Rule number one about being carried off the battlefield…

Genma stared up at the forest canopy. Leaves shivered in a cold breeze as Ebisu and Gai abruptly shot past his eyesight. Frost curled around their feet, sending Ebisu tumbling. Gai flailed for balance for a few moments, before catching himself.

Genma mustered up enough energy to give a very lazy, "Hey," when Ebisu landed right next to him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ebisu glaring at him through sunglasses. "Genma, I don't want to sound like Gai when I say this but… Were you slacking off?"

Was he? Genma experimentally tried to move. His body didn't listen. "Nope. I just woke up and when I tried to move, I couldn't."

Okay, so there was some fudging of the timelines. It was needed though. When you had Gai as the over-exhaustive teammate, being able to convincingly lie about how much activity you've done through the day was pretty much a requirement unless they wanted to die of exhaustion.

"Ah, neither could I."

An icicle grew on a nearby tree. Gai crouched atop it, bare fingers slapping against the extreme cold. When he lifted up his hand, Genma could see the dark stains left behind. "We should help Gai."

The thud of a lifeless corpse hitting the forest ground rang loudly in his ears. Gai shot overhead, glowing bright green. Blood trailed after him like a comets tail. One of the ninja from who-cared-where met Gai overhead, ice flowing like a shield before him.

Gai shattered it with a punch, then shattered the head with a kick.

"I think Gai has it handled." This was the second time he and Ebisu had seen the Gates so close up. The green aura instead of red reassured him though. "How about we wait for him, and see if we can't get him to carry us back."

The deep numbness buzzed in his limbs. There was probably a hand sign a person could use for dispelling the numbness, but Genma couldn't think of what it was. Besides, he couldn't move his body. Gai wouldn't be able to break it either, with his pitiful chakra reserve- if he had any left after the end of this battle.

Gai slammed a enemy face next to Ebisu's with all the force he could muster. A wet squish both reassured and told Genma that the enemy wouldn't be following them when they made their escape.

Gai glanced left, right- "I think I got them all. Genma, Ebisu, how many do you remember?"

"Before I was knocked out? Five."

"When I got slammed down here there was only four left. You got one before they got you, I got one, and Gai got the last three." Ebisu sighed, "Well, now how are we supposed to get back to our teacher? None of us have the chakra-"

Genma, in retrospect, should've expected it. But that was retrospect, and retrospect had a way of making everything crystal clear.

A rather outraged yell filled the air as Gai picked him up and slung him over one shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Ebisu flopped onto the other shoulder. "Then I guess I should start walking. Now that they're dead, it should start wearing off, right?"

"If it was a chakra, sure. But if it was some kind of drug then we have a far likelier chance of dying before you can return to camp."

Ebisu's tone was strangled, as Gai started picking up his pace. They flapped like little flags into the wind over his shoulder, not enjoying the bumpy ride at all. "Gai-" Genma gasped out after a particularly hard bump that threatened to expel his stomach with his breath, "Little softer please!"

"Sorry!" Gai shifted his gait, and suddenly it was a little more like drifting on a cloud. Sure there was an uncomfortable numbness that was still settled in his limbs, and he had to put up with the stink of an unwashed kid (who was only half his size, Genma was realizing with growing horror) who had just killed three men. Oh, and Gai was all muscle, so there wasn't much of a cushion.

Gai galloped into the hospital located along the edge of camp. Genma tried to lift his head to crane it at Gai's face, but it was futile. But he was pretty sure that Gai had his usual 'Youthful' grin on his face. "We have returned!"

"Gai? Is that Genma and Ebisu?"

Gai nodded, and Genma could feel practiced hands plucking him off Gai's shoulder. "Hmm, looks like some kind of paralysis drug. Yuki, take these two too the less injured tents. We'll figure out what's wrong with them eventually. Also, Yoriko- make sure Gai doesn't leave without a full checkup."

"I'm fine-"

"Full. Checkup."

The end result was that Gai had several broken ribs and fingers, his skin had been peeled away from where it had flash frozen to icicles, and his muscles were absolutely shredded from opening up the gates. Genma and Ebisu sat through the resulting three hour lecture about how they should just go ahead and crawl home then make a person who was clearly worse off then them carry them back.

… make sure that you're the one that's worse off.

Rule number two of being carried off the battlefield…

"We need backup out along the western ridge!"

Genma glanced up from where he was carefully studying a magazine full of weapons. They were all far out of his price range, but it was nice too look sometimes. Besides, if his team kept up its current level of activity and missions, then some of the weapons would actually be within his grasp.

Gai rolled to his feet, tightening the bandages wrapped around the upper-half of his arm. "I'll go and help."

Ebisu started getting up, groping for his extra pair of sunglasses. The nurse stopped him with one cold look. "Everyone on this half of the tent are not allowed to leave."

Genma sighed, a burning, prickling motion intensifying for a brief moment. The poison currently running through his veins made it impossible for him too do much more then sprawl on his thin blanket and wait for the antidote to run its course. Ebisu had a lighter dose.

Gai was already cured. Damn him and his incredible natural healing abilities. He had even carried them back while he was at it.

The tent slowly emptied, leaving behind just the poisoned and too heavily injured men behind. "Hey, isn't the western ridge where Kakashi is?" Ebisu idly asked Genma.

Genma blinked, mind raking back over what exactly Gai had been babbling about before the beginning of the battle. "Yeah. His 'Eternal Rival' was positioned on the Western Ridge, and had spent the morning napping under a giant rock that looked like a middle finger."

Another kid perked up from where he was lying on a cot. "Wait, so it'll be Kakashi and Gai up there? How much do you want to bet that Kakashi will have utterly destroyed everyone and the reinforcements won't be needed?"

Genma and Ebisu stared at the boy for a moment.

They knew, intellectually, that there were those who thought this way. People who actually believed Kakashi wasn't human and fallible. Being around Gai and seeing their fights and digs at each other had knocked the notion out of their minds. When it came down to it-

Genma glanced at Ebisu, muttering, "How much money you got on you?"

"A pretty fair amount. You going to take him up on it?"

The others were looking at them oddly, but odd looks were normal when you had Gai as a teammate. It was as one and in complete agreement that Ebisu dropped a bag full of coins onto the table. "I'll bet the entire contents of this bag that it'll be Gai carrying Kakashi out."

"You're on! I'll bet this!"

"Hah! Easiest money I'll ever take!"

"Well, this is hardly fair, but what ever, I'll join as well!"

Ebisu and Genma claimed their winnings with smug faces when Gai came staggering back carrying three people. Kakashi was complaining the entire way, "If you hadn't stepped in, I would've gotten them."

"But Kakashi, if I hadn't stepped in, you would've been stabbed with the kunai!"

"I wasn't! I have faster reflexes then that!"

Their bickering was pretty good natured unlike their earlier fights where the sharp-edged anger had been real and words were aimed to hurt.

The ornate nunchaku were bought with the prize money and given to Gai for his birthday. It would always be a cherished memory caught on picture of Gai's dumbstruck face.

And best of all, Genma and Ebisu considered, was the fact that there was always someone who would be willing to take them up on the bet that they could fleece out of their money.

… Make sure that you place your bets correctly.

The third rule of being carried…

Ebisu considered lodging a complaint. It was likely to be ignored with the very, very strange, furious equanimity Gai was acting with right now. Ebisu glanced down to where blood leaked out of a cut in the green jumpsuit. If Gai didn't treat it soon, then pulling off his clothes would result in tearing open more wounds.

"Gai, I can wal-"

"You were stabbed through. You're not walking anywhere."

Ebisu pointed out with the most exasperation he could drag up, "Your right arm is completely shattered."

"I don't need it too walk." Gai snapped back, the edges of his bowl cut tapping lightly on Ebisu's back. Ebisu again considered lodging another complaint. It was a pretty small stab, all things considered. It could've been a lot worse, and-

"I'm not made of glass Gai."

"I know."

But he wasn't letting Ebisu down either. Ebisu pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Are all of my students okay?"

Ebisu's new 'job' since the closing of the war was to train some elite bodyguards. Even if he physically couldn't do what was needed, Ebisu knew how to make people tough. It mostly consisted of inviting Gai over, laughing hysterically as the newbies Gai-cherry was popped, and continuing to laugh hysterically as Gai ran them through a weeks worth of training in a day.

"Yep, they ran back to Konoha the moment you were attacked."

"I'm going to fail all of them." Ebisu groused. "And we were supposed to go drinking…"

His voice trailed off as he remembered the date today. Today was the date of their very first mission that Gai, Genma, and Ebisu had taken on outside of Konoha. It was also the date of…

"Sorry about that." Ebisu apologized softly. Suddenly Gai's unusual behavior made sense. The memory was still raw, and on today of all days it would be especially raw. But, "I'm not going to apologize for stepping in to guard your back."

"Like I said, I could handle that! It was your most unyouthful-" Gai's shout was a little shaky, but it was a huge step in the right direction. So was the rant about youth and healing. Ebisu tuned most of it out, already planning what kind of revenge he would extract.

"So don't die before I can keep my promise to you two!"

Ebisu regarded the ground for a moment longer, before shrugging. "That should be my line. I won't forgive you if you die before you could finish. Besides, who would stalk Kakashi if you did?"

"I'm not stalking Kakashi!" And off he went again.

But his shoulders were more relaxed. Gai never had much in the way of cushioning, but tense shoulders were far less comfortable then relaxed shoulders. Wait- when exactly had he become so comfortable being carried over Gai's shoulder anyways?!

"Can I get down and walk yet?"

"No. I'm less heavily injured then you are."

"I got a tiny little cut through the stomach. You're still the one with the shattered arm."

"It's not hurting that much."

According to the people Ebisu had fought alongside during the third war that made Gai a monster. Ebisu had an entirely different word for it. "Put me down you thick-brained idiot! Before I let loose with a fart right in your face!"

"Is that anyway to treat your teammate who came all this way to rescue you?! How much more ungrateful can you-"

Gai broke off, body tensing. Ebisu shut up immediately, using one arm to brace himself against Gai's back. He scanned the surrounding forest for any signs of the humans that had put Gai on alert.

There was a rustle from further up, where Gai couldn't see around Ebisu blocking his line of sight with his body. Ebisu quickly wrote it out against Gai's back, trusting he would understand. Gai lowered onto one knee silently, tilting his shoulder to let Ebisu slide off carefully. Ebisu moved as silently as he could.

It was still too loud for Gai who was more used to fighting side-by-side with Kakashi nowadays. Gai still managed a passable attempt of hiding his wince nonetheless as a tiny twig snapped beneath Ebisu's feet.

A dark form landed on the tree above them. Gai whirled, leg coming out to kick the tree. The figure dropped with a rather recognizable yell- Ebisu and Gai lunged at the same time to cushion Genma's fall.

Genma gingerly rubbed at the back of his head. "What was that for?"

"Sorry, we thought you were the enemy."

The senbon waggled at Genma's frown. "Is that so?"

"Yeah- what are you doing out here?"

"Making sure neither of you needed to be carried." Genma held up a first-aid kit. He had become their unofficial 'nurse' after it became clear that Gai's care was the worst level of hell to inflict on a living person, and Ebisu's care was the second. Genma had a far more caring disposition then either of them.

"Is it really alright for you to leave your post as the Hokage's guard?"

"It's fine. When I heard the news I was given permission by the hokage to come on out anyways- Gai, what did you do to your arm?"

Gai grinned as he leaned against a tree. "Nothing much."

"This isn't nothing much." Genma snapped back. "Okay, Ebisu, can you walk?"

"No." "Yes."

The two opposing answers lingered on the air.

Genma sighed, kneading his brow with his fingers. "Okay, let's see how good my healing has gotten."

… try not to be too hypocritical about it.

The fourth rule of being carried off the battlefield…

Genma regarded the 'new' hokage with a blank expression. It wasn't quite true though- Sandime wasn't new. He was the old Hokage. The currently dead hokage, Minato, was the new. But he was dead.

Deadly new? New dead? Newest Dead?

Genma allowed the rather macabre though process to play itself out as the Old Hokage gave him a rather level look. He knew he wasn't needed. The Old Hokage had plenty of his own bodyguards, and Genma was supposed to be guarding the New Hokage but had failed so badly…

Kakashi was slumped off to the side- he had been off duty and from the sounds of it, out wandering the streets with Gai when the attack had started. Now he was trying to process the fact that he was the very last of his entire team. Genma could feel his heart ache for him- They were about the same age, and Genma had been under the New Hokage's tutelage for a much shorter period of time...

But everyone loved Minato.

The old Hokage cleared his throat, and Genma forced his attention back to the front. Back onto the situation. He couldn't do this on a battlefield- "Go and take the rest of the week off. Take the time to mourn, and decide what you all wish to do- if you'd like to see if you can remain as guards or not."

They still had that option?

Genma blinked, blank mind latching onto that.

"My guards are getting on in their own years after all. We will want to put some fresh new blood in, and I don't blame the death of Minato on any of you."

He was too kind. The doors opened, and the former-maybe guards flooded out.

Gai was pretty easy to spot. His green spandex stood out at the best of the times, and he was standing on top of a chair. His eyes scanned the crowd, settling on Genma for a moment, before flickering to where Kakashi was. Genma smiled half-heartedly to himself.

They had never been a truly proper team, and split ways just about the second they could. Gai was probably going to go confront or comfort (it was so hard to tell sometimes) Kakashi, and Genma would stumble home where he would set up enough traps too kill anything that so much as touched his door and drink himself to oblivion. By himself.

He didn't want to be alone…

He didn't-

"Genma?"

Gai was standing in-front of him. His teeth glinted obnoxiously when he spoke. "Genma, are you coming?"

"C-Coming?"

"Ebisu has already broken into your house with a whole bunch of alcohol. Come on."

Gai wrapped a friendly arm around Genma's shoulders, and pretty much lifted him into the air. It was a lot like being carried Genma thought. "Also, a couple of your fellow guards will be coming along. They said they were headed home to grab some more alcohol first. I think they're going to bring some food as well."

When exactly had his home become the gathering place?

"And what about Kakashi?" It was kind of odd to be asking about Gai's 'eternal rival' but Genma had been pretty sure he was going to be passed over for Kakashi.

"Mmm, he had some business to take care of. I will visit him later."

Gai didn't let go of Genma until they had walked through the house door to a brightly lit living room. A small knot of fellow guards were already gathered, and judging by the amount of bottles, half-drunk.

Ebisu was sober though, and he held out a shot glass and a bottle of sake to Genma.

Genma always believed in moderation, and he was usually the sober guy to make sure everyone got home safe. Today he picked the bottle straight from Ebisu's hand and started chugging.

Gai disappeared somewhere among the drunken weeping and sobbing. Genma tried not to feel disappointed or saddened.

They were never truly proper teammates after all.

But that didn't stop him from smiling when Gai stumbled back in early in the morning with a puffy face and obviously hurt. Some part of him was worried, but there was a lot of happiness. "Gai!"

Ebisu glanced up from where he had been dozing. Drunk snoring was a chorus to their ears.

Gai smiled, the glint a familiar, almost reassuring sight. "You two are up late!" His voice was actually soft instead of his theatrical whisper. "You weren't waiting for me, were you?"

The two snorted dryly. Wait up for Gai? They'd sooner die then admit it. Genma made the excuse of, "No, just no one could hold their alcohol as well as I could."

Genma pretended he didn't hear Ebisu whisper, "I switched it out with water a long time back."

He also pretended not to see Gai's wince after he laughed.

That kind of fight could've only come from Kakashi, and Kakashi wasn't here. He was somewhere else, and Genma wasn't thinking about him, even if Gai always was. Ebisu sloshed a bottle, effectively derailing Genma's thoughts.

"C'mon Gai, come and drink with me!"

Gai settled down, holding out a small glass. "I could use a bit of a drink."

Soon the three were out in the garden, watching as the sun rose over the horizon. Genma swirled the sake in his cup. "I'mma gonna get back onto the Hokaze's guards."

"I will do whatever I can to help my friend." Gai promised.

Ebisu nodded, "I can help as well."

Genma nodded, and downed his entire cup in one long gulp. He passed out, but when he woke up there was a cup of water, a few painkillers, and a neatly written note from his two teammates reminding him to take it easy.

…carry them the full way.

The fifth rule of being carried off the battlefield…

Genma glanced around the busy camp. When the fourth war had started, Genma knew that he wouldn't be sharing his tent with Gai and Ebisu from the very beginning. They weren't kids anymore, and they weren't a team.

Gai was sharing with Kakashi (who, if rumor was correct, had been the one to request the arrangement) and Genma was sharing with Aoba. Ebisu had someone he was sharing with as well.

They weren't sharing, but that didn't mean Genma wasn't going to track them down and make sure that they had some kind of medical-nin nearby. They both got injured a lot, Gai especially. And since Gai would be guarding Kakashi's back, that mean he would be fighting against opponents that would probably outclass him. Well, they all were, weren't they?

And Ebisu healed the slowest out of them all. And he never paid attention to his back, so his partner had better be good.

Gai's voice was easy enough to follow to it's source. He was talking, joking with his students. Kakashi leaned against a nearby pole and pretended he wasn't watching the teenagers that swarmed the camp. Genma wasn't worried about the kids- they were plenty strong, and they had plenty of time to grow into their power instead of desperately scrambling to learn to stay alive. They would be fine.

It was the adults who had already scraped through one war that Genma was more worried about.

Gai glanced at him, and his wide smile grew even larger. "Genma!"

"Yo, Gai. I was looking for you."

Sakura looked up from where she was nearby. She would be their medical-nin? Genma could live with that. She was pretty good. "What is it that you need Genma?"

"Mmm, I was wondering if you wanted to come by my tent for a quick drink tomorrow night. I was going to go look for Ebisu as well."

Kakashi glanced up sharply. Genma caught his one eye, and twisted up one eyebrow. Kakashi stared back, silently and impassively until Genma was the one forced to look away, where Gai had a contemplative look on his face.

"So, you up or not?"

"I will be there."

Kakashi sighed. "I'm going to go work on some more plans."

"Kakashi-" Gai started, and cut himself off as Kakashi disappeared into the tent.

"Genma, I will be there. I promise."

Ebisu was harder to find, but he also promised to be there.

And that's when the first attack began.

It lead to this situation of course. It was a position that Genma and Ebisu were heartily sick of, and would be rather glad if it stopped sometime soon. Being carried by Gai was an experience in and of itself, and as his teammates they'd been subjected to it too many times.

Gai grinned as he dropped them off at a medical-nin's tent. "I'm going back out into battle with my darling students, but we shall have drinks!"

The two nodded, Genma bleeding profusely from the stomach, and Ebisu with his shattered leg. It was pure luck that Gai had found them, and been able to get them to the medic-nin's.

"I'll hold you too that." Ebisu muttered.

They listened to whatever news trickled in with pale faces.

It sounded bad.

It honestly sounded horrid.

When someone mentioned the death of Neji, the two doubled the amount of alcohol that needed to be available. When the Seventh Gate roared through the battlefield, the nurses immediately began prepping for their newest patient who would no doubt be carried in.

That's when the betting pool half-heartedly started up again.

"So, who do you think is going to be carried in this time, Kakashi or Gai?"

"Gai, it has to be Gai. He opened the Seventh Gate."

Genma crawled closer to the entrance, eyes scanning the battlefield. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, until he saw it an eternity later.

Red.

A crimson elephant.

"A crimson night elephant." Genma said out loud.

Ebisu froze from where he had started helping bandage the less wounded. "A-Are you sure?"

"We saw it once already, didn't we? How could I forget?"

The red figure was burning as bright as the sun.

Ebisu leaned against him, both of them watching the deadly, familiar sight.

"That damn liar. He promised that time. I was planning on…" Ebisu trailed off. Genma knew he'd never know what Ebisu was planning to do to Gai.

Ebisu turned to the nurses, relaying the news. "You can forget about Gai's bed. He won't need it. And you might as well close down the betting pool."

Everyone probably had the strangest looks on their faces, Genma thought. It was perfectly silent behind them at least. One of the medic-nin's inquired softly, "Why might that be, Ebisu, Genma?"

Genma didn't tear his eyes away from the burning red figure. Ebisu was silent, so after a minute, Genma answered the question lingering on the air. "Gai… he just died."

...Make sure to keep your promises.

Gai couldn't move. Even though Papa had told him to run, he couldn't convince his legs to move. To get up, run, and use the precious time that his papa was buying his team to run. To live.

"Gai! C'mon Gai! We need too-" Ebisu's snarl cut off midway. Gai wondered if that was a good thing, when suddenly he could feel himself being lifted into the air.

He couldn't form a protest, or even do much more then stare at the red-burning figure that blazed with the crimson of his own blood. The heart had stopped as well. A person only lived as long as it took for the blood to evaporate right out of their body.

Papa was probably in a lot of pain…

Papa?

"P-Papa?"

"Sorry Gai, we don't stand a chance. The best we can do is run away." Ebisu was usually exasperated and yelling at him, but right now his voice was surprisingly soft. "Maybe if we get back to Konoha fast enough we'll be able to get help-"

"He's already dead." Gai could hear his voice as if it was coming from a great distance away. "He opened the Eighth Gate. Your heart stops and your blood evaporates from your body and you die."

Genma may or may not of sucked in his breath, but it was lost under the sudden, deep turmoil Gai's mind was in.

What was Papa doing out here? Had he followed them? Why would he follow them? What was going on? Maybe it wasn't really Papa who was giving up his life to let them escape. Maybe… No, he needed to face the truth… He needed…

There was a water droplet trail beginning to mark their path, Gai noticed. He covered his eyes, and sniffed loudly. "I-I think I can walk."

Ebisu was panting pretty heavily when he snapped back, "Probably not fast enough!"

"Bu-"

"Shut up Gai." Genma said. Gai wondered how exactly it was said- he couldn't place the tone. "Your shaking like a leaf. The chances of you walking are slim."

"Sure wish you could walk." Ebisu groused. "You aren't light."

Gai sniffled again. He rubbed his eyes harder, but even more tears were beginning to fall. "Sorry. Sorry. I'm-"

"Okay, you apologizing for anything is even freakier!" Ebisu's panted words twisted further into Gai's guts. Genma sighed loudly.

Gai wasn't expecting a warm hand to pat his back folded over Ebisu's shoulder. "We don't mind if you cry Gai. It's okay."

Another team might've cried together, but neither Genma nor Ebisu knew Papa at all. They weren't connected, and… it had been a long, long time since he had been given any kind of kindness by someone near his age. It was the first time, actually.

The tears and snot began to fall in earnest. "I'll pay you guys back! I promise! Five times over! I'll carry you guys wherever you need starting from tomorrow. I'll pay you back for this! So thanks."

There would be no time to mourn when they got back to Konoha. They would have to tell the Hokage, he would send out some powerful people out to the spot, and the entire incident would be covered up to keep panic down. There would be questions, there would be no funeral. He'd have to put on his biggest smile and pretend nothing happened. He wouldn't be able to cry, his fathers words keeping it back like a wall.

But for now Gai let his teammates carry him and wept.

a/n: Those three were probably the worst teammates you could get all around, but even so, after fighting and nearly dieing together you tend to make some kind of bonds. And they were there to witness Dai's death, so I figured, why not?