Disclaimer: I do not own How I Met Your Mother or it's characters. This is written purely for enjoyment and with no malicious intent.

"I cannot believe Barney and Robin may actually get divorced," Marshall shook his head, walking down the hall to the apartment, hand-in-hand with Lily.

"Baby, I don't think it will actually come to that," Lily disputed, biting her lip nervously.

Marshall stopped and turned to her, "Lilypad, I know you like to see the best in people, but if I were Robin, I'd divorce him and take him for everything he has- suits and all!"

"Um, excuse me," His wife began, squinting her eyes at her husband, "You're the one who is usually giving his stamp of approval to anyone and everyone, not me."

"That was before the Brad accident, remember? I'm much more stingy with my approval and Barney and his blog don't get it!"

"But, if you remember, Brad turned around after that whole mess; don't necessary throw your approval stamp away when it comes to Barney."

"Why are you defending him?" Marshall curiously questioned, dropping his wife's hand and folding his arms, "You're always the one to call Barney out on his crap all the time."

"Yes, but.." Lily felt it rising within her, the urge to spill her guts. She tried to avoid her Marshmellow's big, innocent eyes as she gulped, swallowing the secret Barney shared with her., "We should go inside. We might see Marvin before he goes to bed!"

"Lily..." But Marshall was passed by her and after digging in her purse, pulled out the keys and entered the apartment, her husband on her heels, anxious to discover why she wanted to escape him.

However, all Marshall found was disgust as they walked into their home. Lily shrieked, covering her eyes with her hands, while Marshall forced back at a gag, dry-heaving.

There, on the Erikson's yellow sofa, was Mickey, Lily's father, and Judy, Marshall's mother, naked, under a throw blanket- ironically, the one Judy made for the couple. They were mid-kiss when their adult children walked in, apparently they didn't hear, or care, about the rattling of the keys outside the door.

"Ohmigod!" Lily groaned in fury.

"On our couch?! OUR couch?! Have you no shame?!" Marshall, outraged, shouted, his voice booming throughout the living room, "Mickey, I expect this out of you, but Mom... Meanwhile, thanks for telling me you were in town!"

"I just got in tonight. I'm so sorry, Marshall," Judy, cheeks reddened by embarrassment, reaching for her clothes that were on the floor.

"Geez, lighten up! Like neither of you haven't done a little 'bow-chicka-wow-wow' while babysitting," Mickey explained, tossing his hands behind his heads, smirking.

"The kids! Ohmigod!" Marshall realized, turning around, not baring to look at the scene anymore.

"I'm gonna be sick," Lily announced, her hand flying to her mouth.

"We all are!" Marshall concurred, but his wife wasn't talking in hyperbole. She ran across the room, heading for the bathroom. Marshall's eyes widened as he heard the vomiting sounds from behind the closed restroom door and finally turned back around, facing the indecent adults. He walked towards the bathroom, stopping, briefly, to pick up his mother's clothes and ordering the two get dressed before Lily and he returned.

By the time Marshall knocked and then walked through the door of the bathroom, Lily had ceased throwing up. The redhead was now sitting on the tile floor, beside the toilet. Her husband crouched down next to her, rubbing her back soothingly.

"You okay, Lilypad? I know that... whatever that was, made me want to upchuck too. You might have to make room..."

"It's not that. I felt queasy all night. I barely even had one sip of my beer tonight and I couldn't drink anymore."

"Maybe it was Tracy's food. The salsa was a little spicy.."

"No, no, no- I didn't even eat."

Suddenly, Marshall looked at Lily, crazed like a wild man. Lily's brow furrowed, her confusion furthering as her husband grabbed her suddenly, kissing her and then hugging her tightly to him.

"Lily! You could have told me! I knew you were hiding something and I should have known after the whole Daisy incident! Baby, you should have told me. You told Barney! And he kept your secret! I knew there had to be a reason why you-"

"Marshall! What are you talking about?" He was rambling so fast and nonsensically, she was having a hard time keeping up. Frankly, his speedy-speaking was making her dizzy and she could feel bile brewing beneath the surface again.

Marshall laughed, "Come on. Lily, you're one hot piece of ass and you can make pancakes like no one else, but you are a horrible liar."

"Marshall, I..." Barney trusted her with the real root of his relationship woes with Robin; could she tell Marshall? She told her husband everything- surely Barney knew that by now. But, she didn't always tell him everything. She didn't tell him about Daisy's first word was 'Mama' and not 'Dada', like she lead him to believe. However, if he figured it out himself, it's not like she was completely breaking confidence. "Fine! Yes, I know I should've told you, but Barney was really upset."

"And you didn't want to take the spotlight away from him. I get it."

"No, just the opposite, I didn't want to put Barney on the spot. I don't think he wants anyone to know."

"Why? Oh, is it only a few weeks? Too soon to tell?"

"It may be; Robin and Barney could work it out and get back together tomorrow!"

"Okay. We'll wait, support our friends.."

"That's what I told Barney, but he really wanted me fix the problem!"

"Fix it?! He said that?! Why did I waste that one last slap?!"

"Marshall, Marshall, don't worry. I told him that if he wanted to fix it, he'd have to do it himself."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Yeah, I mean, kids are a blessing and all that greeting card junk, but you can't force someone to have them."

"Lily! What about Marvin and Daisy and-"

"Oh, trust me, if he could take them, he'd be thrilled."

"Lily, how can you talk about kids that way? You would really give them up like you want to give up the new baby?"

"New baby? What new baby?"

"Our new baby!"

"We have a new baby?"

"Well, we were going to until you talked to Barney and now you both want to 'fix' the 'problem'."

"Honey, what are you talking about?"

Marshall was taken aback, "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Barney and Robin separating because Barney wants to have kids and Robin doesn't," Lily explained, slowing her voice, as she watched her husband's reaction.

Marshall's jaw dropped slightly, "Barney? Barney Stinson wants kids? THAT'S why they broke up?"

"Yeah," She nodded sadly, "Barney was really torn up about it."

"Damn. Poor Barn; I can't believe I bought that bogus blog story- no one would believe that's why a couple with so much history would break up."

"I'm sure he'll forgive you, baby," Lily cooed, reaching out and placing her hand on Marshall's shoulder. However, she remembered their back and forth and removed her hand, "If you didn't know, what were you talking about just now?"

"You being pregnant," He answered bluntly and Lily's eyes widened before she threw up once again.