The days were barely discernable before, but now they truly began to blend together into one long night. Every moment Hiccup was awake was filled with the unknown, and his cell became a nightmare he couldn't escape.

The Dude soon wasn't satisfied with kisses and blowjobs anymore. When he offered Hiccup extra food and water, naturally he upped the price as well. And as the price raised, so too did the level of Hiccup's degradation.

That was how he found himself face down, in the dirt, pants around his calves, while his guard took him from behind.

Hiccup curled in on himself, trying to distance himself once again from his five senses. He tried to pretend that he couldn't hear the slap of skin against skin, or feel the horrible, burning pain in his rear. He acted like the Dude's grunts of pleasure weren't really happening over his head, and he himself went completely quiet. He pretended that his body wasn't reacting to the stimulation in any way, and that he was miles and miles away from here. In his mind, Astrid had already found him, and he was safe at home, where his family and friends would make sure no one ever hurt him again.

"You're okay now," she whispered, holding him to her chest. Hiccup nuzzled his face into her shoulder and sighed, hooking his arms under hers and pressing his palms against her shoulder blades. He was sitting partway in her lap, and the sun shining down on them was bright and warm.

His forehead was pushed further into the dirt, and Hiccup's hands balled into fists. He suddenly yelped sharply, and looked down between his legs to see the Dude had yanked on his erection harshly.

"Don't you dare disappear on me," he snapped, "I want you paying attention. You don't get your food until I come in you, and I won't come unless I hear you make some noise."

Another rough tug, and Hiccup yipped again. The Dude's thrusting became faster and harder, and thus the pain increased tenfold. Hiccup felt as if his insides were being torn apart. He tried to squirm away, breaking several nails on the stone in his scrabbling. He felt the guard's penis slip out of him for a moment, but he couldn't break the iron grip of those unforgiving hands. Hiccup kicked backward reflexively, and he hit something that felt like a leg. In retaliation, his captor rammed himself back inside, and Hiccup shrieked from the pain.

"I'm here," Astrid assured him, pressing a kiss into his hair. Hiccup gripped her a little tighter, pushing his face into her shoulder a little harder, finding comfort in a darkness that smelled like her.

"Take me home," Hiccup begged breathlessly, "Please, Astrid. Help me."

Just when he thought it would never end, the Dude finally pulled out of him, panting, and letting his grip on Hiccup weaken just enough that the boy was allowed to collapse in a heap on the floor. He was afraid to move his legs, because there was a painful throbbing between them, and his thighs felt like jelly. In his half aware state, he realized there was a warm, wet substance dripping leaking out of his crease, and he shuddered in disgust and terror.

"You're safe," Astrid told him, pressing her forehead against his, "You're always safe with me."

He felt her exhale against his lips, closed his eyes, and decided he never wanted to open them again.

Hiccup's meal was left on the ground for him, while the Dude took his leave and headed out, bored with his toy and no doubt moving on to play with the next one. The boy simply lay there, frozen, in too much shock to pull his pants back up for several minutes and in too much pain to move anyway.

When he finally felt that it was safe to move, he reached down and rubbed his fingers in the liquid seeping between his legs. A sniff revealed it to be a mixture of semen and blood, and Hiccup shivered, his appetite fleeing him immediately and completely.

"Astrid," he whispered her name like a prayer, as if she would hear it wherever she was and come to his immediate rescue.

"You're safe," she whispered again, voice fading like the last note of a song, "I'm here."

000

"I've finally gone mad," Hiccup murmured a few days later. To anyone passing by, they would have seen that he was talking to nothing. But the precious little food, lack of sleep, and bitter cold of his cell had begun to project Hiccup's visions beyond the inside of his mind to the outside. Right now, he was seeing Astrid, sitting a few feet away, her legs stretched out in front her and her face worried. Part of Hiccup knew this was all in his head, and yet…

She shrugged, flashing him a half smile. "Maybe you have. Do you really care at this point?"

Hiccup thought about it, before he shrugged back, finding that the answer came more easily than it should have. "No."

Perhaps his reactions were just dulled from how weak he was (he could count almost all of his ribs now just by looking at them, and his hipbones were so sharp he thought he could poke someone's eye out with them), but he found he didn't mind too much that he was beginning to see things that weren't there. Especially when it was the projection of the woman he loved, and she was looking at him so kindly.

He was delighted when she patted her knee, inviting him to come closer. Hiccup immediately tried to obey, but fell back on his knees a moment later, grimacing.

"I can't," he explained, "It hurts."

Astrid clucked sympathetically at him, and scooted closer, coming over to him instead. When she was still again, Hiccup gingerly laid down, head resting on her thigh, breath nearly lost at how solid and real she felt, how warm she was. She was here, here at last. He could almost feel heat returning to his perpetually numb extremities, feel peace leak into his chest and soothe his heart's anxious beating. Hesitantly, he reached up and placed a hand on her knee, marveling at feeling of solid bone beneath his fingers. He feebly hugged her thigh, and her fingers came up to stroke his hair against his neck.

"What hurts?" she asked gently.

Hiccup's chest kept hitching, overwhelmed by her concern after being without it for so long, even if it was just in his head. "He came in today with another guard. First time that's happened. They didn't say anything and just tied me up. So I couldn't fight back. Blindfolded me so I couldn't see what they were doing. And the Dude said he couldn't leave me for too long, I was his favorite, and he…he-"

He hugged her tighter, the cold and terror of the moment returning with a vengeance.

"I couldn't see it," he continued softly, "But all of a sudden, he started sliding something cold, hard and thin inside-inside my…groin. I was so scared, I wanted to start fighting him so bad, but I was too afraid to move. It was sharp, like it was a needle or something, and it pinched so bad all the way down. I started screaming-"

Hiccup felt Astrid lean down and press her lips to his cheek, before wrapping her arms around him as best she could, and he hid his face in her thigh, ashamed and horrified.

"And then he took me again," he finished, "Told me I made the best scared face, and that if I made enough noise he wouldn't cut my dick in half from the inside. I-gods Astrid, get me out of here! I want to go home! I hurt everywhere, and I'm scared every minute of every day, and I can't do it anymore."

"Shh," she said, and it was then that Hiccup realized tears were indeed dripping over the bridge of his nose. He was shivering so hard that his head was beginning to ache as well, and he just wanted her to make it all stop.

"Everything couldn't have been all bad," Astrid insisted after a moment, "Something good must have happened while you were away from home."

Hiccup honestly didn't feel like playing this game right now. She did this sometimes, tried to get him to take his mind off a bad situation by talking about something happy. It made him feel like a child. But at the same time, he was so tired of being so scared, and his hope was dwindling so fast, that perhaps this was what he needed.

So after a moment, he replied to her softly, "I made a friend."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Aelfgifu. You would have liked her. She…heh, she was an Angle, but she wanted to be a Viking so bad after she met me. Isn't that funny?"

"An Angle wanting to be a Viking?" Astrid wondered disbelievingly, "Now I've heard everything. Though I suppose if anyone could convince anyone to change, it'd be you. You're very good at that."

She tapped him on the nose with her pointer finger, and Hiccup wrinkled his nose at her in response. The anxiety that tightened his chest and made his pulse race seemed to loosen its grip, and even if it was just slightly.

"You would have liked her," Hiccup repeated, continuing to hold her leg, "You…she-she died. For me. So I could find you again. But I was glad I could have known her, even just for a little bit. She reminded me so much of you, that it was almost like I had a piece of you with me all the time. She even fussed over me like you do."

"Thank the gods. I'm glad someone else was there to make sure you remembered to eat every day and get enough sleep."

"I get sidetracked. Besides, I eat and sleep."

"Uh huh. 'When you have time.' Those aren't the sorts of things you save for 'when you have time,' Hiccup."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks mom."

Hiccup sounded annoyed when he said that, but he was smiling. It felt good to banter about something he and Astrid had argued over time and time again. But as soon as the good feelings rose, they were smothered again.

"I feel like it's my fault Aelfgifu is dead," Hiccup said sadly, "And Selindra too. They both gave up their lives to protect me. Why would they do that? I didn't do anything for them."

"Yes you did."

Hiccup jumped. That voice wasn't Astrid's. He glanced upwards sharply to see that her face had been replaced by Selindra's, and he gasped. "You…was that you the whole time? Was Astrid here at all?"

She smiled kindly down at him. "Who knows. But I told you that Aelfgifu is still with you, didn't I? She's protecting you."

His head began to pound in confusion, and suddenly he heard footsteps begin to clomp down the hallway towards his cell, getting louder and louder. Hiccup's heart shot up into his throat.

"Selindra"- he began, his voice a breathless whisper, but her form was beginning to fade. Hiccup shook his head desperately, watching as her face seemed to switch back and forth between her own and Astrid's. Both faces were regarding him sadly.

"No," Hiccup gasped, "Don't leave me. He's coming, don't leave me!"

When she spoke for the last time, her voice was clearly Astrid's, and for some reason, that made it all the worse. "I'm sorry, babe."

And then she vanished, like fog in the sunlight. The footsteps stopped in front of Hiccup's cell, and the door creaked open. Terror clawed his belly and forced his breaths to become sharp and shallow. A cold sweat broke out over his back and under his arms, chasing away any traces of the calm and warmth that had been present only a few moments before.

The Dude loomed over him, this time with two of his friends, each of them holding phallic looking objects that they no doubt had sinister plans for, and Hiccup could do nothing more than tremble and pray.

000

It had been quiet for a few days now. Or at least, it might have been a few days. It could have been a few weeks, or months, for all he knew. Time had ceased to have any meaning for Hiccup long ago.

One day, all of the guards had simply disappeared with no explanation as to where they were going or why. They had just up and left, abandoning the prison and all the prisoners left in it. Hiccup hadn't seen any light for quite a while, and the silence was so prevalent, that he assumed that many of the prisoners were dying off, finally succumbing to the lack of water.

Hiccup felt he wasn't far behind them.

Not too long ago, he had felt a fever begin to creep into his body, filling his head and making it woozy, deadening his limbs and oddly enough offering a little mercy in the form of returning some of the feeling to his numb fingers and toes. The downside was that he could feel his temperature crawling gradually higher and higher, and as it did he began to feel worse and worse.

Hiccup had heard once that starvation itself was rarely the reason a person died; usually a disease that their weakened body just couldn't fight off that got them. However, Hiccup was pretty sure he hadn't caught something in the air, but rather had contracted an infection that likely was his own fault. The constant assaults by the Dude and his friends had taken their toll, and not just psychologically. Their actions kept re-opening a wound in Hiccup's back passage before it could heal. And yet, Hiccup still had to relieve himself every day (an act so painful he felt as though he was trying to pass shards of glass) and the toxicity of his own waste must have been enough to cause an infection. When he had figured it out, Hiccup had tried to hold his waste in so as not to make it worse, but that had only made him feel sicker.

So, here he was now. So weak he couldn't lift his head, and so hopeless that he didn't care to anyway.

Hiccup felt his insides gurgle pitifully, but he knew it wasn't because they were crying out for a meal; his stomach seemed to have gotten the idea that food wasn't going to come, and had finally gone quiet. No, the noises indicated impending nausea. Hiccup felt saliva collecting in his mouth, and almost at the same moment, felt dread collecting in his chest. He wasn't strong enough to sit up to vomit. Hell, he doubted he was strong enough to vomit, period. For several minutes, he lay there in agony, feeling his stomach contract and the sickness grow, before Hiccup at last felt the bile rising up his throat. And just as he thought, he was unable to force strength into his arms to lift himself up, so he ended up vomiting where he lay, or rather, dry heaving. To make matters worse, at that same moment, he also lost momentary control of his bowels. And worst of all, when it was all over and Hiccup lay there panting, he realized he was too weak to move himself away from his own mess.

So this is how it ends, Hiccup thought wryly, I die covered in my own shit.

Under any other circumstances, he would have found a dark sense of humor to it. But as devoid of hope as he was, as sick and frightened as he felt, he only wanted to cry. He was going to die alone, in the dark, never seeing home again. It would be unlikely that anyone he knew would find his body, if anyone ever did. And he couldn't help but think that, given how awful he felt and how fuzzy his mind was, he didn't have long before he'd draw his last breath. Hiccup just hoped death wouldn't hurt.

He wished he could hug his parents again and say how much he loved them. He wished he could go on one more flight with Toothless and feel the clouds misting against his face. But most of all, he wished could have asked Astrid to marry him. But maybe that was all for the better; it might hurt her less this way if she never knew his intentions. Yet his parents would probably tell her anyway. He could only wish that despite that, she lived a long, happy life, even if it meant he wasn't a part of it.

Hiccup sighed, and as the air left his lungs, he felt his last spark of hope drain from him as well.

He must have fallen asleep without knowing, because suddenly Hiccup was startled awake by the sound of running footsteps pounding against the stone floor. However, to his fevered brain, they sounded much further away than they really were, and they were slowed dramatically. He lifted his head slightly, listening. Hiccup immediately felt nervous, heart trying to pound, but his muscles too depleted to use the extra blood being supplied to them. Whoever was here, and whatever they wanted, he'd be helpless to stop them.

He let his head fall to the ground again, sighing.

Just then, the footsteps quieted, and a few muted voices took their place. Hiccup felt his eyes drooping again, wishing they would just stop so he could sleep, even if it meant he wouldn't wake up again. His eyes drifted shut, only to open again at the presence of a light floating towards him in the darkness. It was so bright, but what was the sun doing inside like this? Was he finally dying? He thought he'd be warmer than this. All he could hear were his own breaths, shallow, slow and rattling horribly.

Suddenly, Hiccup felt a clammy, hesitant hand on his shoulder, and stiffly, he lifted his head again to see the face of the Valkyrie taking him away.

No! No, oh the gods couldn't be this cruel, they just couldn't do this to him! Strength born of powerful shock set his body in motion, sending him jerking upwards and crawling as fast as he could towards the wall just a few inches away. He was trapped, and the faces of his deepest desire and biggest regret stared at him, wavering between the both of them. But who was it really this time, the woman he loved, or the woman that pretended to be her?

"No more," Hiccup moaned, his dry vocal chords straining, "Nomorenomorenomore, please, please. Oh Astrid, where are you? It's dark and I'm so cold and tired and I hurt!"

Where was she? Clearly this mirage in front of him couldn't be her. He just wanted her to be here for his last moments, to soothe him as the pain claimed him. He couldn't take any more of this; his mind was falling to pieces and he just wanted it to end before it got worse. But, like so many moments of agony before, there was no one there to ease his pain. He had to do it himself. "Shh now, easy boy, I won't hurt you, trust me trust me…"

He had to hide his face. The creature wearing Astrid's face was still looking at him with so much worry and love that he couldn't stand it. He buried his face in his arms and began rocking back and forth, hugging his knees to his chest, hoping she'd go away if he ignored her. But of course, she didn't.

"Hiccup," she said, "it's me. It's Astrid. I'm here, and I'm taking you home."

"No!" he exclaimed, shaking his head hard in disbelief. It wasn't her! He'd believed that too many times, and each time he'd been disappointed. "Stop it! I'm not falling for it this time"-

"Hush," the apparition murmured softly, touching his shoulder again, and he flinched violently away. Yet he could quickly feel his strength draining, and his next words came out tired and almost apathetic. "Go away. Or am I dead? Please tell me I am. I want to go home."

The woman touched his shoulder yet again, and Hiccup was too weak to keep avoiding her. So he sat there, perfectly still, feeling his fingers stroke up his neck and into his hair, and he bit his lip. He couldn't stand how gentle and soft her touch was, how innocent and comforting her fingers were. It had been so long since someone had touched him like this, and whether she was real or not, Hiccup leaned into her hand, throat tightening and ribs shuddering around the beginnings of tears.

Gods, whether she turned out to be real, or if she really was just another figment, either option might just destroy him.

But if she was real, perhaps the knowledge would only destroy him for a moment, and then finally begin to rebuild him again.

"Astrid..?"

"Yeah," she answered, "I love you."

There was a smile in her voice, so genuine, so very much there, that he couldn't ignore it. And she had said she loved him in a voice he hadn't heard in an eternity in a way he'd remember anywhere, even if he had gone blind and deaf. He'd still know it, and he'd still know her. And she was here.

She was here. Against all odds and obstacles, she was really here. Her hands were firm, and no matter how long he stared at her, she remained, the lantern light on her belt highlighting her face and the familiar spikes on her skirt. It was-she was…

She was here.

Hiccup wrenched himself away from the wall and into her arms, hugging her around the waist and burying his face in her stomach. His chest heaved, and collapsed into a sob filled with relief and suffering, of pain from his physical body and pain that ran much deeper. But Astrid had found him, and as she wrapped her arms around him, he knew she wasn't going to let him go. And he didn't want her to. Little did he know the road that still lay ahead of him, and that things would get worse before they got better, but none of that registered in the slightest. What did it matter anyway? It was over, and he wasn't alone anymore.

He was going home.