Disclaimer: All recognizable Rizzoli & Isles characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners including, but not limited to Tess Gerritsen. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fan fiction story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No financial gain is associated with the publishing of this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: This is a heavier piece. Fair warning. -dkc
Comfort
Maura exited her bedroom and made her way to the kitchen where Angela was busily wiping down the counters.
"You don't have to do that, Angela," Maura sighed as she leaned against the island.
"I need to do something," the matriarch replied.
Continuing to lean against the island, Maura's eyes followed the circles Angela made with the rag on the countertop. Her mind was elsewhere.
"As soon as Frankie gets here I will get out of your hair, dear," Angela caught Maura's eye.
Maura simply shook her head. She was in no hurry for Angela to leave. Almost on cue, Frankie knocked on the side door and let himself in.
"Frankie," Angela placed a kiss on her son's cheek and gave his bicep a squeeze.
There was pain and exhaustion on Frankie's face. When Maura's eyes met Frankie's, they shared a moment of mutual understanding of how terrible the day had been. Maura stepped forward and gave Frankie a comforting hug. Whatever weirdness there had been between them after Frankie had kissed her and revealed his crush on her was gone now.
"I'm glad you're staying," Maura offered a gentle smile.
Frankie had agreed to stay over in the guesthouse for no other reason than to shut his mother up. Her worry about her children was something none of them dared challenge.
"How's Jane?" Frankie asked Maura.
"I gave her a sedative, she's asleep now," Maura answered.
Frankie nodded. There wasn't much he could say. There wasn't much any of them could say.
"We should let you get some sleep, too," Frankie looked to his mother to make sure she heard him.
"If Jane needs anything," Angela said. "Or you, of course."
"We should be okay," Maura had long ago stopped being surprised by how easily the Rizzolis offered support to one another.
"Goodnight," Angela leaned in and kissed Maura on the cheek.
Frankie smiled at the doctor and held the door for his mother. Maura followed them to the door, locking it behind them and turning off the kitchen lights on her way back through. She stopped in the hallway, staring at the artwork that Paddy had done of Hope at what she thought was her baby daughter's grave. The heavy feeling of untimely death was overwhelming and Maura found herself crying. She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing Jane's strong arms could embrace her in this moment of pain.
Pulling herself together, Maura made her way down the hall to her bedroom. Standing inside the door, she watched the sleeping detective. The soft light from the lamp revealed the streaks of tears and mascara on Jane's face. Her strength got her through the workday after she'd learned the terrible news, but she had fallen apart as soon as she and Maura got home.
Nothing could have prepared them for the shock of learning of Barry Frost's death.
"Maur?" Jane's voice was groggy with sleep.
"Yeah," Maura moved closer to the bed.
Sitting at the edge of the bed, the small space between Jane's lying body and the end of the mattress, Maura ran a hand gently through Jane's messy hair.
"For a minute I thought it was a bad dream," Jane croaked.
Maura didn't mind allowing Jane to see her own emotion as tears streamed down her face once again. After Jane reached up to wipe a few of the tears away, her hand found Maura's and remained on top of it.
"Are you coming to bed?" Jane didn't bother pretending that she would or could go sleep in the guestroom. She would be with Maura tonight.
"I need to change and remove what's left of my makeup," Maura answered.
"Honey, what makeup?" Jane tried to joke.
"Give me a few minutes," Maura smiled.
While Maura changed into her pajamas and prepared for bed, she caught her reflection in the mirror. She wondered when the lines around her eyes had become so pronounced. She was getting older. She was exhausted. And not simply because of the hell they had endured today. The hell of losing a colleague, a friend, was great, but there had been something especially trying about the last few months. Was it Jane? The broken engagement and the pregnancy scare had strained their friendship in ways she had never expected and still couldn't quantify. Was it her failure at relationships? Or the increasing distance she felt between herself and her mother, Constance, after having become quite close in the year before. Or could it be the cases they'd faced, the constant threats they encountered because of their jobs? She was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.
Exiting her en suite, she wasn't surprised to find Jane had fallen back asleep. The sedative would allow her to sleep through the night. What tomorrow would bring would undoubtedly require rest. How they would move forward now was in question. The department would never be the same. Would Frankie? Would Jane?
Maura pulled back the blankets and crawled into bed. She switched off the lamp, her eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness. On her back, she stared at the ceiling. The tears were once again building, threatening to spill. Before she knew it, she was sobbing. She tried desperately to hold still, but could feel her body shaking.
"Come here," Jane's raspy voice broke through the sound of Maura's sobs.
Jane opened her arms and pulled Maura against her. She pressed a kiss to Maura's hair. Despite the sedative, Jane had tears streaming down her face, too.
"We deal with death every day…" Maura whispered.
"Not people we know," Jane responded. "Not Frost"
Those last two words barely got out of Jane's mouth before she choked up. This time it was Maura pulling the lanky brunette into her body. Jane's head fell to Maura's chest, her tears spilling, her sobs piercing the silent bedroom.
"Shhh," Maura hummed.
As much as the death of their friend hurt Maura herself, it hurt her even more to both see and hear the pain Frost's death was causing Jane. She held tight to Jane, her tears joining Jane's.
When the detective's sobs slowed, she didn't remove her head from Maura's ample chest. It felt right, being comforted like this.
"I'd heard veteran cops talk about losing their partners," Jane's words were soft, broken. "The younger ones talk about a brotherhood."
Maura's fingers were now running gently through Jane's hair as she listened to what her friend wanted and needed to say.
"I thought it might be different on the force for me, being a woman. I didn't know that the brotherhood would be so strong. I feel like I lost my brother," Jane's words were followed by what could only be described as a whimper.
Maura's lips pressed to the crown of a messy head of hair.
"I never told him, Maur," Jane cried. "I never told him that I loved him like a brother."
"Oh, Jane," the doctor turned so they were facing one another, her hands cupping Jane's face. "He knew. There is no doubt in my mind that he knew."
As Jane's sobs returned, Maura's thumbs wiped away the tears and when she couldn't keep up with them, she pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of each of Jane's eyes. She found herself kissing the path of Jane's kisses down to her chin. When she opened her eyes, even in the dark of her bedroom, she could see Jane's dark eyes peering at her. She knew Jane well enough to know that there was something the detective wanted to say.
"What is it?" Maura's brow wrinkled in concern.
"There is so much that could happen," Jane's voice was raw, serious. "On the job, in our lives."
"You have survived things no human being should," Maura assured. "Nothing is going to happen."
"But it could," Jane's hands took Maura's in her own, holding them below her chin. "I won't let it happen again, Maur."
Maura's confusion was slowly lifting as she realized her friend was not speaking of preventing the unthinkable, the unthinkable was what it was because there was no preparing for it, not preventing it from taking one or both of them at any time.
"You have to know," Jane's rasped. "You have to know that I love you."
Tears were falling over the light freckles on her cheeks. Her hazel eyes were looking back at Jane with the same love that Jane had voiced.
"I know, Jane, oh, I know," Maura cried.
The doctor's lips were no longer confined to the corners of Jane's eyes, her cheeks and chin. Her lips pressed to Jane's, affirming their love. She didn't push, the pain they both felt was too raw, too new. She also didn't assume, keeping the kisses gentle and short. She couldn't force a greater commitment on Jane, not now. But the brunette was willing to commit. Her lips pressed slightly harder, her tongue traced the plump lip she had pulled gently between her teeth.
"I love you," Maura's voice sounded almost foreign in her own ears. Laced with wonder, fear and grief, it was not the certain tone she'd come to use in even the most uncertain circumstances. "Jane…" She held them together, forehead-to-forehead. "Love you."
They held each other, their tears eventually fading until the exhaustion of what the day had brought overtook them. There would be many more tears. The pain would clutch them, the grief strong, but together they would make it through this terrible time. Their love, it had always been strong. Their love, it had always been their greatest comfort.
-finis--
