"What do you want?"

"Well hello to you, too."

"I'm serious, Harry. Get away from me."

"Your mouth says one thing, yet your body says another."

"What the bloody hell are you talking about? I'm not even touching you."

"Really? Huh, I guess you aren't."

"Are you drunk, Harry?"

"Shhh, it's a SE-CRET."

"Well wobbling around spouting nonsense is not helping your cause. Come on Harry, let's sit down over there."

"You're such a good friend, Hermione."

"And that's all I'll ever be."

"Why do you always say that?"

"Well, for one, your girlfriend is literally watching us from twenty feet away."

"But I don't love her. I love you, Hermione."

"Stop telling me that. How do you manage to break my heart even when you're too inebriated to realize it?"

"I'm sorry, Hermione, I didn't mean to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you."

"Oh, Harry..."

"You know, I had it all planned out in my head. I'd declare my love for you, you'd return it, and we'd live happily ever after."

"...we don't live in a fantasy, Harry."

"But why can't it be a reality? I love you, Hermione Jean Granger. Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do, but that's not enough. Like I've told you a thousand times, it can never happen."

"Why nottttt?"

"Stop acting like a baby, Harry. And I'm not going to explain myself again only for it to be forgotten the next morning."

"I can't help it, Hermione. The alcohol takes away the pain and makes me feel all nice and fuzzy. You should try it too."

"Wait, Harry, do you drink...because of me?"

"Why else? I'm the bloody conqueror of Voldemort. I have everything I want in life except the one thing I want the most."

"...you know what - pass me that Firewhiskey."

"Atta girl! You're making the right decision, Hermione!"

"Somehow, I sincerely doubt that."

"Cheers!"

"...cheers."

xXxXx

"Harry! Harry, wake up!"

"Huhhh? What's wrong, Hermione?"

"Harry, what happened last night? And why are we in the same bed?!"

"I'm the last person to be asking that. I've got literally no recollection of last night. By the way, where'd you get that ring, Hermione?"

"WHAT?!"

"Hey, it looks awfully like the one I..."

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! You've got to be kidding me!"

"Is that a...veil over there?"

"This is not happening...this is all just a dream and I'll be waking up any second now."

"Calm down, Hermione. Is this really so bad?"

"Yes! Of course it is! You've got a girlfriend, Harry!"

"No, I've got a wife."

"Seriously? Are you really making a joke at a time like this?"

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"Help me figure out a way to deal with this whole mess. Come on, Harry, do you have any ideas whatsoever?"

"Ummm...Firewhiskey?"

This was a fun little drabble to write and a nice exercise in dialogue. Leave a comment if you have the time!