When Sharona and Adrian pulled up to her house, she frowned. There was
something not right...something out of place. Something that...
Then it hit her. The peeling blue car, with it's ripped leather interior and faded license plate, with it's many dents and dings, with one semi- working headlight. That atrocious piece of lawn décor was AUNT MARGE'S!! What?? She wasn't supposed to be here till tomorrow!!
Sharona felt her eye beginning to twitch. Dammit, she though she'd gotten rid of that in the sixth grade. It didn't matter now...with no time to prepare Monk for the atrociousness that was Aunt Marge...Sharona groaned.
Monk blinked and looked around. Then he pulled his sleeve up over his hand and tapped Sharona on the shoulder. "Um, Sharon? Why are you, well, why are you banging your head on the steering wheel?"
Sharona whapped her forehead once more on the fuzzy green cover on her wheel, then replied in a muffled voice, "I'm trying to kill myself before SHE does."
"SHE?" Monk just sounded amused now.
"Yes, Adrian. That...that she devil in blue eyeshadow! That turkey-whore who would like nothing better for me to take you in and have you make a fool of yourself in front of her and Gail and EVERYONE!" Sharona was now attempting to smoother herself with bright blue fuzzy dice hanging from her mirror.
"Sharona.?"
There was the slam of a door, and Sharona looked up dramatically. "My life is over as I know it." She whispered it like it was some deep and profound proverb.
Monk straightened his tie and smiled politely at the sour looking cow of a woman who was marching in their general direction. "'I am significant,' cried the dust speck."
"No, no Adrian, when Aunt Marge is the universe, you don't even amount to a dust speck. I, however, seem to rank somewhere in the neighborhood of Pluto." Sharona peeped over her fuzzy dice, looking straight at Monk.
"Don't worry Sharona, I'd rather be Pluto in your universe than the sun in Marge's." Monk gave her that adorable teddy-bear smile that made her melt every time.
"Adrian, let's go meet Aunt Marge."
Then it hit her. The peeling blue car, with it's ripped leather interior and faded license plate, with it's many dents and dings, with one semi- working headlight. That atrocious piece of lawn décor was AUNT MARGE'S!! What?? She wasn't supposed to be here till tomorrow!!
Sharona felt her eye beginning to twitch. Dammit, she though she'd gotten rid of that in the sixth grade. It didn't matter now...with no time to prepare Monk for the atrociousness that was Aunt Marge...Sharona groaned.
Monk blinked and looked around. Then he pulled his sleeve up over his hand and tapped Sharona on the shoulder. "Um, Sharon? Why are you, well, why are you banging your head on the steering wheel?"
Sharona whapped her forehead once more on the fuzzy green cover on her wheel, then replied in a muffled voice, "I'm trying to kill myself before SHE does."
"SHE?" Monk just sounded amused now.
"Yes, Adrian. That...that she devil in blue eyeshadow! That turkey-whore who would like nothing better for me to take you in and have you make a fool of yourself in front of her and Gail and EVERYONE!" Sharona was now attempting to smoother herself with bright blue fuzzy dice hanging from her mirror.
"Sharona.?"
There was the slam of a door, and Sharona looked up dramatically. "My life is over as I know it." She whispered it like it was some deep and profound proverb.
Monk straightened his tie and smiled politely at the sour looking cow of a woman who was marching in their general direction. "'I am significant,' cried the dust speck."
"No, no Adrian, when Aunt Marge is the universe, you don't even amount to a dust speck. I, however, seem to rank somewhere in the neighborhood of Pluto." Sharona peeped over her fuzzy dice, looking straight at Monk.
"Don't worry Sharona, I'd rather be Pluto in your universe than the sun in Marge's." Monk gave her that adorable teddy-bear smile that made her melt every time.
"Adrian, let's go meet Aunt Marge."