Summary: Have you ever thought how lonely Zoro must have been before joining Strawhats?

Pairing: none, but you could call it ZoSan-iiiiiish

Rating: G

Warnings: weirdness/abstractness, some OOC (maybe, but it depends on your view)

Author's Notes: just a random something I cooked up because I couldn't sleep.

Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece

It's Not Always So Obvious

He has always been alone, no matter how many people he met. Even though he never talked about it, doesn't mean he hasn't felt it. It's simply not something he would ever bring up, neither did he deem it worth bringing up. It wasn't important, so it simply stayed in the back of his mind where it belonged.

Zoro has traveled a lot in the past, seen many people and places. One would think a guy sitting in a bar out-drinking every single fool was awesome, badass and lucky... But it only made him feel even lonelier. In fact, never being able to get drunk... It was scary in a way...scary because he could never lose himself in the mindless sensation that alcohol provided... Always being on alert, even when he slept.

Everyone always thought that he slept half of the time, didn't they..? It was usually his facade though. He wasn't an idiot and he had a deep sense of duty. No one really knew that...at least, he didn't think they did. Or maybe they were just making fun of him like they usually liked to do. Zoro didn't like being laughed at that often, but it happened anyway. He was a serious person, but like everyone, he had his skeletons in the closet. Even so...

When he joined Luffy's crew and how it grew over time, he started feeling less lonely, it's a given fact. But he still had that shitty feeling sometimes...in the middle of the night when no one else was awake or watching. If he was on duty - he would crawl up until the pain went away, if he was in bed - he would do the same.

Fuck. He wasn't a totally ungrateful bastard. And he loved his nakama, he had somewhere to belong and he was happy. They didn't make him feel alone...at least, he didn't think that was where this pain in his heart came from... But he didn't know why he still got it anyway. Was it because of memories..? Shit, Robin got it much worse...who was he to feel this then?

He still tried not to...really hard...

It was weak and pathetic to feel this anyway.

And one day...someone actually found his little secret. You can't keep anything from these guys anyway.

"Oi, what's with that shitty sleeping pose, marimo?" Sanji kicked Zoro's side, receiving a snarl and a hit as Zoro swung him arm on instinct, glaring daggers at the idiot blond. Great, of all the damn people...

"Go away, dartboard. I'm trying to sleep," and Zoro turned away, staring at the wooden wall before him.

Sanji blinked and lit a cigarette, puffing as he crouched before the other, looking up at the night sky, then down at Zoro, "It's going to rain, dumbass."

"I don't care."

"You'll get sick."

"I won't."

Sanji sighed, shaking his head. He was a good reader came to women, but even a better one when it came to one particular species of algae, "What's wrong?"

Zoro's shoulders tensed. Bingo.

The swordsman lie there moments longer, then snorted, "The hell you on about?"

"It's okay, little marimo. You can talk to me about it."

Zoro paused again, thinking about what to say, "I don't want to talk about it," he said plainly. Maybe the cook would get the idea and get off his case.

"Why not? You don't trust your nakama?" Sanji took a deep drag of his cigarette and blew smoke, deciding to sit down on the floor, since it seemed this would take a while.

"That's the exact question why I don't want to talk about, fuckhead. Just go to bed."

"Not until you come with me. I am not leaving you here to get wet and sick...an ill marimo is not a pretty sight."

Zoro sat up abruptly, glaring daggers at the other, "You are a fucking nuisance."

Sanji blinked, his visible blue eye big as he puffed again, "I know. So you gonna talk about it?"

Zoro grumbled and sighed, contemplating it for a short while, then he shook his head, "No."

Stubborn fucking algae, "Why not? Is it something that goes against your pride?"

"Yeah..." Zoro looked away, a distant look.

Sanji shook his head, "Sometimes, it's better to let it out... Instead of constantly moping around about it."

Zoro's eyes widened and he looked at the other again. What the actual hell- "Fucking curly eyebrows, you have seen me like this before..."

The cook shrugged and puffed again, looking up at the sky, seeing more heavy clouds.

A long pause followed before Zoro sat down in a lotus-like pose, more comfortable for him, looking Sanji in the eye, "I tend to feel alone. Not because I am, but because I was. That feeling can't leave me no matter what so I'm forced to take it..." he frowned and scowled, "Satisfied? Now leave."

Sanji looked attentively at Zoro, before saying, "My past haunts me too. That's why I usually can't sleep as many hours as everyone else...because I get nightmares as if I was back...at a really scary place..." the blond trailed off, Zoro staying quiet and simply looking at the other with a normal expression before Sanji smiled charmingly, "But you know... I'm pretty sure everyone has a problem of their own, especially in our crew. That's why we are together though, that's why it's easier to deal with our demons... Because subconsciously, we all understand each other on a deep level...even if we haven't ourselves went through it," Sanji paused, throwing the bud overboard and getting a new cig, "Shitty swordsman, you are not alone in feeling this. I suggest talking to Robin about it... It could do you really good."

Another pause followed as the two men simply sat there looking at each other, not really noticing how it started to rain in seconds.

Zoro was in deep thought about everything the other said. In a sense, the shitty cook was right...not only that, but he also... Well, his heart didn't hurt anymore...somehow.

That's what he loved about his crew actually. No one was quick to judge.

And Zoro smiled warmly, standing up and giving Sanji a hand, "Let's not sit in the rain longer. We might get sick."

Sanji smiled too, slapping Zoro's hand away as he stood up, "Finally, the tiny brain that you have came up with something rational."

"Shut up asshole."

And both went inside.

The End.