So, this is kind of my challenge to myself. I'm writing one fanfiction for each episode of Merlin. Some are one-shots, some are longer stories. I ran out of ideas for fanfictions so this is how I'm dealing with that. If anyone has any prompts for me, feel free to leave it in a review and if I write it after I finish writing these 65 stories, I'll dedicate it to you… so, thanks. And I give you Season 2 Episode 3.

Summary: When Morgana is searching for Gaius and confides in Merlin, Merlin doesn't know what to say to her. But eventually the guilt is too much. Merlin throws caution to the wind and shows her he has magic. Merlin/ Morgana.

Story 16: Not Alone

Chapter 1: Scared

"I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening. Please," Morgana pleaded. Merlin's heart broke as he listened to her.

He knew exactly how she felt.

For years Merlin had felt like a monster because of his powers. He feared what they could do. He was taught to hide them, never to let anyone know. He didn't feel safe in his own skin. Ironically, it wasn't until he moved to Camelot that he realized that his powers could be a force for good. It was all thanks to Gaius.

But despite that, despite how much it hurt him to do so, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. "Gaius will be back soon. He'll be able to help you," Merlin told her.

"He won't. I don't want any more remedies. They won't do any good," Morgana said. Her voice was borderline hysterical as if she were on the brink of tears. "It's magic, Merlin."

Hearing her say it to him out loud was a surreal experience. He hadn't expected her to be so blunt about it. Merlin wasn't sure if it were brave or foolish that Morgana was so willing to admit that she had magical powers. "What?" Merlin asked shocked.

"I'm your friend, you know I wouldn't make this up," Morgana told him. Merlin felt a stab of guilt at her words. She was right. She was his friend, yet he still denied her help.

"Of course," Merlin agreed. His mind was swirling. He would be taking a huge risk if he told Morgana, yet she had done it first. She had put herself in a vulnerable position, had put her trust in him. Why couldn't he tell her? And why shouldn't he? He was the only one that could help her. Gaius certainly wasn't willing to. Didn't that make it his responsibility?

"Then you believe me? You think it's magic too. Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it," Morgana begged. Merlin stared at her. He knew the words to say, knew exactly how to say them, but he couldn't. He couldn't help her.

"I really wish there was something I could say," Merlin told her quietly. What he didn't tell her was that he knew what that something was. He knew exactly what to say to her, but there was something holding him back, something stopping him. Merlin knew once he told her there would be no going back. He would never be able to un-tell her. He had to be absolutely certain that this was what he wanted to do before he told her anything. He would rather take caution then do something he would regret. And if he came to regret this, it might be when he's tied to the pyre. That's really a fate he would prefer to avoid.

It's not that he didn't trust her, because he truly did. But that didn't mean he was ready for her to know.

The look of betrayal that crossed Morgana's face hit him harder than anything had. She looked like he had just condemned her to a life of misery, and in a way, he had.

Morgana turned and walked out, closing the door behind her. Even though she was gone, Merlin could still see how much he had hurt her, he could still hear her angry, stomping footsteps as she stormed away. He groaned. This was a mess.

Merlin sat down at Gaius's workbench, staring at the grains in the wood as if they held the answer to his problems. Even when no solution presented itself, he still persisted in staring at the table.

When Gaius came back, Merlin moved to his bedroom. He didn't want to bother him and Gaius had made his opinion on the matter of Morgana's magic quite clear. Merlin lay down on his bed and tried to still his restlessness long enough to go asleep. After an hour or so of tossing and turning, he gave up. He let out a frustrated cry. Why couldn't he just turn his mind off?

He knew why. His guilt was preventing him from calming down. There would be no sleeping for him until he helped Morgana. If he couldn't tell her the truth, the least he could do was console her, do something to help her cheer up. He didn't need to tell her he had magic to admit that he believed she did.

Merlin made his way to Morgana's chambers. There were two guards stationed outside her door, but they were easily distracted. There would probably be hell to pay in the morning. Uther would have a fit once he found out they had heard a strange noise not far from Morgana's chambers. He already thought that someone was trying to kill his ward and this would do nothing to alleviate his suspicions. But it was worth it. Merlin slipped in her door, barely daring to breath.

He cautiously advanced and froze when he saw her. Her hair fanned out on the pillow in smooth, wavy lines. She looked too innocent, too perfect to be the same person that had been crying to him just two hours earlier. Yet he saw the proof in the redness that surrounded her eyes and in the slight frown to her mouth. Proof that even in sleep, someone can be sad and worried. Merlin watched as her eyelids fluttered, but she did not wake up. Nightmares, Merlin realized. She was having a nightmare.

Merlin whispered her name softly. She stirred slightly but did not wake. "Morgana," Merlin whispered slightly louder.

Morgana sat up straight in her bed, her eyes flashing gold. Merlin acted on instinct. "Gar-Dena gebad he organ," he muttered. It was strange, to see the water pitcher explode into pieces and not make a sound. Strange but relieving. The guards would have no reason to check on Morgana. "Morgana?" Merlin asked her concerned.

She was staring at the water pitcher as if it were going to attack her. "I don't know how that happened. It wasn't me," she said in a rush. "Ignore what I said before. I had a nightmare, I was just upset."

"I don't blame you for being upset," Merlin told her slowly. He took a step towards her bed, not wanting to frighten her. "I haven't said anything to anyone. And I wouldn't." Merlin hoped she would believe him. He would take her secret to the grave with him if he had to.

"I'm sorry," Morgana said. She wiped her eyes, relieving them of any stray tears. She looked slightly embarrassed to be seen in her current state. "It's usually Gwen that has to deal with me when I'm like this."

"I don't mind," Merlin told her. And he didn't. He knew if their situations were reversed she would do the same for him. "Maybe I could help." Merlin took a deep breath. He was going to tell her. He could feel it with certainty. It was time for her to know the truth.