA
In a scolding tone
Fitz! We agreed that if you were going to promote this "Second Chance" Program , the mayor's family had to set an example-we had to lead the way by hiring someone who had been in prison to work in our home, too! So Huck is here for the third day in a row, and he's outside mowing the lawn, and everything is fine…
FITZGERALD
He is still defensive
I'm sure everything is fine, but…
OLIVIA
In full-frontal, forceful idealist mode
But what? It's not going to help this poor man make a transition to life outside of prison if he can see Captain Ballard's "boys" driving by to check up on him every twenty minutes…He's going to know you don't trust him, and that will entirely defeat the purpose of this program…
FITZGERALD
Lamely
But…I just wanted to make sure…pauses …
OLIVIA
Scolding
We are supposed to be setting an example!
FITZGERALD
Attempting to defend himself against his wife's disapproval
I asked Cyrus to check Huck's record with the Vermont Department of Corrections…He's got a Federal rap sheet, Livvie, as well as state offenses…He used to be a….
OLIVIA
Interrupting him
Fitz! Don't tell me what he did! I don't want to know…
We see Fitzgerald furrowing his brow. He decides to take a different tack.
FITZGERALD
How is Huck getting along with the children?
OLIVIA
She looks out the window as she speaks on the phone and smiles
Well… the twins worship the ground he walks on.
FITZGERALD
Guffaws and then smiles indulgently.
Really?
OLIVIA
Really. They are fascinated by his gardening equipment. They keep running over to the window to watch him work. Smiles ruefully into the phone. I had to shoo them away twice because they haven't finished their homework and they got home from school an hour ago. I'm going to need to check on them again shortly….
Pauses and shouts
YOU BOYS BETTER BE DOING THOSE MATH PROBLEMS IF YOU WANT MORE POPCORN!
FITZGERALD
Laughs
They are just fascinated by anything that whirrs and slices.
OLIVIA
Retorts
Well, that may be true, but they also like Huck. He's quiet. He's intrepid. They think he's wise and mysterious.
FITZGERALD
Smiling
I don't think they are far wrong about that. And Aleta?
OLIVIA
Aleta adores Huck, too…He started out by trimming the hedges around the orchard earlier this afternoon. She trailed him around as soon as she got home from kindergarten, picking rotten apples off the ground, and holding them up to show him.
Grimaces
I had to change her clothes. They were completely filthy by the time I got her inside, and she came in tracking dirt and apple juice all over the living room.
FITZGERALD
Laughing
So the only one of our children who hasn't lost their heart to Huck is Nicole…
OLIVIA
Snorts.
Your eldest daughter isn't interested in anything that doesn't have a designer label.
FITZGERALD
Laughing
She takes after her mother!
OLIVIA
Looking mildly offended
Excuse me? I haven't worn designer clothes since I gave up my law practice.
There is a look of sadness on her face, that she is clearly trying to make light of so that Fitz won't notice
My fashion sense is…on hiatus.
FITZGERALD
Smiling suggestively
Really? His voice lowers to a more intimate tone.
What are you wearing?
OLIVIA
Smiling as she scolds again
Fitz! We are not doing this with your children in the next room…your youngest daughter is watching Sesame Street!
FITZGERALD
There's a wall between you and them, isn't there?
OLIVIA
They are all in the living room, waiting for me to return with snacks….
FITZGERALD
If the boys are doing their homework, and Aleta is watching Sesame Street, she's not paying attention to what you say on the phone…
OLIVIA
Reproving her husband sternly..
If your daughter is watching Sesame Street, she's way too young to overhear me describing my underwear….and Kendall might be oblivious but we both know Curtis misses nothing…
FITZGERALD
He is teasingly disappointed but smiles into the phone as he presses for a rain check:
Will you describe it later?
OLIVIA
Shaking her head and laughing; she has long since given up
If you behave yourself, Mister, maybe you'll see it later…I'm hanging up, now…
FITZGERALD
I love you.
OLIVIA
I love you, too.
Olivia puts down the phone, removes the popcorn bag from the microwave, and empties its contents into the large plastic bowl, which she brings outside and places in the center of the table. Kendall and Curtis have been sneaking looks out the window, but quickly bring their eyes back to their books as soon as their mother enters the room. The shift in their attention is not lost on Olivia, who gives them a sharp, firm look.
Olivia then returns to the kitchen to retrieve the promised plate of apple slices for Aleta when the phone rings again.
OLIVIA
Picking up the phone, smiling, without checking the number
I told you you could see it later, Mister!
The camera now slices to Dr. Elijah Pope, prominent professor of Shakespearean literature, former Dean at Harvard University, and current President of Vermont University. We see his head and upper torso positioned behind a larger wooden desk, against an oak-paneled office, lined with bookcases that is more ornate and opulent than the Mayor's office.
DR. POPE
Excuse me?
OLIVIA
Stumbling, embarrassed
Dad?
DR. POPE
With a sneer of condescension
Were you flirting with that second-generation longshoreman you married-again?
Olivia pauses for a moment as she pointedly does not answer the question. Elijah allows the silence to stretch a few more beats, and then continues
Your inexplicable attraction to that man never ceases to amaze me.
Olivia is visibly upset but struggles to maintain a calm demeanor on the telephone. This is an old argument which she is reluctant to have every time she is on the telephone with her father.
OLIVIA
In a tone of forced, cordial cheerfulness
How are you today, Dad?
DR. POPE
Olivia's father is not yet ready to change the subject
I send my daughter to the finest schools in the country, to institutions where her classmates would be the sons and daughters of kings; take her to Martha's Vineyard every summer…enroll her in Jack and Jill …I send her to Princeton! I send her to Georgetown law school! She graduates at the top of her class, ready to blaze trails in human rights legislation! You could be running your own NGO! You could be the first female secretary-general of the United Nations! You could be …a state senator or congresswoman….but no, what does my daughter do? He sneers. She marries a needy, second-rate, poor-little-rich-frat-boy who doesn't seem to know how to do anything but get her pregnant, and then trails him like a lemming to become a housewife in the middle of nowhere….
As Olivia listens to this, we see her face crumble, and then slowly recover. She has heard her father say all these things before, but they retain their power to hurt, each time.
Olivia has, nevertheless, taught herself to fight back, not by sinking to her father's level, but rather by keeping, whenever she can, to the high road, but taking up cudgels, on occasion, to put her father in his place.
OLIVIA
Gearing up for battle
Three, Dad, I'm not sure whether this is your way of declining or accepting our invitation to Thanksgiving dinner, but if that was an acceptance, I'd say it needed some editing;
Two, if we are in the middle of nowhere, you are right here with us—you're the one who decided to leave your job at Harvard to become President of Vermont University after Fitz and I moved up here….
ELIJAH
Interrupting her
I was making sure that the pernicious influence of the biological father of my grandchildren was minimized by contact with the better side of the family….
OLIVIA
Interrupting her father right back
One, Fitz may be a needy frat boy, but he's my frat boy…and I would be thanking my stars for that if I were you, Dad, because I can assure you (Olivia's voice rises) that Fitz was the only father any grandchildren of yours were ever going to have….
Challenging her father
Are you coming for Thanksgiving dinner or not?
DR. POPE
Stiffly; backing down a bit
I'll be there.
OLIVIA
Trying to soften her voice; she is still very angry, but she knows she has just won this round
I'm glad you'll be joining us, Dad.
Olivia pauses, and raises another sensitive topic
Will Mom be coming with you?
DR. POPE
Soberly now, without the smugness in his earlier tone
I can't say. Your mother is still in New York.
OLIVIA
With some sympathy
I'm sorry Dad; I know you miss her. Have you heard from her at all?
DR. POPE:
Not exactly.
Dr. Pope can't repress a sigh; he is humiliated by this situation, but not quite as ready to discuss it as Olivia is. After struggling with some hesitation, he brings himself to give his daughter the news. This is actually why he called; and why he was lighting into her with such venom as their conversation began.
Gruffly, in a low voice.
I heard from your mother's attorney this morning.
He pauses; swallows hard.
Your mother has sent me divorce papers.
Olivia is very still, frozen with shock.
OLIVIA
Her natural sympathy flows forth for her father, difficult as he is:
Oh Daddy, I'm so very sorry.
DR. POPE
He is very deliberately changing the subject.
What should I bring on Thanksgiving Day?
OLIVIA
Trying to tolerate her father's unwillingness to talk
A bottle or two of wine would be lovely.
DR. POPE
I'll bring a good Chianti—something your husband probably won't appreciate and can't afford on a mayor's salary.
OLIVIA
She is telling herself to be patient
You forget that we can make our own wine here, Dad. But that would be great.
DR. POPE
Who else is coming on Thanksgiving?
OLIVIA
Closing her eyes for a moment to concentrate
Let's see: David and Abby—you've met them, he's the local D.A, and she runs that cake-and-coffee shop on Main Street? Judge Beene—you remember him? He was Fitz's professor at Harvard, and then taught me at Georgetown before he came up here? Cyrus's partner James—you know, the editor of the local newspaper?—and their little girl, Ella; Huck Finn, our new gardener….
DR. POPE
Dropping a deliberate bomb
So you aren't inviting Mellie Randolph?
OLIVIA
This stops her cold in her tracks. She stutters as she responds
Mel…Mellie Randolph? Why would we invite Mellie Randolph to Thanksgiving dinner?
Olivia swallows hard
Last I heard, she was in South Carolina, running her father's food company?
Olivia pauses; she does not know what to think
Why would Mellie Randolph be in Hallingford for Thanksgiving?
DR. POPE
Clearly relishing the opportunity to stir up trouble; misery, after all, prefers company.
Because Randolph Confections is opening a jam factory in Hallingford.
Olivia is silent; stunned.
Why, didn't you know?
This is going even better than Dr. Pope planned; he presses on with enthusiasm.
Didn't your oh-so-devoted husband—excuse me, your precious 'Frat boy'- tell you?
Dr. Pope dives into the silence, twisting the knife a bit
I would have thought he would have told you about the gala —the student symphony orchestra will be giving a concert in honor of Mellie Randolph next month, and the Hallingford Chamber of Commerce is hosting a banquet for her at the Faculty House right before…since it's all happening on campus, I'll be there representing the University, but you and Fitz will also have to attend, as Mayor and First Lady of Hallingford…
…unless you were planning to skip it, perhaps?
He smiles a bit maliciously and oozes a little condescending concern
Perhaps you'll need to stay home with the children if you can't find a babysitter….
OLIVIA
Cutting her father off in a businesslike tone that is a bit too bright to be genuine
I'm sure Fitz was going to tell me, and just hadn't gotten around to it yet, Dad.
Swallows hard
And I'm sure Fitz and I can handle the logistics….
Olivia is plainly agitated, and doesn't want her father to know how seriously this news has rattled her
I have to go, Dad—I need to give the children their snacks, and make sure the boys are actually working on their math homework. We can talk another time, OK?
DR. POPE
In a business-like tone; his work is done.
Of course. Goodbye, Olivia.
OLIVIA
Goodbye, Dad.
Olivia ends the phone call, and stares at her cellular phone. Close up on her face, looking greatly perturbed.
Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**Commercial**Camera Click**
Author's Note: I never could quite figure out how Fitz managed to earn a PhD and a law degree, but it turns out, if one visits the website of Harvard University, that there is, actually, a joint degree program that would link the two, so that's how I've decided Fitz could have both. I also looked at a variety of websites for towns in the state of Vermont in order to develop my concept of the fictional "Hallingford"—readers who are interested in further details are welcome to email me for references.
I want to thank the many talented writers on this website for their kind correspondence, particularly ScandalMania, who was especially encouraging and helpful as I was developing this piece; CorinneStark; torri oats; and MzMocha. As an author on the "Scandal Gladiators" website indicated recently, whatever our many differing perspectives on Scandal, the best part of the show, surely, is the way it has brought together so many insightful and accomplished authors. I thank them all for their attention.