Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

I promise this is my last attempt on humour (except for Solid Silver Series), oh God I need to start writing angst again or I might explode.

Edited by faded. brilliance. Thanks for the editing, mate! :D

Warning: Alternate Universe, OOCness, Male Pregnancy, and reference to 'How I Met Your Mother' (Yes, seriously, yes, HIMYM inspired this oneshot).

Enjoy your reading. :)

"I'm panicking."

"What?"

Draco's and Ron's eyes widened – larger than how they were supposed to be. In another time and place, Tom would have spared the thought on how is that even physically possible – and Tom scrunched his eyebrows, as if he was in pain.

"I'm panicking." He repeated, this time sounding more stressful. From the way Tom was slouching on the couch leather seat, his elbows on his knees and his forehead leaned against his hands tightly drawn into fists, there was no doubt that he was undeniably stressed out. And a stressed out Tom is not a good thing. Draco and Ron felt the blood drain from their faces.

"Riddle, what the hell?!"

"You don't do panicking, Potter does the panicking, so don't start panicking!" Their voices were loud in the large groom suite and Tom had to suppress himself from the urge to roll his eyes at them. Right now, every fibre in his body was screaming out and he couldn't stop himself from further wading into the impending panic attack. He tried the usual breathing exercises his fiancé had taught him – "Take a deep breath, Tom, yes, inhaleeee, exhaleee…" – and he swore his heart could have leapt out of his throat if his dignity didn't forcibly kept it in.

His best man had yet to arrive, probably handling some work before coming to aid Tom in his full-fledged panicked state, leaving the other two men, who were already dressed in their best outfits to try and comfort Tom.

But no, Tom's conscience screamed, there was no other way out from this bloody wedding expect for him leaving this place right now, book a flight ticket to another country and never come back!

"Tom, the wedding is in two more hours, you don't get to panic now, we gave you six months to panic about this, and so God please give me patience and strength because I would kill you by my own bare hands if you are planning to leave Harry at the altar!"

Tom wanted to retort that he was the one who was going to wait at the altar, and Harry was going down the aisle. Nobody was really surprised when Tom won the coin toss for the arrangement, beating his fiancé down with a self-satisfied smirk oozing out from his face.

But right now he couldn't really focus on anything else other than the fact that his bachelor years were finally coming to its end, and he was going to marry – him, Tom Marvolo Riddle, who didn't believe in marriage! – his boyfriend for four years, have that clean cut, wholesome apple pie life with a house, white fences, two puppies and a happily ever after and-

"I need to get out of here." Tom's blue eyes were wide as he looked up at the two men standing in front of him. Draco was pale and he was holding onto the keys and the card to the groom suite, as if he knew Tom was going to take those, while Ron looked like he was about to commit murder.

Before they could even say anything about his sudden decision to run away, Tom got onto his feet and jabbed at Draco's jaw with a fist, causing the blond to fall against the tall redhead and both of them crash landed onto the floor. The impact loosened his grip on the keys to Tom's escape. Without wasting any time, Tom wrenched the keys from Draco's hand -who was lying on the floor in a daze, effectively pinning Ron underneath his body- and ran towards the door. He could hear Ron shouting at him but he managed to put some distance between them when Ron finally managed to get to the door and wrenched it open. A long, loud, expletive-ridden diatribe can be heard echoing along the corridor outside of the groom suite.

Tom was already in his wedding attire, a black and white suit with a matching dark grey necktie, and a pair of expensive shoes. He had been planning this moment since the first time he met Harry at a bar, him marrying Harry in his best suit and looking sleek and confident. But this never crossed his mind, of him getting cold feet less than two hours before their marriage ceremony.

Tom ran down the stairs instead of taking the lift, worried that he might stumble into anyone he knew, and cursing himself for choosing a hotel that was too far from the airport.

"What the hell am I doing, Hermione? I mean, look at me!" Harry said in an almost-scream as he ran his fingers through his hair again, causing the already messy black hair to turn messier. Hermione watched the groom pace in his suite, mumbling about how things were going to turn out horrible like how his life has always been, and how he was going to have a panic attack again in about a few more minutes.

"Harry," Hermoine took his attention away from his pacing as one of his best friends sighed heavily, "It's just Tom, all right? You've been with him for more than five years, and that man is in love with you. Probably more than you could have ever loved yourself."

Harry stopped in his movement, green eyes aided with contact lenses widened at the words. He turned to look at Hermione, his eyes looking restless and his fingers nervously twiddling.

"But what if… what if suddenly he decides that this," he motioned to himself and Hermoine suppressed the urge to roll her eyes, "Won't be nice anymore?"

The young woman was about to open her mouth and speak when the door suddenly slammed open.

Both of them abruptly turned to look at Draco, who was panting heavily, his eyes wild as he scanned the room.

"Umm… Draco? What happened to your jaw?" Harry slowly and carefully asked, as if he was afraid that the blond would suddenly jump and attack him. His jaw was swollen and looked like it will turn out to be a hell of a bruise. Draco only shook his head and gave them a large grin – an obviously plastic one, because Draco Malfoy doesn't do grinning – while a hand ran through his unruly hair.

"Nothing, I fell down the stairs and yeah, I'm looking for something but I don't think it's here, shit I got to go!"

Then the door to Harry's room was slammed shut by the blond, and both Harry and Hermione turned to look at each other.

"Well…" Harry started again, unsure how to feel with the whole situation, now that Draco just awkwardly interrupted them, "Can I continue with my cold feet nervous pacing, please?"

"Damn, damn, damn!" Tom cursed angrily as he tried to start his car in the underground parking lot. The black convertible wouldn't start and Tom's mind was screaming that his car was sabotaged. But by who?!

And suddenly there was a knock on his window.

Tom would have jumped out of his seat out of surprise if he weren't Tom Marvolo Riddle. He turned to look at the window, where Cedric was standing with a frown on his face. The blond was his best man, chosen by Harry – "Because you don't have that many friends, Tom, and I've always wondered why. Cedric is like the only one of my friends that you can handle." "Yes, only because he knows when to shut up. Others are just too stupid to know when they should." "… And now I know why." – And Tom felt unfairly accused by the frown directed at him.

Tom lowered the window a bit so that the blond can talk to him and hear him clearly. He was definitely not going to leave the safety of his car.

"Where are you going?" the blond asked, a smile slowly forming on his face but his brown eyes were shrewd, gauging Tom and his actions.

"I was… going to go out and buy something." Tom answered almost meekly, and he watched with dread as Cedric's smile widened, obscuring his eyes.

"Why didn't you say so?"

The blond casually walked over to the passenger door, opened it, and entered the car beside Tom. Tom watched him with wide, unbelieving eyes as Cedric put on his seatbelt and then turned to look back at him with the eerie smile still on his face.

"We should go now, wouldn't want your future husband to wait at the altar later, do we?"

Those words of screaming mockery were so deep it burned into Tom's non-existing heart.

"But the car won't start." Tom replied back, almost weakly and Cedric tilted his head at the key hanging in the ignition.

"Well, try again. If that thing is too important, we can go by my car." He offered and Tom turned to start the engine again. Magically, this time the – traitorous! – car came to life, and Tom was left to stare in front. He was stuck between the option of either killing the blond beside him or just killing himself, and Tom slowly felt the panic coming into full mode again.

However, before Tom managed to strangle himself out of cold feet, his eyes caught the sight of one fuming Ron Weasley coming out from the nearest lift to the parking lot.

He quickly shifted his gear into drive mode and drove his car out from the place, as fast as possible.

Cedric looked strangely unaffected by his driving skill, but he did turn to give Tom a raised eyebrow.

Tom wanted to crash into the nearest wall so much and kill both of them in the car.

But the thought of Weasley finding his dead body and mutilating it beyond recognition was much scarier than that. So he drove away from the hotel and tried to find the furthest shop available to buy himself some… thing.

"I need to see Tom," Harry raved as he ran his hands over his hair and grabbed at them tightly, "I need to see him and ask him again whether this wedding is a good decision to make."

"But it is a bad thing to see your groom before the wedding." Luna quipped dreamily at his idea.

This time, instead of just Hermione; Luna and Neville have joined the young woman watching their friend pacing in the room. Hermoine was so close to hitting Harry on his own wedding day but the thought of having Harry with a black eye walking down the aisle, was not a nice thought.

"Harry, I think you need to sit down. Don't you feel tired pacing around nonstop?" Luna's dreamy voice interrupted Harry again and surprisingly, he did stop and turned to look at them with an exhausted face.

"Yes, I am."

Hermione sighed and quickly approached him to sit him down on his bed.

"Sit here, all right, and take a long, deep breath." Hermione chided him gently and Harry closed his eyes, sighing heavily before he started doing as he was told. Hermione turned to glare at Neville, who had been fidgeting in his seat ever since the moment Hermione called him into the room.

The tall man then awkwardly called out to his friend.

"Would you like a cup of warm chocolate, Harry? To calm you down, at least?"

Harry nodded his head, eyes closed while Hermione tried to fix his hair again.

"Spiked, please."

Hermione fixed another glare at Neville. Neville was torn in between the Maid of Honour and the groom, but he was quick to get on his feet and approached the door.

"Err… okay, I'll just… go now."

He closed the door with a sharp click and then Hermione turned back to look at her best friend. Harry looked like his puppy just got kicked, large green eyes glassed over with tears and his lower lip trembling. Hermione inwardly wished that there was a greater power up there that will grant her something stronger instead of just patience, to keep her from exploding in frustration.

"Okay, Harry, you need to calm down now or I'll swear to God I'll bruise you on your wedding day, purposely."

The drive to the farthest supply store available, was awkward and filled with uneasy silence.

Tom clutched the steering wheel tightly in his hands, and Cedric was looking at him from time to time. He tapped his fingers against his clothed knee, causing Tom to lose his concentration once in a few minutes, his face looked emotionless but only God knew how much his eyes looked like a feral animal trapped in a small cage.

"So… what was it that was so important that you needed?" Cedric asked out of the blue, brown eyes nonchalant but his posture was a bit stiff, as if he was challenging Tom to answer with something that he wouldn't approve. Tom's hold on the steering wheel tightened.

"Just… something."

"You know, I kind of expected this to happen."

The car swerved out from its lane, causing them both to lose balance and swayed in their seats, as Tom lost control of his driving. He skilfully drove the car back to the right lane, his blue eyes widened in shock at Cedric's confession. The blond however, regardless of the sudden slip in Tom's driving, looked very nonchalant, as if they weren't just about to be killed in a road accident a few seconds ago.

The groom and the best man, less than two hours before the wedding. What a way to go.

"What?" Tom hissed at the blond, and Cedric shrugged his shoulders.

"You looked so composed when Harry announced that both of you are getting married, which is strange. It was even stranger that you didn't, you know, freak out-"

"I don't do freaking out-"

"And this is Harry we're talking about. Harry who knows nothing about marriage, and Harry who would always want you to know more than what he does. How can someone he is about to marry, not panic about this?"

That had somehow managed to shut Tom up. The young handsome bachelor – no longer a bachelor in less than two hours! – turned his attention back to the road, trying to control his rapidly beating heart. He knew that this was a big deal for Harry, since he lost his parents when he was a baby and had been living with his Godfather ever since. Harry didn't know much about marriage, or family, or even lifetime commitment.

Tom on the other hand, his parents were still alive until he was 22. Although he had never been close to his parents, he knew how it felt like to be with a mother and a father. He knew about his parents' relationship, how they treated each other and how they had looked at each other with so much love in their eyes.

Harry on the other hand, had been clueless about that kind of unquenchable and undying need ever since he was born.

Cedric took his sudden silence as another permission for him to continue talking. The blond leaned against his seat with ease, closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he felt the car slow down a little, no longer exceeding the speed limit.

"Don't you want to teach him that?"

Tom was quiet for a moment, his face expressionless as he stopped his car at the red light. The roads were almost empty since it was only 7 in the morning, and the area was not close to the city – and the airport –.

"I don't know much about that as well, Diggory. I am just as clueless as Harry is when it comes to lifetime commitment."

Cedric turned his head slightly to look at him, one eye opened and the challenging stare was back in his eyes. Tom couldn't help but to glare back at the blond.

"So you would rather Harry learn it from someone else?"

Tom stared at Cedric with unblinking eyes.

If Cedric was a lesser man than the strong willed man that he was, he believed he would have cowered at the sudden way Tom's blue eyes lost all its friendliness, however little it was in the first place. It was as if Cedric was looking at a stranger, who could probably be a serial killer, or a psychopathic cannibal.

Or both. Tom looked like he could kill Cedric right on the spot, chop him into pieces, and then literally wolf him down with his sharp teeth. And it didn't even have to be in that order.

"I mean," Cedric tried again, a little shaky smile made its way on his face as their gazes continued to lock, "Not that I'm suggesting it, but, would it be worth it to lose Harry and everything the two of you have, after all these years, just because of a sudden fear that your future wouldn't be as beautiful as you are expecting?"

The red light had already turned to green but Tom only had his mind on his fiancé.

He thought of all those years that Cedric mentioned. About the times they got into fights, how most of them ended with Tom slamming the door and Harry throwing things at him, about the times one of them got sick, and how the other risked himself to be infected just to snuggle with the sick one and to keep him warm, and about all those nights filled with late night conversations, about how Harry talked about his life and his feelings, teaching Tom to be more open with his own.

And most of all, Tom remembered all the kisses and the words and the way how Harry always looked at him when he thought Tom wasn't paying attention to him. Harry had that look in his eyes, as if Tom was his whole world and he would do anything, everything, just to keep Tom close to him forever.

Tom blinked his eyes, and swiftly made a turn to change the direction he's heading to. Cedric watched with wide eyes as the dark haired man made a U-turn and started to speed back to the hotel. He didn't think that Tom would have accepted his advice so easily. He thought he would have to use some brute force – in a form of a piece of cloth soaked with chloroform he kept in his pocket, or even a bottle of pepper spray that he stashed inside his jacket, you could never be too prepared with Tom Marvolo Riddle, and Cedric would do everything to drag Tom back to Harry and make sure he's at the altar during the ceremony, regardless of whether he was temporarily blinded or out cold –.

"Not to push my luck, but how about the thing that you needed to find?" Cedric asked with a confused face, and Tom gave him a small smile, speeding faster to return to his fiancé.

"It's okay, I've already got it."

"Damn it, Riddle-"

"Move, Weasley, I need to see Harry-"

"It's a bad thing to see-"

"I don't give a fuck about tradition."

Ron was pushed away from the door to Harry's room, as the groom approached it with firm strides. The redhead was about to protest some more, about to shout that if Tom was ever going to cancel the wedding and run away for his life, Ron was going to hurt him so bad, but then Harry was already at the door, looking at them with a fragile look on his face.

"Tom?"

His voice made everyone in the hallway turn to look at him. Hermione and Luna were inside Harry's suite, both looking curious but wary at the same time, Cedric was not far behind Tom, looking as cool as a cucumber, and Ron was still trying to stop Tom from entering the room.

The groom however, was having none of the nonsense Ron was doing to him, and proceeded to come close to Harry. They were standing so close in another second, almost chest to chest as Harry looked up at his tall fiancé, and Tom looking down at him.

Hermione quietly dragged the others away, murmuring about giving them some time alone to settle their problem, despite Ron's whines.

They looked at each other for a moment, and didn't even realize when they were finally alone in the hallway. Tom wanted to push Harry inside and talk about the things that had been bugging him since the last hour, and Harry looked like he could just break down and cry if Tom were about to say something wrong.

So Tom took a deep breath and just went to hell with it. "Let's not get married."

"What?"

Harry's eyes were a shade of bright forest green, as they widened but his gaze never wavered from Tom's face. Tom wanted to touch him, to kiss him, to do anything, as long as he could take the pain etched on Harry's face away.

"I…" Tom clenched his hands to fists on his sides, and took a sharp breath in, "I almost ran away. I almost… left you here alone, Harry. Why would you still want to marry me?"

Harry blinked his eyes, surprise clear in his face before he wiped it away but running a hand through his messy hair. Exasperation came latching on his face in another second, and Tom could hear the frustration clear in his voice.

"But I love you." Harry responded instead, and instead of turning away from Tom or hurting him, the younger man grabbed his lover of four years by the lapels of his jacket, and pulled him down. Their foreheads rested against each other's, causing Tom's hands to naturally grab on Harry's waist.

"I love you, Tom, why shouldn't we be marrying each other? Just because you got cold feet and almost left, doesn't mean that I'm going to love you any less." Harry murmured against his lips, his green eyes bright against the dark thoughts spiralling inside of Tom's head. Tom had to close his eyes, pulling their bodies even closer and pressed a shaky kiss on Harry's soft lips.

"Harry, I… I'm going to screw things up. I'm going to fuck things up. That is what I do. I never care for people, you're the first, but we both know if someone was going to ruin this whole relationship, it would be me. Because that is just what I do, I destroy things and people, and I-"

Another kiss was pressed against Tom's lips, forcefully this time; strong arms wrapped around his neck to hold him in place. Tom groaned into the kiss, pushing back into Harry as much as he could, his own hands tightened their hold on Harry's waist.

When they pulled away a moment later, both flushing red and panting for breath, Harry leaned to press a gentle kiss against Tom's cheek.

"Can we worry about it when it comes later? Can we at least, give this relationship a chance, Tom?" Harry whispered against his skin and Tom responded by kissing him on his temple.

"I just want to be the best for you. I want to be everything that you could ever want me to." Tom ran his thumb along Harry's lower lip and the younger man sighed softly. All the tension finally left him, judging by the way Harry's shoulders sagged against Tom's body, and Tom pressed another kiss on his clothed shoulder.

"You're sure you want to marry me still?" Tom asked again, and he could feel Harry smile against the collar of his shirt.

"Tom," Harry looked up at him with his green eyes that Tom had fell in love with years ago, and his smile that had always managed to steal Tom's breath away, "I'd say yes, always, forever."

To say that the wedding went well afterwards, it was true.

Sirius, as Harry's Godfather, had walked Harry on the aisle towards his future husband, arm in arm. Harry had been grinning so happily, his face radiant with joy when he finally entered the church, and saw Tom standing at the altar with Cedric, Ron, and Draco by his side. The dark haired man grinned back at him, ignoring everyone else who was flabbergasted at the sight of him smiling publicly.

Draco had put on some make up to cover his bruised jaw, having accepted Tom's half-hearted apology few minutes before the ceremony started. Ron had also managed to get into some sort of a temporary truce with Tom, unsurprisingly since it was his best friend's wedding and he would do anything to make sure Harry's special day is perfect.

When Harry and Sirius finally reached the altar, Harry stopped to stand side by side with his fiancé, both of them smiling at each other lovingly.

Cedric had raised an eyebrow at the sight of a dremel tool hidden almost invisibly inside of Sirius' pocket jacket. The older man winked at the blond, and gave one of his own sly smirks. Ron had nudged Cedric a bit by his shoulder, causing the blond to turn and look at the redhead.

"Thanks, buddy. I know we can count on you." Ron whispered at him, inaudible to the grooms who are standing in front of the priest. Cedric shrugged his shoulders, but a smile came to his lips.

"No big deal. I bet Hermione had to deal with worse. Like Harry's attempt to commit suicide an hour before Tom started panicking."

Ron paled a bit by the horrible memories of three hours ago, before he shook his head.

"You know what, let's make sure these two stay together forever. I can't handle another wedding with one of them as the groom."

Ron's offered fist behind his back was met with Cedric's.

"Deal."

"So you are meaning to say that Papa, our Papa, freaked out during his wedding?" Christian's mouth was a perfect O of disbelief, while Daniel who was sitting beside him blinked his eyes at Harry. Harry nodded his head, face serious as he looked at the twelve-year-old fraternal twins in front of him.

"I mean, Daddy, I get it if you freaked out but Papa, that is just ridiculous. We don't trust you." Christian said, crossing his arms across his chest and Harry had to roll his eyes at the sight of his older son mimicking his husband's habit.

Daniel looked torn in between supporting his Daddy or big brother.

"You can ask Uncle Cedric and Uncle Ron if you don't believe me. That was the worst freak out I've ever seen him done." Harry stuck out his tongue, didn't care that he was being childish although he was now 37 years old. Christian was about to respond with his own retort when the door to the living room was opened.

Standing there looking at them with a raised eyebrow, was Tom. He was wearing his casual shirt, having already changed into his everyday attire since it was Saturday and he only worked half a day at his office.

"What are you three doing?" he asked carefully, as if knowing the answer would make him regret asking in the first place. Daniel grinned at his papa, waving a hand that wasn't holding onto the book he was reading before Harry started telling them stories.

"Daddy is telling us some stories. Papa, come here and join us!" Daniel called out, and Harry tilted his head with a smile at his husband. "Tom, come on!"

Tom stood still in front of the door, face suspicious at the sight of Harry trying to look so innocent and adorable – not that he's not but when the twins were involved, it just meant a red flag for Tom –.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," Tom answered instead, and slowly took a step back, "And I need to go and buy some… things anyway."

The sound of the door being closed was heard when Tom finally made his escape and Harry turned back to look at his twins. He grinned slyly at the boys. Daniel puffed his face and Christian narrowed his eyes.

"Daddy, waaait. If you said Papa freaked out the worst during your wedding, it does mean it was the only time… right?"

Harry had to control the laughter that tried to escape his lips, but he shook his head at the question.

"Nope. Not even close."

Daniel and Christian turned to look at each other, surprise clear on their faces, and a second later, Harry regained their attentions on him.

"You're kidding."

"Daddy, don't lie about Papa. Papa doesn't do freak outs!"

Harry smirked at the twins before leaning back against the leather couch, his body eased into the comfort as he tried to find a suitable sitting position before he started on his second story of the day.

"Nope. I'm not lying to anyone, about anybody. And you two should have seen his face when he found out that I was pregnant a few months later after the wedding."

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END?

A/N:

AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

Both of my beta and I decided that I should start posting my stories at Archieve of Our Own (AO3) instead of here. And so perhaps by July I won't be posting my latest stories here any longer. :)

Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy the story. :)

Please review.