From: Marco Polo
Hey so I would like to have sex before I graduate.
Tues, May 5, 4:12 pm
From: Marco Polo
With you.
Tues, May 5, 4:13 pm
From: Jean
Shit shit okay where are you I can be there in 5
Tues, May 5, 4:14 pm
From: Marco Polo
Uh. In the student center?
Tues, May 5, 4:15 pm
From: Marco Polo
I didn't mean right now
Tues, May 5, 4:17 pm
From: Marco Polo
Although now is okay
Tues, May 5, 4:17 pm
From: Jean
Fuck okay coming to snatch you now
Tues, May 5, 4:19 pm
From: Jeannie Boy
SEXILE ALERT! YOU HAVE MAYBE 30 MINS
Tues, May 5, 4:18 pm
From: Jaegermeister
Oh my god it's a tues afternoon wtf jk
Tues, May 5, 4:20 pm
From: Armindo
I second the wtf motion, who on earth is worth me studying for calc in the lounge
Tues, May 5, 4:22 pm
From: Jeannie Boy
ILL TELL YOU LATER AFTER I DO HIM
Tues, May 5, 4:23 pm
From: Jaegermeister
HIM? DO WE KNOW HIM?
Tues, May 5, 4:24 pm
From: Connie Springroll
YEAH GET IT BOI
Tues, May 5, 4:25 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
Oh my actual god you wont believe what I just saw in the stucen
Tues, May 5, 4:24 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
A giant whale catapulting from the ocean into the book fountain
Tues, May 5, 4:26 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
No but that is kickass
Tues, May 5, 4:27 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
JeanK just ran in and grabbed marco polo by the collar
Tues, May 5, 4:28 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
WHATTTTTTTT
Tues, May 5, 4:28 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
Yeah theyre like staring into each others eyes and touching noses and shit
Tues, May 5, 4:29 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
AAAH KISSING?
Tues, May 5, 4:30 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
Oh they stopped. Damn.
Tues, May 5, 4:32 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
Please don't be joking omfg
Tues, May 5, 4:33 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
[IMG_ ] Dead serious
Tues, May 5, 4:34 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
GRAHHHH!
Tues, May 5, 4:36 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
No why are they leaving I wanted to get popcorn
Tues, May 5, 4:38 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
JK sent a sexile text like 5 mins ago I will hide and keep you posted
Tues, May 5, 4:40 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
You are my one true love
Tues, May 5, 4:41 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
I know I know get in line bb
Tues, May 5, 4:27 pm
From: Connie Springroll
ITS MARCO HES FUCKING MARCO
Tues, May 5, 4:30 pm
From: Jaegermeister
OH MY GOD
Tues, May 5, 4:31 pm
From: Armindo
Well at least hes worth me moving to the study room
Tues, May 5, 4:31 pm
From: Connie Springroll
Sash was doing public recon I am going to hide and do private recon
Tues, May 5, 4:33 pm
From: Jaegermeister
Pics or it didn't happen why am I stuck in class
Tues, May 5, 4:35 pm
From: Connie Springroll
Because ur fuckin lame
Tues, May 5, 4:35 pm
From: Connie Springroll
SHIT THEYRE HERE OMG
Tues, May 5, 4:37 pm
From: Jaegermeister
Are they makin out yet
Tues, May 5, 4:38 pm
From: Connie Springroll
I dunno im hiding in my room I don't hear anything gdi
Tues, May 5, 4:39 pm
From: Connie Springroll
THEYRE TOTALLY MAKIN OUT ON MY DOOR SHITFUCK
Tues, May 5, 4:41 pm
From: Armindo
Ruin the mood. Knock.
Tues, May 5, 4:42 pm
From: Jaegermeister
Evil little bastard. Do it.
Tues, May 5, 4:43 pm
From: Connie Springroll
Too late theyre on JK's door now
Tues, May 5, 4:44 pm
From: Connie Springroll
And now theyre in
Tues, May 5, 4:44 pm
From: Jaegermeister
Are they saying anything embarrassing yet
Tues, May 5, 4:47 pm
From: Connie Springroll
Theyre like super quiet actually its freakin me out
Tues, May 5, 4:48 pm
From: Jaegermeister
Make spooky ghost noises
Tues, May 5, 4:49 pm
From: Armindo
Say youre the ghost of hookups past come to spoil his sexual encounters
Tues, May 5, 4:50 pm
From: Jaegermeister
I love you so fuckin much
Tues, May 5, 4:50 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
They have arrived
Tues, May 5, 4:37 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
Fantastic
Tues, May 5, 4:38 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
Theyre makin out ON MY DOOR
Tues, May 5, 4:40 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
OPEN IT DO IT
Tues, May 5, 4:42 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
Eren+armin told me to knock obvs you are the more evil one congrats
Tues, May 5, 4:45 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
I shall wear this title with honor
Tues, May 5, 4:46 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
Omg who else should I tell about this
Tues, May 5, 4:47 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
I dunno are they doin anything crazy/worth mentioning
Tues, May 5, 4:48 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
Uh not really theyre actually like super quiet
Tues, May 5, 4:49 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
I can hear the bed moving but not a lot and no ones saying anything
Tues, May 5, 4:49 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
Borrrriiiinngggggg
Tues, May 5, 4:49 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
I KNOW AND NOW IM STUCK SAVE ME
Tues, May 5, 4:51 pm
From: Sasha Fierce
I could come over and we could have SUPERLOUD sex to make up for it
Tues, May 5, 4:52 pm
From: Bonnie Connie
Now we're talkin get your ass over here
Tues, May 5, 4:53 pm
From: Jaegermeister
ok class is over im coming home to get in on this
Tues, May 5, 4:56 pm
From: Jaegermeister
Coooonnnniiiieeeeeeeee
Tues, May 5, 4:59 pm
From: Connie Springroll
Sorry bros theyre boring as fuck so sash is coming over so we can scream in their ears ;)
Tues, May 5, 5:00 pm
From: Jeagermeister
What omg gross why is my apt full of gross
Tues, May 5, 5:02 pm
From: Armindo
… I wouldn't be opposed to joining the gross…..
Tues, May 5, 5:05 pm
From: Connie Springroll
Hell yeah you two totally come mark the couch up or something well have a sex party
Tues, May 5, 5:06 pm
From: Jaegermeister
Ew, couch? Grosssss. All of this is gross. Sex is gross. Im moving out
Tues, May 5, 5:08 pm
From: Armindo
Yeah I totally meant finding other people not me and eren duh
Tues, May 5, 5:09 pm
From: Connie Springroll
What you mean you two haven't been banging it up over there
Tues, May 5, 5:10 pm
From: Jaegermeister
I AM MOVING OUT
Tues, May 5, 5:11 pm
From: Connie Springroll
DUDES GET YOUR SHITS TOGETHER OMG I CANT BELIEVE THIS
Tues, May 5, 5:12 pm
From: Connie Springroll
SASHA CANT EITHER WE ARE POSTPONING OUR BONING UNTIL THIS HAPPENS
Tues, May 5, 5:13 pm
From: Connie Springroll
EREN GET BACK HERE AND IN ARMINS BED. ARMIN GET IN YOUR BED.
Tues, May 5, 5:13 pm
From: Armindo
Im pretty sure this constitutes as sexual harassment
Tues, May 5, 5:15 pm
From: Connie Springroll
NOT WHEN ITS FATE NOW DROP THE CALC AND ROLL OVER HERE
Tues, May 5, 5:16 pm
From: Eren
HELP CONNIE/SASHA ARE TRYING TO MAKE ME AND ARMIN HAVE SEX
Tues, May 5, 5:11 pm
From: Mikasa
Finally.
Tues, May 5, 5:13 pm
From: Eren
MIIIIKKAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAA
Tues, May 5, 5:14 pm
From: Mi Kasa
I win. Pay up.
Tues, May 5, 5:14 pm
From: Ann.E
No way. Howd you get your boys to hook up before mine. Mine are so. Gay. I don't believe you.
Tues, May 5, 5:16 pm
From: Mi Kasa
Apparently connie+sasha are locking them together somewhere. I win.
Tues, May 5, 5:17 pm
From: Ann.E
Pics or it didn't happen
Tues, May 5, 5:19 pm
From: Mi Kasa
On it
Tues, May 5, 5:21 pm
From: Crazy Scarf Bitch
I need you to let me into your building
Tues, May 5, 5:20 pm
From: Ymir
Make your manbitches do it
Tues, May 5, 5:23 pm
From: Crazy Scarf Bitch
No theyre having sex and I need to break in to collect photographic evidence
Tues, May 5, 5:24 pm
From: Ymir
Shit they haven't done it already? Damn girl I got yo back
Tues, May 5, 5:25 pm
From: Bananannie
I need you to go find bertl and fuck him right now so I don't lose $50
Tues, May 5, 5:19 pm
From: Brauny
What
Tues, May 5, 5:22 pm
From: Bananannie
Just do it
Tues, May 5, 5:23 pm
From: Brauny
Why should I
Tues, May 5, 5:24 pm
From: Bananannie
Because he loves you. He wants your hard dick.
Tues, May 5, 5:25 pm
From: Brauny
Youre lying.
Tues, May 5, 5:27 pm
From: Bananannie
…. Oh my god. You are the dumbest. So dumb. Go find bertl and tell him you want his dick too. Hurry
Tues, May 5, 5:28 pm
From: Brauny
Why do you want me to hurry
Tues, May 5, 5:29 pm
From: Bananannie
Bc I don't have $50 to pay miks with
Tues, May 5, 5:29 pm
From: Reiner
Hey big b where you at
Tues, May 5, 5:30 pm
From: B
Uh at the apt? Why?
Tues, May 5, 5:33 pm
From: Reiner
Because annie's gonna lose a bet if we don't fuck asap
Tues, May 5, 5:35 pm
From: B
WHAT
Tues, May 5, 5:35 pm
From: Reiner
Yeah so do you wanna fuck or not?
Tues, May 5, 5:36 pm
From: B
Uuuuuuuuuhhhhh
Tues, May 5, 5:37 pm
From: Reiner
You got like 2 secs to think about it cause I wanna fuck you so hard
Tues, May 5, 5:37 pm
From: B
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH
Tues, May 5, 5:39 pm
From: Mi Kasa
[IMG_ ] Pay up.
Tues, May 5 5:50 pm
From: Ann.E
Fuck off
Tues, May 5 5:52 pm
From: Ann.E
[IMG_ ] It's a draw
Tues, May 5 5:55 pm
From: Mi Kasa
Take me out to dinner and were even
Tues, May 5 5:57 pm
From: Ann.E
Deal. Meet you at 7 in front of your dorm
Tues, May 5 5:59 pm
From: Ymir
Apparently half of campus is sleeping together atm.
Tues, May 5 6:12 pm
From: Kristoria
People we know?
Tues, May 5 6:14 pm
From: Ymir
Yeah I followed miks to eren+armin's room bc she wanted evidence of them being a thing and sash+con were screeching and jk's door was closed
Tues, May 5 6:16 pm
From: Ymir
And apparently she and annie tied on a bet over who could get their gay best friends to fuck first
Tues, May 5 6:17 pm
From: Kristoria
… Wait marco totally told me he was gonna suck it up and ask jean out or something
Tues, May 5 6:20 pm
From: Ymir
Oh hell no. I bet this is all his fault. Dunno how but I bet it is
Tues, May 5 6:22 pm
From: Kristoria
Well what better time than dead week before we graduate for everyone to sleep together right
Tues, May 5 6:24 pm
From: Ymir
Everyone we know is having sex with each other and its all your fault
Tues, May 5 6:23 pm
From: Freckle Bitch
You know id feel bad. Except that I don't. Bc sex is great
Tues, May 5 7:35 pm
From: Ymir
You do have a point there freckle bitch
Tues, May 5 7:44 pm
From: Freckle Bitch
I got to suck jean's dick and it was the best thing ever
Tues, May 5 8:12 pm
From: Ymir
Never say the word dick to me ever again. But congrats on the sex.
Tues, May 5 8:15 pm
From: Freckle Bitch
C: C:
Tues, May 5 8:39 pm
{A/N: This has been on AO3 for a few weeks, but I figured I should transfer it over here.}