The Right Path

Summary: AU S2 Unable to find grounds for a divorce from Vera, Bates stays away from Downton and Anna until fate intervenes with a chance meeting in London.

Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey. Shocking, I know, but no offense is intended by the borrowing of these fine characters.

A/N: This began as a "what if" alternate season/series 2 and 3. The premise is that Bates never found the necessary evidence to prove Vera's infidelity which would have allowed him to seek a divorce. Instead, he stays in London and away from Anna for over two years until fate intervenes in their lives. Reviews are appreciated.

He left for Anna's sake, really. While he hated the notion of enveloping Lord Grantham and his family in the sort of scandal Vera had threatened, in the end, he left Downton for the woman he loved. Bates suspected that the story of the Turkish diplomat's death was true, although it did not really matter. Anna's role in the tale would ensure her ruin just as certainly as it would guarantee Lady Mary's.

Two and a half years had passed since that fateful day, and every one of them was a misery for Bates. He simply existed, spending his days working in a restaurant kitchen and his nights tending bar. Truthfully, working two jobs was not strictly necessary, but the more time he spent away from the house and Vera, the better. During his free time, he read in the park or took long walks through the city.

He gave his wife no money and brought home little food or drink, forcing her to get a job if she wanted more than the bare essentials living in his mother's house afforded. She raged at him at every opportunity, but Bates had learned that her harsh words and insults no longer held any sting. Nothing she could say or do would ever approach the pain she'd caused at making him leave Downton. And Anna.

"Maybe you should just go back to your harlot," she remarked icily one evening as he returned home, her barbed tone laced with the familiar accent of too much scotch. How she got the alcohol, he knew not, although he suspected her of selling some of his mother's possessions.

"I would return to Downton, gladly," he said.

Vera glared at him through bloodshot eyes. "Like I would ever let you go, my philandering, pathetic excuse for a husband," she sneered sarcastically.

"If I'm such a terrible husband, why force me to stay?"

"To punish you."

So went most of their conversations. Next she would be asking for money.

"I need to buy food," she said, her voice suddenly changing to a plea. "Food and some new clothes."

"Then get a job," he suggested.

"Why should I work when it is your responsibility to provide for me?"

"I will give you as much money as you want if you grant me a divorce."

Shaking her head slowly, she pronounced, "Never."

"Then live without food and clothes," he told her before going to his bedroom. Thankfully, his mother's house had enough space for them to sleep separately. He shuddered at the thought of having to share a bed with Vera. And after she'd tried to crawl in with him several times, drunk and naked, he'd begun to lock his door at night.

Mostly, Bates found what joy he could in life through simple pleasures. He read a lot - books and poetry and newspapers. He talked to people at his work, both customers at the bar and the cook at the restaurant where he worked. He could sometimes achieve a sort of peace as he peeled potatoes and discussed philosophy with Steven as the other man took breaks from the kitchen.

And at night, he dreamed of Anna.

He so longed for a glimpse of her. Sometimes he thought about writing to her, just to see how she was doing. He could use the address at the restaurant to ensure Vera did not intercept their correspondence. But just as quickly as the notion occurred to him, he discarded it.

Bates had no right to interrupt Anna's life again. He had already done enough damage in breaking her heart.

I'd live in sin with you.

The memory of her words tortured him as they made a never-ending loop in his mind. On the one hand, he could have been happy with her, living together as a lovers instead of a respectable husband and wife. Bates suspected that he could have made her reasonably happy as well. But at the same time, such a life would have been bought at the expense of Anna's reputation and honor, and possibly even her future. After all, what would she do if something happened to him? She would be left alone, known to everyone as both a fornicator and adulterer.

Bates refused to treat her so cruelly. Anna deserved more than that, even if he was forced to give her up so she could find it with someone else.

Besides Vera, his friend Steven was the only one who knew about Anna.

"You should go see her," he advised.

Sighing in resignation, Bates responded, "I can't. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"You must really love this girl," Steven laughed. "I've never seen a more miserable bloke than you, John."

"I just wish I knew how she was getting on," he lamented.

"You mean you want to know if she's moved on," Steven said knowingly.

"I hope she has, I really do. She deserves to be happy, and I can't give her that, not while I'm married to Vera."

"I'm sorry, mate. That's a tough break."

Steven clapped him on the back before returning to work, whistling as he went. While the cook sympathized with his situation, he could not really understand it seeing as how he had a wonderful wife at home and more children than he could count. Bates envied his friend's life.

Picking up another in a large pile of unpeeled potatoes, he allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy of sharing such a future with Anna. He could see her surrounded by children as she kept their small house neat and tidy. They would share a bed, unlike he and Vera, and he would spend as much time in her company as he could, even stealing home on lunch breaks for just a moment with her.

But Bates knew that all his imaginings would only ever be that - a fantasy.

That afternoon, as he walked from the restaurant to a tea room where he liked to stop before heading to his second job, he saw a familiar face on the sidewalk walking towards him. The sight of the woman warmed him and he found himself grinning despite himself. She lit up similarly as she recognized his figure.

"Mister Bates," she said, stopping in front of him. "Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

"It is good to see you, Mrs. Hughes," he greeted her. They simply looked at each other for a moment, each taking the other in. She had not changed a bit in the nearly three years since he'd left Downton.

"What brings you to London?" he asked casually.

"The family is in town for the season," she explained. "Almost everyone is at the house here. Only Mrs. Patmore, Mr. Carson, and a few of the housemaids are still at Downton."

Bates nodded in understanding. "And how are you doing, Mr. Bates?" she asked more jovially. "We'd hoped you might write to let us know how you were getting on."

"I'm well enough, thank you," he answered, although she could likely see the misery in his eyes. Everyone else could. Forcing himself to ignore her sympathetic expression, he asked quietly, "How is... everyone?"

"Well, you may have heard that Lady Sybil has gotten married."

Smiling, Bates said, "Yes, I did hear. There was a great deal of talk about Lady Sybil and Mr. Branson's marriage. But I'm glad for them. And I heard Lady Mary and Mr. Crawley have gotten engaged."

"That they have," Mrs. Hughes confirmed, "Although they certainly took their time going about it. But there has been bad news as well. Poor William was killed in the war."

Closing his eyes as he sighed at the news, Bates said, "That is terrible news. So many lives were lost. How did Daisy take it?"

"Actually, they brought him home to die, and she agreed to marry him just before it happened. I think the poor thing probably got pushed into it a bit, but at least she'll get some benefits as his widow."

Bates had always liked both William and Daisy, and he hated learning of the young man's death, although he ventured to think that if he'd died with the young kitchen maid by his side - as his wife - then he likely died happy.

"And how is..." He paused, barely able to complete the question. Finally, he forced it out. "How is she, Mrs. Hughes?"

The woman regarded him a moment before speaking. "She gets on well enough, although she suffered a great deal after you left."

"I had no wish to hurt her. I hope you know that."

"Oh, I do, Mr. Bates, I do. Actually," she said, looking embarrassed, "I have a confession to make. When I let you and Mrs. Bates have tea in my sitting room, I did so with an ulterior motive. There's a grate in the wall, you see, and I'm ashamed to admit that I listened in to your conversation."

He smiled at her, more amused than irritated. "I suspected something of the sort, but I didn't know about the grate. But that means you know why I had to leave."

"You were protecting the family. And Anna."

"Yes," he agreed. "Especially Anna."

It hurt to say her name out loud, especially to someone who knew him as well as Mrs. Hughes.

"I didn't tell her, you know, not what Mrs. Bates threatened to reveal."

"Good. I didn't want her to know. Is she still at Downton?" he inquired. The housekeeper's eyes betrayed her understanding of his real question.

Had she married someone else?

"Yes, she is. She's now a proper lady's maid to Lady Mary."

"Very good," Bates acknowledged, letting out the breath he'd been holding.

Mrs. Hughes hesitated a moment before confiding softly, "She still loves you, Mister Bates."

His shoulders slumped. Elation at her words mixed with guilt that Anna had not moved on. How could he ever forgive himself for hurting her?

"Part of me hoped she would find someone else," he admitted.

"I think there's little chance of that."

The hopelessness of the situation struck Bates, and for a moment, he allowed himself to enjoy the rarity of being able to talk to someone about it, someone who knew both him and Anna.

"I never had any right to her love, Mrs. Hughes," he stated. "But she gave it so freely, and I... I let myself entertain the possibility of actually being happy with her. I proposed to her, before Vera came back. Did you know that? We were making plans for when I thought I could get a divorce."

Mrs. Hughes gently patted his arm. "So I take it Mrs. Bates is still... Mrs. Bates?" she asked.

"Unfortunately. She refuses to consent to a divorce and the attorneys I have consulted say I have no grounds to file if she fights it. And if I leave, she's threatened to sell her story to the papers out of spite."

"Perhaps you should just let her... You seem so miserable, Mr. Bates, and that isn't healthy. Lady Mary will survive the scandal."

Bates shook his head. "Maybe she would, but not Anna. Anna isn't the daughter of an Earl, and her reputation would be irreparably damaged."

"You worry about Anna's reputation a great deal," Mrs. Hughes observed.

"Before I left, she told me... she told me to let Vera ruin her," he said, almost choking on his emotions. "She was standing there in tears, her heart broken, and she said that didn't care what people might say, that she'd live in sin with me."

Just repeating the words out loud sounded wrong, as though he were sullying her with the very thought. But if he expected the housekeeper to be shocked, he was sorely disappointed. She only formed her lips into a thin line and patted his arm again softly. "I believe she would, very happily."

"I couldn't do that to her," Bates hissed, despising himself. "She deserves so much more than I can ever offer. But at the very least, I can't ask her to give up everything she has now just to be with me. I can think of nothing more selfish on my part."

"It isn't selfish to want a little joy out of life," she offered.

"It is if I hurt her to get it."

"I wish you could see how unhappy she is with you gone," Mrs. Hughes ventured. "She's still the same Anna on the outside, but for those of us who know her best, its like her inner light has dimmed. She's not herself without you around."

Bates let out a ragged breath at the image she painted. He'd never intended to cause Anna pain, not for one moment. He should have left Downton as soon as she admitted her feelings for him that day on the road. He should never have begun making plans with her. Or kissed her. Or let her fall so far in love with him.

"You should come and see her while we're all still in London."

He looked sharply at the housekeeper, the suggestion startling him. His heart beat wildly at the prospect of seeing Anna again, but he had to refuse. Unable to face her, unable to torture her further with his presence, he had to refuse. Nothing with Vera was settled. His hopes for a divorce were all but gone.

"I can't," he said. "It wouldn't be right."

"At least think about it. I know she's been worried about you."

He inclined his head, a silent acquiescence to her request. With a start he realized that he would be late for work. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Hughes, but I have to go to my other job..."

"Your other job?" she asked.

"During the day I work in the kitchen at a restaurant, mostly just doing prep work. In the evenings I work at a pub down yonder." He nodded down the street.

"Well, then I won't keep you. You know where the house is here in town, I imagine."

"I do know where it is," Bates affirmed.

"Then I hope to see you again soon."

"Mrs. Hughes, I can't promise-"

Holding up a hand to stop him, she said, "I know, I know. And I find your restraint very honorable, Mr. Bates, if not a bit daft and verging on martyrdom. Just think about what I've said, is all I ask."

"I will. I definitely will."

The conversation with Mrs. Hughes stayed with Bates the rest of the evening, and even as he laid down in his bed late that night, he could not get it out of his head. He heard Vera through the door out in the sitting room, laughing as she drunkenly stumbled through the house. The wall shook and then he heard something made of glass break. Bates ran his hands through his hair as he stared up at the dark ceiling.

He had to see Anna. The need grew within him like a wild thing, uncontrolled and unstoppable. The only thing to sate it was a glimpse of her. Resolving the next day to at least investigate Lord Grantham's London house, Bates finally fell asleep.

TBC