Moony's A/N: I want to offer my sincerest apologies for practically disappearing off the face of the earth. It was summer, and I was spending more time outdoors with my family instead of going on the computer. I actually didn't go on it for 3 months now - I deserve a reward. For those of you following Marauders Together Forever, I promise that is being worked on as you are reading this chapter. I want to thank the super kind reviews for this story, they really made me feel like I had to find a way to get back into updating. Anyway, before this already confusing babble becomes even more confusing to read, I present the long (and hopefully eagerly) awaited chapter 8.
Draco: You know, I'm really hoping one of the inconsistencies of this...thing...will be that she forgets I, uh, am...
Dumbledore: Naked?
Draco: Merlin, don't say it like that!
Ron: For the record, Malfoy, you asked.
Draco: Shut up, Weaselbee.
McGonagall: Five points from Slytherin for the usage of an ina -
Snape: Are we seriously still doing this? I'll simply award Slytherin five points for creativity.
Chapter 8.
Hermione: What happened to the chapter titles?
Snape: There was only one chapter title.
Hermione: Yes, Professor, I know, but I thought she would continue.
Snape: You thought wrong.
Ron: *glares at Snape unnecessarily coldly*
AN: stop flassing
Harry: Flassing? Is that even a word?
Draco: She's going from bad to worse.
Ron: But Hermione, I thought you said flossing was a good thing...
Hermione: ...
Dumbledore: I find the usage of Muggle floss to make the morning cycle much more enjoyable.
McGonagall: Do you floss the Muggle way? ...Don't answer that.
ok! if u do de prep!
Draco: Which publisher even allowed this type of work to be released to the public? *sigh* Muggles.
Hermione: Or perhaps she is a super genius and is trying to get us to use basic inference skills and logical reasoning in order to get us to understand what she is attempting to convey in order to build learning tools for us to become smarter and more broad in our thinking skills.
*bunch of blank looks*
Hermione: What?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXX
Draco: There's not even a set number of these X's. And the 666 thing is getting old.
Dumbledore: I find that this is actually making the story unique.
Draco: How can you defend a story that writes you in the way it did?!
Everyone in the class stared at me
Snape: Of course they stared at you after such an outburst. Why does she need to add such redundant facts?
Harry: For the record, she is in Slytherin, so perhaps you ought to take points off of her.
Draco: Very funny, Potter.
McGonagall: Five hundred points from Slytherin for Ebony's stupidness.
Draco: WHAT?! PROFESSOR!
Snape: Right. Five hundred points from Gryffindor.
Ron: For what?!
Dumbledore: *chuckles as he continues reading, blatantly ignoring the bickering*
and then Draco came into the room
Draco: I should really just stop hoping that she's gonna accidentally write me out of the story.
Harry: At least she writes you in a good way.
Draco: ...and that is exactly why you have not killed You-Know-Who yet.
Harry: ...I don't see you doing anything about it.
Hermione: Just shut up, both of you.
even though he was naked
Draco: *groans*
McGonagall: I must say, I feel awfully bad for the professor teaching the class.
Snape: I'm teaching the class.
McGonagall: Right. Never mind then.
Snape: ...
Dumbledore: This is an entertaining read.
and started begging me to take him back.
Draco: I DON'T BEG! AND I DON'T BEG NAKED EITHER!
Ron: ...
Hermione: Aren't you pretty much begging the authour to write you out of the story?
Draco: No.
"Ebony, it's not what you think!"
Dumbledore: It's exactly what you think.
Harry: I did not have sex with Malfoy when he was dating Ebony in this book. When would I have had the time?
McGonagall, Snape, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore: ...
Draco: Nor did he do it prior to this moment, nor will it ever happen after. Merlin, Potter, be more specific.
Dumbledore: It's like the two of you are an old, married couple.
Draco: The hell is wrong with you?
Draco screamed sadly.
Draco: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Why can't I just be happy about this turn of events? SHE'S DUMPING ME!
Harry: Actually, I think she's just pissed with me. You're still in her good books.
Draco: Damn it. Stupid big dick being too attractive...
My friend B'loody Mary Smith
Hermione: Who?
Ron: B'loody Mary Smith.
Hermione: *sarcastic* Thanks, Ronald.
smiled at me understatedly.
Harry: Aw, did she get cheated on by Malfoy too? Blimey, you get around fast.
Draco: Shut it.
She flipped her long waste-length gothic black
Draco: The shades of black you learn from this...
Hermione: There's only one shade of black and that's black.
Draco: Sarcasm, Granger.
Hermione: I know what that is!
Snape: Of course you did.
Hermione: I did, Professor! Professor McGonagall, tell him! I used sarcasm a little while back!
McGonagall: Five points from Slytherin.
Snape: Five points from Gryffindor.
McGonagall: Anyway, who is this character based off of?
Hermione: She's probably an original character, like Raven.
Dumbledore: I have my doubts.
Draco: Me too. I'm doubting how well you could handle you responsibility of being headmaster.
McGonagall: FIVE POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!
Everyone but McGonagall: *flinches*
hair and opened her crimson eyes
Draco: Why. Were. Her. Eyes. Closed? Does this strike no one else as creepy?!
Harry: I find it creepy.
Draco: I meant in the book. And besides, Vampire doesn't seem to care.
Harry: Well, nor does yours.
Draco: Yeah, well, I'm busy begging so it doesn't count. I would definitely have pointed it out otherwise.
like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on.
Dumbledore: I think that everyone at Hogwarts should start wearing contact lenses too. Then we would look more uniformed.
McGonagall: I agree!
Snape: That is the most ridiculous idea you have ever come up with.
Harry: I like my green eyes. It's the only part of me that actually looks decent.
Everyone: *stares into Harry's eyes*
Harry: I agree with Professor Snape.
Snape: *looks oddly pleased for some reason*
She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.
Draco: And here I was thinking we were passed that stage.
Dumbledore: You thought wrong.
Draco: Yes, thank you.
Hermione was kidnapped when she was born.
Hermione: Wait, what?
Ron: I think you're B'loody Mary.
Hermione: Merlin's pants. Why was I kidnapped? Why do I have to be the odd girl who has her eyes shut when smiling understandably? WHY?
Draco: You feel my pain.
Her real parents are vampires
Hermione: *cheeks flushing and covers face* My parents aren't vampires.
and one of them is a witch
Hermione: Holy Merlin.
Draco: It's never ending.
Hermione: Yes, but, but, at least you're partially in character. This is CRAZY!
Draco: How the fuck am I in character?!
Ron (at the same time as Draco): You're compassionate though.
but Voldemort killed her mother
Hermione: I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch for doing that!
Snape: Ten points from Gryffindor for violent thoughts.
Harry: Hermione, it's not your real mother. You know that, right?
and her father committed suicide
Hermione: WHAT?! Not even my parents are in character!
Draco: Your mum might.
Hermione: Do you really want to bet on that information?
Draco: No.
because he was depressed about it.
Ron: No shit. People don't commit suicide because they're happy.
Draco: ...am I not cold during all this time? Perhaps fake me should leave the room.
Ron: That's not gonna happen.
Draco: Shut it, Weaselbee.
She still has nightmares about it
Hermione: *plugs ears and starts singing loudly*
Dumbledore: That is not a turn-on.
McGonagall: *turns to look at Dumbledore with a disturbed look on her face*
Dumbledore: That is.
Draco, Snape, Harry, Ron, McGonagall: ...
and she is very haunted and depressed.
Ron: This is like another Harry.
Harry: Excuse me?
Ron: It's true.
Draco: Let us remember that Weasley is capable of saying smart things. It may have been an accident though...
McGonagall: Five points from Slytherin.
Snape: Five points from Gryffindor. There is no problem in complimenting a rival house.
It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger.
Ron: Hermione! Your last name is Smith.
Hermione: *unplugs ears and stops singing* What?
Ron: Your last name is Smith.
Hermione: Wonderful. And I changed my first name to a creepy lady who haunts bathrooms for the sake of it?
Ron: Your name's B'loody Mary, not Myrtle.
(Since she has converted to Satanism
Draco: Is that one of the requirements to go to this Hogwarts? You have to worship Satan? Isn't that a Muggle thing anyway?
Harry: Apparently.
she is in Slytherin now
Draco, Hermione, Ron: WHAT?
Harry: Not so loud, I'm going to get a headache.
Snape: Handle it better than the headmaster and no one cares.
Harry: Shit, fuck -
Snape: Five points from Gryffindor.
Harry: ...crap.
not Griffindoor. )
McGonagall: Ah! Five points from Slytherin for having Gryffindor spelled wrong.
Draco: This is not my day.
"What is it that you desire,
Snape: Who talks like that?
you ridiculous dimwit!"
McGonagall: I dunno, that insult was good. I think it might be you.
Snape: No it's not.
Snape demeaned
Snape: Apparently it is me.
Draco: You professors get all the good quotes.
angrily in his cold voice
Ron: Demean angrily in a cold voice makes no sense.
Hermione: Yes it does.
Ron: No.
Hermione: Yes.
Ron: No.
Snape: Five points from Gryffindor.
McGonagall: Five points from Slytherin.
Snape: Why?
Dumbledore: To make both Gryffindor and Slytherin lose the House Cup.
Snape: That is not going to happen.
but I ignored him.
Draco: Of course you did.
"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me
Dumbledore: That is an improper use of terminology. Draco -
Draco: We're on a first name basis now, Albus? That's weird...
Dumbledore: - cheated on Ebony, not Vampire.
Snape: Excellent observation. Will you please not disrupt this dramatic confrontation, headmaster?
with Draco!" I shouted at him.
Ron: I don't like this image.
Hermione: *sympathetic* Are you imagining Malfoy and Harry having sex?
Ron: *nods*
Hermione: It's okay. Me too.
Dumbledore: It is quite enjoyable.
Draco: What is wrong with all of you?!
Harry: This is stupid.
Dumbledore: About the dick sizes...
Draco: Please, shut up.
Everyone gasped.
Ron: Heehee, that's weird.
Draco: Tell me you're laughing at the gasping and not the -
Ron: Of course I'm laughing at the gasping, you pervert!
Draco: ...I'm the pervert. Right. You're making just as much sense as this authour.
Harry: I think this situation isn't worth gasping over.
Draco: Funnily enough, I agree.
Dumbledore: This is actually quite dramatic.
I don't know why Ebony
Draco: Wait, what's going on?
Hermione: She just switched point of views, I think.
Draco: To whose?
Hermione: How would I know?
was so mad at me.
Ron: Bloody hell, this is either Malfoy or Harry...
Draco: Please be Potter, please be Potter...
Harry: Please be Malfoy, please be Malfoy...
Snape: It sounds as if you want to be partnered up for an assignment.
I had went out with Vampire
Draco: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Harry: YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!
Ron: To be quite honest, now I want to know who dumped who. Let's see who the bigger pansy is.
Draco: This is so not going to end well. Today is just not my day.
Ron: I know, this is why I'm calling the contest.
Hermione: Cue Harry being the bigger pansy.
Harry: Thanks for the support.
(I'm bi and so is Ebony)
Harry: Brilliant, get to the point.
for a while but then he broke my heart.
Dumbledore: If you want to talk about it, my door is always open.
Draco: You're confusing reality with crap, Professor.
Dumbledore: How could you call this crap? If you look beyond the poor grammar...
Draco: There is a useless plot.
He dumped me
Draco: Holy Merlin...I really hate this chapter.
because he liked Britney,
Harry: Who is this Britney, now?!
Everyone looks towards a fanart of Britney.
Harry: She's better looking than Malfoy, for sure.
Draco: *looks annoyed*
Harry: Harry one. Malfoy zero.
McGonagall: Five points to Gryffindor.
a stupid preppy fucker.
Harry: That what you really think?
Draco: Is that seriously a question?
Harry: Well, we're looking into your head right now.
Draco: I don't think that, okay?
Harry: Okay.
We were just good friends now.
Hermione: That would actually be quite the plot twist, you know. Harry and Malfoy being secret friends...I mean, you always talk about Malfoy and when Crabbe and Goyle were polyjuiced, you were talking about Harry...
Draco: Wait, when was Crabbe and Goyle polyjuiced?!
Hermione: ...never.
Harry: I thought we were supposed to be on the same side, Hermione! I am not "secret" friends with Malfoy!
Ron: Awkward delayed response there, mate.
He had gone through horrible problems,
Snape: His name is Harry Potter. Always wanting to be the center of attention. Five points from Gryffindor for your existence, Mr Potter.
Harry: Professor Dumbledore, how is he not fired yet?
Dumbledore: Professor Snape is very loyal and of good heart, Harry.
McGonagall: *looks conflicted*
and now he was gothic.
Ron: Wait, was he not gothic before? Does this mean when the two of you were dating, you were dating a prep?
Draco: No, of course not. That would be - Merlin, Weaselbee, you're more cunning than I thought.
Ron: *looks smug*
(Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)
Draco: Yeah, haha.
Harry: The hell?
"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.
Draco: Let us enjoy the moment where I am not the center of attention.
Harry: I wish I could've just said - I never went out with Malfoy.
Draco: And I want to be written out of this story. But we don't always get what we want, now do we?
"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!"
Ron: Say fuck one more time.
Hermione: That wasn't funny.
Ron: It was a little funny.
Hermione: No.
I screamed.
McGonagall: I am getting lost in this book. Who screamed?
Snape: The reason it is bad is that we don't know.
Draco: It might've been me. I might've said something smart. Perhaps I mean to say I never went out with Potter.
Ron: But that doesn't make sense, you confessed to it.
Draco: We can expect some inconsistencies.
Hermione: Actually, considering your luck with this chapter, I'd bet on this part remaining consistent.
I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest
Draco: Er...I really hope this is Ebony now...I wouldn't be so stupid.
Harry: You've done some pretty stupid things so far.
Draco: True...
Harry: Harry two, Malfoy zero.
Draco: HEY! That's not what I meant!
where I had lost my virility to Draco
Hermione: Why would she go there? And why was that part necessary?
Dumbledore: The story is in the details, Miss Granger.
Hermione: With all due respect, Professor, not this one.
and then I started to bust into tears.
Hermione: Wow.
Harry: What an ending.
Enter Voldemort.
Dumbledore: *calmly stands up* We're having a party. I presume you were summoned?
Voldemort: As a matter of fact, the real me was. But, unfortunately, real me is way to busy for this kind of stuff. So I sent me.
Moony's A/N: Hopefully you enjoyed that. It actually got pretty long. Anyway, any thoughts? Room for improvement? Favourite quotes? Flames (Actually, please don't)? I know it's starting to get a little ridiculous, but that's My Immortal in a nutshell :)