Sorry
~fluid-time

This fic was written and takes place after 9.22 Stairway to Heaven.

Gadreel woke to the soft touch of a damp washcloth pressed against his skin. It stung, hurt a terrible amount, but the delicate strokes were soothing and comforting nonetheless. He tried to relax into the gentle movements, but the slow burn was too much and his eyes flicked open as his body reflexively flinched away from the contact.

"I'm sorry."

He looked up, surprised to find Sam sitting on the edge of the bed he lay on, the small towel clutched in his hands, a crease in his brow.

"Cass can't heal this," Sam continued, gesturing to the long gash against his chest. "It might be because of his dilapidating stolen grace, but I think it's because this was made with the First Blade, and none of us really understand its power."

Gadreel closed his eyes for a moment, trying to heal himself, but his attempt to knit his skin together fizzled out as if meeting an invisible blockade.

"You must be right, because I can not fix this," he told Sam, who nodded and returned the cloth to his chest, eliciting another cringe from him.

"I'm sorry. This has some alcohol on it to disinfect the wound. I'm sure it doesn't feel pleasant, but I'd rather not take the chance of you dying of some dumb reason."

"It is fine, Sam." A pause. "I am the one who should be apologizing."

"Siding with Metatron? Don't worry about it." He sighed. "Like you said, we all make mistakes and you were only trying to do what's right at the time. I think we can all understand that."

"No," Gadreel reached out and grasped Sam's wrist, stopping his ministrations for the moment and causing the young hunter to meet his gaze, "to you. I apologize for taking possession of your vessel. I thought-" he stopped speaking for a moment, looking down to shake his head before facing Sam once more.

"I thought that I was doing it for your benefit as well as mine, but I could not see my own selfishness. Angels… we're never taught to think for ourselves, to critically examine situations, but working for Metatron has made me reconsider my previous decisions and actions, including you. I should never have tricked you like that, and if I could take it back I would."

Sam inhaled and bit his lip, freeing his wrist and continuing to clean Gadreel's wound, if only to have something to fill the silence. He thought. Gadreel was quiet, eventually closing his eyes, focusing, in an attempt to calm his twitching muscles and accepting Sam's care.

Minutes passed by before either spoke.

"I don't know what to say."

And Gadreel opened his eyes, attempting to give Sam his full attention, nodding in a gesture for him to continue.

"My first instinct is to tell you that it's fine or that it's okay, but it's not. I feel violated and betrayed in a way that I never imagined experiencing. I can live with you and I can work with you, but I don't know if I can actually forgive you."

Gadreel nodded. "I understand."

There were a couple more minutes of silence before Sam set the washcloth down and grabbed the long bandage and medical tape that was resting on the bedside table.

"I need you to sit up for this," and Gadreel tried to keep his face as straight as possible as he leaned his torso forward, allowing Sam's large arms to tightly wind the dressing around his chest. The constant pressure relieved some of the pain. He took a breath as Sam finished, and leaned back against the soft pillows piled behind him.

"Thank you."

Sam gave him a half-smile. "You're welcome."

Standing and gathering the supplies, he turned and walked from the room, leaving Gadreel to rest. He paused while in the doorframe, turning around to face the weakened angel who had tilted his head, wondering why he stopped.

"Thank you for apologizing."

"You should not thank me for attempting to right what should never have been done."

"Maybe," Sam smiled, "but it still means something to me." He walked away, shutting the door behind him with a gentle click.

This work was inspired by Waterbird13's post on tumblr about wanting Sam to get a legitimate apology from Gadreel about his possession when he first showed up to the bunker in 9.22 Stairway to Heaven.

The End.