Yeah, we all hide our desire
And then we feel the beat like fire
Can somebody let the beast out, baby

It's amazing how things can go from happy to sad in the span of only a few moments. How desire can give you an impulse to rise to an occasion, one that you had no idea you could. You go so fast you don't see the consequences of your actions today. That was how Paul had felt at that exact moment. The moment when he found the woman he loved lay there on the ground before him, as his best friend held him back. A memory flashed through his mind, one that he would always remember.

Flashback

The ringing wouldn't stop. No matter how much he wished for it to go away, it wouldn't stop. Cracking an eye open he sighed. There it was waving him in the face. The sun shining as it contrasted his mood for the day. How was it possible to have this gift of super senses and he didn't want anything to do with it? Can it be that all he wanted was a normal life? Would it be too much to ask to have a normal human life and be happy with that outcome? Losing the wolf it seems would leave him just a weaker human and he couldn't unsee all the horrors from the past decade. His relationships with the pack were his only link to a family that he had missed. The imprints of the pack were his last link to the human world and he grieved for the deaths that had, unfortunately, been brought to their doorstep; completely taunting them that they would still never be at their best. They were predators in every sense of the word, but without the urge to kill a human as opposed to their vampire counterparts. Immortal would seem a great thing, yet, it also seems to be a misleading menial thing. The consequences would be that he would have to watch his family die right before his own eyes.

How was this supposed to be fair? How was he supposed to be okay with all of this? Sure, he would be able to quit phasing one day, but how would it feel to actually lose the one thing that hardened his skin and protected him from what others called the unknown.

He rolled over and sat up in his bed as it groaned under his weight. Two years of this and he already hasn't thought of anything to better himself. He promised himself he would finish college, but has yet to even reapply. He knew his time was coming and it was coming fast. He just wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life. This was his life, day after day.

Then She came…

The woman that made it all seem stupid. The one woman that could actually be his link to salvation. He was ecstatic to meet her and get to know her.

End flashback

The moment their eyes had met it was over for him. He tried everything he could think of to make her see him in a different light and he had succeeded to better himself with her help. It was all her. She was his better half and his held his heart.

So the fact that he had to watch as she died right before his eyes was heartbreaking and he knew that his heart was dying with her. He didn't know what to do, so he fell to his knees and the dam broke. Her broken body lay in front of him, a mangled mess of limbs and torn flesh. The right side of her face smashed in and the left side untouched. Her right arm held on by nothing more than thin ligaments. Her legs a mess of split bones and skin.

Jared closed his eyes as tears streamed from his face. A hand placed firmly on Paul's shoulder to hold him in place. They were too late to save her. His sister in every way but blood. His best friend's life was now held on a precarious edge and he knew one shove and he'd go over that edge.

Paul felt his body already shutting down and he growled. How could he not have saved her? How could he not have protected her? How did he lose her?

"BELLA!" Paul screamed to the sky.