The Return

Jax

Jax swore as he raced through the familiar halls of St. Thomas Hospital. He was late for the fucking Lamaze class he had promised Wendy he would take with her. As he paced the halls, looking for pregnant women and their husbands, Jax stopped himself.

Find someone who can help, he thought as he looked around, Because you have already been down this hall.

Jax waked to the nearest nurses' station.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where the Lamaze class is?" he said, smiling at the nurse. The nurse flushed and nodded, standing and saying, "I can take you there."

He winked gratefully, knowing she was prolonging their interaction. He was bored with women's fascination in his pretty face mixed with his bad boy persona. They all stammered and stuttered whenever he was around. He would love to meet a serious woman, but unfortunately he was married to an unstable, recovering drug addict. He currently had enough on his plate.

The nurse took him to the elevators, then down three corridors. Thank God he had asked, because he never would have made it on his own.

After thanking the flustered nurse, Jax smiled apologetically as he entered the room. This wasn't his first time being late to a class. It was just his style. Fortunately Jax didn't seem to have missed much as they were going over a pamphlet regarding the other classes offered at the hospital.

As he sat behind Wendy on the floor, he knew with certainty that he wouldn't be doing this shit again. Wendy could learn how to breathe on her own.

As the teacher droned on about the importance of her class, another couple walked in the class late, smiling apologetically like Jax had. Jax shot them a reassuring smile and as they walked to take their seat Jax glimpsed out the door to the hallway at a group of approaching nurses and doctors.

Just as he was about to focus on Wendy and the instructor once more, he heard it...that laugh. It was like tinkling bells to his ears and every hair on his body stood to attention. Jax craned his neck so he could look out into the hall and spotted her as the group shifted and revealed among the group of doctors and nurses.

She looked so...grown up. At home in her scrubs. Comfortable in her skin. Tara tied her scrub cap on, clearly getting ready to go into surgery.

Tara had done it then. She was a doctor. Jax wondered what kind of doctor she was as he watched his high school sweetheart smile up at the doctor who was making her laugh. She looked even more beautiful than she had when they were sixteen. Fuller, wiser...worldlier. He was intrigued all over again and wanted to learn everything about her.

Her brown hair was long, sleek and shiny. Her eyes...he had never seen any match to their unique green color...like gold and green mixed together. Jax remembered staring into those eyes wondering which it was...gold...or green? He honestly couldn't tell. What the hell did her license say, he wondered.

"Mr. Teller?" the instructor called, loudly, clearly not the first time she had called for his attention. But he couldn't give it to her. Jax was too focuses on the woman who had stolen...and broken his heart almost twelve years ago.

As his name was spoken loudly, Tara's head jerked up and she looked around until their eyes met. Hers shocked...his...what was he? Happy? Confused? Turned on after seeing his sexual muse in the flesh after ten long years?...all of the above?

Tara composed herself, looking down at her sneakers to clear her expression. She had never been very good at it before, so it was no surprise that she couldn't now. Tara looked up and met his gaze and he was frozen. Would she ignore him? Pretend she hadn't seen him? Acknowledge him and walk on?

Wendy elbowed him in the ribs and turned, clearly pissed that he wasn't paying attention. She then followed his gaze and fury danced across her features. She placed her hands on her belly and scowled in Tara's direction. Tara looked a little surprise as she realized what she was looking in on. The pregnant woman and Lamaze instructor...Jax watched as it all clicked into place.

Tara's eyes shot back to Jax's, shocked, but after a few seconds gave him a small smile before refocusing on her group...disappearing as they rounded the corner.

Jax's heart was beating frantically and he felt like he had taken a drug that gave him an intense high, followed by a crushing low.

Her smile said 'Congratulations' and 'I'm happy for you'.

What Tara didn't know was that Jax was married, but incredibly unhappy...and lonely. What she didn't know was that he had a baby on the way, but it wasn't one he wanted...or ready for, no matter how many Lamaze or birthing classes he took.

"What is she doing back?" Wendy hissed to him, narrowing her eyes as she studied him.

Jax shrugged in what he hoped was a nonchalant way and focused on the Lamaze instructor. He prayed that by listening to the instructor, Wendy would drop it and not make a scene. He glanced down at her and her eyes were focused on where they had last seen Tara.

Jax brushed her hair away from her face and smiled down at hers. She gave him a small smile in return even though she seemed a little sad. And afraid. Jax had never been a good husband to Wendy. But it didn't mean he didn't care about her.

Jax inclined his chin to the instructor to draw Wendy's attention back to her. He needed some privacy so he could process Tara's return and he couldn't do it with Wendy watching him, looking for any indication that it affected him like it did.

Wendy focused back on the instructor after a final glance at him. Jax knew he couldn't allow himself to lose control on the walls just because she was back. He had built walls...high walls when Tara had left. He couldn't let her knock them down.

Jax was a VP now for Samcro. More invested than he had been when she had left. Tara had always worried about his future with Samcro...always wondering about the danger and other bad shit that he would be doing the longer he was in. Well now he was in the thick of it.

Tara ran for the hills as a prospect...she would never...could never handle what he did day to day now. Jax hated the feeling of disappointment he felt as that truth sunk in.

Tara

Tara scrubbed out, the usual rush of exhilaration dampened by the mini freakout that was brewing inside her after seeing Jax. She had been back three and a half weeks and she wondered how long it would be until she and her high school sweetheart came face to face.

That wasn't how she had seen it happening though. Jax and...his wife in a Lamaze class...it was so surreal! Tara tried to remember her name…but it wouldn't come to her. She had gone to high school with Jax and Tara, but it had been so long that Tara couldn't remember.

Tara looked down at her now red hands. She had scrubbed too hard and too long. She pitched the surgical bar of soap and dried her hands. Tara pulled her scrub cap off and leaned against the sink as she contemplated her feelings about seeing Jax.

Tara had to admit it hurt to see him. He looked the same. Her beautiful rebel. He looked a little fuller...more muscular. And he seemed like he had seen things...things she wasn't sure she wanted to know about.

But Jax was different in all the ways that mattered...he was married now. With a baby on the way. She realized he wasn't her rebel anymore. He was another woman's husband and a future father.

As Tara walked out of the scrub room, her shoulders slumped as she felt a small, sentimental part of her heart break. After she had left Charming, Jax had stayed in her heart. She always thought maybe someday….

Well, that day would never come now. She pursed her lips, fighting tears as that sunk in. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. If she walked out into the waiting room with tears in her eyes, the family would panic. She cleared her face and put the most reassuring smile on her face as she rounded the corner.

The family stood and Tara walked towards them, converting her medical terms to ones the family could understand as she walked them through the surgery. As she walked them through it, the elevator pinged and out walked Jax Teller.

Tara froze, hoping that if she stayed still he wouldn't notice her sitting here. Jax spotted her, smirking at her face and walked towards the empty nurses' station and leaned against it, clearly waiting for her.

She sighed and refocused on her patient's family. She needed to get through this.

Tara was able to finish answering all their questions and explain the details of the surgery in detail without glancing at Jax once, despite the fact that it felt like he was burning holes in the side of her face. After she finished explaining the follow up treatment plan, Tara smiled at the parents once more and walked slowly towards Jax.

"Dr. Knowles, I presume?" Jax said with a smirk.

Tara chuckled and nodded, "You presume correct...Vice President Teller," she said, glancing at the patch on his cut.

Jax smiled blankly and looked at her a moment before asking, "So how long have you been back?"

"About a month," Tara said, looking down at her shoes as she avoided his gaze.

"Wow," Jax said in a quiet voice, "Were you ever going to let me know you were back in town?"

"Not if I could avoid it," Tara said sheepishly, smirking, "I wanted to avoid this awkward conversation."

Jax nodded in understanding and said, "So…"

"So," Tara responded, leaning against the nurses' station, "Congratulations are in order. A wife and baby."

As she watched Jax, she could see the walls...they were built up and sturdy. The Jax standing before her was guarded and wasn't letting anyone in...especially her. She saw just how far gone the boy she fell in love with and left behind was now...

Jax smiled and nodded, responding, "Thanks. Wendy and I are separated, but...thanks."

Tara nodded, not knowing how to respond. Oh God this was terribly awkward! Why had he come?

"You married?" he asked, his eyes on hers, "Any kids?"

Tara shook her head and said, "I...timing was never right. And I was so busy with residency and fellowships."

Jax nodded, smiling a triumphant smile that made Tara want to slap it off. Yes, I didn't move on and settle down like you...ass!

Tara looked down and wondered how she could leave without it being obvious she was fleeing the scene.

"I am glad," Jax whispered. Tara's surprised eyes jumped to his and he looked almost bashful about his admission. Tara smirked and asked, "Why?"

He just shrugged and Tara flushed in response as he smirked at her, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Well, I better-"

"Go?" he asked in a husky voice, "Yeah I thought you might."

Tara looked at him, wondering what he meant by that. Was he still sore over her leaving? Jesus, it had been ten years ago. And by now, he should understand why she left.

Tara decided to leave it...this was one subject she didn't want to start with him.

"You probably have club business to get back to," she replied, not knowing what else to say. She turned on her heel and began to walk away.

"Tara," Jax called out, walking towards her. Tara looked at him, her heart fluttering nervously.

Tara nervously backed up a step as he stopped in front of her. It didn't go unnoticed by Jax. A look shadowed his features, but he said, "I am...glad that you are back."

What? She nodded and smiled, before saying, "See you around." Jax smiled and she turned on her heel and walked away once more.

As she walked away, she felt his eyes on her the entire way.