Guys! I'm so sorry! I know it's been a while! :( The reaction to my last chapter was just SO overwhelming I want to thank you so so much! I know it's not much compared to other fanfics, but it made me just so happy to see your reactions! I really appreciate that you took the time to leave a comment and that you like it and OMG YOU'RE SO AWESOME!

And then I decided (and I was encouraged by "Jester's Pet Oriole") to get a beta reader. I hope there's less mistakes now! (My author's notes however will stay unbeta-ed ;) ) I want to make that really good and I know I can't do it all on my own, but you should know that I'm trying very hard! And just for the case you still notice anything, please let me know so I can improve! :) (Currently only this and the first chapter have been beta-ed)

I hope you like the next chapter. I kind of love it when my main characters have to suffer. :P But no worries, there's still much plot lying ahead, haha ;)!

11.

The Car

So we lay in the dark
'Cause we've got nothing to say
Just the beating of hearts like two drums in the grey
Don't know what we're doing
Don't know what we've done

A week passed. It felt odd to Beth how quickly they had managed to create a new routine. She would sleep on the rear bench seats in the night and Daryl would take watch. Every now and then he would join her in the car, trying to take a short nap. In the morning she'd get on the driver's seat and travel wherever the road would lead her, and he'd sleep on the passenger's seat. She would only wake him when they came across a house or a farm that they would sweep in silent cooperation. They avoided cities or villages and Beth was glad they didn't meet any other people.

In the afternoon they usually stopped to prepare some dinner, go hunting or sometimes take some time to clean up themselves and their clothes. It was dull and unnerving and Beth hated it. They barely talked and Daryl acted cautious and awkward towards her.

The nights were constantly getting colder and sometimes she froze so hard she could barely suppress the chattering of her teeth. Those nights meant o sleep at all, but she was too proud to complain.

She tried to pretend that she wasn't actually as useless as she felt by practicing on her bow again. She noticed that she was starting to get better, but she was far away from being able to use it in any fighting or hunting context. Besides, she still limped from her twisted ankle. She tried to conceal it as good as possible, but it was a relief to travel by car.

Sometimes she hated herself for being so weak and sometimes she hated Daryl for being as he was. Still, she was desperately wishing to reconcile with him. She knew he hadn't meant what he'd said to her, yes, she was certain, but his words still stung in her heart. Sometimes she caught him staring at her and quickly lowering his gaze with a hurt puppy look on his face when he'd realize that she saw him. Those moments made her even madder because she knew he'd say something if he'd only find the right words and she was angry because he couldn't.

The anger and sadness in her formed to a heavy lump of emotions that she constantly carried around. She felt tired and exhausted, not only because of the lack of sleep, but because of the emotional overload she couldn't relieve. She tried to write in her notebook as often as possible to get everything out of her mind. The small black book soon became a kind of anchor point for her, and she was eager to consign her dark and desperate thoughts to the book. The lack of interpersonal relationships made her feel dizzy with emotions and she needed to get them out of her mind, on the one or the other way. Since she had only few options, scribbling in her notebook quickly became an obsession to her. She knew he felt uncomfortable when she sat there for hours and wouldn't stop writing, but she didn't feel like making any further attempt on getting back to him. If he wanted to talk to her she expected him to start. One night she wrote for such an excessive amount of time that Daryl became annoyed with her bowed head and the sound of the pencil scratching over the paper..

"What're ya actually writing th'whole time?" he asked and his annoyed tone made her smile angrily inside. Suddenly she felt the urge to make him really angry and was determined to push the boundaries. She didn't reply, but started to scribble more eagerly.

He watched her for a while and from the corner of her eyes she saw that he was furrowing his brows at her.

"Ay, I'm talkin' t'ya!" he snarled.

"Mind you own business," she snapped back but cheered innerly.

"Jeez, what a temper," he grumbled.

"Look who's talking" she said calmly, not looking up from her notebook.

"What's your problem?" he asked.

She had to fight her grin back, because she thought he deserved it. She knew it was childish, but she just couldn't help it; she wanted to get him mad as hell.

She closed her book with a snap and glared at him. He hold her stare, an annoyed and confused look on his face.

"So you wanna chat or what?" she asked snippy.

He just continued staring at her and looked bewildered and defiant at the same time.

"I'm going to bed," she snapped at him, got up and opened the door.

"Beth..." he sighed.

She raised her eyebrows.

"What?"

And again he stared at her, his face blank and she saw sadness dart from his eyes.

For a moment she regretted her snippy attitude and felt the urge to tell him it was alright and that she wasn't mad, but then she recalled their fight from a few days ago and her expression hardened. Be strong, she told herself. She wouldn't let him hurt her again. She collapsed on the rear seat and slammed the door shut.

When she lay down, she withdrew the book from her pocket and started to write again.

xxx

The dullness of their routine constantly lulled Beth, but after a while she thought that it wouldn't continue for long. A feeling started to grow in her that told her something was going to change. Since the outbreak, there had been very few constants in her life. People had been coming and going, places had been inhabited and abandoned, alliances had been formed and broken. But as bad as it had ever been, they had always managed to get a new start.

The situation they were currently in was by no means anything they could continue. It was as if a thunderstorm was rolling in the distance, and one could clearly hear it approach. The silence felt like an apprehension and Beth tried to prepare for the worst.

In the morning of the eighth day in the car her depression seemed to have faded a little bit. She didn't want to go back to how it had been two years ago. She wanted to live, and Daryl Dixon would either live with her or go to hell.

When she opened the trunk, she realized that their stocks were almost up and she turned around to face him.

"We need to do something," she said, trying to sound determined.

He glanced at her, then looked away quickly. She had the impression that he was writhing under her gaze, as if he was ashamed.

"Yeah," he agreed but remained still.

"I want to find my sister," she continued expecting him to snap a hostile reply at her, but he just peered in the distance and then nodded shortly.

She was baffled with his sudden agreement and knitted her brows.

"Maybe we can built up the prison again." she said, because she wanted to test his reaction.

He jerked his head around and stared at her in confusion.

"Are ye makin' fun of me?" he asked her and she thought he sounded like a sullen child.

"Little bit," she admitted biting back a grin. It gave her a certain satisfaction to upset him.

"Ain't funny at all," he said, but he didn't sound angry, but sad.

She sighed.

"I was just testing you," she told him.

He stared at her in bewilderment and she thought that this had made him angrier than her teasing. But he didn't respond to her provocation. He started to repack his bag and she suddenly felt sorry.

"Ok, look, I didn't mean... to offend you. But I was serious about Maggie."

"'Course you were," he mumbled.

"What you mean?" she asked and suddenly it was her part to be confused.

"Nothin'," he muttered and hefted his bag into the trunk. "We needa' go."

"So... what are we gonna do?" she said carefully, because she mistrusted his sudden determination.

"Find food."

"But what about..."

"Ye wanna find someone, ye needa' stay alive," he interrupted her and opened the passenger's door to get into the car. She rubbed her head in bafflement. She didn't get a bit of him, but if she wasn't totally wrong, his reaction seemed to be some kind of peace offering.

xxx

She had been driving slowly, and had checked her surroundings for hints on houses or gas stations carefully for a while, but she started to get tired. Her eyes burned and her stomach grumbled. They had cautiously organized their food supplies, which basically meant the two of them had eaten very few. Beth thought she'd almost forgotten how it felt to be full and she tried to distract her thoughts from food. She cast a glance towards the fuel gauge and bit her lip. Not only did they need to restock their food supplies, but they were running short on fuel as well.

She wanted to bang her head on the wheel in frustration. How should they ever be able to go about something when they were constantly running low on anything? She carefully glared at Daryl, but he had fallen asleep. She appreciated a lot, that he was ceaselessly taking watch during the nights but it wasn't a state that could continue. She decided that they should try to find places to stay for the night again instead of traveling randomly through the country. Maybe they could even find something like a safe spot to stay for a while, so they could organize the search for Maggie carefully.

She broke her thought when she realized they were approaching a bunch of cars that were parked on the street. She straightened up and felt a tension shift through her body. Those cars meant either danger, or the chance of finding supplies. She slowly approached the vehicles and realized that they must have been abandoned a while ago. They were dusty, most of the door were opened and garbage was shattered across the ground. Carefully, she guided the car around the location and tried to get an overview over the scenery. She stopped the car on the emergency lane and shook Daryl's shoulder to waken him.

He jerked up alertedly, but quickly grasped the situation.

They dropped out of the car in silence and started to rummage through the cars. Bodies, or rather parts of bodies were spread all across the place and Beth wondered what might have happened to them. She flinched when she almost stepped on the upper part of torso. It was half rotten and one could barely recognize the features of the face, but the head turned when she approached and it slowly raised a hand as if to salute her. She grabbed her knife and suddenly felt pity for the body. She didn't know what might have happened to that person, but she knew she didn't want to end up the same way. She pursed her lips, bent down and put the knife into the walker's head.

"You find somethin'?" Daryl asked when he saw her kneeling on the ground.

"No," she replied and got up. What a waste of time though, she thought. She went through the interior of one of the cars but she found nothing but garbage. When she opened the glovebox a small bottle with defroster fell into her hands. She considered to keep it for a moment, but then she couldn't imagine how it could be useful and put it back. It was frustrating, the cars had been looted already. The sudden mourning of a walker alarmed her and she spun around, her knife at the ready. It was approaching from the direction of their car and looked almost as rotten as the body Beth had found on the ground.

"I'll take care of this one," Daryl said and shot a bolt through the walker's head. He walked over to fetch the bolt from the body and Beth watched the treeline carefully. It was calm and she couldn't make out any movement, but she noticed that the place was almost too silent. She and Daryl exchanged a quick look, and formed a silent agreement to hurry up They returned to searching the cars, but Beth felt a titillation in her stomach that made her feel uncomfortable. Once again she surveyed the scenery, but couldn't make a threat out. She glanced over to Daryl who had found a rucksack and started to examine it.

Beth tried to open a locked trunk and rattled at it, but it remained closed. She murmured a curse and circled the car when suddenly the alarm went off. She was startled by the sound and looked at Daryl in panic.

"What did ya do, man?" he yelled over the noise.

"I... I don't know" she stammered.

"Fuck!" he said an grabbed the bag, tossed it to her and opened the hood to switch of the fuse. Beth turned around, to take watch, when she saw a group of several walker approach from the treeline right behind the car. It was as if they had disappeared out of nowhere, and quickly formed to a tremendous hive that had already spotted its next food source.

"Daryl!" she screamed and fumbled for her knife.

"Get in!" he told her and she headed for the driver's door. The alarm became silent and Daryl raised his crossbow. He shot a walker, circled the car and fought two others back by drawing his knife in their skulls. She watched the scene in panic but started the engine. She knew she must stay calm. She was responsible for his well being, too. Daryl jerked the door open, jumped in and she stepped on the gas.

The car darted off, knocking two walkers down and even though her vision went blurry, Beth tried to fix on the road. She took a few deep breaths and told herself to stay calm. You're just exhausted, she told herself. You're tired and hungry, but you can do that. Her hands were shaking, but her finger clung to the wheel. We're much faster than them, she told herself as she watched the walkers follow the car in the rear mirror. She had a task, she had an aim, and she wanted to complete it. Find Maggie. Stay save. She told herself.

Daryl turned around and watched the road behind them, but the walker's quickly disappeared out of sight.

"Damn it," he murmured.

"Sorry," she replied and her voice sounded hoarse and weak. She bit her lip and wished she hadn't said it. After all, none of this was her fault. But then again she had caused the situation that put their mission in jeopardy and no one else was to blame.

He looked at her for a while and she felt uncomfortable under his gaze. She wanted to tell him to look away, because his staring annoyed her and she didn't understand why he did it..

Finally from the corner of her eye, she saw that he was making an attempt to speak, but before he was able to raise his voice, a heavy jerk went through the car. She hadn't concentrated on the road for a moment, and she didn't know what happened, but it felt as if the vehicle catapulted in circles.

She screamed in panic and tried to retain the control over the wheel. For a moment that seemed like a lifetime she didn't know where she was or in which direction they were going. She tried to find the brakes, she tried to focus on a direction. The world only consisted of blurred lines and concept of gravity became very clear to hear. And when the rotation slowly diminished and she regained the feel for above and below, she realized that the scar had spun out of control because one of the tires had burst.

It took a few seconds for her to realign and she saw that the car had stopped in an odd angle on the road. She looked at Daryl who pressed a hand against his head and stared at her with wide eyes. The first thing to say to him that came into her mind was I told you to put on your seatbelt, and she thought that it was such a foolish thing to say, she suddenly felt the urge to giggle.

"You okay?" he asked and reality struck her. Was she okay? She looked down and checked her body for injuries, then moved her arms and legs and realized that her food had started to ache again, but then she nodded.

"You okay, too?" she said and realized that her voice was trembling.

He just nodded and opened the door to get out. She followed him and instantly saw what had burst the tire. A bunch of trash was spilled over the road such as glass and metal pieces amongst other things. Both, the front and the back left tire were torn to shreds and Beth clasped her hands over her mouth, realizing what this meant.

"Fuck!" she breathed. She felt as if the rug was pulled from under her. She had messed up everything. Everything. There had been opportunities for her after the prison fell, and she had ruined every single one. Daryl, the house, the car. She was a mess and she was so angry at herself she couldn't think.

"Hey!" he suddenly called. "D'ye hear me?"

She jerked her head around and realized that she must have been in some sort of paralyzation.

"No," she replied distractedly.

"Pack yer things, we needa' go!"

"What?" she asked in confusion and found it hard to focus. The feeling of loss was overwhelming and she couldn't concentrate on a new concept yet.

"They'll catch up with us! We needa' get away!" Daryl's voice attracted her attention. She knew he was right, yet her body only seemed to respond in slow motion. She forced her gaze away from the scene of accident and followed Daryl to the trunk of the car.

"Only take what ye can carry," he told her and she felt overextended by that request. How could she decide what she should take with her so quickly? She grabbed her backpack and started to stuff random things, there was no way she could think clearly now. Her body still was in shock from the physical sensation and her mind couldn't process what had happened.

Suddenly he grabbed her shoulders and made her look right into his face.

"Beth!" he said in a determined tone. "We gonna do this, 'kay?"

She nodded, but she didn't grasp what he meant.

"Come on!" he told her and helped her to lift the backpack.

When they left the road and headed for the treeline, she glanced back to the car and suddenly felt a tingle in her stomach. First of all she couldn't comprehend what it was, but then she realized that she was glad to have brought that episode to an end. The thunderstorm that had been rolling in the distance had arrived and she knew they would have to now face it. And even though she didn't know how to handle the things to come, she was glad she didn't have to wait any longer.