Title: Fears Resolved

Chapter 12: Epilogue

Rating: T for language and sexual content

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS LA or the characters.

Summary: It is time for the last chapter in a story about the fears and issues Kensi and Deeks had to work through to be together. This chapter begins about 2 weeks after chapter 11 ends. The inspiration for what's in the box came from an interview Renee Felice Smith did and what she said when she was asked what she thought was in the box.

Epilogue

"Whatcha doing out here so early?" Deeks asks shuffling into the kitchen after having been woken by a bacon scent laced with a hint of char.

"Making you breakfast for your birthday. Now go back to bed," Kensi orders. She doesn't look up from what she is doing for fear she will burn something else.

"Why?" Deeks questions her insistence he return to bed as he comes over and plants a kiss on her cheek.

"Because I like the tradition you started," she replies reminding him that he brought her breakfast in bed on her birthday.

He doesn't need to be told twice to get an extra 20 minutes of sleep, so he gives her one more kiss and returns to the bedroom.

As they are finishing breakfast a little while later, Kensi disappears from their bedroom for a moment and returns with a wrapped box.

"What's this?" Deeks asks as she passes it to him.

"Just open it," she replies mysteriously.

He knows from her tight smile and the mischievous gleam in her eyes that it's not any box, it's The Box.

"So we're really opening this?" he asks as he tears off the paper to reveal the plain brown box.

"It's your box," she replies flippantly, leaving it up to him.

He easily pops off the scotch tape and opens the flaps. Inside the box, he finds another box, but this time he knows what's inside the final box, or what's supposed to be in the final box. He inhales deeply, taking in the enormity of what this means. His eyes rise to meet hers. "So, you're ready?" he asks breaking into a nervous grin.

"I'm ready," she affirms smiling back.

"Is there a…?" he starts. "Do you want me to do it now?" he asks. He's wanted this for months, but having the moment thrust upon him has rattled him a bit.

Kensi opens the box to show him it is empty and that she's left the ring and the proposal up to him. The fact that he has time to prepare for this monumental moment in their lives eases his momentary fear.

"What do you want me to put in it?" he asks as his hand finds hers.

"You know what I like," she replies. They've been to enough jewelry stores together working cases that she's confident he'll pick out the perfect ring for her.

"I do," he agrees as he pulls her to him to kiss her.

He agonized for a week about where and how to propose. He's still not sure it's perfect, but he hopes she'll love it. Now he just needs to wait for Kensi and Nell to return from a conference in San Diego.

"Uggg," Kensi sighs reading a text message from Deeks. "Deeks is still at work. Can you drop me off at the mission?" she asks Nell.

"Sure," Nell replies using every ounce of willpower to act normal. She's in on the plan and it's been killing her spending the day with Kensi and knowing what's going to happen tonight.

"Deeks?" Kensi calls as she walks into the mission. She immediately feels that something is off. It's too quiet and too dark even for this time of night. He doesn't answer so she continues further in toward their desks with a hand on her weapon. Her mouth falls open as she discovers the mission bathed in candlelight. The second floor is lined with the luminaries. They also cover the desks, the steps to Hetty's office, and form a heart on the floor where Deeks is waiting for her wearing a suit; the suit he was wearing when he sent her the selfie in Afghanistan. Suddenly she is glad she dressed up for the conference today. She is surprised that tears are already forming as Deeks reaches for her hand to help her step over candles into the heart filled with rose petals.

"Hi Sunshine," he greets her as he hits a button on a remote control that starts playing "My Girl" by The Temptations, then slips the remote in his pocket.

"Hi," she can barely reply. His hands are ice cold and shaking, so she takes his other hand in hers too.

"There are so many things I want to say, but the most important is that I love you," Deeks begins.

"I love you too," she replies.

"I chose to do this here because this is where I first knew we had feelings for each other that went beyond partners or friends. This is where 'our thing' started. I thought about waiting until April, our five year anniversary as partners, to do this. I figured I would have some line about you being so special that I halved the 10 year partnership requirement for marriage, but I couldn't wait that long."

Kensi is really glad he didn't wait another three months. They've waited long enough to be together. She rubs her thumbs over the back of his hands as he continues. "We were partners first and then friends. As we built respect and then trust, our friendship grew into love. I know the love we share is going to last. First, because we are such great partners and friends, but also because there is this spark, 'our thing,' that has turned into this incredible, amazing love that I don't even have words for."

As he looks into her watery eyes, he gets down on one knee and lets go of one of her hands to retrieve a box from his pocket. "Kensi Marie Blye will you be my partner in life and do me the honor of marrying me?"

He opens the box and the tears that start running down her cheeks and her whispered, "yes" cause him to get emotional too. She pulls him into a hug as he stands.

"I love you," she shares before their lips meet.

"I love you," he returns the sentiment as his hand caresses her back. "Sorry I rambled. I had it all planned out in my head and I lost it as soon as I saw you."

"It was amazing," she assures him she has no problem with his rambling this time as she brings his lips to hers again.

"Do you want to put it on?" he asks bringing the ring between them.

Even as he slips the ring on her finger, she still can't believe this is happening for her, for them. With her job and her past, she didn't think marriage was in the cards for her. She certainly wasn't sure that she and Deeks would get their happy ending.

"It's beautiful! It's all beautiful!" she compliments taking in the intricacies of the ring and the lovely scene Deeks set as she wraps her arms around him again.

"You've never really talked about it…any ideas for what you want for the wedding?" Deeks asks as they sit on the couch enjoying the romantic ambiance. Her legs are across his lap and they are holding hands.

She takes a quiet moment to ponder that question before answering, "All I need is me and you." Before Deeks can comment about how sweet that is she adds, "And cake. We need an incredible, delicious cake."

"Sounds about right," Deeks says laughing as he caresses her thigh. "So, want to grab a drink to celebrate? Everyone is out, but I'd be good celebrating just the two of us too, so it's up to you."

"Let's go for one." Kensi is excited to share their exciting news, but doesn't want to make it too late of a night. She definitely plans on celebrating just the two of them when they get home. "Do they all know already?" she inquires.

Deeks nods.

"Eric and Nell I get." Kensi knows Eric helped with the set up and Nell's job was to get her to the mission no matter what. "But, why do Callen and Sam know?" she wonders.

Deeks looks away a little embarrassed.

"Were you afraid of what they'd do if you didn't give them a heads up?" she teases.

"They're like brothers," he mumbles not looking at her.

She brings her hand to his cheek and turns his face back toward her. "I love you so much," she tells him giggling. She is bubbling with the feelings of all encompassing love, happiness and excitement brought on by this night.

"They are the only 4 people who know. I figured you would want to tell your mom and grandma."

"You figured right," says softly as she guides him closer for a kiss.

"And I wasn't telling Hetty by myself," he teases resting his forehead against hers.

"Ok," she agrees to doing that together with a smile figuring Hetty probably knows anyway. She gives him one more soft kiss before maneuvering to get up. "Let's go celebrate with the family," she encourages tugging him off the couch.

The group at the bar knows from the wide grins on Kensi and Deeks's faces that she said yes. Not that they had any doubts about what her answer would be. As she flashes the ring, Nell squeals with excitement and gets up to hug her.

Michelle lets out a shout as she slips off her stool next to Sam to congratulate the happy couple. Once the initial excitement dies down a bit and they start asking about the details of the proposal, Michelle realizes that the others already knew Deeks was proposing. She slaps Sam on the shoulder and demands, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"If I would have told you, you would have been disappointed that you didn't find out from Kensi and Deeks," Sam responds. "You know it's true," he coaxes as he wraps an arm around her.

Callen goes off to buy a round of drinks as the women start sketching cakes and dresses on napkins and the guys start talking bachelor party.

They are married on Monday, April 6th, the 5th anniversary of the day they met. The wedding takes place on the beach and is officiated by a justice of the peace. The bride walks halfway down the beach to the spot of the ceremony on her own, but then the groom comes and meets her halfway to symbolize a marriage where they will meet in the middle and take on all things in life together. Kensi wears a simple yet elegant ivory, satin dress with a short train and embellishment at the waist. Deeks wears a grey suit. Family and friends stand for the short sunset ceremony. After an epic party the following Saturday they venture on a two week honeymoon that begins in Italy and has stops in Spain and Portugal. Before they come home Deeks makes Kensi promise they can go to Norway for their 1st anniversary.

4 months later

"Shit, how did they find out?" Deeks wonders aloud as he jumps out of the car and starts to gear up to get Kensi out of an undercover op.

"They played us," Sam is equally flabbergasted and angry.

"She hasn't said the distress word yet," Callen reminds them to keep cool heads.

"Who are you?" they hear over the comm before a resounding smack.

"You know who I am," Kensi says strongly though on the inside she is panicking.

"Is she trying Jedi mind tricks?" Sam asks Deeks trying to ease everyone's nerves.

"I taught her that," Deeks gives a weak, proud smile trying not to let the gnawing worry eat away at his stomach.

"Just because your asshole of a boss is a chickenshit who wants to abort a mission just because he has a hunch the cops are onto him doesn't mean that you have to think the sun shines from his ass and do everything he says. You know I'm legit. Let's finish this," Kensi tries to keep the lower level guys in the organization on her side. She knows they respect her skills and also think she's hot.

"Hold her," the boss instructs his minions as he comes over and punches Kensi hard in the stomach for her disrespect. She's glad she said the distress word. These guys are scared and people do stupid, dangerous things when they are scared.

"She said the distress word. Let's go," Deeks demands breaking into a run.

After landing a few punches the boss gets close and searches Kensi. He finds her comm..

"So you do work for the police don't you, you little slut?" He puts his hand on her thigh as he presses against her. "I bet you have a cop boyfriend. We'll see if he wants to touch you again," he threatens as he brings his hand further up her leg.

Kensi is trying to block out what is happening and for some reason her thoughts go to the fact that she wore nylons today and she almost didn't. She certainly is glad she did now. Gunshots ring out in the distance and Kensi gets the opportunity to bring her knee up and catch her attacker in the crotch.

"Incapacitate her!" he howls.

As her airway is compressed and the world is about to turn black, Kensi's second last thought is that she wants to have children with her husband and she wants to see them grow up. Her final thought is that Deeks is coming.

Callen races through the warehouse with Deeks and Sam close behind. He sees a light coming from an office and charges full-on at the door sending it crashing in. The boss pulls Kensi off the floor using her as a shield.

"Drop your weapons!" Callen demands.

"You shoot, she dies," the boss warns.

Deeks notices Kensi's fingers moving and realizes she's not unconscious. She's even trying to communicate to him that they should go on her count. She peers out from under her eyelids and he gives her the slightest nod. She sticks out one finger, then a second, and a third before she brings her head back hard to connect with her captor's chin causing him to let her go. She dives to the floor as Callen, Sam and Deeks each take out a bad guy.

Deeks is next to her as she pushes herself to a sitting position.

"You okay?" he asks placing a hand on her shoulder.

She leans into him, a telltale sign that she is not okay.

"He touched me," Kensi whispers. She closes her eyes as a wave of nausea hits. She's not quite sure if the nausea is caused by the thought of him touching her, or the fact that she was without air long enough to pass out.

"I heard," he says matter-of-factly, referring to what he heard over the comm link. "I'm not sorry I killed the bastard," he adds as he rubs her back.

"It could have been much worse," she reasons out loud. Her body isn't listening to reason and she is shaking uncontrollably. She's feeling weak and vulnerable and she doesn't like it.

"It was still a violation," Deeks gives validation to her feelings as he wraps his arms protectively around her. He wishes he had a sweatshirt or a blanket, but it's the middle of summer in L. A. so he has neither to wrap her in.

After a minute in her husband's arms, Kensi gets to her feet. She is a bit dizzy and stumbles through the doorway. Deeks is right behind her and before she knows what's happening she has been swept off her feet and into his arms.

"What are you doing?" she demands.

"Taking you to the ambulance that's waiting,"

"No," she insists pushing against his chest. "Put me down!"

"Sorry Sugarbear," he apologizes planning to stand his ground since she is obviously not physically okay.

"Marty," she pleads. The way she says his name melts his resolve. He can see she is struggling to keep her emotions in check, and him not letting her be in control is going to make her lose it.

"Okay," he relents as he gently returns her to her feet, but keeps an arm around her. "Promise me you'll take it easy though."

She nods. When they return to the mission she makes good on her promise and plants herself on the couch as they figure out where to take the case from here.

After assignments are doled out, Deeks comes back to the bullpen with a box of case files. Kensi starts to get off the couch to help him sort through them.

"Ah you promised," he reminds her before she can even stand.

"Then bring them over here," she requests.

"Can't you just rest and watch a Telenovela or something?" Deeks asks exasperated by her stubbornness. He knows when she is on her deathbed and misses work she watches them to keep up her language skills. He also knows she secretly loves the steamy drama.

"I may have plenty of time to watch them in the future," she says as she makes room for him on the couch. He gives her a questioning look regarding her last comment. "Before I blacked out, one of my last thoughts was I want to have children with you and I want to watch them grow up. I'm not saying I want to stop being an agent tomorrow, but Hetty was right, I do want more," she explains.

"Wow!" Deeks exhales taking in what she is saying. The idea of having children excites and terrifies him at the same time. They have joked about having kids since almost before they had a 'thing.' And they've talked about it during their relationship in a maybe someday kind of way, but now that she is bringing it up for real; it is a little mindboggling. He is also speechless because he has a hard time picturing Kensi being anything other than an agent. His gut is telling him to be cautious about what he says because she might feel differently once she has a little space from today.

"What are you thinking?" Kensi asks to be let in on his thought process about this. She's a little nervous that all she got was a 'wow!'

"I think there's a lot to consider, so I feel like we should take our time. If you want more, I am onboard with that."

"So, you're still open to having kids?" Kensi clarifies.

"Definitely," he replies resting a hand on her thigh. "I'll be honest; now that we're talking about this for real I'm a little freaked out about being a dad. I didn't exactly have the best example."

Kensi leans over, places a hand on his arm, and kisses his cheek. "You're going to be a great dad, but we can take some time to figure this all out first. Like I said, I wasn't planning on turning my resignation in tomorrow," she assures him.

"I want to give you everything." Deeks wants her to know how much he wants this even if it scares him. He places a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I know you do." She caresses his cheek tenderly.

"Mr. and Mrs. Deeks, last time I checked this is not your home." Hetty's scolding causes them to jump apart.

"Sorry," Kensi apologizes.

"Sorry Hetty," Deeks adds one of his own.

"This case isn't going anywhere. Why don't you two go on home and get some rest. It sounds as if you may have some important matters to discuss."

"We're just starting to…" Kensi starts to explain.

"We're only thinking…" Deeks begins at the same time.

"Ah ah," Hetty says holding up a hand to stop them from going on. "You only need to tell me if there is something that is going to affect this case. Otherwise, goodnight," she dismisses them.

"Goodnight," they both reply as Deeks helps Kensi off the couch.

5 months later

Kensi is sleepless for a third night in a row. She looks over at her husband. His nose is twitching so she knows he is content. As a matter of fact, so is she. They just celebrated their first Christmas as husband and wife and she couldn't be happier being married to her best friend. Also, work has been relatively quiet for the last few weeks, so that's not what's keeping her up either. The only thing on her mind is what she and Deeks may or may not have done about a month ago. She rests her hand over her stomach for the thousandth time in the last week wondering if it could really be. She bought the test today, but thought maybe she'd wait a few more days to take it and to tell Deeks about her suspicions. His birthday is only a few days away, but as she turns over she decides waiting is a stupid idea. She's going to go crazy not knowing, and it might not be a nice birthday for Deeks if she waits until then to spring this on him. She slips out of bed and makes her way to the bathroom to use the pregnancy test.

The test confirms what she already knew deep down. Now that she knows for sure, amazement and excitement fill her. She floats back into the bedroom and kisses her husband awake saying his name softly in between kisses.

"Hmmm?" he asks sleepily. He wraps his arms around her holding her close.

"Early birthday present for you," she whispers in his ear. This statement quickly brings him out of his slumber.

"Oh really?" he teases suggestively tickling her.

"Not that!" she laughs and kisses him on the chin. "I have a box for you," she tells him as she brings it into view.

He sits up, and it takes him a minute to process what she places in his hands. "Whoa!" he breathes. "You think?"

"I know," she confirms placing her hands over his.

"What? How? When?" The detective in him comes out as he tries to make sense of how this happened.

"Remember about a month ago we worked that case where we barely slept for the three days we were hunting down that terrorist cell? You came home to get us fresh clothes, but I forgot to tell you to grab my birth control. Then, when it was over…"

"We had 'thank god we have each other in this crazy world' sex," Deeks finishes her sentence as a smile forms at the memory and the realization of what that memory created.

"Are you good?" she asks.

"God yes!" he exclaims as he brings his hands up to frame her face and leans in to place a kiss on her lips. "We made a baby ninja assassin," he whispers moving his hands to her sides as his eyes well up.

"I know," she mirrors his awe and excitement. "It's just we didn't plan for this to happen now."

"Technically we did. If I remember correctly, there was a conversation about missed birth control and we each said something like we're married and it probably won't happen anyway."

"Not our most responsible moment," Kensi comments shaking her head.

"You good?" Deeks asks. She seems excited, but a bit tense at the same time.

"Yes, I'll probably completely freak out in a couple days when it fully sets in that we're bringing a life into this crazy world that we are completely responsible for even though we still are trying to figure out our own way in it. Right now though I am completely amazed by the fact that our love created something so miraculous," she confides as her hands cover her stomach protectively. "I am so in love with you," she adds as she leans in to share a kiss.

"So you're really trying to make up for that forgotten birthday huh?" Deeks teases caressing her cheek before kissing her again.

"Um hum," she agrees climbing on top of him as she gently pushes him back in the bed.

Deeks rolls them over so she is on her back. "I love you," he declares placing a kiss on her lips. He moves down her body and after placing a kiss on her stomach he adds, "and I love you."

Their passion and love for each other have never had more fervor, but Kensi doesn't miss that Deeks has never been gentler when making love with her.

A little over three years later

Kensi lets go of her very independent two and a half year old's hand so the little girl can run to her daddy. Even though he has a few bumps and bruises, he lets his little girl run at him full force. He scoops her up and holds her tight kissing her blond curls. Deeks shifts Michaela to one arm and holds out his other for Kensi who is holding their infant daughter Kylie. As her husband pulls her close, she lets out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding for the past 23 days. While she was mildly worried the whole time he was undercover, it was really just the last 4 days that had left her without the ability to breathe. The moment Nell told her they'd lost contact with him was one of the worst moments of her life.

He kisses Kensi's hair and inhales her scent. God he missed them. While the undercover work had it's moments of danger and reward, he missed his wife and girls terribly. The thought of not being able to come back to them had scared him enough to consider making this his last undercover op. His wet t-shirt due to the tears of a wife who he's pretty sure hasn't cried since the birth of their second daughter, and the little girl's fist hitting his shoulder as she commands, "No go daddy! No go," are more than enough reason for him to declare, "I'm done."

"Good, because I can't do that again," Kensi admits. Deeks dries her tears then leaves his hand on her cheek as he kisses her.

His shoulder is still taking a beating from Michaela who doesn't understand that daddy isn't leaving again. As Deeks pulls back from the kiss, he gives Kensi a 'this child is all you' look.

Kensi takes hold of the little fist. "We don't hit daddy. Use your words."

"I sorry daddy. I miss you. You come home," Michaela says as her little arms squeeze around Deeks's neck.

"I missed you too baby girl. I'm coming home," he assures her.

"Kylie miss you," Michaela informs her daddy as she looks down at her little sister in her mommy's arms.

Deeks turns to the sleeping infant in Kensi's arms. He bends down to give her a kiss on the forehead.

"Her hair is coming in darker," he comments letting go of Kensi for a minute to touch the baby's soft skin on her chubby arm. The baby had just lost the little bit of light hair she had right before he went undercover. He's excited that she is looking more and more like Kensi.

That night Deeks helps as much as he can with the nightly routines. He missed this part of the day the most. He feeds Kylie rice cereal, which apparently she eats now. It makes him sick that he missed the first time. He bathes Michaela, puts on her pajamas, and reads to her and rubs her back until she falls asleep. He changes Kylie's diaper before handing her over to Kensi to nurse.

"Not that I don't appreciate it, but you don't have to do everything," Kensi says sweetly as she cuddles the infant to her. She knows he must be exhausted and in at least some pain.

"I want to." He gives the reply Kensi was expecting as he helps adjust a pillow under Kylie to make it more comfortable for her to nurse. He sits on the floor next to the rocker and rests his head against her leg not ready to be away from them yet, even in the next room. Once the baby has latched onto her breast, she runs the fingers of her free hand through Deeks's hair.

Kylie falls asleep while nursing like she does most nights. After waiting a few minutes to make sure she is in a sound sleep Kensi whispers her husband's name. Deeks pushes himself to his knees. "Watch her nose," she says quietly with a smile. Sure enough, her little nose is twitching. They exchange a loving look before turning their attention back to their baby. Deeks kisses her head as Kensi gets up to put her in her crib. While Kensi puts their daughter down for the night, Deeks climbs into the rocking chair. The past 23 days finally catching up with him, he closes his eyes.

"My turn," Kensi says softly as she slides onto his lap. Her head finds its spot on his shoulder as his arms automatically come around her.

"You okay?" Deeks asks. He'd already told her about his whole experience, but they haven't had time to talk about what the last three and a half weeks were like for her.

"Four days," is all she replies as her fingers play with the collar of his t-shirt.

"I know. I'm sorry. That's why I'm done," he reassures her as his hand sneaks under the hem of her t-shirt. She knew she was done with field work the moment she heard Michaela's heartbeat. She is still at The Office of Special Projects in a kind of auxiliary position. She does some forensics and crime scene work. She'll interrogate suspects and question witnesses when needed. She also teaches some of the beginner agent courses.

"What do you want to do?" she asks.

"I don't know. I could go back into law. I could go full time at LAPD, but no undercover work. I could become a full fledged agent and transfer out of special projects. Lots of options "

"Um hum," she agrees sleepily.

"Have you been sleeping on the couch?" he inquires remembering the pillow and blanket he saw there earlier. He is partly concerned and partly amused.

He knows he's right when she doesn't reply.

"Common, let's go to bed or we're going to be sleeping here." He gives her butt a light tap as encouragement to get up. "Hey we could write a bestselling relationship book and both retire. We could title it From the Couch to the Rocking Chair."

"Who's going to read it?" she asks laughing as they make their way down the hall to their bedroom.

"People more screwed up than us," he replies.

"I think we're doing pretty well," she comments turning back toward him resting her hands on his chest. She tilts her head up so their eyes meet.

"Me too," he agrees as his lips descend on hers.

Thank you to everyone that has read, followed, favorited, and reviewed this story. I have had so much fun writing it.