Disclaimer – I do not own Glee

Those Emotions

Summary: Love, devotion, commitment? *snort of laughter* For Sebastian Smythe, those emotions just didn't happen. You know, until they did.

Chapter 1

Unlike most High School students who fell in and out of love as frequently as they changed their Facebook status, Sebastian Smythe rarely played victim to those emotions. That's not to say he lacked feelings. The boy certainly felt a number of different things, he was human after all. He experienced his share of anger, boredom, amusement, laziness and lust. Sometimes he'd feel jealous. At times he even felt lonely and insecure; he just opted not to let it show.

But as familiar as Sebastian was with typical every day feelings, he was not an expert in other emotions that his peers often fell prey to. He even prided himself on the fact that he didn't become infatuated with people and daydream about holding hands and other such nonsense. He enjoyed sex of course but he had no desire to continue any hook-up on to a relationship level. He just didn't see the point in dating and getting to know a guy when all he wanted to do was yank their pants down, bend them over and give them a fuck they'd never forget.

For Sebastian Smythe, those emotions just didn't happen. You know, until they did.

XXX

"Oh shit," Sebastian swore to himself late at night when it registered in his mind that he had in fact started to experience those emotions.

In all honesty, Sebastian had never felt any lovey-dovey feelings before. He loved his parents of course and he was loyal to his friends. He would even admit that he felt affection for his closest friends. But that was a different kind of love altogether, it didn't count as those emotions.

He had been living in Paris at age fifteen when he first lost his virginity. He had found the guy to be incredibly attractive and touching one another had felt great, but he hadn't experienced any kind of feelings.

As a child, he had a pretty friend named Isabella. There had been a time when he thought perhaps he might grow up to fall in love with her one day. Both their parents had certainly expected him to. For a while Sebastian was intensely confused as to whether he had feelings for Isabella or not. Eventually, the confusion faded and he confidently accepted his homosexuality, thereby realising that he did not and could not develop such feelings for Isabella, or indeed any girl.

Over time, he decided that he would never become a slave to those emotions. With gleeful amusement he would watch the people around him who embarrassed themselves horribly as they tried to be romantic and form relationships. He was arrogant enough to believe that he would never behave like them. It was decided in his brain that he would go through life judging people purely on looks, fucking anyone attractive enough and then moving on to find the next piece of ass. He would fuck and fuck until the day he died without ever experiencing the brutal agony of being in love. That was the plan, until somebody ruined it.

He wasn't even entirely sure who was to blame for the situation. It certainly wasn't his fault of course. He could never have seen this coming in order to have been able to prevent it. The blame definitely belonged to somebody else, Sebastian just wasn't sure who.

Maybe it was Blaine Anderson's fault. Or maybe it was that British boy, Adam. Or Brody, it could have been Brody's fault. Maybe it was simply Kurt Hummel's fault. Or it could have been Rachel's fault, or Santana's. Wait, maybe he should blame Jeff. Jeff was his best friend and roommate. After graduating from Dalton they had both moved to New York and agreed to live together to save money. Jeff had seen it all happening before his very eyes and he hadn't done a single thing to stop Sebastian from succumbing to those emotions.

"That's it," Sebastian thought irritably. "I blame Jeff."

He scrambled out of bed and strode determinedly to Jeff's bedroom. There was no lock on the door and Sebastian never bothered to knock. He simply swept inside, moved towards the bed and shook the blonde boy awake.

"Bastian?" Jeff asked groggily blinking up at him. "Time is it?"

"I don't know, like three in the morning," Sebastian shrugged and Jeff let out a whine as he pulled the covers up over his head. "But that's irrelevant. The important thing to consider is the fact that it's all your fault."

"Huh?" Jeff asked from under the covers.

"It's your fault, Jeff," Sebastian answered stealing the covers. "Everything is your fault. You have screwed my life up and now my entire existence categorically sucks."

"Sorry," Jeff apologised tiredly.

"Don't go back to sleep," Sebastian scowled nudging Jeff's shoulder roughly. "You are single-handedly responsible for ruining my life, the least you could do is show me some compassion. Move over," he ordered so he could sit comfortably on the bed.

"Bas, I'm exhausted, can't this wait?" Jeff asked though he knew it was futile.

"No it cannot," Sebastian answered. "You're my friend, Jeff, you shouldn't have let this happen."

"Let what happen?" Jeff asked having no idea what his friend was talking about.

"The worst case scenario I could possibly imagine has actually happened to me," Sebastian said. "I've started to feel… those emotions."

"Huh?" Jeff replied.

"Damn it, Jeff," Sebastian sighed. "I've fallen in love with Kurt Hummel and it's your fault."

"Whatever," Jeff murmured before settling back down to go to sleep.

XXX

Back when Sebastian first met Kurt Hummel, he had no sexual interest in him whatsoever. His attentions were in fact fixated on Kurt Hummel's then-boyfriend Blaine Anderson. As soon as Sebastian had set foot in Dalton Academy, he was hooked on the idea of seducing Blaine. The way The Warblers had talked about him made him sound like a rock star and Sebastian was eager to have Dalton's beloved Blaine begging for his cock.

It never happened with Blaine. But somehow, it ended up happening with Kurt, and more than just a casual fuck.

Kurt Hummel had graduated from McKinley and headed off to New York. He and Blaine had tried to sustain their relationship long-distance but ultimately it had failed. Blaine had cheated.

So maybe it was Blaine's fault rather than Jeff's. If Blaine hadn't cheated then surely Klaine would still be young loves dream and Kurt would never have even glanced at Sebastian.

However, Blaine had cheated. So when Sebastian headed out to New York a year later and bumped into Kurt, they were both single. Their first meeting in New York was in a coffee shop. It had been crowded with very few empty seats. So upon recognising Kurt sitting at a table with Rachel Berry, Sebastian had plastered on an arrogant smirk and invited himself to join them. Instantaneously, Sebastian and Kurt were verbally sparring with one another, firing insult after insult. And Sebastian had thoroughly enjoyed it.

Not knowing anyone else in New York, Sebastian and Jeff had taken to socialising with Kurt, Rachel and Santana. Through them they also met the likes of Brody and Adam.

Jeff was such a good-natured and friendly person that he liked most people and most people absolutely adored Jeff. Kurt obviously knew Jeff from his short time at Dalton. Rachel thought he was the cutest thing to walk the earth, Brody and Adam treated him rather like a younger brother and Santana quickly became fiercely protective of Jeff.

As for Sebastian, he couldn't stand Brody and wasn't at all shy at letting it be known. He and Santana bonded over their dislike of the other boy and became fast friends. They often joked that if they weren't gay then they would totally be a perfect match for one another. Rachel had taken some getting used to but Sebastian slowly warmed up to her. He didn't hate Adam by any means, but he didn't really care that much about the British guy either. They struggled to find common ground and conversation between them was often strained but Sebastian still considered Adam as a friend.

Then there was Kurt. He had never really liked Hummel back in Lima but he rapidly grew to enjoy his company out in New York. He enjoyed teasing him and arguing with him. It was one of his favourite pass-times. Eventually, Sebastian realised that he even liked Kurt as a friend. Then he slowly began to appreciate that Kurt Hummel was quite fuckable. So Sebastian did what Sebastian does best. He flirted, seduced and fucked. It had been incredible.

So Sebastian had fucked Kurt again. Without realising it, they became fuck-buddies. And Sebastian was fine with that, he really was. You know, until he fell in love with Kurt.

"This wouldn't be happening if he and Blaine had stayed together," Sebastian ranted to a drowsy Jeff. "Or if he'd just dated Adam. Why couldn't Kurt just date Adam? He's a nice enough guy. Ok, I would never date him but that's not the point. If Kurt was dating Adam then I'd have never fucked him and then I wouldn't be going crazy with all these stupid ridiculous feelings. I will never forgive you for this, Jeffery."

"Still blaming me then," Jeff commented before letting out a huge yawn.

"I don't know what to do," Sebastian admitted.

"Tell him how you feel," Jeff suggested and Sebastian snorted at the idea.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sebastian sniffed. "No, I'm just going to ignore these feelings and they're going to go away."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Jeff told him before going back to sleep.

So… worth continuing?

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