8: calm before the storm

a day in the life, another day, and more days to come

"Honestly, how could you let your feathers get so scrunched up?!"

"Mm, whatever. Scratch higher."

Tsuna scowled when a feathery wing lazily smacked him in the face. Growling, he grabbed it to hold it still, gently combing through the white plumes with his fingers. Reborn was watching him with one amused eye over his shoulder. He was dressed casually for once; well, as casually as he could get. Black slacks and a white button up shirt. His fedora and jacket were lying around somewhere. Tsuna was still in his weird fish-printed pajamas that made for an amusing sight.

It was an unusually peaceful morning. The humans were back at school and Hayato was still sleeping away an exhausting exorcism from the night before in their guest bedroom. The immortals were both out by the porch, door open to let in the cool October air and for some grooming on Reborn's part. Tsuna had already gotten used to the sting that Reborn's Grace gave him (or Reborn got even better at suppressing it) and he was adjusted to it for the most part.

The angel hissed when a feather snapped.

"Oops," Tsuna muttered. He put it away in the pile of fallen feathers already accumulated by his side. "Sorry, didn't mean to pluck that." He yelped when Reborn smacked him again. "Oh stop it, you overgrown chicken!"

"Hah?" With a quick movement, Reborn grabbed Tsuna by the scruff of his neck and had him in some sort of headlock. The demon sprawled in an awkward and painful way on the other's lap. "What was that?"

"Ow ow ow ow ow! Let go!" Tsuna flailed, and choked when Reborn grabbed his tail, tugging it harshly. "Reborn, don't do that!" Whimpering, he managed to roll himself away and held it protectively with teary eyes. Reborn was chuckling, eyes glinting in sadistic mirth.

"Dame-Tsuna's gotten pretty brave."

"Gee, you almost sound proud," Tsuna snapped and crawled warily back to his previous position. "Now stay still or I'll make you into a bald chicken!"

"That's an audacious statement, especially coming from you. Should I run and hide?"

"…. Are you making fun of me? You're making fun of me! You're laughi – hold still. Damn it, Reborn, I can't fix your feathers if you don't stop squirming." Pouting, Tsuna launched forward, trying to wrestle Reborn's right wing into submission. His eyes widened when he suddenly felt a change in vertigo. "Oh no…"

Reborn let himself fall back, landing on top of Tsuna who let out a muffled squeak under him.

"Heavy," the demon gasped. "Geroff. Now."

The angel smirked and shifted around, causing feathers to scatter around in the air. "Maybe I'll take a nap right now," he said, jabbing an elbow downward. He heard Tsuna yelp in pain and felt him trying to wriggle out.

"What? Noo! Heavy!" Tsuna gave a muffled groan. "Owww." He managed to get his arms and head out from underneath all the feathers with a gasp.

When Hayato came down, yawning and rubbing his eyes, he only blinked owlishly at the scene. "Too early," he decided, still dazed, and headed towards the kitchen. "Need coffee."

"Wait! Help me!"

"Espresso for me, thanks," Reborn called out.

"Espresso," Hayato echoed in stupor. He smacked right into a wall and stared at it in befuddlement.

Reborn supplied helpfully, "To the right." Hayato blinked and looked to the opening on the right.

"Your door moves, Tsuna-sama," he said in shock. He patted the wall in front of him. "Could it be…UMA…?"

"Hayatooo," Tsuna cried.

"Yo, Hayato, whatcha doing?"

At the sudden loud entrance, Hayato lost his grip on the flask he was holding and leapt away with a yelp. He glared at the intruder. "Baseball-freak," he groused, "what have I told you about staying quiet when I am working?!"

Takeshi laughed sheepishly at his friend. Since he had been spending a lot of time in Namimori, Hayato had rented out an apartment and was using it as his 'base of operations'. Currently, he was wearing heavy duty rubber gloves and large goggles. He had also taped protective padding over his body and was doing something on the table before Takeshi came in.

"Working?" Takeshi inquired and let himself in, ignoring the exorcist's complaints.

Hayato groaned and nodded. With a pair of tongs, he picked up the flask which still had a bit of liquid in it. "I'm making holy water," he said. He held the flask as far away as he could and shuddered.

Grinning, Takeshi ambled over and plucked the glass out with his bare hands. "Aw, if you needed any help with that, you could've asked!" He held the flask out and Hayato scrambled away, his hands up.

"Be careful with that!" he shouted. "Don't go pointing it at me! Now put it down!"

Takeshi looked at the liquid with a little curiosity. "How's this different than regular water?"

"It's holy."

"Eh, so it's just water then?" Sniffing the top, Takeshi threw his head back and gulped the contents down. Hayato gave a horrified scream.

"YOU DUMBASS."

Licking his lips, Takeshi gave a thumb up. "Eh, don't worry, I feel…." He paused, swaying on his feet. "U-ugh."

"B-baseball freak?" Hayato stammered. He froze, hands still out as Takeshi hunched over with his arms wrapped around his stomach. "Yamamoto! A-are you okay?" the exorcist yelped when the other boy fell to the ground and started convulsing madly. He backed away and jumped behind his couch when Takeshi started making strange noises.

Oh shit, is he going to blow up? He panicked and frantically tried to remember about previous cases of contractors and what happened when they drank holy water. He panicked even more when his mind drew a blank.

Takeshi made a high keening noise and Hayato closed his eyes, bracing for an explosion of blood and guts. "HEEE – AHHHH – BOOOOM – SHAKAAAAA- LAKAAAaaa ahahahaha!"

Hayato opened his eyes. "What."

Rolling on the ground in hysterics, Takeshi pointed at the silver-haired boy. "Your face! Hahahahaha! You should have – ha – seen your face!" Wiping a tear away, Takeshi sat up with his shoulders still shaking in mirth. "Haha, sorry, sorry! It was just too funny – um…. Hayato – w-wait - ! It was just a joke!"

Hayato's eyes flashed ominously, dynamite in hand. "I am going to kill you."

Takeshi did pay for the new carpeting to replace the old holy water soaked one.

birthday surprises are fun except when you're the one getting kidnapped.

"Lala la, lala lu, lala lee~

The little red bird sang this to me,

'Carve mama's heart right out of her chest,

Leave papa's head on straight so he looks his best~"

Tsuna sang the old lullaby quietly, flinching every time a bush rustled or a branch cracked. Trying to comfort himself, he continued to hum.

"Lalala, little demonling, lalala,

Hail the Great One, let Him hear you sing,

Dance under His bidding to the Lord of Flies,

Sleep now until it is time to rise….~"

He trailed off with a sigh. "This sucks," he said loudly. He strained around so he could see the night sky and the moon shining brightly. It was a beautiful night.

Tsuna would have appreciated it more if he weren't currently tied up and hanging from a tree.

The strain got too much and he flipped back to face the ground. "Dam you, Reborn," he grumbled. He wondered if the angel had forgotten about him. That would be very bad, considering that his true form was (temporarily) bound away at the moment.

He glumly started rocking back and forth on the rope.

"Lala la, lala lu, lala lee~,

Bleed the angels dry and clean,

Slit their throats and hear them keen,

That is the paradise in your dreams~"

A week earlier, give or take a few days...

Kyoya had a sudden thought after watching a program on turtles.

"Some scientists think these giant green beasts are actually immortal!" the chirpy narrator had said, zooming in on a (decidedly not green) bored looking creature lumbering around. "A tortoise can live for more than a century! That's a hundred years, folks!"

It was pretty interesting, actually, and it stuck to the back of his mind. He remembered the thought only after he forced Tsuna to go along with him to act as bait for would-be punks.

"How old are you?" he asked curiously as he tied up the hands of another wrong-doer.

Resigned at this point to the kid's odd violent tendencies and sense of justice, Tsuna just helped drag the body down to the police station. "Eh, I kind of lose track but around… hm, two hundred seventy was it? Or was it three hundred? Well, around that range. Why?"

Kyoya blinked in surprise, before accepting it as only a child could do. "Just because. So do demons not celebrate birthdays? You don't seem to remember your own age."

Tsuna laughed sheepishly. "Ah, well we do celebrate in the times we remember to. We tend to live long lives so it's not uncommon for someone to lose track like me. Oh, but speaking of birthdays, it's October now. In Hell, my birthday would translate to October fourteenth…." Tsuna sighed. "What I wouldn't give for some blood cake or dragon-fire pie…."

It was an offhand sort of thing, but it stuck to Kyoya's mind.

For the rest of the week, Tsuna and Reborn's refrigerator suddenly found itself being stock full of some type of meat. Lamb, chicken, beef, quail – there was quite a lot of variety. And most of them came with their heads or feathers still attached.

One day, Reborn finally had enough and stormed into the living room with a bloody goat head in his hand (it was also one of those days that Tsuna's 'strays' came around to raid the fridge and fight over the remote).

"Alright, what's the big idea?" he said and dropped the head on the middle of the coffee table. Hayato grimaced as blood dripped down the wooden legs and wiped away some red drops that had splattered on his cheek. "And what's with all of... this?"

"Birthday gift," Kyoya answered distractedly. He jammed a tonfa down on Takeshi's hand when the teenager tried to steal the remote. "For Tsunayoshi. He needs to eat more meat if he wants to become a carnivore. The head is a sacrifice." He looked extremely pleased with himself and incredibly smug. At the words, all motion stopped as the teens turned to gape at him.

Reborn just raised an eyebrow, looking unimpressed. "Birthday present?" he repeated. Hayato jumped up.

"Tsuna-sama's birthday!" he gasped. "Why didn't he tell us?!"

"It's not until a few days." Kyoya rolled his eyes.

Takeshi poked the bloody severed head, looking fascinated. "Did you kill the goat?" he asked.

"Don't be stupid, I got it at the supermarket."

"….They sell goat heads at the supermarket?"

"That's not the point!" Hayato pointed at the child. "How come you knew and not me?!"

"He told me," Kyoya scoffed. "Now stop blocking the TV, or I'll bite you to death."

"Reborn-san!" Hayato turned to the angel, aghast. "Did you know? Could it be that we missed your birthday, also? A missed chance to celebrate the birth of important people?!"

What a drama queen. Reborn resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the exorcist's flailing. "No, I'm just as surprised as the rest of you," he admitted. "I thought demons came out from eggs like angels do."

There was a profound silence.

It was Takeshi who spoke the question that was on everyone's minds. "You hatched from an egg?!" A small pause. Then he added, "That's so weird."

A vein throbbed as Reborn's hands twitched towards Leon. Annoyed, he gave a dark smile at the three boys who were now backing away from him.

Well, he said egg, but it was more than that. In Heaven, there was a large field saturated by holy fire. It was bluntly called 'Angel Garden' (usually just shortened to the Garden) since that was where angels were created. It was a very beautiful sight to behold for what the Garden held were large plants that would grow and produce flower-like buds. The buds would eventually develop into white pods that were just called eggs – looking a lot like a lily of the valley. If an angel had a particular attachment to one, they could give a bit of their Grace to it to help it hatch faster (Reborn vaguely remembered Luce doing so for one particular one). When the one inside the egg was ready, they'd come out on their own where the Gardeners would come to take care of them.

"We're not humans," Reborn reminded the boys, crossing his arms. "Angels aren't capable of giving birth. So yes; I was hatched from an egg."

It was easy to see what the three were thinking. Simultaneously, each had a different image of a baby Reborn hatching out from an egg and chirping in a nest and flying around, singing heavenly songs. It just Did Not Compute.

Of course, that was when Tsuna walked in.

Kyoya brightened and jumped off the couch, only to grab the forgotten head and proudly shove it in Tsuna's arms. "All hail Satan," he said with a smug glance to the others. The demon stared blankly at the thing that was dripping blood in his arms and on to the carpet. The jaw opened. A tongue lolled out.

"Oh," he said and fainted.

"It was a nice gesture," Tsuna said later. He was pressing an icepack to the bump on his head. Kyoya looked away, shuffling his feet. He refused to feel guilty. "But you know, I didn't really expect it." The demon turned to the teenagers who were hovering worriedly. "You two, you really have to stop showing him horror movies."

Takeshi opened his mouth. Tsuna held up a hand. "Don't think I don't know," Tsuna said with a hint of warning. The teen closed his mouth with a soft click. Tsuna leaned back on the couch with a sigh. "You humans are so strange. Why do you all think that demons are associated with goats? It's mystifying."

"Rams, actually," Hayato corrected guiltily.

"So you don't use goats as implements of sacrifice and a conduit of demonic magic?" Kyoya looked strangely disappointed. Tsuna stared at him.

"No," he said finally after a moment of silence. "No, I don't."

Reborn came in, chewing on a piece of bacon with a look of irritation. "Brat," he addressed Kyoya and threw the rest of the bacon at him. "Look, Tsuna's birthday isn't until a few days. So stop filling our fridge with food. I'm getting sick of meat. Especially duck; I actually like the little buggers when they're alive."

"Me too," Takeshi added in.

"Yeah," Hayato said as his face turned a light shade of green. He had opened the freezer earlier and had gotten a face full of large ducks that were still whole. Apparently, they were stuffed in there so tightly that all of them just fell on top of him when the door opened. He screamed so loudly, that Nagi had knocked on the door with concern.

Kyoya shook his said sadly. "This is why you're all herbivores," he sighed and threw them a pitying glance. Hayato glared at him. Reborn turned to Tsuna.

"A demon passing out at a little blood," he said dryly. "I really don't know what to say. Didn't you kill that manticore?" Tsuna scowled.

"Shut it."

"So how do demons celebrate birthdays then?" Takeshi tapped his head. "To be honest, I thought it involved a lot more blood sacrifices too."

Tsuna groaned. "It's not all that different than human celebrations!" he insisted. "You know! Like a huge cake and blowing out candles and making wishes… though that can be a lot of candles. Parties and lots of demons getting drunk…" His voice went distant as he recalled past memories. "My family always threw the best ones. Birthday parties – Vongola style. For my hundredth, Brother dragged in one-hundred demons and taped special candles to their heads. It was a lot of fun, trying to blow them all out at once without lighting them on fire. Oh, there was that time when I was a kid – when I turned thirty, I believe? I was really into the whole medieval thing. I got myself kidnapped by a dragon while my brother and his friends acted like knights and tried to rescue me. It took a while, so while they were battling it out, I ate all the cake. They were really mad about it."

He blinked and focused back on the group. He smiled. "So see? Not that different than humans." When silence was his only reply, he sweated nervously. "….Why are you all staring at me like that…?"

Reborn only got two things out of the exchange. Apparently, birthdays were an Important Matter. Also that demons celebrated with lots of fire and violence, which he could provide happily (not necessarily true, but 'through one ear and out the other', as one can say).

On October fourteenth, Tsuna opened his window to see Reborn sitting on his sill and gave a short yell. "Hiee! What are you wearing?!" He pointed a finger at him in disbelief, torn between dragging him in so that no one could see the get up and rolling around the ground laughing.

A spell and a small huff of holy fire escaped Reborn's lips as his shoulders tensed. Tsuna took a step back, his Intuition screaming.

"I am a dragon, hear me roar," Reborn said mischievously, and swiftly grabbed Tsuna around the middle and pulled him out, ignoring the other's shrieks. Before Tsuna could get his own wings out, Reborn placed a low level seal on his back.

"What are you doing?!" Tsuna screamed, but didn't struggle in fear of falling. Reborn patted him as they flew towards the more deserted part of the forest.

"I know, I know," he said with a smirk. "I am such a nice person to do this for you. No need to thank me."

"Thank you for what?!"

"The wards should last around eight hours. Should be enough time to get through my RPG-style field and rescue you."

"Rescue me?! Wait, what do you mean by that? REBORN!"

"Isn't this great? They were so enthusiastic about it."

"YOU'RE INSANE, YOU'RE ALL INSANE."

Takeshi really threw himself into it. It was like a childhood game come to life and it was so much fun. "In the name of Justice, Honor, and Duty, I shall Vanquish you! Remember my name for I am Sir Yamamoto, Samurai Knight!" Laughing, he swung his baseball bat at the enemies Reborn brought to life using paper and magic.

"Oh my!" Chief Villager grasped his hands with his own paper ones. "Thank you so much, Samurai Knight! You saved us all!"

"Hurray! Hurray! Hurray for Sir Yamamoto!" the Paper Villagers chorused.

"Oh my god, this is so creepy," Hayato cut in bluntly. He scowled and swatted away a little paper Flower Girl with blank eyes who tried to put a paper wreath on his head. There really was no other way to put it. The paper people acted dramatic, but their features and tone were so overdone that it was like one of those really scary caricatures, not to mention their emotionless expression. Hayato coughed and pointed at the other teen. He looked highly embarrassed.

"Listen here – er – Samurai Knight. I am the High Sorcerer. I am here to – ah – to challenge you! For the only o-one to rescue P-princess Tsuna-sama is – um – the Dashing and Powerful – oh fuck it."

Hayato got out his dynamite. "EAT FIRE, POD PEOPLE!" he screamed and threw it at the villagers. Takeshi's eyes widened.

"Oh no, the Villagers!" he cried and knocked the dynamite away with his bat. "Please run!" he said. Chief Villager saluted over his heart with tears in his still blank eyes that were making his paper cheeks soggy.

"Good luck, Samurai Knight!" he said before they flailed away. They made an odd sound as they ran, like when one holds a paper sheet up against the wind.

Takeshi turned to Hayato with a determined and fierce look. "I cannot abide with your Cruelty," he continued to cry out dramatically. "As such, you can only bring Unhappiness to the Princess! In the name of Justice, I will Defeat you!"

Hayato's mouth dropped open. "U-unhappiness?!" he spluttered angrily. "Goddamn it, baseball-freak, it's just a game! Quit it with the theatrics!"

Takeshi's eyes gleamed. "Call me the Samurai Knight," he whispered and charged.

"Fuck!"

Meanwhile, a few miles away….

.

.

.

"I am Hibari," Kyoya murmured as he struck down the Kingdom Knights. He grinned madly. "King Hibari, new ruler of this land. You weak herbivores will subjugate yourselves to me." He put one foot on top of a convenient rock and struck a pose similar to that of a cliché villain from an anime.

"The Tyrant is coming closer!" Knight 1 cried out to his comrades. "We have to defend our kingdom!"

Knight 2 cried out as a tonfa tore through his middle. "Oh no," he whispered. Knight 3 noticed his friend's injury and screamed, rushing over to him.

"Knight 2," he sobbed, cradling him. Knight 2 coughed and looked into the other's eyes. His hand reached out to grasp at the other's.

"Tell…my wife…I love her…." he choked. "It was fun…my friend…" His hand fell and he stopped moving.

"NOOOOO," Knight 3 cried and picked up the paper sword. He turned to Kyoya who was trying not to shudder. The whole dramatic exchange would have been heart wrenching if it were not for those emotionless eyes and face. Kyoya mentally shuddered. Ugh, he wasn't going to look at paper the same way again.

Knight 1 turned to Knight 3. "You fool!" he bellowed as Knight 3 charged recklessly. "Knight 3, stop!"

But it was too late. The boy cut him down easily and turned to Knight 1. "I'll bite you to death next," he said.

"Wait," a regal voice cut in. All the Knights gasped.

"Your Majesty," Knight 1 said. "What are you doing out here?"

The King strode over, taking off his paper crown. "It's clear to me that this man here is stronger than all of our forces," he said. "I cannot stay back and watch my people die. Here, Tyrant. Here is my crown. This Kingdom is yours now." He set the crown on top of Kyoya's head.

"Tsk," the child sighed. "I was hoping for more fights. Well, whatever." He started to walk away before the King stopped him.

"Please," he said. "I only have one wish. You see, my only daughter, Princess Tsuna, was kidnapped by a dastardly dragon. Surely you must be strong enough to defeat him!"

Kyoya stared at him thoughtfully. "Hn, well I do want to start taking over the Villages," he said to himself. He smirked. "Swear your allegiance to me and come under my command," he ordered. "I'll save Tsunayoshi, but along the way, we will take over this country! This is the new era of King Hibari!" He held his head up proudly and arrogantly.

The Paper People perked up and the previously dead Knight 2 woke up to cheer, "Hurray for the Tyrant!"

"Ugh, creepy herbivores."

.

.

.

"Those idiots," Reborn sighed.

The next morning had the three mortals sitting at the dining table in awkward silence. They were all nursing various bruises and wounds on their bodies of which Reborn had refused to heal. Kyoya was still wearing his paper crown, which was now a little burnt at the edges.

They all looked as if they hadn't slept.

"Good morning," Tsuna said brightly, entering the room. He set a rather large and delicious looking cake at the center of the table. "Last night was pretty eventful, huh?" He smiled cheerfully.

"Um," Takeshi said.

"Er," Hayato added.

"Hn," Kyoya put in.

Tsuna smiled even wider, picking up a knife. "We call this 'blood cake' back in Hell," he said, gesturing to the dessert. "It's a red wine chocolate angel cake filled with various berries." He paused to cut it neatly. Red liquid slowly gushed out. He continued, "Normally we'd put in some blood berries, but it seems Earth doesn't have any." He sighed. "Too bad. They're very tasty."

It was to be said that demons do love their sweets.

Swiftly, the cake was cut into several pieces and then Tsuna aggressively stabbed the cake through the middle. He turned back to the mortals with another beaming smile.

"Let's talk about priorities."

"I'm still not talking to you."

Reborn knocked on the door, being considerate for once and not breaking it down. He called out,

"Does that mean I'm not getting any cake?"

There was a loud noise of something shattering on the door's other side.

"Go away, you cosplay otaku," Tsuna shrieked.

(By the time Reborn had rounded up the kids who had maaaybe gotten a little too carried away, several hours had already passed and the moon was already high in the sky. To say Tsuna was Not Happy would be an understatement. He'd already overpowered the seal and returned back home by the time they remembered to 'rescue' him.)

kyoko-chan's curse

If there was a word to describe Kyoya, it would probably be 'precocious'. Several years down the road, more words would be added such as sadistic and terrifying. Eventually, the little Disciplinary Committee Prefect, Hibari Kyoya – eccentric and fledgling tyrant that he was – would be forgotten and replaced by Disciplinary Committee Prefect Hibari Kyoya-san who ruled Namimori with an iron fist… but that is a story for another day.

The point is that although Kyoya was almost freakishly savvy and well-spoken for his age (as weird as his lingo was), and also unnaturally strong, he was still six years old and thus – a child.

As anyone who remembered their childhood could recall, at that age, certain thoughts and actions could get a little strange.

Their superstitions, beliefs, urban legends, stuff like that.

Kyoya was a literal supernatural detector, but it didn't mean that he didn't have his own beliefs. Besides, as useful as the ability was, when he got an idea in his head, it stuck like super glue.

Especially when it concerned one Sasagawa Kyoko.

"She's a blight on humanity," Kyoya said lowly, pointing out a little red-headed girl with a pink flower-patterned backpack. He and Hayato were both following (read: stalking) his classmate as she was walking home from school with her older brother.

Hayato didn't say anything. He looked to him and then to Kyoya and then back again.

Finally, "You've got to be kidding me."

The boy ignored him. "Sasagawa Ryohei is made out of rock. Maybe he's her pet." The scary part was that he sounded serious.

"I swear to God –"

"She has a grudge against me for some reason. Her pet keeps following me."

"To join the boxingclub –"

"We," Kyoya interrupted again, eyes narrowing, "are going to exorcise them."

"….You aren't listening to me, are you. You little shit."

It really was funny what some misunderstandings could lead to.

Like an erratic paranoia when it came to a pair of siblings who had no idea of the stress they were causing in a future tyrant's life.

Kyoya stepped out from the shadows in front of the cheerful sister-brother duo. With his back straight and cool eyes, he looked like a dangerous hit-man or some sort of loan shark out looking for blood. You know, if they were six and kind of cute but terrifying at the same time. It was kind of impressive, actually. Hayato, who was hiding a little away, resisted the urge to take a picture.

Kyoya's tonfas slid out from his sleeves and into his hands.

"If you want to challenge me then do it directly," he declared, pointing at Kyoko. The little girl looked uncertain and shuffled nervously.

A large grin split on Ryohei's face. "Alright!" he roared passionately. "Have you decided to join my boxing club, little man?" The boy almost flinched, but he gained his composure back quickly.

"Stop hiding behind your servant!" he demanded. "And face me like a true man!"

"Oh my god," Hayato's muffled groan could almost be heard. "What is this, a movie?!"

Several things happened. Kyoko burst into tears. "H-Hibari-san thinks I'm a boy!" she started to wail. Her protective brother flailed, not sure how to comfort her. Then he turned back to the boy.

"Did you just insult my sister?" he demanded, enraged. "That's not extreme." His tone pitched low at the last word, almost turning into a hiss.

Kyoya panicked just a little on the inside, unused to the sight of a crying girl. Before Ryohei could stop him, he leapt forward and put a hand on top of Kyoko's head. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus," he may or may not have screamed.

(Hayato face-palmed)

Kyoko stopped crying. She blinked. "Eh?" she sniffed. Ryohei echoed her in befuddlement.

"….Exorcizamus te?" the boy tried again.

The girl burst out into giggles.

"Little man, you play some funny games," Ryohei said cheerfully and handed over a cone of ice-cream to the sullen Kyoya. The kid was sitting in one of the booths, across from Kyoko who happily accepted her own cone. Kyoya stared at his ice-cream in thinly veiled suspicion and disgust.

"Hibari-san is not a meanie at all," said Kyoko. There was a bit of ice-cream on her cheek and Ryohei immediately started cooing over how extremely(!) cute she was. "Onii-chan!" she exclaimed, blushing. "You talk too loud!"

"This is a man's voice, Kyoko-chan," Ryohei thumped his chest. "This is true passion! Can you feel it? To. The. Extreeeeme!"

"O-onii-chan!"

"C'mon, say it with me, Kyoko! Extreeeeme! Yeah, you can do it!"

"Extreme?" Kyoko squeaked.

"No, no. Louder. EXTREEEEEME!"

"Extreeeeme!"

"EXTREEEEEEEEME!"

"EXTREEEEEEEEME!"

Ryohei stood up, fists to the ceiling. Kyoko clapped her hands, standing on top of the seats, both of them yelling at the top of their lungs at each other. Many patrons stared. The employees uncertainly looked at each other, wondering if they should kick the disruptive customers out.

Kyoya sunk down in his seat and looked desperately out the window.

Across from the ice-cream palace was Hayato, standing on the other side of the street. The silver-haired teen dug into his ear with a pinky, a look of pain on his face. 'Get me out of here!' Kyoya mouthed, banging on the window.

"VERY EXTREME!" Ryohei shouted.

"TO THE EXTREME!" Kyoko screamed with a giggle.

A smile of realization crossed Hayato's face. He cupped his ear with one hand with an expression of pure glee. Kyoya snarled angrily. "I'm going to bite you to death," he muttered under his breath (if he were older, he might have added a couple more words like, 'you herbivorous fucker.' Gokudera Hayato would become a great influence on him, for better or for worse).

"Sorry, Sasagawa, but I'm gonna take this kid off your hands now." Hayato gave a strained smile. Kyoya stepped even harder on his foot. The teen's stomach already had a large tonfa-shaped bruise forming.

Ryohei sighed with disappointment. "It's alright, Mr. Foreigner!" he said as loud as ever. Hayato twitched. "The little man can play with me and Kyoko-chan a little while longer! Right, sis?" The girl nodded enthusiastically.

"Extreme!" she said.

"Oh for the love of God," Hayato growled impatiently. He took a step forward and stared directly into Ryohei's eyes. "We're going now," he murmured, his eyes becoming cat-like and glowing a bright green. He added in a bit of subtle hypnotism and continued, "Hibari also isn't really that extreme, so you can back off a little." He stepped back, eyes returning to normal.

He turned around and gave Kyoya thumbs up. And then jumped as a hand clasped his shoulder.

"There's never enough 'extreme', dude," Ryohei said seriously. "But I guess we do need to go get some dinner." He looked down at Kyoya. "You're gonna join my club someday, little man!" His eyes lit up with determination. "C'mon Kyoko! Let's run all the way home!"

"Running?!"

"Or you can climb on my back. Hop on!"

"Wheeee!"

With a roar, Ryohei plunged ahead with Kyoko riding piggy-back. Then he turned around and ran back to Hayato.

"By the way!" he shouted. "You have extreme eyes! They glow in the dark!"

"Pretty!" Kyoko cheered.

"No way," Hayato said blankly at their retreating backs. "There is no way he could have thrown my suggestion off."

Kyoya scoffed. "You suck."

"There is no way he or that girl could have even remembered me changing forms for a second!"

"That is because they are an aberration. A blight."

"What the hell is going on?!"

"Oh them," Reborn casually said, flipping a page in his novel. "Yup, first time the boy saw us, he complimented our extreme 'cosplay'." He flipped another page. "We were in our human forms too, but he saw through it. They both did. The girl even tried pulling off a feather."

Hayato leaned forward. "Then they're like Hibari?" He was taken aback when Reborn started to chuckle. The angel put his book away with an amused expression.

"Nope. They're just so dense that they don't even notice any wards or shields. Their eyes just plow right through them." He shook his head with another deep chuckle.

"So then what you're saying…. What you're saying is that they're too stupid to let any kind of barriers or illusions affect them." Hayato stared down at his hands in quiet disbelief.

"They're really something, those Sasagawas," Reborn smirked.

"Hibari-san," Kyoko came by Kyoya's desk after school, wearing a bright and cheerful smile. Immediately, horrified whispers started.

"Oh no, Kyoko-chan!"

"Hibari-san is gunna kill her!"

"Whadda we do?!"

"Kyoko-chan doesn't deserve this…!"

Someone actually started crying. Kyoko didn't notice.

Meanwhile, Kyoya was horrified for a completely different reason. "Is there something you need, herbivore?" he asked stiffly, trying to intimidate her away.

Kyoko scratched her cheek and gave a cute tilt of her head. "Onii-chan says you're welcome to come to the middle school's boxing club room any time," she chirped and then turned to skip back away. "Have a good day!"

Have a good day…. Have a good day…. Have a good day…..

The sentence echoed in Kyoya's mind. If anyone looked closely, they would have seen him pale dramatically with a very frozen expression.

The door slammed opened and a little boy jumped on top of Hayato's chest, sending the guy tumbling painfully to the ground.

"I've been cursed!" Kyoya yelled, eyes wild. He grabbed the other's collar. "Fix it."

"You – little – shit - !"

EXTRA: the exorcist and his apprentice

"The half-demon, Hayato Gokudera, is said to be one of the greatest exorcists of all times. Only surpassed by his protégé – Kyoya Hibari."

A hand rose. "Is it true that Chief Hibari was only a child when he first started?" The teacher nodded.

"Oh yes. During a trip to Japan, Sir Gokudera found the child in the streets. Apparently, he was abandoned by his parents and Sir Gokudera took pity on him."

"Kicked out by Reborn-san!" Hayato guffawed and pointed a finger at the fuming six-year-old. He gave him an immature expression. "Aww, widdle Kyo-chan is in trou-ble~ That's what you get for hiding the remote and stealing the cookies!"

The exorcism class teacher sighed with a romantic blush. "Sir Gokudera must have been a very compassionate man indeed! It turned out well for him in the end, though. Chief Hibari turned out to have been born a very powerful sensor. His spirituality was very pure! Seeing his potential, Sir Gokudera immediately went on to become his teacher, hoping to add to the ranks of the exorcists."

"Like I said, you can't just dump the salt in the water and throw it at people!"

"Yes I can."

"No, you can't."

"Yes. Herbivores will be herbivores."

"NO! Holy water is not that simple!"

"Yes."

"….Did you just fucking throw water at me."

"Holy water."

"You -!"

"Chief Hibari's relationship to Sir Gokudera was just like a son to a father. Even as teacher and student, they had a close relationship that they formed one of the best partnerships that the Vatican has ever seen."

"But didn't Chief Hibari go on to form his own group!"

"Oh yes. An independent group called the Foundation – formed to do the duties that the Vatican couldn't normally do without going through layers of bureaucracy."

"I hate you." Hayato coughed out dirt as he crawled out of the hole in the ground.

"I will bite that spirit to death," Kyoya angrily kicked a tree.

"That's not even possible."

"I don't care about the opinions of lowly herbivores."

"Fuck you."

Kyoya blinked and frowned. "Tsunayoshi said you're not supposed to use bad language around me." A gleam entered his eyes. "I'm not even supposed to come with you."

"If you tell him, I swear to god that I will tell him about that little 'Foundation' group you set up."

They stared at each other with blazing eyes. "….I'll give you part of the spoils," Kyoya finally relented. Hayato nodded.

"Deal, my personal bloodhound," he cackled (Kyoya almost tonfa'ed him for that comment). They shook hands.

After all, the Foundation was a pretty useful group made up of the original bullies so far. Their job? Finding out ways to stealthily steal the desserts that Tsuna either bought or made and hoarded for himself.

A demon did love his sweets, but so did too a group of children.

EXTRA 2: I want to eat cake

"It's not like I was going to let you guys have any anyways," Tsuna said as he licked some crumbs off his fingers. "Human children aren't allowed to have any alcohol, right?"

The others watched hungrily as he shoveled tasty looking pieces of the wine cake in his mouth. "Just one bite?" Takeshi begged.

Tsuna thought for a moment. "Nah," he decided and continued to eat. "Besides, eating sweet things for breakfast will only make your stomach hurt."

But you're eating it for breakfast…!

The demon's eyes narrowed and flashed orange. "Where's Reborn anyways?"

The two teens glanced at each other. "…He said something about ducks…." Hayato sweated. Tsuna smiled sweetly even as he pinched Kyoya's hands that wandered a little too close to his plate.

He's really mad, they all thought simultaneously.

edited 8/07/16