AN: At the end of episode 4x17 (Empire of the Sun), Blair kisses Dan in her penthouse after Chuck's party just to confirm that there's absolutely nothing more going on between them than just being friends. Meanwhile, on eve of closing his deal with Bradley Kidd to save his father's company from being sold and dismantled, Chuck has just learned from Russell Thorpe that his father was responsible for the death of Raina's mother. Hurt, angry and broken by the news, Chuck has Serena shut down the celebration and after several shots, decides he needs to find Blair and talk to her, believing that she's the only one who can understand what he's going through at that moment.
In canon, we learn in the next episode (The Kids Stay in the Picture) that Chuck never did get to talk to Blair that night as she refused to speak to him and let him into her room, shutting herself out from everyone for nearly a week as she's confused over what her kiss with Dan meant, deeming it life-changing as it made her realize she wants to be with Chuck. Chuck finds out for himself though, via Blair's boss Epperly, that she had a life-changing kiss and gets jealous when he learns it was with Dan, proceeding to humiliate him at the Taschen Modern Royalty photo shoot, prompting Blair to question what she was thinking, much to Chuck's dismay.
However, what if that night after the party Blair did let Chuck in to speak with her? How would things had been different?
Hope you enjoy it!
His lips were soft, but not nearly as soft as his.
His kiss was firm, but not passionate and all-consuming like his kisses were.
His kiss was just a kiss, unlike his kisses which always left her wanting more.
His kiss was over just as soon as it had started, unlike his kisses which seemed endless.
"And that's that," Blair repeated as she no sooner opened her eyes and took a step back. "Goodnight, Humphrey," she promptly told him as she retreated up the stairs to her room, leaving him to figure out for himself what their kiss meant to him as clearly it meant nothing to her.
Except it did mean something to her.
"Oh god, what have I done?" she groaned to herself as she threw herself on her bed, trying to make sense of it all.
The entire time her lips were pressed against Dan's all she could think about was Chuck.
While it broke her heart to hear him confess just how much Raina had meant to him on Valentine's Day, she hadn't realized just how badly she wanted to be with him. And now, because of her kiss with Humphrey, she knew that no one's kiss would ever compare or be able to measure up to his.
"Ugh, I can't believe it took kissing Humphrey to realize that," she spat, trying to rub the feeling of him off her lips. "But now what?" she wondered to herself, confused as to what would happen next.
Regardless of how Dan felt about her, she could only ever think of him as just a friend as she was now certain that it was Chuck she truly wanted. But did Chuck still want her? Him and Raina may be over, but was he still hung up on her?
She had no sooner began to wonder when there was a frantic knock on her door.
"Blair! Blair, open up! I need to talk with you," she heard his voice carry from the other side of the door as he continued to pound away at it.
"Chuck?" she questioned, even though she already knew it was him. She nearly froze, trying not to panic, a swarm of emotions rushing through her as she tried to sort out what her kiss with Humphrey had meant for her. For them.
"Yes, Blair – it's me. Please, let me come in, I just... I just found out something life-changing and I think you're the only one that would understand," he explained through the door.
Oh god, how does he know?! She began to panic, wondering how in the world he could have possibly found out about her kiss so fast – as far as she knew Dan hadn't sent anything in to Gossip Girl as she had yet to receive a blast... unless that bastard told Chuck himself what had happened. But then how did he get here so fast? She couldn't help but wonder.
"Blair, please?" he pleaded with her once more.
Sighing, she reluctantly dragged herself off her bed and proceeded towards the door, nervous yet anxious about what he could possibly have to say.
He's here though and wants to talk, so maybe that's a good thing – maybe he does still want you like you want him, she thought to herself as she hesitantly placed her hand on the door handle and began to turn it.
"Thank god," Chuck sighed when she opened the door and he finally saw her.
"B, I'm really sorry – something happened tonight, he won't tell me what but he had me shut the party down and then I found him at the bar and he was rambling on about Bart and said he needed to talk to you... that you were the only one who would understand," Serena quickly apologized as she appeared in the hallway behind him.
"No, S, it's fine," she assured her as she motioned for Chuck to come in, closing the door behind him. "Something with Bart... Chuck, what's wrong? What happened?" she urged him to tell her as she noticed the dazed and terrified look on his face, a bit relieved that he wasn't there because of Dan.
"My father... you of all people know that all I wanted was to know him, for him to let me in...yet he lied to me until the day he died," he began to tell her as he took a seat on the edge of her bed, looking almost as lost and broken as he had the night he showed up after his father's funeral.
"How so? What are you talking about?" she pressed him further as she stood in front of him, trying to coax him to continue.
"Russell Thorpe... remember that fire my father was responsible for that killed a security guard years ago that Humphrey found out about and was going to publish?" he asked her at once.
Blair simply nodded as she recalled the incident, trying not to wince at the mention of Dan's name.
"Avery Thorpe - Russell's wife and Raina's mother – my father owned up to the accidental death of the security guard but he never once mentioned that a woman was killed also. A woman he was having an affair with and recently learned she was going to leave him," he explained, looking up at her with glassy eyes as he fought back the hurt and anger that was brewing within him.
"Chuck, come here - calm down," Blair gently told him as she sat down on the edge of the bed beside him, taking him into her arms, pulling him to her just like she had that night after his father's funeral.
"It's just... all this time... I've been fighting to save his legacy – Lily even turned herself in just to help save it – and now that I've procured it... I can't help but wonder if it's even worth saving, knowing now that he was a murderer," Chuck sighed as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to take comfort in her embrace.
"How do you know for sure Russell is telling the truth? Have you looked into his story yet? Made sure it all checks out? What if this is just what he wants, Chuck - to make you doubt and question everything you thought you knew about your father?" she questioned him, wanting to give him some sliver of hope that Russell could be wrong.
"That is a possibility..." Chuck admitted as he realized she made some valid points. Points he would have would realized on his own eventually had he not been so initially worked up over the whole situation. "I'll have to have Mike look into it first thing tomorrow," he stated as he sat up once again. "Thanks, Blair – I knew you'd understand," he told her as he began to pull away and stand up."I should probably get going."
Blair reluctantly nodded as she watched him walk towards the door, deciding to get up and follow him.
"Chuck, wait," she called to him as he reached the threshold. After everything she had been through tonight with Dan and the revelation she had just recently come to, there was no way she could just let him leave without knowing for sure.
"Blair, I-"
But he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as she pulled him towards her by the lapels of his jacket, bringing his lips to hers. And instead of pulling away, he kissed her in return.
Unlike Dan's lips, his were soft.
Unlike her kiss with Dan, this kiss was passionate and all-consuming.
Unlike her kiss with Dan, this kiss left her wanting more.
Unlike her kiss with Dan, this kiss could be endless if they had both wanted it to be.
Opening her eyes as she slowly pulled away from him with a slight smile on her lips, she couldn't help but notice the look of shock and confusion on his face.
"What was that for?" he inquired as his lips slowly curved into a shy grin.
"Just something I needed to be certain of," she casually replied, having gotten the answer she so desperately needed and seeked.
"Oh yeah?" he pressed her further, curious as to what was going on.
"Chuck, I'm going to be completely honest with you – earlier tonight, before you came here, I had... a life-changing kiss with Dan Humphrey," she nervously admitted to him.
"You what?! Why on earth would you willingly kiss him?!" he exclaimed, shocked even more so than he was when she had suddenly kissed him.
"We're not together right now, Chuck and besides – you've kissed a lot of people when we weren't together," she quickly reminded him, getting a bit defensive.
"But you're not supposed to kiss him!" he snapped as he started to get upset, wondering why the hell she bothered to tell him at all. "He's Humdrum Humphrey!"
"Regardless, it's a long story, but the point is... it was life-changing because it made me realize something," she continued.
"Which is...?" he prompted her to go on, wondering what her point was if not to torture him.
"It made me realize that I want to be with you – you're the only one I ever want to kiss," she shyly confessed, the slight smile reappearing on her lips once more.
"Is that so?" he questioned after he let her words sink in for a moment, his lips slowly started to curve upward as he realized what she had just told him.
"It is," she slowly nodded at once.
After a brief, awkward silence, she felt his hand around her neck as he pulled her towards him, his lips passionately pressed against hers as she slid her own hands up around his neck, her fingers getting lost in his hair as she greedily accepted his kisses, returning them with her own.
As he slowly walked her backwards towards the bed, only separating his lips from hers for a split second to gasp for air, she heard him softly mutter "You're the only one I ever want to kiss too."
