AN; This story excites me because I can make just about anything happen if I chose. Infinite possibilities and likewise infinite repercussions are the butter for which my bread be covered. For instance, and this is important if you want to read this story, 'B+H' does not follow any one continuity within the DC universe. It takes elements from the classics, New 52, Earth One and the Arkhamverse to name just a few. So some events may have occurred, some not, or they may have occurred but with totally different details and effects. For now, just picture that both Batman and Harley are from the 'Batman Animated Series', though that will change over the course of the story.

Also, the rating and the genres may also change as we progress, so be warned.

Nature vs. Nurture Arc

Batman, secretly the billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, had devoted decades of his life in attaining the peak capacity for physical, mental and spiritual performance. He had fought crime in Gotham, staved off threats to the entire world and had even prevented galactic destruction by traveling through time as a living bomb. His rouges gallery could literally fill a book and his friends and allies were the closest to gods that any mortal could dream to achieve. He was the spirit of the night, unflappable in even the direst of circumstance, unwavering in his quest for justice and his fight against crime.

"Huh?" was all he could manage.

The reason for his confusion was that one of his above-mentioned villains, Harlene Frances Quinzel, a.k.a. Harley Quinn, had just asked for his help. Begged more like it. She had set an elaborate trap involving an endangered 'citizen', really just one of her henchmen, and had immediately accosted him as he arrived in usual fashion of fluttering material and a shadow that seemed to just drop in from the sky.

Expecting a fight, he had been forgivably taken aback by a teary-eyed Quinn as she blubbered like a child that had skinned her knee. The plea for help was obvious, but Batman was nothing if not suspicious. He and Harley had been on opposite sides of the law for near enough ten years for him to no longer count. Chances of rehabilitation for the former psychiatrist were barely even feasible after half a lifetime of crime and killings.

And yet here she was, crying to her worst enemy in hopes of assistance. Bruce's first thought was to twist her arms around and cuff her and drop her on the GCPD's front step. But, on retrospect, every one of the scant few times she or other such villain had sought his help, it had usually been genuine, at least until his help was no longer needed at which they betrayed him readily. But he had always harbored a spot of pity for the tragic ones, like Harley, of Fries.

"Harley. Harley!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her until the tears had stopped and she was looking at him mutely, inky tracks of runny make up leaving her chalky face a mess. "Tell me, in a concise and calm manner, exactly why you need help, why you sought me, and why I should care." She swallowed that hard lump that always appeared after crying, mentally readying herself for a conversation with the Batman.

"Mistah' J has been missin' fer weeks, longer than he's ever been away. At first I thought it was just him cookin' up anotha' plan ta kill you or Commissioner Gordon, or release his gas in tha' city. But I haven't heard anything about him through any of our contacts, or even the others like Cobblepot of Pammy. He's just gone!" She exclaimed growing hysterical again. Bruce quickly subverted this with a slap. "I needed that," she admitted.

"I haven't heard anything on the Joker in two months," Batman agreed, beginning to wonder exactly what the Clown Prince of Crime was up to now. He had done this before, usually before orchestrating and performing an atrocious act that nearly pushed the Batman into snapping the smiling criminal's spine like so much kindling. The most vivid in his memory was when Jason Todd had been beaten near death before he and his mother had perished in an explosion. He couldn't let that happen again.

"Have you learned anything else? Anything that might pertain to his disappearance?" He probed. Quinn thought for a minute, no doubt have only focused on Joker the whole time.

"A few of tha' others have up and vanished as well; Scarecrow, Croc, and Zsasz over the past couple a' months. Didn't think nothin' of it then, but now I think that there's a connection now that you mention it."

Again, Batman confessed that he hadn't heard anything of the other villains either. It seemed that they had just fell of the face of the Earth, somewhere where even his vast resources couldn't follow. Usually.

Releasing his hold on the blonde, he began to ponder the situation thoroughly. Whenever any of his nemeses pooled resources against him it usually spelt trouble. But five of his worst were unaccounted for and that was a possible catastrophe for Gotham. This was something he couldn't dare to neglect, for fear of the casualty rate of civilians caught in the cross fire. So far, his only lead was Quinn, having done her own investigation into the matter, if only to find the Joker.

"Red Robin," Batman spoke through his com-link. It took a few seconds for the voice recognition system to patch him through to the right receiver, but soon enough he could hear the very familiar sounds of a brawl.

"What's up boss?" Tim Drake cheerfully quipped, obviously untroubled by his current predicament.

"What's your current status?" Bruce asked back, getting a queer look from Harley, who could only see the Dark Knight talking to himself.

"Riddler thought it would be funny if he stole the Gotham Reserve. Unfortunately for his question marked butt, "asparagus" wasn't a very difficult answer." There was another cry of pain from one of the thugs the teenager was facing, probably a dislocated wrist by the sound of it.

"I've found something that might take me into a long-term investigation. Could you cover for me for a little while?"

"Sure thing. I might need to contact another previous boy wonder but I can handle it. What's the case?"

"Joker, Killer Croc, Victor Zsasz, Scarecrow and Scarface gave all gone missing over the past few months. I thought it was probably nothing but another of their poorly conceived team-ups, but Harley Quinn just contacted me asking for help in finding the Joker."

"And she is not likin' this conversation that she can't even hear!" Harley shouted to be heard on the comm. Batman gave her a withering look, but she only seemed to get more annoyed by this, having learned long ago that his punches were far more painful than his looks.

"She actually asked for your help?" Tim guffawed, followed by the distinct 'thwack' of a metal rod connecting with an unprotected shin.

"Yes, even making up a false hostage situation in public to get my attention. I think I hear sirens now." At his words, Harley began to look nervously around for the source of the sounds, but remarkably enough, didn't flee.

"Can you get your little chat done with so we can get outta here?" She pleaded, shifting from foot to foot.

"I'll let you know when I have more," Bruce signed off from the link and again turned to look fully at the Joker's girlfriend/punching bag. "'We'?" He inquired flatly. She glared at him before poking him in the chest.

"Lookee her Bats; if they's really missing and not for a slumbah party, than I need to find Mistah J and fast. You need all the help you can get and I have the connections with the underground that you can't even touch without the rest of us knowing so don't even try!"

Bruce felt his patience waning the more she spoke. It was true that all of the major villains had some kind of system to alert each other of his appearances when stopping some big heist or kidnapping, preventing him from tracking the others down for days. It was infuriating at best and an absolute nightmare at worst. If Harley could indeed contact this network for news, than she was still valuable to this investigation and not yet a liability.

Making his decision just as the first squad car rounded the corner towards the now cleared out carnival, Batman grabbed Harley around the waist and fired his grappling hook upwards towards the gargoyles of a nearby building, the two of them zipping into the air in a flash, leaving a very annoyed thug dangling over a pit of water which had supposedly been filled with piranhas, but they hadn't had the money for them and Harley wasn't trying to kill him in any case. Just leave him for the pigs.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

"It's been awhile since I've been in this wagon," Harley murmured, eyeing the inside of the Batmobile eagerly, red light making her usual make up appear more gaunt than usual. Behind the steering wheel, Batman tried to forget that experience as best he could, though to little success as the harlequin kept blabbering on about "good times". Not the choice of words he would have used, but hey.

"Tell me where this network is; we can get that over with now and you can enjoy your padded cell at Arkham again until you somehow bust out, again." Harley shook her head at him, pigtails waving obnoxiously in the cramped space.

"Doesn't work that way at night. If one of us or the boys comes a' callin at night, askin' questions about each other, they's supposed to assume that you made us come or are otherwise involved. See, we only get the warnings at night 'cause that's usually all we need. We can go there in the morning."

Batman nearly jammed the brakes in right there, but years of experience allowed him to keep most of his composure as he rounded on the blonde, auto-pilot taking over for a bit.

"In the morning?! Do you expect me to tolerate you until sun up?" Now she was shrinking away from him, having nowhere to escape from his wrath to. But, admirably, she didn't start crying again.

"It's the system. We know you don't operate in the day as much so we made it that way. Well, truth be told it was mostly Hatter, Eddie n' Clayface dun thought it up," she admitted quietly, apparently forgetting that she was revealing one of their greatest assets against him and his crime fighting family. "We named it 'The Bird Watch'. Sneaky right?" She elbowed him, attempting to extract a compliment. Another glare was sent her way.

"Bats are not birds," he stated simply.

"Y' see, that's the beauty of it; we're all talkin of birds when really we mean bats, robins, all of 'em." She adopted a deeper voice, apparently trying to mimic Clayface. "Oh are you coming to the bird watch later? I heard they discovered a new breed of sparrow by the Felton Building on Wednesday."

Batman blinked in surprise. He occasionally added the Felton Plaza as part of his patrol route, and if what Harley said was true, then the criminals were watching him and learning his schedules. That was a disturbing fact, but one that clicked with other bits of information he had accumulated and theories he had crafted.

"And what if I make someone tell me the location of The Bird Watch?" He inquired. She seemed all too willing to spill the secrets of this dark network.

"Well, it changes locations every few days or so. And if we catch wind of Batman, you, snagging someone who knows the current location they immediately close up shop and go to mattresses for awhile. So even though Imma gonna take you's to The Watch tomorrow, the place'll be cleaned out come midnight and you won't have a lick of a clue to track 'em."

Well, that explained why she seemed so open right now. She hadn't been carelessly throwing away secrets that were invaluable, but rather ones that he would feasibly acquire on his own. Perhaps she was insane, but she wasn't nearly as stupid as she seemed.

"So where are we shacking up for the night?" Quinn quizzed, looking out the window as streetlights zoomed past like shooting stars. She had a point. He couldn't let her loose for fear of collateral damage she may cause, and he couldn't take her back to the Batcave for obvious reasons. That left him with very limited options.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Carlton Milton had lived in Gotham City for the past twenty-two years of his life, and he had been the owner/clerk of the "Nighty-Night" hotel for the past twelve. Very rarely had anything of import ever happened near his off the way street, even with the notorious villains and criminals running around the dark city. Perhaps the most noteworthy event was when they had seen Batman and Catwoman chasing each other high up on the parapets of the nearby skyscrapers.

Tonight, he was sitting behind his lonely desk, looking over last week's half-finished crossword puzzle. '19 Down, fast paced songs from the play depicting the comical pirates of this region.' He heard the door chime as someone entered his little abode, but he was too focused on the puzzle to look up, merely sliding an information card and pen across to where the newcomer could fill it out. 'Eight letters.'

"I believe the answer is Penzance," A deep voice supplied. Looking closely at the column of empty squares, Milton wrote down the name and was overjoyed to find that it fit perfectly.

"Hey, thanks mister-"he looked up and stopped in mid-sentence as he beheld the world's greatest detective finish filling out the card and held it for Carlton to take back, which the older man did, eventually, after simply gawking at the specter of the night. "Room 16," Milton weakly mumbled as he handed him the key to his room.

"Thank you. Good night," Batman responded, seeming to bleed out of the room like a shadow, heading towards the stairs with a red and black clad figure Carlton had previously overlooked . She gave him a jaunty wave before skipping up the stairwell under Batman's watchful eyes.

Carlton Milton leaned back in his office chair, exhaling slowly. One of his tenants was the one and only Batman. Looking down at the info card still in his hands, he vowed to have it framed the very next day and hung right above his desk for everyone to see it. But first, something of high importance called that he could not in good faith ignore.

'33 across, a self-contained country within a country, eleven letters.'