Author's Notes: Italics are used for Norwegian/Swedish. Language warning, but it's Dethklok so you should know that (also sex, drugs, Rock'N'Roll etc. M rated for a reason).

I do not own any of the charaters from Metalocolypse and do not profit from them.
Chapters are grouped together in Story Archs. Chapters One and Two go together...You'll work it out.

Chapter 1.0 : An Ode to Pickles

Snakes'N'Barrels had reunited and the line out the front of the concert hall was snaked around the corner. Pickles had left a few hours ago and the remainder of Dethklok were now sitting at a hotel bar across the street. A number of klokateers were keeping rabid fans at bay with Tasers and various face-palm techniques. Toki sat near the end of the bar with Skwisgaar next to him, then Nathan and finally Murderface on the other end, each band member cradled a bottle of their favourite beer and stared solemnly at the label. Toki was completely confused by the other three's reaction to Pickle's gig tonight and finally, after half a beer, was the first to break the silence.

"What ams wrongs with you alls? Yous all been weird as fuck evers since Pickle arsks us to comes tonight."

"What? What do you mean, Toki? We're not acting weird." Nathan said more to his beer than to Toki.

"Yeah" said Murderface, "I mean, juscht because Pickles has been barely around for weeksch and now we don't even get to schee him before the schow, I mean, that'sch no reason to be upschet, right?" He took a long swig from his beer, washing down the sarcasm, and brought it back to the bar with more force than necessary.

Nathan grunted a kind of agreement, still staring at his beer, cupped with both hands. "He wouldn't even come for a drink with us before the show. I mean, Pickles not drinking with us? That's just fucked up! So he can do what? Hang out with Snakes'N'Barrels some more? He's been around them for like three fucking weeks straight!" he brought his beer to his lips and mumbled into the neck of the bottle "What an asshole." before downing the rest of it.

"I know!" chimed in Murderface, "I mean, you don't really think that he'sch gunna leave usch, do you? He said yesch to this reunion tour wischout even asching us what we thought about it!" His indignity rose with every word.

"And it's not even brutal." Nathan had decided that this conversation now required something stronger than beer. The bartender produced a bottle of top shelf vodka and four glasses of Ice then proceeded to nervously pour out half a glass to each of them. He then scurried off to the other end of the bar after a Klokateer turned to check on the band, Taser in hand.

"But he's already says that he ams nots goings nowhere?" Toki retorted,

"That'sch what they all schay!" Murderface spat out.

"Ja, Tokis," Skwizgaar said, clinking the ice around in his glass "That's whats they all says. Hell, that's whats I have even says in de past, a lots of times, and then 'poofs' gones." He took a long sip of his vodka. Toki gave him an angry look he didn't see.

"Wells justs cause yous a band sluts Skwizgaar doesn't means Pickle ams!" He saw the look this time.

"Pfft, wells you's a band vigins! So yous don'ts even know what you talkikgs about."

"Whats?! I ams in dis band!"

"So whats? We pops your cherry, huh?"

Murderface nearly choked on his vodka, "Dude! Don't say schit like that! Sounds so effing gay!"

"You know," Nathan began "I met Pickles about 8 months after Snakes'N'Barrels disbanded. They were all he would ever fucking talk about!" Nathan finished his first glass of Vodka. The bar tender shook some more as he refilled all their glasses.

"How dids you and Pickle meet? Yous two knows each other for the longest time, yeah?" Toki asked.

"Aschually," Murderface interjected "Nathan and I have known each other the longescht."

"By like two months, Murderface!" Nathan corrected.

"Scho!? Schtill the truth! We were playing witsch eachother well before Pickles wasch around!"

"Nows who ams soundings gay, Williams?" Skwisgaar had this habit of using Murderface's first name when he wanted to lord something over him. Toki choked a little on his drink as he let out a short burst of laughter.

"Schut up Skwizgaar! You schmug asschhole! You knew what I meant!" Muderface retorted.

Skwisgaar took a very long sip of vodka with the glass hiding a small but very smug smile indeed. Toki saw this and mimicked his actions, smiling at Skwisgaar's smile.

"Me and Murderface were playing in a metal band with some other dildos in Tampa for a short time." Nathan started, "This was years and years ago. Pickles was at the show and the owner knew him or something, so we got introduced afterwards. He said he was interested in heavier music so he'd been going to see a bunch of local death metal bands. We hit it off and ,well, you know the rest."

"Then why does you thinks he would leaves us for Snake an' Barrel?" Toki asked, the alcohol starting to seep into each of them.

"Because of the way he would talk about them! About the shows and the parties and his bassist, Tony. When I was in Snakes'N'barrels this, when I was in Snakes'N'barrels that. Arrrh! He kept going on and on about it! And shit you think that he does a lot of drugs now, it's nothing compared to how he used to be." Nathan explained.

"Thasch true. I don't tschink I had a schober conversation witsch him for the firsch year I knew him." Murderface added.

"Yeah, me neither." Nathan confirmed, "Yeah, he only started to shut up about them when we began talking about forming a band of our own."

Murderface sipped at his vodka and sighed "He muscht of really missched them."

Silence fell and everyone became very interested in their drink. The thought of Pickles leaving them and the implications that had for their own lives mulled around privately inside each of their heads. None of them had been very lively at dinner either. Skwisgaar hadn't eaten all day and had sat at dinner with nothing but a cup of coffee. After the conversation they had about a week ago concerning the possibility that Pickles might want to stay with Snakes'N'Barrels, Toki had thought that the other three had been OK and pushed the thought aside. However, each of those three had become increasingly distant and seemed to spend more time than usual in their own rooms. It made Toki realise how important Pickles really was to the band and if Pickles did leave, there would be no more Dethklok. He knew this same thought was upsetting his other band mates but still, Toki didn't know how to deal with them when they were like this.

The bartender, who was now almost having an anxiety attack, opened another bottle and poured them 4 fresh glasses of vodka on ice. A Klokateer, Taser in hand, followed the bartender into the cold room.

Of all the people, it was Skwisgaar who finally spoke after another half a glass of vodka. He was drinking on an empty stomach and so the alcohol was hitting him harder than the others."You knows, if it weren'ts for Pickle, I wouldn'ts be heres." He said.

"He saves your life? Wowee!" Toki exclaimed.

"Whats? Nos! Oh, wells, he brings me backs from the overdoesings a few time."

"Yeah, he'sch done that for me too." Murderface added.

"Yeah me too." Nathan nodded in agreement, "but we did it for him as well, so, I mean, that makes us even, right?"

"Yeah, I'd Schay Scho."

"Yeah, I mean, we've done it for him way more times. So if anything he owes us!"

"Yeah, that'sch right!"

"Owes yous what?" Asked Toki.

"I dunno, like, some more overdoeses, I guess." Said Nathan.

"Whats? We haves de doctors for dats." Toki said tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy.

"Ja, buts backs in de before times, we only has eachothers." Skwisgaar said.

He had meant the statement as a fact but it came out deep and profound. He leaned back and ran his long, elegant, pale fingers through his equally long, elegant, pale hair. The other two fell quiet again and Toki was starting to become annoyed at their moodiness.

"Well thens what means you before, Skwisgaar." Toki was determined to keep them all talking, even if his own speech was beginning to slip. "How does Pickle makes you here?"

"Do you mean 'causche he's the one that aschked you to join usch?" suggested Murderface.

"Wells, ja, thats too, but…" Skwisgaar paused and gulped the rest of his vodka, waiting for the burning sensation to settle before continuing, "I has never tolds yous guys dis, but Is almost lefts de band nears de beginings, just afters we was signs. Pickle talks me out of its." Nathan and Murderface sat silently, seemingly unsurprised by this little secret. Toki was not so nonchalant.

"Why woulds you leaves, Skwisgaar!" Real confusion and a little panic in Toki's voice "And why woulds you wants to be leavings just after whats havings been signed!" Toki sat there mouth lightly gaping with a slight plea in his eyes. He seemed afraid that it could actually happen, that both Pickles and Skwisgaar would leave Dethklok, especially after what Skwisgaar had said earlier about being in so many bands. Being pretty drunk now didn't help his thought processes.

Toki sat there expectantly as Skwisgaar let out a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair again. Obviously Nathan and Murderface were not going to help with this explanation. A klokateer materialised behind the bar; the same one that had finally had enough of his masters being served incorrectly and had relieved the bartender of his post. A shot glass and a bottle of chilled vodka appeared in front of each band member.

"Well Tokis," Skwisgaar began as he poured himself a nip, "before you was in de band, tings weren't so great." He threw back his head as he took the shot, wincing slightly.

"Ohs, really?" Toki said with a natural smile and poured himself a shot. Even if it was not a compliment Toki was going to take it as they were so rare coming from Skwisgaar's lips.

"Ja, Toki, there were a problem…"

"Magnusch Hammerschmith." Murderface mused. Nathan shot him a look that said 'say that name again and I will murder you with your own boots'. Toki looked to Murderface for clarification but he was retreating to the safe distance of the bathroom.

"…But Pickle kept us togethers and really helpeded us focus ons dem musics and nots dem bullshits whats was goings ons around us. So I decideds to stay a little bits longer." He propped his head in one hand and tapped rhythmically against the tiny glass absentmindedly. Skwisgaar could never keep his fingers still when he was nervous. He wanted to share his story of Pickles but having to tip toe around Nathan's temper made it barely worthwhile. He was way too drunk for that level of conversational dexterity and was glad when Nathan lurched the conversation forward.

"Pickles is the reason you're in Dethklok too, Toki. He's the one that said we needed two guitar players. Even after, well, all that shit went down." Nathan said taking another shot. "Arrg, fuck it. I had better find Murderface, we have to go soon." With that Nathan stumbled off towards the bathrooms. Skwisgaar and Toki sat alone, they both took a shot of vodka. Skwisgaar was more drunk than Toki on this occasion and that was a rare thing so Toki took advantage of this.

"Skwisgaar?"

"Ja?"

"Why Nathan say Pickle let me in Dethklok whens you did?"

"Whats? Ohs, well Pickle whats ams making me do de auditions. Fucking Dildos. I wanteds to bes a ones Guitars band. I means, whats if wes gots anothers Magnus? Hims fucking leads guitars! Pfft, I ams Leads, no ones ams as goods as me!" He was now resting his forehead up in his palm.

"Who ams Magnus?"

"No ones yous will ever meets."

"So whys you lets me ins?"

"I fuckings tolds you Toki…. Yous…. makes me plays better." He rubbed both his eyes with his palms and swayed backwards on his bar stool.

Even if it that was not a complement either, Toki would take it. Two almost-compliments from Skwisgaar in one night was damn near better than Christmas.

He would push it just a little further, "Anys other reason?".

"Huh? What de Fucks? No! That ams it! You makes me sounds betters, so I wants you."

"You are Schounding really gay tonight, Skwisgaar." Murderface had walked into their conversation on the last sentence.

Skwisgaar folded his arms on the bar and rested his head on them, his long golden hair shielded his face and cascaded over his shoulders.

"With all the goils Moiderface, I don't think I coulds fit them in!" He rebutted.

"Schee! Now you're asking me how many guysch I think you could fit. That's really, really gay!"

"Arrg, den I wills get de make-up tip froms Pickle and fucks de pretty boys, too. Pfft." He mumbled from under his hair.

Murderface stared disgusted at Skwisgaar and turned to Toki. "Did you hear that schit? And I've schared hotel roomsch with thish motherfucker! What the fuck! That'sch schome schick schit, man!"

"Goods ting you amn'st pretty den." Toki said with a small smile of defiance. Skwisgaar smiled privately, head still on his arms.

"Fuck you Toki! God knowsch what he'sch done with other bandsch, then. Like he schaid, he'sch been in, like, every one on the fucking planet! At least me and Nathan and Pickles are all fucking open about our old bands and the schit we got up to. This guy never tellsch usch schit!"

"Whats?! That ams bull's shits! Da first times I hears about Snakes an'Barrel was in de docsumentscrys yous guys whats were watchings!" Toki slurred. "And you and Nathans don'ts nots evers talk abouts other bands whats you was in."

"Yeah, well none of that schit even matters anymore. But I wouldn't try to reunite witsch any of those dildos anyway. Fuckin' Pickles. It'll end badly, mark my fuckin' wordsch! It'sch like getting back together witsch an old girlfriend, too much bullschit!" Murderface pointed a thumb in Skwisgaar's direction. "Or boyfriend in hisch casche, humph." Skwisgaar was still face down on the bar but his shoulders were tense now.

Nathan walked over and grabbed his bottle of vodka off the bar.

"Come on guys. I'm not going to put up with this bullshit any longer! We are going to force Pickles to see us before the concert. You know, to show our support or some shit." His voice trailed off as he took a swig directly from the bottle. Murderface grabbed his bottle and followed Nathan toward the hotel exit. Skwisgaar had not moved.

"Hey Skwisgaar? Skwisgaar?" Toki said. He had seen Skwisgaar pass out drunk before, but not sad pass out drunk. He didn't know quite how to handle this and he was pretty sure there were fans in the hotel taking pictures of head-on-the-bar Skwigelf, but the Klokateers usually took care of those things. Toki got up and bowed closer to Skwisgaar's head.

"Hey, we gots to gos now. Goings to see Pickle befores de shows." He stuck out a finger and pushed the sheet of long soft golden hair over Skwisgaar's shoulder to see a bit of his face.

He could definitely NOT deal with this. He was crying! Skwisgaar was fucking crying! In a fucking crowded bar! He flicked the golden shield back in place and stood there for a moment dumbfounded. He could just leave him there, the Klokateers could handle it, but he found he couldn't do that. Toki grabbed a napkin and slid it into Skwisgaar's most accessible hand. That's when the multibillion dollar fingers wrapped around his own and held his hand there on the bar. Oh for FUCK'S SAKE! Toki really had no idea how to deal with THIS and now he couldn't even get away.

It wasn't hysterical wailing (big plus), just light sobbing. Toki scanned the bar quickly. A Klokateer had confiscated some douchbag's camera phone and was now threatening him with a Taser. Well at least he won't end up on the front page tomorrow, Toki thought. Skwisgaar was more drunk than he had been in a long time. Was he really that upset by Pickles's gig tonight? Toki pulled his hand away leaving the napkin clenched lightly in the blonde man's fist.

"Comes on Skwisgaar! We reallys haves to be goings!" He didn't have anything else to say.

Skwisgaar lifted his head enough to clean his face behind the golden waterfall. He then ran a hand through his hair to set it back into place.

"Fines den. Let's go." He said and without even looking at Toki he grabbed his bottle off the bar and stormed/staggered out of the Hotel. Toki, confused and annoyed, followed after him.