And Then There Will Be Peace...

A/N: So these two have brought me out of retirement. Don't care for the direction the show is taking them, but I love reading the wonderful Arrow fanfics on this site. Decided it was time to throw in my two cents. Hope you enjoy

Chapter 1: When Did That Change?

"Stop it, Oliver," she whispers and gently wraps her slender fingers around my wrist removing my palm from her cheek.

I must scowl in response because she squeezes my hand reassuringly before letting it drop to my side. "You have to stop... touching me," she says on a sigh.

I start to speak, but no words form. All I can do is watch her walk away. By the time I am ready to ask, she is typing furiously at her computers. We are the only ones in the lair. It's Saturday night. Roy and Sarah are working upstairs and Diggle has plans. I find myself hovering behind her. I know she is aware because she sits a little straighter, and her shoulders are tense. I move forward and reach for her shoulder, but I stop when I realize that I am about to touch her... again... and she doesn't want me to.

"Found it!" she says triumphantly, more to herself than to me. The fist pump makes me smile even though I don't really feel like smiling. She spins in her chair to face me. "Found the money trail. It should be easy from here."

I nod. She tilts her head to the side in that entirely Felicity way and silently asks me "what's wrong?" I hear her voice clearly in my head. "Just tell me what you're thinking, Oliver." I start to. I really want to, but I don't know how.

So she gives me the answer to the question that I am afraid to ask...

"Oliver, you have Sarah. She cares about you. The two of you make sense. You don't have to hide from her, you know? She knows your past and your present... The touching... it's not fair to her... It's not fair to me." I can see that it hurts her as much as it hurts me to think about stopping.

I start to protest even though I have no solid ground to stand on. She is right, of course. I have to stop touching her. I just don't know that I can.

"I'm sorry," is all that I can come up with.

Her eyebrow shoots up and anger flashes in her eyes. It is gone, however, as quickly as it appeared. "Don't be sorry, Oliver. I'm glad you have someone. I'm glad you're happy. I plan on being happy too you know." And there it is, that playful grin that pulls me a little further from the darkness. It fades too quickly, and I am afraid that perhaps she feels the darkness that surrounds me pulling at her. Then it registers. The thing that she has just said while I was simply watching her talk. She's met someone? Yes, she just said that she has met someone. The fog lifts from my brain and I hear her again. "It was fun. We're gonna' see a movie tonight, at the IMAX." I am lost in her smile. She gives me the one that I can't help but return. The one full of hope. She thinks that I am happy for her even though that is not why I am smiling. Her computer beeps and she spins away from me. I want to gab her chair and spin her back, but I walk away instead, toward the mats, and loosen up for a workout.

I drop from the salmon ladder and see Felicity tidying her desk. "You leaving?" I ask as she pushes her chair back and stands, gathering her things. I have no idea how long I have been lost in my thoughts, feeling only the burn in my muscles. It's enough to mask the pain that I cannot define. I grab a towel, round the computer table and stand too close to her. I don't really know why I do it, I just want... I don't know what I want, I just do it.

"Movie, remember?" she says seemingly unaffected by my nearness. When did that change? She stretches her neck and turns back to her computers. "He's picking me up at eight. I'm gonna' leave these scans running. If anything pings, just leave it and I'll check it tomorrow." Finally she slows her hands and turns back to face me. She catches me staring. "What?" she asks, brows furrowed.

All I can do is shake my head, and step back to give her room. As she walks by, I reach for her arm. I don't mean to, but not touching her proves to be too difficult. She stiffens at the contact, and I let my hand drop back to my side. "Have fun," I say, surprised by the way my voice cracks. She nods without looking at me and heads for the steps.

Arrow/Arrow/Arrow/Arrow/Arrow/Arrow/Arrow/Arrow/Arrow/Arrow

He brings her home a little before midnight. They walk slowly up the steps to her little house with the big front porch. When she turns to face him, my heart clinches. Her smile is radiant and full. She is happy. He must say something witty because she chuckles and touches his forearm. He seizes the opportunity and lays his hand at her waist. I start forward, intending to do what, I don't know. He leans in, and I look away. I cannot watch. The scene, however, plays uninvited in my head. She steps forward and slides her hands behind his neck... behind my neck. Yes, in my mind's eye, it is me that she is reaching for. I stay frozen in place, holding on to that image. Then it hits me. She is moving forward, and I am moving backward, sinking into my past, into Sarah. Sarah is a part of me, but she is not my future.

I open my eyes, and I see him trotting down the steps. At least he isn't going to stay the night. Of course he isn't going to stay the night. This is Felicity. Staying the night comes later, much later, and this guy understands that. I know that if she ever looked at me that way again, I... I would do nothing as always. But I am no gentleman, and I worry that she will look at me that way, again, maybe someday. Yet, now that I allow myself to think of her, I realize that it has been a while since she looked at me at all. How long, I wonder? When did that change?

From where I sit, I can see what I assume to be her bedroom window at the back of the house. Why have I never been inside her home? Because I am a terrible friend, that's why. She opens the window and I pretend that she is opening it for me. Behind the thin, shifting curtains, I see her silhouette and it sparks my imagination. She is changing into her sleep clothes. A comfortable pair of pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt, I'm sure. Felicity would opt for comfort, not for sexy like the other women I have bedded. I say that as if she is one of them. She is not, nor can she ever be. Yet a part of me refuses to let that notion go. She turns off the light and I scan the area. She was right when she said that if Slade wanted her dead, she would be dead. I wouldn't be able to stop him. That is the only thing that scares me. I lied when I told Sarah that I am not scared. A half truth, really. I am not scared of losing Sarah. It should have been her in the first place, not Shado, but that isn't Sarah's fault and I don't blame her. I blame me. I will do everything that I can to keep Sarah safe, and Digg, and Roy, and Thea, and my... Do I care if my mother dies? Yes, I suppose I do. It would kill Thea to lose her. The thing that I will die doing is protecting Felicity... and Thea if Roy fails to do so.

I drop from the tree where I have been perched for hours now. I am tight with tension, but I cannot relax. The sound of my bike fills the night air. One last glance and I speed away. I will lie to Sarah and tell her that I have been on patrol. If I told her the truth, she would understand. She knows that I need to protect Felicity. Someone has to protect Felicity. But she would see that it is more than just that, and I don't want to hurt her. I catch her watching me, watching Felicity. She would guess why I really came here tonight. I think she, like me, knows that eventually, she and I will fail each other as we always seem to do.

A/N: Short and sweet. Thanks for reading. It has been a while... should I continue? Reviews are greatly appreciated!