A/N: so I'm kinda sad that thoughts aren't italicized and Kyuubi's lines aren't bonded and italicized, but I'm too lazy to go back through and fix it. Anyway, a new chapter. It's 1.5k words, so I'm moving up from those 500 word chapters. Still short compared to other authors though. I must be one of the weirdest authors on this site in my updating and such.

Anyways, on with the story.

Alright, so maybe Jiraiya had gotten tired of meditating. And maybe he had started writing down ideas for his next book.

But he had NOT. I repeat, NOT, forgotten about it. That's his story and he's sticking to it.

Anyway, Jiraiya was still stuck on what to do. He was also bewildered with the child. Like, what the fuck was that at the campfire? He wasnt talking with the nine tails, was he?

Nah. The kids smart. Kinda. He wouldn't talk with the very apparition of hate.

So what to do with him?

He had only come up with two solutions to that problem. Either a) bring him back to Konoha or b) go with the kid. He really didn't like those options.

Idea A is technically the right thing to do, but Idea B is what Naruto wanted. Could he really be the asshole to bring Naruto back to a place he left? Well, yes. But the thing is he didn't want to be the asshole this time. He wanted to be the good guy. Which left him with idea B, where he let Naruto free and went about on his jolly way. And, while that idea seems great on the surface, it wasn't plausible given the circumstances.

He was a fucking 10 year old. He wasn't just gonna leave him to take on the world and it's cruelties all by himself.

There was always option three which was, technically, the best of both worlds. But he really didn't wanna have to deal with that.

'But it's my only real solution.' Jiraiya sighed. He really didn't want to get a new apprentice, but sometimes you had to take one for the team.

And later, when Minato was yelling at him for whatever, he could always bring this up.

He smiled to himself. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

Naruto didn't know what to make of what the old man just offered him.

"Apprentice? Why would I want to be your apprentice?"

He actually looked offended by those words.

"What do you mean why would you want to be my apprentice? Everyone wants to be my apprentice."

Naruto snorted. 'Yeah right. And I'm gonna be the next Hokage.' He thought before he answered. "Look, old man-"

"I'm not that old" Jiraiya interjected.

"- you have white hair. Anyway. Old man, I'm not everyone. I just wanna be left on my own and figure out things myself."

It was Jiraiyas turn to snort. "You, figure things out? You don't look smart enough to do that."

Naruto was indignant at the sarge's words. "Yeah," Jiraiya continued," I mean just look at you. A what, 10, 11 year old? Yeah. You've just gotta be the smartest person out there. I'm sure not even the Nara's could rival you."

"That's an unfair comparison." Naruto offered weakly.

"Yeah, so? Life is unfair kid, and I'm offering you an opportunity to make it slightly less so and you don't even give it real consideration."

'Take his tutelage brat.' The Kyuubi interjected. 'You need the instruction and I'm not gonna give it to you.'

'Thats cause you're a lazy bastard. But fine. If the great Nined tailed Fox believes it would be beneficial for me, then I'll do it. Happy?'

'Very, in fact.'

"Yo, kid. You okay? You did your whole zone out thing again. Did you hurt your brain thinking too hard?"

"I was just thinking."

"And you didn't hurt your brain did you? I'd hate to have to teach someone incompetent."

"For the last time," Naruto shouted, "I'm not stupid"

Jiraiya just picked his nose nonchalantly. "Uh-huh. Sure you're not. Now what's the answer? Yes or fuck yes?"

"I'm gonna have to go with the mundane yes." Naruto answered. "Now could you stop calling me stupid?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "I don't know. Can you stop being stupid?"

"I haven't done anything stupid yet though!" He protested.

"Yet? So you planned on doing something stupid. I think I know just the thing to fix that." Jiraiya nodded to himself. "It's perfect. So, as my first decree as master, I say 50 push ups."

Naruto immediately began to protest. "50 push ups? I'm 10 years old. I can't do that."

Jiraiya got a wicked gleam in his eye, "Oh this just became way more satisfying."

Naruto gulped before he got down and started doing push ups. He was regretting his decision to apprentice under the old man already. What made it worse was that he could hear that damned fox laughing in the back of his head.

Naruto didn't know wether to welcome the distraction of the old man's training or curse it with everything he had. Somehow he ended up choosing the former over the latter.

So throughout the day he embraced whatever challenge Jiraiya had thrown at him. At some point it stopped being training and just Jiraiya fucking with him. Did Naruto care though? No. He was just happy to be doing something. To not be thinking.

It wasn't until that night that any of this occurred to the red head though. It also wasn't until that night that the fox decide to deign Naruto with his wisdom.

'Distraction isn't the right way to deal with your problems.' The Kyuubi spoke up from behind his cage.

Naruto sneered at the fox but ignored him.

The great beast sighed. He really hated his prison sometimes. Not that he didn't always hate being caged within the human, but somedays it was worse than others.

'You have to deal with your problems. If you leave them to fester they will just destroy you from the inside out.'

Naruto just snuggled deeper into his sleeping bag, pretending he didn't hear the Kyuubi.

The beast growled at that. He wouldn't be disrespected as such.

'Warden! I am trying to form you into a being of power. Do not ignore me!'

'I'll do whatever I want.' Naruto thought back to the fox. 'Now kindly fuck off.'

'Do not anger me boy. Everything I've helped you with has been from my own kindness, do not think you have any power over me.'

'Yeah well who said I wanted your help? I'd rather you just leave me alone.'

'Fine!' The Kyuubi bellowed in Naruto's mind 'I shall leave. But remember this foolish warden. You've crossed me, and I don't rest until I've had my vengeance on those who have crossed me.'

Naruto snorted. The Fox thought he could intimidate him. Ha, as if. He had known the beast long enough to know it couldn't actually do anything while it was locked up.

Could it?

That night, Naruto couldn't stay asleep. He didn't know if it was the fox just being vindictive or his own mind, but either way he didn't appreciate seeing Inari's death every time he closed his eyes long enough to fall asleep. It was not only unsettling, but a powerful reminder that he failed.

'I could've saved him.' Naruto thought to himself. 'I could've done something I'm sure.'

But he hadn't done anything, and that's what really haunted Naruto. That he just stood by and watched someone who he would consider family die fighting for what they believed in.

'Stop thinking about it Naruto,' he told himself, 'it doesn't solve anything. It doesn't wash his blood off your hands.'

With that melancholy thought, Naruto shoved himself out of the sleeping bag to prepare himself for the day before him. When he got out of his tent he was surprised to see his new sensei already out there doing what looked like meditating.

That certainly surprised Naruto. Even though he'd only known the man for a couple of days he hadn't pegged him as a meditating type.

'Well, you learn something new everyday.' Naruto thought,'something's are just more shocking than others I suppose.'

"Yo," Naruto called out to the Sennin, "what's with the meditating?"

The sudden noise surprised Jiraiya. Something Naruto noticed when a kunai came within inches of scalping him.

Jiraiya blinked when he saw who he threw the ninja knife at, before he shrugged and went back to meditating. That shocked Naruto.

"That's it? You almost scalp your newest student and you just shrug?"

The old man shrugged again. "I didn't scalp you though, so it doesn't really matter now does it?"

"Well you could say sorry or something."

Jiraiya snorted. "I'm not gonna say sorry cause you surprised me and almost paid the price."

Naruto couldn't believe this. First he has to deal with whatever bullshit the Sennin gave him, but now he had to deal with him not caring about his life? Now he was really regretting his decision to accept the apprenticeship.

"Anyway," Jiraiya said while standing up from his mediating position, "on to what we are doing for the day."

"Before that," Naruto interrupted, "you never answered me. What was with you and the meditating? You don't seem like one of those people who would meditate."

"Well consider it your first lesson as my student. Surface appearances aren't everything. You have to look underneath the underneath. Now enough questions. Onto the training. You're gonna start with laps around the clearing. And then once you're done with that, more laps."

"How many laps the for the first set?"

"Until I say stop. Now go!" Jiraiya barked.

Naruto groaned as he started. He just knew he was gonna be sore tomorrow.