A/N: I'm blaming some really epic procrastination skills for the way I'm popping out one shots this week, so here's another one to enjoy! Set after 4x15, mentions of Kurt's injuries but nothing more specific than that. And yay, this story's a happy one!

The Age Rule

by padfoot

...

"I hate you," Rachel announces as she comes inside, slamming the sliding loft door closed behind her.

Sam, Mercedes, Blaine and Kurt stare back at her, and Sam begins to say something about her interrupting their double date but Rachel cuts him off.

"Oh, not you two," she says to Sam and Mercedes, "But you!" She's turned on Kurt and Blaine, and Blaine for his part is feeling a little bit quelled by her glare, "You two I hate! I hate you both!"

She storms into her curtained off 'bedroom', and there's a loud thump as she presumably deposits her bags on her bed. The four still seated around their previously pleasant dinner exchange looks with raised eyebrows, and Sam leans over to pat a still shell-shocked Blaine comfortingly on the arm.

They all jump when Rachel emerges again.

"I mean, I don't hate-hate you," she amends, her tone still sharp, "I'm just not a huge fan of the way your relationships get to work, where everything's fine and normal and nobody ever calls anyone a creep."

"That's not strictly true, Rachel," Kurt points out, gesturing needlessly to his still-healing injuries.

"Oh God, Kurt, I didn't mean it that way," Rachel brushes the comment off, once again in motion as she goes over to the kitchen, rifling through the cupboards for a plate and cutlery.

She moves over to the table and drags an extra chair up to it, the scraping of the chair legs on the floor making everyone wince. Mercedes politely shifts over to make more space where Rachel has pushed herself in between Mercedes and Sam. They all watch in stunned silence as Rachel starts serving herself from the salad bowl in the middle of the table.

"I just meant that you two can be with, y'know, whoever. And nobody ever-"

"Rachel, you really have to stop talking," Mercedes says.

It's a coincidence that Rachel happens to have begun eating her serving of salad, and her ability to talk is compromised, as per Mercedes' request.

"Yes, please stop talking," Kurt agrees, "And stop eating our salad!"

"We were done with it though, weren't we?" Blaine asks, always the pacifist.

Kurt gapes and says, "Yes, but it's the principle!"

"Exactly," Sam nods, "She can't just come in and take out food. I was going to have seconds!"

"Seconds can wait, Sam," BIaine snaps, before turning to Rachel with a softer tone and asking, "Is something wrong?"

"Yes," she replies, through a mouthful of baby spinach.

There's a cube of feta cheese on her plate that Kurt feels perfectly fine about snatching up and popping into his mouth. This ought to be good.

Rachel swallows, then goes on.

"I was at Funny Girl rehearsals today, and there is this male dancer who's been helping me out with some of the scenes. And you know how I am with good dancers-" the four all exchange a look, but stay silent "-so long story short we had something going on between us, I felt, and so after rehearsal I asked him out. I thought everything was fine, until another girl (an extra, as if she even has the right!) told me he was only 18 and I was a cradle-robbing whore for wanting to date him. How rude is that?"

Blaine opens his mouth to reply, but Rachel charges on-

"And it's as if she thought I didn't know! Of course, I knew. I wouldn't just ask out a stranger who I hadn't done a thorough facebook search on. We've been facebook friends for over two weeks now, honestly, he and I practically grew up together."

"That is really not true." Kurt interjects, but Rachel hasn't finished.

"So I left, humiliated by an extra in my own musical! And all the way home all I could think was that gay couples just never have this problem. There is no stigma about someone always having to be the older one and someone having to be the younger one. When I dated Brody he was three years older than me, and nobody batted an eyelid at that, but God forbid I ask out a boy who is only just younger than me-"

"He's two years younger than you," Mercedes points out.

"But that's hot," Sam shrugs, "I love me some older women."

Behind Rachel, he and Mercedes clasp hands.

"One older woman," he amends.

"But my point is," Rachel carries on, clearly unwilling to let her rant be set off course, "You two would never have that problem," she gestures to Kurt and Blaine, who are still both looking very sceptical about this whole topic of conversation, "You're both the guy in the relationship and it's just so unfair."

She punctuates the last move by slumping down to the table, pushing her plate out of the way so she can bury her head into her folded arms.

Kurt sighs, officially resigned to this double date's ruination.

"Look, Rachel," he says, "As Sam and Mercedes have clearly illustrated, you can date a younger guy if you want."

"Personally, I wouldn't recommend it," chimes in Blaine.

Kurt laughs, "What from all your experience dating younger men?"

"No," Blaine retorts, drawing out the word, a smile dancing on his lips, "I can just offer some rave reviews for dating older men. It's always worked out for me."

"Every time?" Kurt asks, smiling just as wide.

"Every time."

Head still on the table, Rachel makes a noise of disgust. Kurt and Blaine just laugh, their feet knocking together under the table.

"I know what you're doing!" Rachel says, lifting her head up to glare at them.

Kurt's tone is mockingly placatory as he replies, "I'm just saying, younger men are where all the fun is. These 'youths', they know all the new tricks and trends. Nothing old-fashioned about them at all." He gives Blaine's bowtie a tug for emphasis.

Rachel stands up, her glare, if possible, more pronounced. She fixes the glare on the Kurt and Blaine's grinning faces, ignoring Mercedes and Sam as they cower either side of her, holding in laughter.

"I will not be made fun of," Rachel declares, and she turns with a flourish and flounces away to her room. She pulls the curtain shut hard behind her, and yells out a final, "I hate you both!" in case the message wasn't clear.

There's a beat of silence, and then the four at the table all burst out laughing, Kurt falling into Blaine's side, doubled over with laughter.

"I can't believe you live with her," Mercedes wheezes out.

Kurt resurfaces for long enough to wipe his eyes and nod breathlessly, "I know," he laughs, "I know."

Beside him, Blaine smiles, pressing a kiss to Kurt's forehead as a new bout of giggles send him careering back into Blaine's side.