This is my first Castle fic and I hope not the last. I've not written anything in about three years – and writing this has given me a proper boost of adrenaline. I hope some people enjoy. MMMx

Finding More

As she padded around, barefoot, in Castle's kitchen, fixing coffee to his exacting standards, Kate was glad of some time to think. Her mind was blown by what had transpired between them the previous night. It was like moving to a new city and coming home all at the same time.

The familiarity of his personality, the final acknowledgement of his love that had been there, she knew, for so long… And the strangeness of trying to come to terms with the reality of the new-found physical intimacy – wanting, struggling to wrap her head around the fact that she should find it awkward and odd, but didn't.

When they finally lay skin to skin, his weight on top of her, there was no awkwardness between them; it had been the most natural thing in the world. She had no memory of how they'd come to be that way, only a swirling sense of need and emotion. A gentle hand that explored her breasts as he laid on top of her, the way his kisses skimmed her lips as though he was teasing them both. It didn't matter: the wall was down and she needed him – the wall was down and she could finally admit that she couldn't do it all by herself and oh, she was ready to let him undo her, completely.

He had worshipped her in a way she hadn't known was possible. It was as though every challenging situation they had faced in four years had been ploughed into one hour of blissful pleasure. The way he caressed her face, softly ran his hands across her shoulders and down her arms; the tender and sweet manner of his kisses that broiled into heated exchanges that made her heart roar.

When he finally removed the last vestiges of her clothes and looked into her eyes for a final consent, her heart was gone, at her nod, he slowly sank into her and stayed there for the longest time.

"I can't believe we're doing this," he had whispered in her ear, grazing his lips over her ear.

The wonder in his voice spoke to new depths of her, and Kate could only cling tighter to him, move her hips against him and hope to convey with action how she felt, because words failed her. She moved her hands through his hair, pulled his head down towards her own, hoping he'd understand.

"Oh, Kate."

He'd always been better with words.

The coffee machine emitted a small puff of steam, indicating its readiness and bringing her back to the present. She didn't know Castle's apartment well enough to really know her way around the kitchen, but opening a few cupboards and with some well-aimed detection, she managed to find what she needed. As the coffee brewed, her mind wandered again.

They'd kissed for a long time after, lips moulding together - in exploration - but with no real purpose. Her mind had cleared to nothingness, an almost ethereal state in which only her lips and mouth existed. Then one of his hands started to move, while the other held her steadfast, softly and slowly caressing her back, her neck, her face. As her body responded, arching into his, it moved lower, over her buttocks and thighs; he turned her over and teased her. In equal measures, she wanted it to last forever and be over in sweet release. His fingers danced in the folds of her thigh, circled over to her stomach and down the other side. The desire for him to touch her there was maddening, but neither was she ready for an end to the delicious torture. She reached out for him in an attempt to return just a little bit of how he made her feel, but he caught her hand, hushed her protest and said, 'Let me learn you.'

'And when do I get to learn you?' she wanted to ask, but as soon as the question popped into her head, she knew that she was, in letting him do this, in surrendering to him completely and allowing him to reach her. In a sudden moment of clarity she realised that he had been an open book, in comparison, and he needed this to make up for all the times she had held back.

His fingers circled closer and closer until finally they hit home and she almost caved in the exquisite sensation that sent shock waves pulsing through her body. At that moment, all she had wanted was to feel him inside her once again, to affirm what she wanted to feel, what she had felt, and what she was increasingly sure she wanted to feel for the rest of her life.

His head was resting on her chest, so it didn't take much strength to pull him on top of her completely – that warmth and solidity, the sense of being so utterly spellbound by the strength of belonging in something that was so new and so familiar. He took the cue, poising himself just long enough to tease the both of them into utter submission of the gravity of what had happened to them this evening.

Slowly, oh, so slowly, he lifted himself and pushed into her; and then he was still, but for his lips: they moved at her neck; he seemed to have learned her sensitive points so quickly – almost innately, and she savoured the thick, hard feel of him inside her as his lips and fingers played out a requiem to his calm and deliberate ministrations to her skin. And then they'd lost it, in a fit of passion and desperate movements, lasting just that bit longer for the second time before finally collapsing in an exhausted heap of body and limbs; satisfaction and belonging.

She had a dream-like recollection of walking in up in the night, his hands pressed over her body and her own, instinctively pressing into the warm one behind her. Sleepy and gloriously intimate, they'd made love once more.

Shivering at the memory, and grabbing both cups of coffee and heading to the bedroom, Kate reflected on that last time – how something so new had felt so normal and instinctive. As she sat on the swings, she'd worried that the intellectual intimacy they had built up over the last four years might be utterly undone by the more base instincts that had overtaken them the previous night.

"So, it wasn't a dream?"

He was already awake and she immediately felt guilty for the panic she saw in his eyes: that she'd left – run away, and in that very moment she knew her commitment to him was complete: now she knew that she loved him, never would she allow him to feel the doubt he must have felt in the past year.

As they teased each other, as though they'd been doing it for years – which, Kate supposed they had, albeit in a less obviously intimate manner, she thought as they exchanged suggestions, that it really was only a natural progression from what they'd been doing all along.

It was a thought that lit her smile as she leaned in for a kiss, and she ended up on the floor.

~The End - for now...~