Remember what the people said,

Remember what the people said,

When it's said and done,

Let it go.

-The Neighborhood-

It was a Tuesday when she got the Owl, and now it was a Thursday and she was in a black dress.

She leaned back on the church bench with her jaw clenched and her arms locked around herself. In the distance she could hear her mother holding Petunia while she cried, but Lily didn't even bother to join them. Petunia had made it very clear that Lily wasn't welcome and she wasn't in any mood to push that. Most days she would either try to talk to her sister on a rational level or be flippantly unaffected in order to get under Petunia's skin. Today, she desired neither reaction. She'd rather not be anywhere near the pair of them if she was being perfectly honest, but they had to go dinner after with the whole extended family, all of which were so distantly related to her that she didn't even consider them family.

The worst thing was she didn't want to feel this way. She wanted to be the type of person who was just full of warmth and compassion. The person who would take care of her mother and sister despite all of the walls that had been built between them. But every time she considered rising, she'd see the casket and everything that was good inside of her would fall a part.

She loved her mother. Her mother was sweet, quiet and good hearted; it was she who took Lily school shopping every year without a single negative thought about it. But her mother always looked after Petunia first. She never said why, but Lily had learned at a young age, if it were between her and her sister, Lily would always be the one that had to suck it up. And right then, she couldn't do it.

Would her father judge her for that? No, he always was reassuring her to do the best she could and he would have understood. But that didn't help her escape her own conscience. She should have been stronger. She should have been better, but she just wasn't.

All she could see was her father's face, and remember how he used to read to her and Petunia every night when they were little. He started off with the basic fairytales, but then when they got older he would pick more difficult novels, by then Petunia insisted she was too old for her father to read to her. Lily was never too old; she would crawl into the space beside him on his old armchair and lean against his arm. The words of The Hobbit still sounded in her head and for a moment she worried, what if one day she wouldn't be able to hear it? What if one day she forgot what his voice sounded like?

The thought was impossible, how could she ever forget the voice of her dad? How could she forget the way he often cleared his throat to clear out the excess amounts of coffee or how when he laughed it was so loud and deep she'd hear it rooms away?

How could that be taken away too?

Lily cleared her throat, and stared straight ahead. Her hair was back in a tight, high ponytail and her mascara was running down the side of her face unbeknownst to her.

Down the aisle way, Dirk and Mary made their way over to Lily. Both casted a look in Mrs. Evans and Petunia's direction, Mary frowned uncomfortably.

"Should we…?"

Dirk shook his head, "Not a chance. If we pay our respects, Petunia will bite our heads off. Best go straight to Lily. We can go back when Linda is by herself."

"Okay, I don't want to offend anyone." Mary tiptoed behind him so the sound of her heels wouldn't carry.

They saw Lily shuddering, but noted that she didn't make a single noise. She was perfectly silent, but her crossed legs shook and her lips trembled together, white and horribly chapped.

"Hey," Dirk said, sinking down beside her. His green eyes scanned her face, while Mary moved to sit on her other side.

Mary put her hand on Lily's. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," She said dismissively, but she could barely get the words out.

Dirk and Mary shared a look before they both faced Lily and wrapped their arms around her.

Lily stammered, "You guys don't h-have to-"

"We know." Dirk said gently.

The minute, she placed her hands on theirs and began to cry. Not softly or cleanly, but unevenly and violently. They cradled around her, Dirk tucked her head under his, while Mary rubbed her back soothingly. She calmed down after a few minutes and pulled away from both of them. Mary took Dirk's handkerchief and wiped the make-up off Lily's face.

"There," Mary told her gently. "Better now."

Lily nodded, she didn't have the energy to say anything, but she knew they were aware of how grateful she was that they were there. After a few minutes they all stood up, and Lily took a deep breath.

"We will see you tonight." Dirk said, kissing her cheek, before Mary turned to Lily and did the same.

Lily nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "Bye."

"Are you sure you have to go?" Lily's mother Linda Evans said brushing Lily's hair back tenderly.

Lily nodded, forcing a smile on her face. "I have finals in two weeks. I can't miss anymore school this close to the end of the year."

"Alright, well I love you and I expect you to write to tell me you arrived safely. You'll be coming home soon?"

"Three weeks."

Mrs. Evans pulled her youngest into her arms and squeezed her tightly, in the tender way she always did. In those few moments, Lily felt the pain cease and felt like she could breathe again. Once her mother released her, she kissed the tip of Lily's nose and patted her on the shoulder.

"Show them what smart looks like dear."

This time Lily didn't have to force the smile, it came all on it's own. "Thanks, Mum. Love you too."

Lily stepped back, and stepped into the fireplace, her hand full of floo powder. Out of the corner of the living room she saw her sister peeking out of the hallway. For a second there was a sinking feeling in the center of her stomach, compelling her, imploring her to go to her sister, to put aside the past five years and go to her. The second Lily moved forward however her sister's footsteps echoed in the hallway declaring her exit loud and clear.

Mrs. Evans's face dropped, but she said nothing, she merely left the room. She could have been going anywhere, but Lily knew her mother was going after her sister.

"Naturally," Lily laughed to herself humorlessly, before stepping back and dropping the floo powder. "Hogwarts."

When she arrived in the Headmaster's office the Headmaster was nowhere to be found. She awkwardly teetered around the room, not wanting to just come and go rudely but not really sure what the exact procedure for this was. Fumbling with the edges of her shirt, Lily rolled her lips together and glanced around; Dumbledore's office was odd to say the least. McGonagall's office had nearly as many books, but not as many contraptions lying around. Her curiosity kicked in for a moment when she saw an ordinary mini-telescope near the edge of the room, but just when her fingers brushed the air above it she recoiled.

"Better not," She muttered to herself, laughing slightly before leaving the room altogether.

Heading down the stairs, she left through the Gargoyle entrance and traveled down the corridor to the staircase. Her feet lead her, while her brain took a bit of a vacation. It was quite a few staircases to get up to the dorms, and Lily found that she had more than enough on her mind to occupy walking and waiting for the staircases to move to the floor she needed.

When she reached the last floor, she moved for the last staircase when she heard a commotion coming from down the hall. It should have been empty. It was well after school night curfew, so ideally no one should have been up. Her first instinct was that the Marauder's were just planning a prank or doing whatever it was they did when she wasn't around, but once she heard yelling and saw the hall flicker with the tint of some nasty hexes, Lily changed course with her wand raised.

Racing into the corridor, she didn't really know what she was thinking. Maybe she wasn't thinking at all, but it was her impulse to move forward and it proved justified when she found three Slytherin's cornering a Gryffindor.

"OY!" Lily yelled loudly. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!"

For some reason she thought that would stop them, but instead all of their wands turned on her. "Crap." Lily ducked just as three spells shot her way.

Impulsively, she immobilized one of them and then shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

Then the Gryffindor rose from the floor, snatched the wand out of the air and used his free arm punch the last Slytherin in the face, knocking him clear out. Wiping the blood off his jaw, he picked up his wand and stupefied the last man standing. For a split second she couldn't recognize who it was until the others cleared away.

There, in all his glory was James Potter, half delirious and covered in his own blood. Exasperated, Lily tentatively moved forward and caught him as he attempted to stumble forward.

"Potter, what-?"

"Please," He sighed tiredly, "Not now, Evans."

Lily shrugged her shoulders, took his arm and put it around her shoulder to support his weight.

"What are you doing?" He questioned in bewilderment.

"…Helping you get to the hospital wing."

"I'm not going there."

"Potter-"

James's voice dropped, "Please, Lily just help me back to the dorm."

The dorm was closer, and the direction she was originally heading to begin with. So that added with her own exhaustion and need to crawl into her bed helped his case immensely, but his face was pretty broken up and she was pretty sure he had more damage than that. Her conscience turned on for a second, it told her that he needed to go to the hospital wing. Regardless of what he said he obviously needed medical attention and if she took him back to the dorms he could make it worse.

But then she did the stupidest thing. She looked at him.

"But what about-?"

"I'll be fine."

His glasses were cracked, and his hair was damp from sweat, but his eyes, his hazel eyes were the only thing about him that always seemed…earnest. His lips often were in the shape of a smirk, sneer or egotistical grin, but his eyes displayed a kindness, a kindness that was disarmingly genuine and caused all logic to leave her.

"Fine, let's go."

Lily timidly locked one hand around his wrist and the other around his waist. He winced, "Not so tight."

"Sorry," She loosened her grip as they began to walk, "I just didn't want you to fall."

"Thanks." He said offhandedly.

Lily nodded, while they went up the staircase slowly. "No problem."

They stayed perfectly quiet and for a minute Lily almost forgot who he was. She'd seen him with his friends, with girls, with teachers, but he was always loud and full of life. She'd never seen him just…polite and not obnoxious. It was kind of …nice. For a few moments, she didn't have to feel badly about stealing glances at him because he wasn't doing anything wrong. She could feel the muscles under his shirt, without telling herself she shouldn't be attracted to him. It was nice break, it was like for an instant they were in a parallel universe where he wasn't a show off prick and she didn't have to be mean to him. They could just walk and that could be it.

Though the closer they got to the portrait hole the more her cheeks became inflamed by her proximity to him. It was one thing to help him, it was quite another to be able to smell his cologne and now know what it felt like to have his arm wrapped around hers. Lily allowed the thoughts to continue, it was a welcome distraction from everything that had been circling around in her mind.

When they walked through the portrait hole, Mary was waiting up for her. She looked barely awake; her dark face was half hidden in a book on Greek Mythology, but once she heard the creak of the door she became alert. Her expression switched from interest to confusion in barely any time at all when she saw James's arm around Lily's.,

"I'll be back," Lily told Mary curtly. "I just have to drop, Potter off with Black."

Mary eyed the scene with apprehension. "…okay."

Lily was more than aware that Mary's light brown eyes followed her and James up the staircase, but she didn't have the energy to care. She'd explain it to her in a minute anyway; there was no reason to make a fuss. Lily was just helping James, nothing more than that.

When they were nearly at the last step, James began to tense up. Assuming it was out of pain, Lily told him quietly. "Come on, Potter. Just three more steps than you will be there."

He took a shallow breath, and nodded, forcing himself up the final steps, into the dorm.

Sirius was lying back on his bed, shirtless tossing a Quaffle in the air absentmindedly, his black hair swept back elegantly. Peter was scribbling furiously, what Lily assumed to be the potions essay that was due the next day. Remus seemed to be reorganizing his trunk.

"Oh there you are, mate we were-" Sirius began, before he got a good look at James. "What happened?"

James shook his head dismissively.

"Thanks, Evans." Sirius said taking James from her and helping him to his own bed.

Remus gave James a glance over, but walked over to Lily. He tugged her into a small hug. "I'm sorry, Lily. I just heard."

Lily tensed up, not from his touch but why he was hugging her. She fixed her face to hold composure, "Thanks, Remus."

He released her and looked down at her in concern. "How are you holding up?"

"Holding up?" Sirius said, from James's side. "She's not the one with blood all over her nose."

Lily ignored Sirius, and smiled at Remus. "I'm fine. Thanks Remus. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to head to bed."

"If you need anything owl me." He added, patting her on the shoulder.

She gave him another smile, "I will." Then she looked over at James unsurely. "Um…Take care of yourself, Potter."

He nodded, with a grin. "Thanks, Evans."

Lily headed out, closing the door behind her, but she lingered for a few seconds when she heard the boys instantly jump into a conversation.

"What was wrong with, Evans?" James said, his voice strained.

Remus sighed, "Her dad died, the funeral was today."

"Oh." Sirius said, the guilt evident in his tone. "Well I was a prat."

"You always are." Remus chuckled, "But I doubt Lily took it personally."

James said, "Poor, Evans. No wonder she looked so defeated."

Remus reassured him, "She's strong. She just needs some time."

"This is going to hurt Prongs." Peter warned him, "Bite down on this."

A muffled yelp sounded through the boy's dorm and Lily continued down the steps.

Mary was sound asleep on the couch by the time Lily reached it, with her book resting on her stomach. Snorting, Lily grabbed a blanket and draped it over her, before ascending the girl's staircase to go to bed.