Summary : Have you ever felt depressed ? Have you ever thought : 'If that
car would hit me right now, no one would care. Not even me...' Now that's
the feeling Matt has to live with. He feels like there's no meaning in his
life anymore. How does Matt deal with his depression ?
Warning : This fic contains very depressing stuff, cutting (! Don't wanna read, go away now !), suicidal things and presence of unbreakable friendship, of course ( !
Disclaimer : I do NOT own Digimon. Toei Animation does. Matt is NOT my own (too bad...) !
Couples : No couple in mind yet, still thinking -_-, but it wont be any shônen-ai, so no Taito or Yamachi, sorry !
Song : Crawling - Linkin Park (each chapter contains a song lyric)
- - - - - - - - - -
Rainy Days...
~By Mari-sama~
- - - - - - - - - -
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
- - -
I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
- - -
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
- - -
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
- - -
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
- - -
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
- - - - - - - - - -
Dearest diary,
Today was...wasn't any diffirent, of course...Just a day like all the others. I just realised, that now, since it's autumn, I feel much worse than before. It seems like I have nothing to worry about in the summer. Maybe it's school. School isn't fantastic either...I was late for English class again and of course that stupid lady gave me extra homework, wow, if she'd know what I'm going through...I'm not myself ! I am myself ! But I don't feel like I am. I'm so confused. I keep having the feeling that the sun will never rise for me anymore. And maybe, someday...it won't rise anymore at all...Yes, that's what I'm thinking about ! Stupid me ! Comitting suicide ?! I know...it would all be like 'Matt ?! Oh he's such a good boy, he'd never ever do such freaky thing !' But hey ! No one knows who I am. Me neither. It's a tough time for me, diary ! Really ! I feel like dying ! That's why I'm gonna tell you some things about my funeral : I wanna be buried. I especially don't wanna be fried, ok ? Keep that in mind. I wanna have white flowers at the funeral. And music...hmm...have to think about that...I'll tell you tomorrow, ok ? And besides, I'm gonna eat something. I'm hungry (first time in days!), so see ya.
The stupid ugly fucking moron freak, Matt ishida.
- - - - - - - - - -
A/N : Please review or send me a mail : [email protected] or [email protected] choose yourself ( Thanks for reading !!! This was only an 'introduction' but I hope you enjoyed. Next chapter coming up real soon, ok ? Hope to see you later ! But remember...no reviews, no next chapters...It gets all worser, that's all I can tell...so review if you want to know what's gonna happen to Matt !
Warning : This fic contains very depressing stuff, cutting (! Don't wanna read, go away now !), suicidal things and presence of unbreakable friendship, of course ( !
Disclaimer : I do NOT own Digimon. Toei Animation does. Matt is NOT my own (too bad...) !
Couples : No couple in mind yet, still thinking -_-, but it wont be any shônen-ai, so no Taito or Yamachi, sorry !
Song : Crawling - Linkin Park (each chapter contains a song lyric)
- - - - - - - - - -
Rainy Days...
~By Mari-sama~
- - - - - - - - - -
Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
- - -
I can't seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
- - -
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
- - -
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
- - -
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
- - -
There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling
- - - - - - - - - -
Dearest diary,
Today was...wasn't any diffirent, of course...Just a day like all the others. I just realised, that now, since it's autumn, I feel much worse than before. It seems like I have nothing to worry about in the summer. Maybe it's school. School isn't fantastic either...I was late for English class again and of course that stupid lady gave me extra homework, wow, if she'd know what I'm going through...I'm not myself ! I am myself ! But I don't feel like I am. I'm so confused. I keep having the feeling that the sun will never rise for me anymore. And maybe, someday...it won't rise anymore at all...Yes, that's what I'm thinking about ! Stupid me ! Comitting suicide ?! I know...it would all be like 'Matt ?! Oh he's such a good boy, he'd never ever do such freaky thing !' But hey ! No one knows who I am. Me neither. It's a tough time for me, diary ! Really ! I feel like dying ! That's why I'm gonna tell you some things about my funeral : I wanna be buried. I especially don't wanna be fried, ok ? Keep that in mind. I wanna have white flowers at the funeral. And music...hmm...have to think about that...I'll tell you tomorrow, ok ? And besides, I'm gonna eat something. I'm hungry (first time in days!), so see ya.
The stupid ugly fucking moron freak, Matt ishida.
- - - - - - - - - -
A/N : Please review or send me a mail : [email protected] or [email protected] choose yourself ( Thanks for reading !!! This was only an 'introduction' but I hope you enjoyed. Next chapter coming up real soon, ok ? Hope to see you later ! But remember...no reviews, no next chapters...It gets all worser, that's all I can tell...so review if you want to know what's gonna happen to Matt !