5.

Bone Dry

We towered above them all, Matthew. We were giants among men, men among mice, and we loved it. We stood tall and proud. When that eve of our prom we had some of our friends in the limo your buddy brought for his girlfriend, do you remember that? You must remember how we sat in the back after the party, well into the night. While they slept we kissed and explored our bodies. Nobody cared because they were either drunk or amused or both.

Remember when Alfred graduated? We sat in the back like an old married couple. I met him a day before officially and he liked me enough. He patted me on the back and I thought I had a bruise. Remember that? He was big and tall and broad. He went to some fancy college on a sports scholarship. I remember when you got the news. You were so happy, and so was I.

Then that summer after our junior year we went to the lake together. I got a huge sunburn on my back and you applied cream so it would stop smarting. Your hands were like silk and you scolded me but I didn't care. The cicadas sang all night and we, in that cabin with a few others, enjoyed the sweet nighttime.

Remember when you showed me to your parents? They were happy. Your mother cried and hugged me, thankful that someone had found her son likeable. Your father was happy you were happy but he was cold to the idea that you didn't have an actual wife. I was not female. He warmed up soon enough, I'm sure.

My father never found out. He was jailed and Ludwig lived with your parents for a little while. I didn't get in trouble. I had undergone a change.

You changed me.

I remember when at nights you would lie by my side and play with my chain, the black cross that hung there, and I said I would give it to you, but you refused. Your fingers still felt like silk. I couldn't kiss you enough.

Even when we got in fights it was such sweet sorrow. We argued over petty things and you nearly broke my head by throwing a phone and then a shoe, but then we would make up right away. I didn't know if I could live without you. Hell, I didn't know how I could live without meeting you.

You mean that much to me, Matthew.

You stopped making me feel bitter. You made my at-home troubles seem like nothing. You made the winters cease being cold and you enlightened the world with your inborn kindness, your empathetic personality, your patience, your way of handling me even when I was ready to kill someone from rage. You made me feel worth something. I realized I didn't need some great achievement or good grades to make me feel special, you did all that.

Remember when I proposed? It was after our graduation ceremony, after your speech. Oh, what a speech that was. You went up on that podium, the gown rippling in the hot sunshine and your glasses tinted with the glare, and your hands trembling from nerves. You were the top of the class. You cleared your throat and spoke.

"Hello, class, my fellow students. I suppose this is the time I talk about my four years here and what it meant to me, but I realize that I would bore you all to death. I think I'll talk about one day instead, and then give you a brief overview of the rest. I was down. Sure, I had good grades, but they don't matter. They don't matter when the sky is weighing on your back as if you're atlas or when your brother overshadows anything you do with his monumental victories. It doesn't matter that you know Latin better than anyone when you don't have any friends who you know you can trust and you can always look towards when you need help. That's when I decided to kill myself. I had everything ready and then, in the office as I prepared to withdraw, I met my boyfriend. I don't care what you say about it, but it's the best thing in the world for me. The sky was falling and he shouldered in, picking it up on his haunches even though he had a thousand and one other, bigger worries to worry about. His father was drunk and his little brother had no one to care for him, but he helped me so shamelessly. I was so surprised when he spoke to me that I decided to give myself a little chance and it was the best chance I ever took. I was never happier. We went on with our lives and everything continued to get better, even when bad things happened, and it all made me think about the purpose of high school. Sure you're here to learn, but not just academics but also about life 'cause you're growing constantly and it's hard and if anyone helped me the most it's Gilbert. He helped me with everything and I love him desperately for it. I love him more than anything you can imagine. I never knew that you could love someone so much. I didn't know human bonds exist like that…"

He went on to thank the other students and to thank the teachers and to say how he will miss everyone. Tears glistened in his eyes and his fingers stopped trembling.

After he finished I swept him off his feet and I kissed him hard. Then I dropped to my knee, holding him and trying not to cry. I picked up the box from my pocket and proposed to him like all those lovelorn teenagers. I wasn't the only one. Boys prepared to their girlfriends and girlfriends to theirs. Matthew said yes and I cried even though I couldn't help it.

We married and at that ceremony no one from my family was there but Ludwig, growing big and strong, smiling brightly at me. His jaw was getting broader and his muscles strong. He was a fine man and I knew he would be just fine no matter what happened, he was a stone wall that never shattered and if it did those cracks would have someone fixing them and calming them.

If there is one thing father did before drinking himself towards the theoretical bucket and kicking it, it was a few nights before. I was in my room doing homework, preparing for finals, and he called me over. He was sober. His eyes were dry, but his cheeks bright red and he was so sad I almost felt bad for him. He was once a brick wall. His wife's death broke him and then everything tumbled down more and more until he was a pile of rubble covered in a film of frost and snow. He said two words and that was the last I heard of him.

"I'm sorry."

I was sent to Jennifer shortly after we graduated, since I wanted to get into college and I had a bad record. I said before that this was the option other than jail and I meant it theoretically. This isn't how I'm getting into college either, this is to help me cope. Ludwig tries to help but he has his own things to do. I went to college for some time but I couldn't do it so I returned and we lived together near yours so I made money at a constant job fixing cars and I made a decent amount and you would have made so much more.

I remember when you got sick. It was just a light cold and I had to take care of you.

But then you got sicker.

Sicker and sicker and sicker.

The toxic fangs of grippe biting into you and tearing your flesh and biting into your bones and destroying you until you could hardly drink water and I had to leave work to help you. I didn't care. You were destined to get better.

Do you remember when I walked out in the snow alone?

Of course you don't.

That's because you died the day before.

I cried so hard I couldn't see. Jennifer was contacted by Ludwig since he didn't know what to do. She had the project ready since I was in the office when I met you. That is what this was supposed to be but it became a way to cope, as I said before.

You died in my arms. I don't know what part of you gave up first your heart or your head, but I'm certain it's your heart because your head clearly told you mouth to tell me that

"I'm bone-dry, Gil."

And that

"I'm sorry."

And that

"Gil, I love you."

And something else I couldn't quite catch because you slipped away from me and then I didn't know what was happening. Everything was destroyed in a moment and I was left alone in the world. My bones hurt and I couldn't stop shaking.

Then I walked in the snow alone. It came down lightly, soft flakes that melted right away. The clouds hung overhead, wispy at the ends and thick in the middle, covering the entire snow and glowing with some ethereal power. I looked up and let it come down. I was in my coat and scarf but I was barefoot, since I didn't care much anymore.

After that I met Jennifer and after a while she convinced me to write our story down. It's too short to be a book, but it could be a short story in some magazine. Not that I'd give our precious story away, Matthew…

So did you shake hands with a man on fire?

Yes this was very short, and I apologize for that, but I wanted to get my message across since I knew this story wouldn't gain much popularity anyway. Still, thank you who did read it for reading.