Don't own Supernatural. Warning: Contains graphic talk of the aftermath of rape and torture, talk of torture, suicide attempt, self-harm and depression. If any of these are triggers please don't read.

Just so you know, I know nothing about bullet wounds except for what I've seen on TV, I am pretty sure most of what I am putting is inaccurate. I did try doing some research but I didn't understand most of it…

Enjoy!

Sam fell asleep around eight in the morning, by ten Dean had broken every flower vase, lamps and decorations that he could get his hands on and thrown a chair or two against the wall out of anger. He basically destroyed the whole fucking room; Sam didn't even stir which just showed how tired the kid was. By eleven in the morning, Dean had done a small path on the ugly, old carpet after pacing so much. By eleven thirty he had drunk the last bottles of beers they had and sat down on the last remaining chair with the laptop open.

It's obvious to Dean that Sam hadn't told him a lot of what had happened, which means that Sam went through even worst stuff; as if what he said earlier wasn't bad enough. Dean needed to know what happened. He also needed to know the fuckers names but first, he needed to find Sam's medical files.

So using what Frank had taught Dean about hacking, he started a search to find out where Sam had stayed, what they did to him, any medical problems he could have (physical and mental) and how he got out. It wasn't hard, really; He knew Sam's alias for emergencies (Dean was pretty sure Sam would've been too busy looking for him to change the fake insurance and name), put in suicide attempt on the medical records, Sam's height and weight; bingo only two names show up. One in Ohio and one in Texas; Dean clicked on the one in Texas and… There, Sam's picture and files.

Dean sucked in his breath when he saw Sam's face. He had two black eyes, his forehead had a long, but shallow, gash running across it, and his lips were busted and a little swollen; as if someone had kissed him too hard.

Dean clenched his fists and went through Sam's medical files. The first thing that concerned him was if Sam's gunshot wound. There had been complications during the surgery; Sam had flat line four times while the doctors were operating on him. The good news was that Sam had actually missed his heart when he shot himself. It had grazed his heart and hit two of his veins but the bullet had gone straight out of his back and, by some miracle, missing the lungs, major arteries and spine. Dean kept reading and they had found high levels of alcohol in Sam's system, whip marks on his back that were in risk of infections and the whip mark on his leg had actually been infected before he got to the hospital. He had rope burns on his wrists, arms, ankles and around his neck. What got Dean the most, though, is what had gone on in Sam's private areas.

His anus had been torn and he had sixty stitches put on him. His penis had been purple; he wasn't getting enough blood circulation to it. One for Sam's testicles had been swollen. The doctors had taken pictures (Dean was deciding on whether or not he should see them) because if someone is suspected of being rape they had to get evidence and contact the police as soon as possible. The police weren't ever able to talk to Sam, though, because apparently Sam's health had other ideas.

Sam had coded three times because of surgery complications and one of the medicines they had given him had caused him a high fever and seizures. They had him on the strongest antibiotics for the infection on his leg and on his back because by that point it had also developed an infection. Sam had also been in a coma the whole time after the surgery. The doctors had little hope that Sam would pull through but, in the end, he did. He had been in critical condition for almost two months before he woke up. That's when another set of problems had started.

The next day, after Sam woke up, he had gotten out of bed (the doctors must have been surprised) and taken an almost lethal amount of morphine. The only reason he was found was because a doctor had to get something from the medical supply closet. They had him restrained for two weeks and after they knew Sam didn't have any weird side effects or other problems, they moved him to a psych unit.

Dean had hesitated a little; contemplating on whether or not he could actually read how Sam was after all he had been through that month. In the end Dean read the file, if Sam survived through that trauma, Dean couldn't just stop because he was afraid of what he see and read. He owed it to Sam. Besides, Dean had to find out what Sam had, what medications he had been taken and what had he gone through in the ward.

When Dean opened Sam's files the first thing that he noticed was the big, red letters stamped on the first sheet, 'ESCAPED'. Then Dean started reading the rest of the reports and he paled significantly the more he read.

Sam had been diagnosed with manic depression, anxiety, panic disorder, and paranoia as well as hallucinations; the depression Sam been so bad that he had developed psychosis. He had had seizures almost every day and no matter what the nurses and doctors tried, whenever Sam was left alone for even a minute, he found different ways to harm himself. He would get angry at just about anything and would get anxiety attacks if a male came to close to him. He would throw tantrums and just start yelling incoherently, or so the report said. Sam also wouldn't look at anyone in the eye; he had low self-esteem and thought he was the lowest of trash. He kept using crude words to talk about himself which Dean noticed when Sam was talking about what happened to him.

Sam had tried to kill himself three times in the unit. The first time he had gotten his bed sheets and stolen a few more and hung himself at night; a nurse found him and they almost weren't able to bring him back because he had probably been hanging for 8 minutes (they check every 15 but the nurses were really worried about Sam so they checked more often). After that every night he was put in the room under observation and restraints. Dean clicked on the video they had for observation; he couldn't help his curiosity.

There was Sam, his baby brother, restrained and twisting around to get the leather cuffs off of him. Sam had lost a lot of weight, he was pale and had deep black circles under his eyes; he probably didn't get enough sleep at the time. His eyes were puffy and tears were still coming down his cheeks. Dean heard a sob and then Sam said Dean's name. If possible Dean felt his heart break even more.

Dean watched as his little brother kept twisting around and calling his name until a doctor came in with a syringe. Sam tried to get away and kept saying 'no' but as soon as the syringe was put in his arm and the liquid was put in him he fell asleep. Dean didn't know whether to be grateful or sad.

The second suicide attempt had involved a broken chair; piece of said chair had then almost ended in Sam's guts if the orderlies hadn't tackled Sam in time. He had been put in solitary confinement for the rest of the day and the next day, too.

Dean kept reading and found out the last suicide attempt was managed because Sam had stolen a bunch of meds and had taken them all. The doctors sent him to have his stomach pumped and to make sure everything was okay. After that attempt, the doctors decided to move him into another facility that was for longer term patients and had it was its own building and had many more doctors, nurses, and different producers that went from cognitive behavioral therapy to shock therapy. That had been after Sam had been in that unit for a month and half; that explained why Sam had escaped, then.

Dean went to the next page and found all the meds they had Sam on; clonazepam for seizures and anti-anxiety, Prozac for depression, Zoloft for panic disorder and PTSD, and Abilify for the psychosis and manic depression. Suddenly it was all too much for Dean and he couldn't close the windows fast enough. In trying to close all the windows, though, he accidentally opened the pictures of Sam when he was first brought to the hospital.

Dean felt like he had been killed and brought back to life multiply times at once (which he had before) and his stomach was rebelling against the little that Dean had put in it the night before. The first thing Dean saw was Sam's back. It had practically been shredded to pieces; mutilated by whips and canes that had been used by human monsters. Dean could see barely see any skin left on his baby brother's back.

Next was Sam's legs; when the report had said infected it had been a fucking understatement. Sam's left leg was black all around the whip mark. There was pus coming out of the wound and a yellowish kind of liquid and the leg had been very swollen. How Sam had been able to drive for three days and walk on that leg was a mystery to Dean. Dean was surprised the doctors hadn't thought to amputate it.

Then Dean saw Sam's buttocks, they had ugly raised red and purple welts. Those must have hurt like hell. What killed Dean and made him sick was when he saw the picture of Sam's anus. Torn had been an understatement and Dean was surprised it had only need sixty stitches. It was bloody and painful looking and Dean just couldn't hold it in anymore; he ran to the bathroom, closed the door and vomited in the toilet wishing he could unsee what he just saw.

Sam woke to the sound of somebody throwing up their guts. Sam lifted his head a little and looked around the room; he came to the conclusion that Dean was the one in the bathroom. Then Sam looked again and saw that the room had been destroyed. There was broken glass all on one side of the room. Broken wood that Sam was pretty sure had been the chairs, Dean's pillow had been torn apart and there was cotton all over the bed. Lamps had been shattered and there was a hole on the wall that Sam could only guess had been made by having someone repeatedly punch it. Dean had basically torn the room upside down.

"Well, there goes our deposit," he got up and winced when he felt the mother of all headaches attack him. He was more than grateful that Dean had left the curtains up and closed on the windows. He was just going to go check on Dean to make sure he was alright when it suddenly hit him that Dean knew what had happened to him.

Sam felt himself lose his balance and plopped down on the bed, "Oh, God."

Sam suddenly felt that he was going to be sick. Dean knew. It was probably why he was vomiting in the bathroom, too. He probably woke up pissed off at Sam for being so stupid, destroyed the room, maybe gotten drunk and was now sick knowing that his little brother was a whore and a coward.

Sam suddenly felt the need to run. Run from Dean, run from his past, run from what had happened to him. He got up, got his duffel and put on the table while he started looking for his shoes. Then he saw the laptop and that's when Sam couldn't take it anymore. He felt his blood leave his body as he stood frozen looking at what was on the laptop; it was him and all his sins were there and Dean had probably seen it all; Sam had stood there looking at the screen for like felt like hours before he was able to move again. Now Sam knew he really had to leave, he didn't want his brother to look at him after he had seen how pathetic Sam was.

Dean washed his mouth and face after he had thrown everything into the toilet and even stayed there dry heaving; even now his stomach was rebelling, trying to throw up more things but there was nothing left. Dean looked at himself in the mirror and saw failure. He had failed to protect Sammy, he had failed to come back in time to save him; fuck he had failed even after he got out of purgatory not noticing there was something wrong with Sam. Throwing shit at Sam's face when Sam himself had gone through his own personal hell. No more. He was going to be there for Sam. Screw everything and everyone else. They had saved the world so many times and this is how they got repaid?

Sam had literally thrown himself into hell with the fucking Devil and Michael and what does he get for saving this stupid planet? He gets raped, beaten, and tortured for his troubles. As if hell hadn't been enough, this stinking planet had decided to also fuck Sam over. But, Dean was here now and he would be damned again before he let anything else happen to his Sammy. With a look of determination and his mind set he opened the bathroom door, just in time to see Sam get his duffel and go towards the door.

"Sam, where do you think you're going," Dean said with his heart in throat and walking towards Sam to close the door before he left. Dean got a hold of Sam's bicep, pulled him towards the bed that wasn't destroyed and sat him there.

"Sammy, what's the matter?"

"You saw the pictures, you saw me like that. God, please don't hate me, Dean, please!" Sam sobbed that last word out.

Dean started berating himself in his mind, 'Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why in the hell did I leave the laptop open? No wonder Sam's freaking out, seeing everything that happened to him right after he relived everything by telling me.'

"Hey, Sam, look at me," Sam looked at Dean but Dean hated what he saw, Sam was scared. Dean was pretty sure it was of him, too, not of what Sam had just seen. Or maybe it was a combination of both, who really knew? Dean doubted that Sam himself knew.

"I'm saying this again and I'll say it as many times as I have to until you believe; I don't hate you, Sam. I could never hate you; you're my little brother, the kid I raised. I changed your diapers and saw you take your first steps. I don't hate you, Sam."

Sam wiped his tears with the back of his hands and hugged Dean around the waist. Dean started petting Sam's hair; Sam loved having is hair played with, it always calmed him down ever since he was small. They stayed like that for a few minutes then Sam pulled away. Dean sat by Sam on the bed, making sure that both of their shoulders were touching.

After a few minutes Sam broke the silence, "I'm scared Dean and I don't even know why."

Dean rubbed Sam's back and said, "I know, Sammy. I'm scared, too, so you're not alone on this."

Sam pulled away from Dean and looked him straight in the eyes, "What do you have to be scared about, Dean?"

"Sammy, for being so smart, you can be so slow sometimes. I'm scared of not being enough for you; I'm scared that I won't be able to help you. Mostly, I'm scared that I'll lose you, Sam. You're everything to me. You're my brother, best friend and kid all wrapped into one gigantic Sasquatch."

Sam thought about that for a second or two and then he gave Dean a small smile. It was just a smile, it didn't hold any bitterness to it and that made Dean happy. Dean couldn't wait for the time that Sam actually gave one of those big smiles of his that showed his dimples, but at the moment, Dean would take what he could get. Dean slapped Sam on the knee and got up.

"Come on, it's one in the afternoon and it's time to eat. Want to come with?"

Sam doubted he could really eat anything, he wasn't really hungry, and he suspected that it was the same for Dean. However Sam got up because he just wanted to spend time with his brother just like before, before this whole fiasco started. He stretched a little and followed his brother to the car.

Okay, this is the last chapter. For those of you that wanted to see Dean hunting down those S.O.B, don't worry I'm making it a series and I felt that Dean deserved a whole story so he could get creative.

Sorry, this story is short, I was going to write an epilogue but I felt it what I wanted to write didn't go and this was a better ending so I'm going to write a one shot in either all of Sam's POV or mostly. Keep a look out for that.

Hope you liked this chapter.