A/N: This particular story has been on hiatus for two years. There are various reasons to why this has been the case, however, there is ultimately no excuse. To all my lovely readers who have supported me and this story, I am sorry beyond words. The absence of further chapters was never intentional.
Despite this long inactivity, I feel I owe it to all of you to at least attempt to continue after all this time. Although I can't guarantee it, I hope to post chapter two in the not too distant future. — Jess xo
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Offspring of any sort. Offspring is the property of Debra Oswald, John Edwards, Imogen Banks and Network Ten Australia.
1. Priorities
Desperate to get inside, I fumbled when trying to put the key in the lock. This definitely wasn't working in my favour. If only I could've knocked off work ten or twenty minutes earlier. Next thing I know the keys slip out of my hands, onto the pavement, directly in front of my door. Seriously, Nina, how many times have you done this?
As I finally manage to gain entry a few seconds later there's only one thing on my mind. All I had to focus on now was getting to the bathroom on time. Please, there better not be any baby proofing — the previous incident was way too humiliating to mention.
Soon after I lifted the lid of the toilet and sat down, I heard an incoming call. Why does my iPhone always ring at the most inconvenient time? Can't I be granted at least one moment of peace? Obviously not. Just as I leant over to the sink to reach for it, I made an alarming discovery which instantly grasped my attention — taking priority. I was bleeding. Heavily. Okay, no need to panic...yet. Just get a pad from upstairs and quickly duck to the Ainsworth before Patrick gets home. It could be nothing. But, Patrick...Patrick lost his first baby. I frantically climbed the stairs and headed for the top drawer in my room. As I was glancing at the pad still in its packaging, I was startled, suddenly sensing something from behind. Patrick. He was home early. Patrick let out a slow sigh. 'You're not...are you?
I gave a somewhat reluctant nod. Patrick stood, shocked, frozen in time until he gradually collapsed and sat on the edge of the bed. With his head now buried in his hands, I could just make out some of his muttering. Words demonstrating great frustration and grief. I honestly couldn't blame him. That's exactly how I felt too. Scared and uncertain of the future. I knew it wasn't looking good.
Now outside, I made my way over to the driver's side door intending to be the one who would lead us to the hospital. However, it was clear Patrick had other ideas.
'Hand me the keys, I'm driving.' I drew out my palm indicating what I was after.
'Don't be stupid!'
'How am I being—' I cut myself off as I saw no point to argue under the circumstances.
For a brief moment nothing was said between us. We were both suffering in silence.
'Patrick, you're beside yourself.'
'And you're not?'
'Look, okay, but now is not the time to mess about.'
'Exactly, so hop in, I'm driving. End of discussion.' Patrick wasn't going to let his guard down. I didn't fight it. He had his reasons and the times ahead were likely to be extremely difficult for both of us to comprehend.
I was glad Patrick chose the Ainsworth. I wasn't ready to face my colleagues about this. At least not until we were certain. I felt as though an unfamiliar face was the best fit at this point in time. The obstetrics ward didn't seem to be as busy as I'd expected, thus I was attended to in a matter of minutes.
As I lay on the bed in an ultrasound suite, Patrick had hold of my hand. As the gel was applied onto my abdomin I was dreading the outcome. I gently rested my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes. This isn't happening. Please. Seconds were going by and the doppler still hadn't registered a heartbeat. As I thought. We'd lost it. Nothing more needed to be said. I slowly looked over at Patrick by my side. I then leaned and wrapped my arms loosely around him while also resting my chin on his shoulder. Tears were gradually steaming down my cheeks, later being absorbed by the material of his shirt. I could hear him discreetly weeping. He probably thought I wouldn't hear; but I did. Is it terrible that I'm more distraught with guilt than over the loss of our unborn child?
. . .
Abruptly, I woke next to Patrick. With shock, I threw myself in an upright position and held my rather large stomach. This roused him slightly.
'You alright?' Patrick muttered, still half asleep.
'Yes...fine, fine. Don't worry.'
'Well, I am worried.'
I slowly slid back down the bed, now lying back beside him. 'Honestly, I'm fine.'
He gently stroked my face. 'You have tears in your eyes. Bad dream?'
I didn't want to answer. I knew if I told him it would just exacerbate the situation and make him anxious for reality. I was glad he didn't demand an explanation. Instead his expression changed from being relatively concerned to more of a cheeky smirk. Yet for a short period he said nothing. What was he up to now?
'Earlier you mentioned something about...keys? Does that mean anything to you?'
My smile was soon transformed into laughter. 'I couldn't get in the house.'
'What?'
'Never mind. It's too convoluted anyway.' I had to cover myself. But was that really a complete lie?
Without saying another word, I wriggled myself a little closer to him and softly placed my head on his bare chest. The warmth of his body instantly sent a blissful sensation throughout me. I lay there silently, with my eyes closed, listening to the rain start to drizzle over the metal roof. This moment might as well have been perfect. However, it wasn't as I was simultaneously trying not to recall the horrific events that had previously unfolded within my sub-conscious.
Over the next few minutes the rain became gradually heavier. Almost to the point where I could barely hear myself speak, let alone Patrick.
'Well at least we don't have to worry about watering our plants anymore.'
The majority of what was going through my ear was muffled by the vibrations of his speech given out through his chest. I could just make out the words.
'Are you ever going to move from there? Or have you decided to rest your head on me for the duration of the day?' His cheeky smirk began to reappear.
'Well considering we've both got the day off work today, that actually doesn't sound too bad.' I stated, jokingly.
Suddenly Patrick pulled me of top of him and before I knew it, his lips were firmly locked on mine. I was mesmerised when there was a dramatic change of pace.
'Shit!' My face must have displayed great horror. What if Patrick thought he'd done something to contribute to this? Maybe his kisses really were deadly.
'Nina, what's wrong? Has the baby stopped moving?'
He had it all wrong.
'The washing's still on the line!'
Patrick spoke quietly as he soon realised what that meant. 'Oh.'
As fast as I could, I ripped the sheets off myself and leaped out of bed. Nearly falling flat on my face in the process. I was too preoccupied and concentrating on getting outside in time. Stupid rug! Despite my efforts all our clothes were completely saturated. Great.
Once I'd taken the sopping wet clothes into the laundry and rung them out, I headed downstairs to the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast. As I flicked the switch to fire up the kettle, I flinched when I suddenly felt Patrick's touch from behind. He'd wrapped his arms loosely around my belly and softly kissed my neck. It was exactly the type of gentle hug I was after. Without asking for it, he then began to assist with our meal.
Once Patrick had pushed the toaster down, he broke the silence. 'I know we had other plans...' he turned around, now with his back to the toaster. '...but due to this horrible weather, why don't we pop in and see Kate and Bella? That way you can still take it easy.'
As much as I was more than happy to go through with that suggestion, I wasn't surprised that he had steered away yet again from looking at furniture and exploring other ideas for the baby's room. The memory of Gus was still obviously having a significant effect on him.
'Sounds good. I'm sure Isabella will love to see her Uncle Patrick.'
Not much else was said between us until I began struggling to open a jar of Vegemite. I swear I hadn't put the lid on this tight last time I used it.
'Do you need a hand?'
Once again I clenched my teeth and shut my eyes tight. 'No, honestly, it's fine, I've nearly got it.'
Suddenly I lost my grip and the jar shattered all over the ground. It served me right.
'Well, that's one way to get it open,' Patrick stated, smirking.
The two of us were both laughing at my idiocy when we each received a text. It was Cherie asking us if we could head into work. A young woman had been admitted to the Robson Wing via emergency as she was experiencing irregular contractions. The difference was she wasn't even aware she was pregnant until she went into labour three or so hours before. The staff insisted given our experience, it would be best if we attended the case.
It seemed the decision on how to spend our day was made for us.
