********************************B5***************************

Epilogue

The soft monitor beeped in ever dwindling constancy. Jade had tried to redo what he'd done before when he'd revived Marcus, but to his chagrin and disappointment and Susan's grief it hadn't worked a second time. He was distraught over his failure, but his heart was breaking over the fact that his friend and hold-father was fading out of life. Jade stood beside the door of the private Medlab room and watched as Susan kissed her husband once more before Stephen transferred him to the cryonics chamber. Marcus had protested cryonics, at first, but Susan had been inconsolable until he'd acquiesced. They'd put it off as long as they could and now all that was left was to say goodbye and hope that a cure for the device's draining effects could be found.

Marcus's breathing was labored as his essence ebbed and he kissed Susan a last time before asking for Jade. The seven year old didn't want to talk to him but had no choice as Susan beckoned and then took his hand and pulled him to the bedside.

"Give-" he took a breath "-us a minute, love." She nodded and stepped outside the door and no further. Jade felt her just far enough out to allow the door to close.

"I'm sorry, Marcus. I tried again and again but it doesn't help. Lyta says that its probably something to do with my training. That when I did it last time I didn't know it might be immoral so I didn't have anything holding me back, but now I have learned that some things I can do with my mind are not the right thing so I unconsciously prevent myself from doing it. I don't see why helping you would be wrong though. I don't want you to leave and I don't want Susochke to be sad since you're not gonna be here." He was putting up a brave front holding the tears back, but only just succeeding.

"It's," another breath, "quite all right." He took another breath. "I'm tired Jade, Susan will have you to care for her." His voice was soft and he had to pause again for breath. "Take good care of her for me, and everyone else." Jade nodded as Marcus breathed for a moment. "She will be okay as long as you remind her she's not alone."

"I will, Marcus, I'll take good care of her and I'll make sure she knows that we all love her, 'cause we do." He reached out a small unsteady hand to grip Marcus's much larger, and despite the weakening state of his life presence, decidedly stronger hand. "I'm so sorry, Marcus. I want to help and I don't know how anymore."

"It's going to be okay, Jade, you aren't to blame and I," short pause for breath, "know how hard you've tried. I appreciate it more than you know, but I don't want you to feel bad." He stopped and mustered the strength to raise his head and look at his hold-son. "Do you understand? Do not feel guilty for this. You gave both Susan and I a very precious gift. We got to love one another for a time openly. Thank you." With that Jade lost the battle to remain calm and cried. He cried because a dying man was thanking him for unintentionally making him live through his death all over again, that he was losing a man he admired as a friend and looked up to as a role model, and he cried because he couldn't be strong for that man now. Marcus squeezed his hand, not able to do more for the child he'd come to love as his own.

"You're welcome. Thank you for being my hold-father."

"That was purely my pleasure, Jade." He smiled at the boy who returned the gesture with tears still streaming down his face.

"You want me to get Susochke now?" Marcus nodded slightly and Jade let go of his hand to call Susan back into the room.

********************************B5***************************

Jade and his mother stood with the rest of the family as John stood with his mother on the end of the pier and sprinkled his father's ashes out over the water. He'd been confused by the explanation his dad had given for this, his grandfather's last request. David, the elder, had wanted to be a part of his land and had thought that cremation and rest in the lake were the best ways to do that. He watched his dad and his Gramma walk back down to the family and David and Jade met their dad with a hug to give and receive comfort. Delenn also came forward to embrace him, and he held the three of them close for a moment. Nancy moved to stand with them and a prayer was said. After the pastor finished the ceremony, the gathered family and friends moved back to the house to fondly remember the man they had laid to rest today. Jade couldn't help but wonder if this is how it would be when he said goodbye to his father.

********************************B5***************************

Susan Ivanova felt her Dushenka stiffen as the shuttle's ramp touched down and she knew that it wasn't from the chill wind that seemed to be a constant fixture of Tuzanor. She knew instinctively that it was from the absence of the man who'd summoned them in the group obviously waiting for their arrival. As soon as he could, he let go of her and ran to Delenn. Susan could feel the grief from her dear friends who stood nearby. Both Garibaldi and Emperor Vir Cotto stood off giving mother and son room.

"Mama, where-" Her nine year old son had grown much over the last three years, but when possessed by fear he predictably reverted to that scared little boy she'd cradled to her on that evening three years ago.

"He's at the house with Stephen, my little one. It is not quite time for him to leave us." As expected his arms flew around her and his relief was palpable. "Come on, let's go in out of the cold." He nodded but made no move to let go. "Get your bags, little one." He let go long enough to grab his suitcase and throw his pack over his back and they headed back to the house across the bridge ways.

********************************B5***************************

Jade stood beside the door to his parent's medcenter and waited for his mom and dad to come out. Doctor Franklin had just left to join the rest of the guests. "Jade, come in here for a minute," his father said as they appeared with their arms around each other. He started to follow his dad when his mother ran a finger down his nose.

"I'll see you down stairs in a moment." He nodded and entered the room watching his dad.

"Come here, pal." John held his arms open to his young son and fought back the tears as Jade rushed forward to hug him desperately. "It's okay, Jade, eventually it'll be okay."

"No it won't, you're leaving Dad. Mom's gonna be sad and David is gonna be sad and I'm gonna be sad, and it's not fair Dad. It's not fair." His voice was thick, strained with holding back his tears, and John hurt to hear it.

"No, it is definitely not fair to you at all, but I agreed to this price so that the universe would be safer for you and your mom and David. I will be here, you know. I'll be in your heart and in Mom's heart and in the hearts of everyone I love."

"But you won't be here." His voice had turned into a croak with his pain and John couldn't take anymore.

"Let it out, Jade. Don't ever hold in the hurt that just makes it worse." Jade did as told and John cried with him. "I asked mom to be strong until I'm gone that I want this to be a happy time, but Jade, I don't want you to hold it in, if you need it you let me know and I'll hold you until I can't any longer."

"Okay, Dad. Dad, can I stay with you? In your lap, I mean, at dinner and stuff. Can I sit with you?" His whispered question was a bit fearful. John knew it was because he was afraid he'd be refused.

"Of course, Pal. I'd like that." Jade relaxed a little in relief. "Let's go join everyone." They stood and exited the room.

********************************B5***************************

John sat beside the bed that held his son and one of the best friends he'd ever known. He reached out a tender hand and stoked the dark hair out of Jade's face. With the way she curled around him, most of the hair was Susan's. "It's time I headed out, son." He spoke softly as his index finger traced a line from the dark hairline down his nose to his softly pointed chin. "Take good care of your mom for me. I know you will. I love you, son. I'm sorry I can't stay." Susan began to stir.

"What? John?" Came the drowsy inquiry.

"Yeah, Susan, it's okay."

"What time is it?"

"Before dawn, go back to sleep."

"What are you doing in here?"

He sighed defeat. He'd hoped to avoid this. "I'm saying goodbye, Susan. It's time I got going, and I wanted to see him one last time. To see both of you."

"What do you mean, going?" Her voice was strained with quiet knowledge.

"I'm leaving, Susan, and I won't be coming back. I just wanted to see you both one last time so I could remember you peacefully. Take care of them, Susan, even if you don't take the job. Take care of my family."

"I will, John."

"I've always thought of you as a sister, you know?"

"I know, and if you didn't see that I thought the same of you you're more blind than I gave you credit for."

"You thought of me as a sister. Thank you so much." He chuckled trying to lighten the moment. She smiled demurely back at him.

"You know what I mean. Safe journey, John. I was once told of an ancient Egyptian blessing. My thoughts go with you."

"Thank you, Susan. I love you, little sister." He reached across his son's inert form in the dim light and wiped away the tear that escaped as the words diffused in the still air.

"Me too, John." She closed her eyes trying with all her might to hold back the grief.

John chose to leave her be, knowing that if he tried to comfort her it would only make the strain harder, so he turned back to his son, and reflected all the times he'd sat in this room in this position and spoken to the slumbering child before him over the last three years. He'd revealed his fears of losing his father to this child unaware, his regrets at having to leave so soon. He'd beamed with pride as he spoke of the accomplishments of his elder son after the ceremony he'd conducted introducing the new Anla'Shok candidates, and of his worry over his surrogate little sister's loss of her true love, but this time he knew there was an unwitting observer. He'd hoped that she wouldn't wake, but was now glad that she had. He'd regret having not told her how he'd thought of her all these years.

"Well, son, it looks like this will be my last late night visit to let you know how I feel about you and our family and everything in general. I have to go soon, but I need you to take care of your mom for me. Check on your aunt and your Gramma from time to time. I know you will do a good job taking care of them. Take care of Susan too, and yourself. Do great things, son, but don't forget to just be happy. I know that its going to be hard for a while, but my loss will pass and your sadness will too. When that happens I want you to teach these Minbari the fine art of Baseball. I love you, son. Please be happy, do it for me. I don't think I'd have the strength to do what I must if I didn't know you and your mom were going to be here for each other."

John took a breath and rested his fingertip on Jade's forehead, "I will be waiting for you in the place where no shadows fall," as he said goodbye, his finger gently slid down Jade's face from his forehead, down his slim nose, to his softly pointed chin for the last time. He then leaned over and kissed his son's head, and on impulse kissed Susan's as well then he turned without another word and left the room, adjusting the uniform as he rounded the door jam into the hall. It was time to face the last goodbye.

********************************B5***************************

John entered Hyperspace on his way to Babylon 5. As soon as he was clear he let the automatic systems kick in as he called up Whitestar 94 in Drazi space. The sleek ship's communication's technician connected him, somewhat nervously to the captain's office.

"Yes, Entil'zha. Is there anything I can do for you?" The gruff middle-aged captain came on screen.

"Yes, I need to speak with ranger trainee Sheridan. I'll need absolute privacy for this, Captain."

"Yes sir, I'll have him here shortly." John nodded and sat back to wait. John heard him long before the flustered countenance appeared before the screen. "Take all the time you need Entil'zha. We can handle things without David for a while."

"Thank you, Captain." He acknowledged and then the captain disappeared.

"What's going on, Dad? Is mother or Jade ill?" John listened to the deepened voice of his newly turned nineteen year old son. 'He really is becoming a great man.'

John cleared his throat. "No, son, your mother and brother are," he paused for a moment knowing that this was most likely by now a lie, "they're just fine."

"They are." David's highly intelligent eyes took in the tired appearance of his father. "Then what is it?"

"I -" Now was the moment of truth. He had made the call still undecided, he'd waited for David to appear still undecided, and now his son was before him asking for a reason. John was still undecided. He wanted to tell his son they'd never speak again in this life, but he also wanted to see his son free of the grief of knowledge. He listened for a moment to the almost silent engines of his Whitestar. "-just wanted to see you and speak to you for a while uninterrupted," and time began to turn normally again. "Your last trip home I didn't get to see you much with all the craziness of Christmas and all that."

"Yeah, I was as busy as you and Mom. Anisa really enjoyed herself. I'm glad you and Jade talked me into inviting her."

"She is a very interesting young lady, son. I hope you're enjoying yourselves, but don't do anything stupid."

David smiled at his father's worries. "Of course, Dad. I was raised a gentleman." His face fell a bit. "After we left did mother say anything about Nisa at all?" John heard the worry.

"Don't worry Davy. She liked Anisa. I think that she was just upset that her baby has a serious relationship. She hates that her boys are growing up."

"I guess all moms are like that though huh?"

"They are. I think your mom is worse than most though. She's going to try to keep Jade under ten for as long as she can get away with it."

"That won't be much longer either."

"No," John paused for a moment of contemplation. "No, it most certainly will not. He's growing up like you did, much too fast."

"I'm glad she likes Nisa. I like her a lot, Dad. She's just, I don't know how to describe her. She's great, beautiful, kind, funny, understanding, tough, fiery-" as David went on speaking of his girlfriend, John found himself fighting tears. His son was in love, probably for the first time in his life, and John was going to miss it. He decided that he better wrap up the conversation.

"I knew that she was special, son. Look, I've got to go, but I wanted to talk to you and I want you to know that I love you, son. With all that I am, I love you, your mother and your little brother, and I'll see you when I see you." He decided to use the old adage that his father had used with him just before the shadow war. He watched David's face for a reaction to what he'd said, hoping the message had gotten through but at the same time praying that it hadn't. David's face didn't change in the least so he sighed in relief and disappointment.

"I love you too, Dad." He reached forward and rested his hand on the screen. John put his own hand to the screen and reached to end the call. "Dad." John's hand hovered over the kill switch.

"What, Davy?"

"I will see you again," there was a moment of silence as the words sank in then David finished, "in the place where no shadows fall." John felt the burning in his eyes and nodded a quick acknowledgment and somehow found the voice to reply.

"I'll be waiting." Then his hand continued and killed the connection. John sat back in the captain's chair and let the tears fall.

David slumped momentarily and a single tear slid down his face. He'd been waiting for the call for a few weeks now, and he'd accomplished what he set out to do. He'd held it together for his father and still said goodbye. David Sheridan straightened, squared his shoulders, and left the captain's office. He neglected to wipe away the tear, it was somehow comforting to feel its wetness on his cheek. He was on duty and refused to break down, and that one tear was all he allowed himself until his duty shift ended. He then retired to his bunk grabbed his gear and asked for permission to take out a fighter for a short time. The captain had approved without question, having received a com call from President Delenn.

David took the fighter just outside the bays and kept pace with the ship. He turned off the link and only when he was sure no one could observe did he release his grief.

********************************B5***************************

A few days later Delenn lie in bed, hugging her husband's pillow to her body, curled around in a fetal manner. She began to feel heavy and for a little while that felt like an eternity she hung there, not in pain, not at ease. Then abruptly there was a searing pain throughout her soul and tears streamed from her eyes though she didn't notice them. The only thing she felt was pain for that eternal instant. When she came back to herself she heard the shrieks from the door beside her and footsteps in the hall. She rose from the bed and bolted to the connecting door. She opened it without thought and the sight that greeted her in the dim light was not unexpected.

Her small son sat struggling with Susan to break free from her arms and he was screaming for his father. Delenn came forward with the tears still rolling down her face. His mental voice called to her just as urgently and frantic as he screamed for John. Susan, seeing her enter, finally let him go and Jade leapt from his bed into her arms. She pulled him close as she collapsed to her knees, finally coming to rest sitting with Jade in her lap. She buried her face in his soft hair even as he latched onto her and sobbed into her night dress. They stayed that way for some time crying together for their loss before Delenn noticed that her son's and her own sobs were not the only ones she heard.

She looked up to see Susan sitting on the bed staring at Jade, and sobbing as hard as they were. Delenn reached out to her and Susan eased over to them. She kissed Jade's hair, one hand rested between herself and Jade on his back. The other Delenn herself took hold of as she returned her head to rest upon her son's and let the anguish reign. They were oblivious to the two men and one Centauri Emperor in the doorway of Jade's room. Garibaldi, Franklin and Vir watched their friends, knowing that they weren't to be a part of this anguish. They didn't leave for fear the three on the floor would need them, but neither did they interrupt their bereavement.

A few minutes later the StellarCom in the den sounded and Garibaldi left them to answer it. He refused to allow Delenn and Jade's mourning to be interrupted. They needed this so that they could move on. However, when the face came on screen he immediately had the call transferred to Jade's room. He then went back to them.

[Mother?] The deep voice questioned in Adronato. Delenn and Jade were just below camera range.

Her shaky voice replied. "We are here, my son." Garibaldi watched her try to pull it together to stand and tell her son that his father was no longer with them. Before she could he was in the room and had re-adjusted the angle of the camera. All she had to do now was turn and look at the screen.

David now changed to Earth standard English, "I felt it too, Mother. I knew it was time. I just wanted to see you, to make sure you and Jade were okay." His voice quit on him and Delenn turned then.

"We will be, eventually, David. I'm sorry I didn't inform you-"

"It was his wish, Mother. You couldn't go against it any more than I could. He called me himself. He didn't say anything but I knew the reason and we had a good talk. It's okay, Mom. I understand." His voice was heavy with grief and as he said it Delenn turned away and began sobbing again, as she rocked her small son. "I wish I was with you, but I can't leave yet. I'm almost finished with this cycle. It's only a few more days, and I want to finish it. I need to, for myself. I'll see you when I'm done."

"You will most likely have to meet us on Earth. We must tell your grandmother and Liz." Delenn gasped between sobs, thinking how like John, David had become, so filled with duty. The captain of the Whitestar David was assigned to had asked her if she wanted him shipped home. She had said that it was up to David. He was an adult and would make the decision himself.

"Damn, I forgot all about them. I can tell them if you like, I'm not going to be sleeping anytime soon, I'll call them."

"No, David, I must do this. I doubt I'll sleep soon either." Delenn didn't stop rocking Jade throughout the extended call to its end. Finally, she stood and walked with him into the other room to get a robe. She knew that it would be a while before the word would get out about John's death. She would need to contact Nancy and Liz before then. She sat her listless son on the edge of her bed and proceeded to the closet to change. She didn't think she'd sleep anymore tonight. She returned to find Jade curled up in John's spot with John's pillow clutched tight, not unlike the way she'd held it such a short time ago. He was wide awake and silent with tears still leaking from his red-rimmed eyes.

She eased over and sat beside him. Her grief was still as potent as the anguish in his eyes so she didn't try to comfort him with false words. She just held out her arms and he was in them instantly. Delenn rocked him for a while longer soothing the pain they both were experiencing. All the while she rocked her mind was pulling itself back into focus and as soon as she felt Jade sag into sleep she was up with a purpose in mind. She carried him out onto the veranda to watch the brilliance of colors that swept the sky clean of night. She cradled him to her as she watched the sun peek over the tips of the mountain backdrop of Tuzanor and let her mind regain its strength from the warm rays.

********************************B5***************************

The shuttle, carrying its important passengers with care, exited the Babylon 5 docking bay for the last time. The eight somber passengers watched out the viewports as their onetime home and the last best hope for peace and victory lit the darkness with a brilliantly profound silence. The small boy on her lap flinched as C&C ceased to exist, and Delenn wrapped her arms around him, pulling him back against her. Susan was piloting the shuttle with Garibaldi, and the rest sat silently after the transient demise, waiting for the Centauri Shuttle to collect Vir and Zack. The remaining passengers, including the bearded maintenance man, would rendezvous with the waiting presidential Whitestar. They would drop Garibaldi off on Mars to collect his family and then proceed to Earth to attend the family organized memorial for John. The maintenance man would be dropped at EarthDome to be assigned his next station.

********************************B5***************************

The group descended the ramp and were met by David Sheridan, who enfolded his mother and brother in a comforting hug. His girlfriend Anisa stood back from them understanding that this was their time. Susan greeted the young woman and tried to make her feel at ease, but being Ivanova it wasn't easy. Her reputation preceded her even so many years after it was created. Still she was curious about the new love of her 'nephew.' She grimaced as Jade's sobs could be heard again.

Nancy and Liz had joined them by this time and Delenn was torn from her sons to hug her husband's family. She was expecting to comfort them but found herself being comforted by just being with them. David lifted his younger brother off the ground and they joined the rest of their family.

"Let me down, I'm too big for you to carry, David."

"Nah, I'm fine. Besides I told dad I'd look out for you and right now I think that you deserve to be carried."

Jade decided not to argue and hugged his brother. "Thanks Davy." David smiled at him.

The group hug between their grandmother, mother and aunt broke up and they went to the house. Jade squirmed out of David's arms and took Ivanova's hand as they passed. David put an arm around his girlfriend and walked with her as his mother walked with his grandmother. The house was full of Earthforce generals and Admirals, much as it had been when David, the elder, had passed two years ago. Most of the EA personnel present had served with or under John Sheridan. ISN was present also, but for once it appeared that they held compassion above getting 'the story'.

Jade returned to his mother's side as the memorial started. He listened to what was said by people who'd known his father, but he didn't really hear them. He was remembering things that his father had done with him here in this old farmhouse. Before he knew it the memorial was through and the crowds thinned until only close friends and family were left. David and Anisa had joined Stevie and Matt and their wives as had Mary Garibaldi. Lise and Garibaldi stood speaking with Elizabeth Lochley and her husband. Franklin and the rest were spread around speaking and remembering their friend.

Avery walked up, almost out of nowhere, and asked Jade if he wanted to go out and play with other kids that were present. Jessie Ann, Lizzie's now twelve year old daughter, was with him encouraging Jade to join them. He was unsure what to do. He didn't really feel like playing, but he didn't not feel like playing either. Lots of things these days were confusing like that. So as he'd taken to doing he looked to his mother for an answer. "Mom-" Delenn put a finger to her son's mouth.

"Go and play, Little One. Have fun."

"But-"

"No, you should have fun. You can't be sad forever. Go on. I will still be here when you come back." He nodded and allowed his friend and his cousin to pull him outside after hugging her for a long minute more.

It was later in the day than he would have thought. Time had seemed to hold during the memorial and Jade's memories. The wind was chilling, but the other kids running around nearby didn't seem to mind. "What do you guys want to do?" Jessie asked. Jade shrugged and looked around. He felt miserable.

"Why don't we just walk around for a while. Maybe go check out the club house. I bet the floor's rotted through by now." Jade encouraged finally.

"What club house?" Avery asked.

"Jessie and I built a club a couple years ago in the summer before Grampa died. He helped us even though he was sick."

"You let your sick grampa help you build a club."

"We didn't know he was sick. Only Gramma knew that." Jessie retorted in their defense.

"Come on." Jade set out toward the stream that his father had shown him on their first visit here. They foraged a path through the overgrown brush. "This place has really changed since Grampa passed. When we built the club you didn't have to worry about scratches or anything 'cause Grampa kept the brush cleaned up. Now no one does it." Jade's mood was quickly becoming morose.

The three pressed on through the thick brush and finally found the stream. Jade walked down to the edge and dipped a hand into the water. As expected it was freezing cold. He dried his hand on his jacket and led the way to the tree house. The tree it was built in was not unfamiliar to Jade. This was where he and his dad had stopped for lunch the first time he'd ridden a horse. It looked the same as he remembered it too. Tall and thick with huge branches perfect for climbing. The small house sat nestled in the center built around the trunk of the giant oak.

It was much the same as any other tree house. It had a main floor that was about ten feet square and then a smaller landing eight feet higher up in the branches. On one wall the window was larger and the branch just outside and slightly above it was outfitted with a rope and pulley. The rope was weather worn but looked okay.

Jade took Jessie's bag and set it in the basket. He then climbed up the tree clearing away spiders and empty bird nests as he went, so that Jessie wouldn't be grossed out. He opened the door and went in to make sure no woodland creatures had taken up residence. He found a small squirrel in the loft, but the rest of the club was critter-free. Only cobwebs and dust inhabited the room. Testing the boards for rot, he made his way to the window, opened it and started to haul up the basket.

"It's okay up here, guys. Come on up. Jessie show Avery where the hand and foot holds are." He yelled down.

"Okay." She sent back, and before too long the others were with him. "It's kept up pretty well since last summer. I knew it was a good idea to re-shingle the roof. It kept the rain out."

"Yeah, and it was fun fixing it up with Dad." Jade's voice took on a distant tone. Jessie knew that the memories were playing in his head.

"Uncle John knew all the best ways to keep the rain and stuff from getting in. He helped us fix the roof and replace the rotten floor boards." Jessie informed her cousin's friend.

"Yeah, John was cool. Mom told me once that he was the most fun person she'd known in EarthForce Academy." Avery watched his friend's face settle even further into sorrow. He felt bad for Jade, he knew that he'd probably feel just the same if it were his father that had passed away. He walked over to where Jade stood looking out the large window to the stream below. "Whacha thinkin' about, Jade?"

"I wonder if my house is gonna start to feel empty like Gramma's, since dad is gone. Gramma's house just feels different since Grampa passed beyond. Will home feel that way now. Will the maze and the front garden get all over grown like this since dad's not there? Will Mom get rid of all his stuff like Gramma got rid of Grampa's things?"

"I don't know Jade, but if it does, is that so bad? You gotta keep goin' no matter how much it hurts. That's what mom and dad tell me. Your mom is gonna be there and you'll take care of his stuff."

"I don't think Aunt Delenn would get rid of his stuff, Jade. She knows that you like his stuff around. I bet she likes having his things there too."

"They make her sad." He stopped and watched the water slip by for a moment. "The day before we left I was packing and I heard her crying again. I went to hold her and tell her it was gonna be okay, and when I saw her I froze and just watched. She was sitting on the bed with a pair of Dad's socks. It had come in with the laundry, and mom was just hysterical over it. I didn't understand why. A little while later I told her I'd seen her and asked why she was so upset.

"She said that it was because that was the first time since they'd been married that any of dad's socks had been laundered with the rest of their clothes. He always did them himself in the bathroom every evening and hung them over the tub to dry them. It had something to do with when he was in the academy, and that the only man that gets killed is the one that's finished doing whatever he does and that he'd live forever cause he had socks to wash. I probably got it wrong, but it was something like that.

"Mom said that everything had just hit her when she saw that he hadn't washed his own socks." Jade wiped the tears that had slipped down his cheeks. "I don't really understand it, but the way she said it when she told me, I never want to hear her so sad again. Not ever, but I don't know how to make it better."

Jessie walked over to join them and put a hand on her younger cousin's shoulder. "I used to wonder that too. How I could make Gramma feel better when Grampa died? I asked my mom once, and she said that only time can make it better. That getting to a point where thinking of the person you lost doesn't stab you in the chest and make tears jump to your eyes takes a long time. Especially if you loved someone as long and as well as Gramma loved Grampa, and like your mom loved your dad. She said that all we can do is be there and remind them that we love them."

"Now that I can do. I will never stop loving my mom." He turned and settled into the small couch that they'd hauled up last summer. He sneezed as the dust irritated his nose after he plopped down, and then giggled.

"I guess that you shouldn't abuse the poor thing." Jessie indicated the worn sofa. The three of them burst into laughter at her comment. Soon both nine year olds and the twelve year old were again composed and collected enough to just hang out and have a good time in spite of the sorrows that had brought them here.

********************************B5***************************

As the day moved on into evening Delenn sent her elder son to search for the younger. She wasn't really worried about him, but would feel better knowing where he was. Neither he nor Avery nor Jessie Ann were playing with the other children in the field. She suspected she knew where they were, but wanted to be sure. Besides, Jade would have fun showing off his and Jessie's handiwork to his brother.

A short while later David returned and reported that the three of them were exactly where she'd thought. "They said they'd come back before dark, and they all have their coats on, so they won't freeze to death."

"Thank you, David."

He gave her a lopsided grin. "My pleasure, Mother. They've got quite a hideout in that old tree."

"Yes, they worked for a long time on it last summer while we were here." She smiled softly. "I think John had more fun out there than they did."

"I'll bet." David smiled again. His smile grew wide as Anisa walked over bearing a cup of tea for him. "Thank you, Nisa."

"You're quite welcome." She offered the other cup in her hands to Delenn. "I thought you both could use a little tea." Her voice was hopeful as she held it out. Delenn smiled at her and graciously accepted. Maybe she'd been too hard on the girl over the Christmas holiday. 'You'll have to get the notion that he is still your little boy out of your head. He's almost fully grown now, and it isn't hard to see that he loves her. Oh, John, did you see this when you last talked to him. I hope you did.'

"Thank you, Anisa. I am glad that David included you."

"Me too. Ma'am, I wanted to be here for him."

"Please, call me Delenn. I am not the president here."

Anisa looked to David, who was astonished but happy that his mother had put them both at ease. "Okay, Delenn."

They held a pleasant conversation after that, sometimes interrupted by others joining in, and sometimes telling stories of John for Anisa to laugh at. Eventually, true to his word, a red faced Jade returned with his cousin and his friend. He entered shucked his coat and made a bee-line for his mother. She pulled him close and kissed his wind chapped cheek.

"I hope you had fun, Little One." He nodded. "Are you hungry yet?"

"Yep. We've been trying to clear up some of the brush that grew over our trail. We worked up a pretty big appetite."

"There is food on the kitchen table for dinner. Go make a plate and eat at the table."

"Of course, mom." He shook his head. "I know better than to eat in Gramma's den." He kissed her again and went in search of the promised food. He returned a little later with a plate balanced in each hand. "Gramma said you need to eat too." He placed one of the heaping dishes in her lap. "I agree with her." The look he gave her said he wasn't taking no for an answer. Delenn sighed defeat and began eating.

********************************B5***************************

Susan was finally getting settled in on Minbar. She walked out of her room and down the hall. As she passed the veranda she noticed Jade watching his mother where she sat admiring the brilliance of the sun's ascendance.

"Why don't you join her, Dushenka?"

"Because this is her time to be by herself with Dad. I'll go out there later. Maybe I'll go to the Temple and meditate this afternoon and watch the sunset, but mom needs her time alone right now."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind, sweetling."

"I know, but I would. I don't want to intrude on her. I just want to watch for a minute and see her smile. She always does, you know. Right when the sun comes up and clears the mountains, she smiles like she used to when Dad was still here." He turned away and walked with her for a bit. "I miss her smile, Susochke."

"I do too, but it'll be back in time. She misses him like you do."

"No, not like me. I miss Dad a lot, but part of Mom died with him. She misses him but she misses that part of her too. It's the same way that you miss Marcus. I just miss my dad, but you and mom miss the one greatest love you ever had."

Susan smiled at his nine year old wisdom. She understood all to well what he was trying to say. "Yeah, but we'll be okay. We've still got you to love and watch out for us."

"Always, Susochke. See you in class later, okay. I don't want to miss the smile." He kissed her hand and trotted off the way they'd come. She watched him go. 'I hope I'm right, Dushenka. Your mom lost more with your father's passing than I did when Marcus left us. I hope she can pull through this.'

{'She will, Susochke. I'll make sure that she does. It's my job to take care of her now.'} Susan smiled at his matter-of-fact answer. She had little doubt that he would fail to pull Delenn through her depression.

********************************B5***************************

Delenn sat silently, feeling her husband's presence leave her as the sun rose further. In the doorway Jade watched her smile fade slowly away as the sun cleared the mountains and its brilliance became more generalized and the colors left the sky.

"Mom, can I sit with you for a while?"

"Of course, you could have come out here at any time in the last half hour. I would not mind."

"But this is your time. I don't want to bother you, and before you say it I would be bothering you. I don't know why, but it just feels like it's important for you to be alone out here when the sun's coming up. I know it has something to do with dad, but I don't know what, and I don't really need to either. It's for you and him. Just like when I play games on his terminal is for me and him. Thanks for not getting rid of it, by the way. I was afraid you would."

"I wanted to when we first returned, but I know how much you love to use it. I didn't want to hurt you by removing it, and you are not a bother ever. Now come out here and sit with me." He smiled and joined her on the cold metal bench.

"I miss ya, mom. You work too much lately. I see Susochke more than you."

"I know. I'm sorry, Little One. I will try to make time this weekend to spend just the two of us."

"Okay. I understand, I guess, but I still miss having you around to talk to and watch cartoons with in the afternoon." He snuggled against her, shivering as the wind blew across the balcony into them.

"I miss you too. I'll tell you what. After school today, come to my office. You can stay there with me until I finish with my paperwork, and we will walk home together." He nodded, and she could see the elation in his eyes. 'You need to get through this, Delenn. Your son is suffering a loss too. He misses his father as much as you miss your husband.' She sighed and pulled him into her lap, holding him close, trying to still his shivers. "We will be okay, you know."

"I know, mama. It's gonna take a while though. Sometimes I forget that he's not here anymore, and I'll be waiting all day to show him something and then I'll get home and remember that he's not here, and it hurts all over again. Or sometimes when you work late I forget that he won't be in there when I wake up and I'm kinda surprised when your bed is empty it hurts then too. I guess that stuff just hurts sometimes, huh."

"Yes, this more than most things, my little one. Don't forget that I am here though."

"I won't as long as you promise to remember that I can help you too. I want to help you, mama. I know you miss Dad in a different way from me, but I know that it hurts just the same. At least, if I can't make it better, I can cry with you. Then we wouldn't cry alone all the time."

"Do you still cry, my son?" Delenn looked at him confused. She'd never heard him.

He nodded softly. "I try to hide that I miss him so much, 'cause I don't want to make you sadder." She could hear the tears in his voice even now.

"Oh, my little love, I am sorry that I made you feel that way. Never worry that you will make me sad. Come to me and I will hold you and make it as better as I can." She kissed his hair as he shivered again. "Don't hide from me, even to protect me."

"Okay, I won't." He shivered again.

"Let's go inside before you become ill."

"I won't become ill, but I am cold." He got up and she took his hand leading him into the warmth of their home.

********************************B5***************************

Susan returned to the house after the ceremony to find Delenn and Jade in the kitchen laughing and enjoying themselves as they made dinner. She was surprised and delighted at the consistency of late. For the past two weeks Delenn had arrived home early enough to cook dinner with Jade. They'd been spending the time after dinner reading or doing Jade's homework together. Truth be told she felt a little left out, but the sight of them both so happy again more than made up for any feelings of neglect.

"Smells good in here. What's on the menu tonight?"

Laughing Jade informed her, "My earth history project."

"What is your project? It smells edible."

"It is edible. I'm making a model of a castle out of Flarn. The shape that Mom makes is perfect for the stone blocks used by medieval castle builders. We're doing a model showing feudal society. Its my job to make the castle, and everything has to be edible." He giggled and turned back to help his mother. "You wanna help us? We're eating more than we use to build the castle."

"How are you going to make it stick together?"

"Jade suggested we shape the castle then cook the flarn to keep it from coming apart. To get it to stay together while we build it I left the batter a little more tacky than I usually do. It is working wonderfully so far."

"Except that we keep eating the flarn before we can put it on the castle."

"Then what is for dinner?"

"David and his girlfriend are coming later with take-out. Thanks for assigning him home for a little while, Susochke." He looked up at her as he sneaked another of the cubes of flarn. Susan shook her head at him.

"I'll go change and then come help out." She walked out of the room in higher spirits than she'd entered. Jade seemed to be accomplishing his goals to bring his mother back from her depression. They both were happier now than they had been since the Sunday that John had left. "Things are starting to look up around here." She said as she made her way to change out of the robes of Anla'shok na.

End Transmission.

May god stand between you and harm

In all the empty places where you must walk.

-An Ancient Egyptian Blessing-