A/N: I've had this idea in my mind for a while but put it on hold because of my other story. However, I just had to write it. I wasn't sure whether to upload it or not? I really wrote it for my own entertainment and I'm not sure if it's anyone else's cup of tea :) I thought I would share it anyway. It's kind of different, not strictly canon.

If you want me to continue please let me know. I'm happy to oblige. I know exactly where I'm going with this story.

Enjoy!

~~ Prologue ~~

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"He's lost a lot of blood," a disembodied voice drifted through his consciousness.

Since when did he ever bleed? His body felt heavy, changed somehow. There was pain, his leg felt on fire. His chest hurt, unbelievably. He knew what pain was but it had only ever been fleeting, and it only ever happened when he was exposed to green Kryptonite.

"We found multiple fragments of some sort of blue rock in the gash to his left leg."

That voice again. It sounded so strange; where was he? Forcing his heavy eyelids open was an effort. Images of a place drifted through his mind. He tried grasping hold of it.

"We think we have all of them out, and the blue shards don't appear to be dangerous."

"Will he be alright?"

Mom?! She sounded so sad, her voice broken, as if catching between sobs.

"The gash to his leg was deep, there was some muscle and tendon damage but with time it will heal, as with the fractures to his ribs."

Fractures … muscle damage, but he was invincible, nothing could hurt him, nothing except … Something was horribly wrong. The pain in his heart. It wasn't physical. It was much much worse. He had to know …

"M-M …"

It was enough to get her attention.

"Clark!"

He turned his head, her face appearing before him.

"Oh Clark," she sobbed, brushing his hair back from his face.

"W-Wh … hap-pen …ed?"

He'd never seen her so upset before, but if he was okay, what else could it be ….?

Then it all came back to him in a flash. The tornados, his father was missing. He found him in the basement beneath the church. Nixon, the reporter was threatening to expose his secret. There was green meteor rocks everywhere. His father … was there … trying to help him when the whole roof collapsed upon them.

"Dad!"

His eyes widened in horror, and the look on his mother's face confirmed his worse fears.

"N-No …" his voice shook.

It couldn't be true! It wasn't true!

Fresh tears rolled down his mother's cheeks. "I'm sorry C-Clark … he didn't make it."

He didn't believe it. It was a lie! This wasn't real! It wasn't happening to him! He shook his head, his heart feeling as if it'd been ripped from his chest. He would find his father … he would … pushing the covers aside, he attempted to sit up. Sudden sharp splinters of pain shot through his ribs. He clutched them, tears springing to his eyes. What was happening to him? Holding out a hand in front of him, his eyes widened in horror at the numerous lacerations, and bruises that ran up his arm. No. No. No.

Tears blurred his vision as his eyes met with his mom. Her face full of pain.

"I couldn't save him." The words catching in his throat.

Within the space of a few seconds, his whole world was crashing down around him. He was useless, completely powerless.

His father died protecting his secret and he … couldn't … even … save … him.

"M-My fault," he stammered, "my fault, all my fault …"

The fierce pain that tore through his heart was unbearable, sobs racked his body. His mother's arms slipped around him, holding him, but he felt no comfort.

"No Clark, please. It's not your fault. Clark. Clark, listen to me!"

They were just words. It's wasn't true. Nothing she said would change that. What he had lost couldn't be replaced.

He would never hear his father's voice again, those words of wisdom, never feel his arms grab him in a giant bear hug. He'd never see his laughing face, never experience the love and encouragement again.

His father was dead.

He would live with the guilt forever, because it really was … all of his fault.

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~~ Two years and three months later ~~

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"Clark!" his mother called, her voice wafting up the stairwell. "You are going to be late for school."

Her voice stirred him from a heavy slumber. What did she say? Late for something … that's right; school.

He suddenly sat up, pushing the hair out of his eyes.

Damn, school, he'd slept in. He ran his hands over his face, feeling like death warmed up. He'd had a horrible night sleep, waking at two in the morning from a nightmare. It took forever to fall back to sleep. The vivid dreams always did leave him feeling utterly wretched. Although they had lessened with time, it was still small comfort.

He had tried drinking a warm glass of milk.

It hadn't worked.

He ate left over apple pie.

It hadn't worked.

Flicking the television on, he subjected himself to half an hour of golf.

Still nothing.

Sighing, he had searched through the bookcase for the most boring book he could find; How to win at Chess. Yep, that should do it.

It worked, but it was still close to four in the morning before he finally fell back to sleep.

Pushing the bed covers aside, he dragged his legs over the side of the bed, his feet landing on the soft carpet. His eyes fell on the jagged six inch scar that snaked down his left thigh. A constant reminder of what he'd lost; both his father and his powers. A deep ache filled his heart. Even after all this time, he still had that empty void in his life. Sometimes if felt like he was looking down into a deep abyss that could never be filled.

Shaking his head, he pushed the memories away and stumbled to the shower. This was his final year of school, he really didn't want to spend it like he had the last two. Buried deep within a rut that he'd struggled to drag himself out of, burying himself in farm chores and school work.

"This year Clark," Chloe had told him on their first week back, "Is our last, we have to make the most of it."

If only he could. If only the nightmares would stop. Just maybe he'd stand a chance of getting over it?

"You look tired." His mom observed as he walked into the kitchen.

"I'm okay," he returned over his shoulder.

Opening the fridge door, he reached for the carton of orange juice. The less he discussed the dreams the better. Turning around he found his mom watching him. He knew that concerned look on her face all too well.

"You had that dream again."

It was more of a statement than a question.

He nodded as he poured the juice into a glass. His mom didn't say anything, after all this time words were no longer necessary. And the last thing he felt like doing was going to school.

"Maybe I should drop out of school, help out more with the farm," he began, tipping the glass to his lips.

"No!" came his mom's resounding reply. "I won't have you sacrifice your education to run the farm."

He glanced across the room at her. "It would save money."

Taking the few steps that separated them, she straightened his shirt collar. "It's your last year Clark, a special time in your life, you need to enjoy it."

"I'm trying," he said with a hitch in his voice.

A smile crossed her face. "I know you are." She gave his hand a squeeze. "Now eat some breakfast before you leave."

He glanced out the window, spying Chloe's car pulling into their driveway from the main road.

"No time, Chloe's on her way here."

He reached for his bag on the counter.

"Clark," she began.

"It's not as if I'm going to fade away to nothing, mom," he sighed, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll be fine."

Pulling the door open, he stepped out onto the patio. As the car approached he noticed Lois siting in the passenger seat. His heart sunk. What was she still doing here? Wasn't she supposed to be going to College? He'd been subjected to her taunts pretty much all of the summer holidays. She drove him crazy. She was the most annoying person he knew.

He couldn't wait for her to be gone, but now it looked as if fate had other plans, unfortunately.

"Just great," he muttered to himself. "Another dose of Lois Lane."

He braced himself for what would come next.

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A/N: Please leave a review if you like! I know this prologue is pretty angst driven but the whole story isn't. It's kind of has everything in it, drama, plenty of humour and lots of growing friendship moments between Lois and Clark.

On a side note, for some strange reason I am getting no fanfiction prompts to my email account. It's been like that since I uploaded my last chapter for my other story on Thursday. So if you have tried to send me a message, and I haven't replied you'll know why. I'm not sure if it's just my email account and/or if other people are receiving email prompts when I upload?