Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any canon characters. Nor do I own Yesterday, by the Beatles (which I was listening to as I wrote this).
Yesterday….
Yesterday it was all so different.
The wind ruffles my hair as I look upon the ruins of the house down below. The sun is high in the sky and I can feel it beating down on my head, causing sweat to trickle down my face. I don't know how the sun can be shining, how it can be making my body so warm, when my soul is so cold. But, then, there are many things I never knew.
How could I have known that what I chose to do would lead to this?
All I wanted to do was make my family proud. I still remember sitting under that silly Sorting Hat. Listening as it decided what to do to me. I made my choice that night. I picked what my family wanted, and made the worst mistake of my life.
I could have been with her. I could have protected her. Instead I failed her. I betrayed her. I hurt her. And now she's gone.
Why'd she have to go?
I did it all wrong…made all the wrong choices…and she had to pay the price.
I've lost half of myself.
And I don't think I'll ever get it back.
I take one last look down at that ruined little house; imprinting every detail into my mind. I never want to forget where my follies lead me. No longer can I stay out here, with the sun beating down upon me.
I turn and leave, making my way back towards my dungeon.
I belong in the shadows, where I can hide away.
XXX
I keep an eye on the first years walking in, but I'm unable to see the boy. Albus said I'd recognize him immediately. He said the boy had her eyes.
I hope that's true.
I always loved her eyes. They were such expressive things. I never could stop loving them, even when they were filled with disgust and hurt.
It's my own fault, for saying something so wrong. Little did I know that life wasn't a game and that we were in the real world, where people really do die.
Minerva is calling out the names of students and I only bring myself to focus on that silly hat when she calls out Potter.
Pain shoots through me as a small boy with messy black hair and glasses hurries up to the hat. No…it can't be. Albus said you can see her in the boy, but all I can see is that horrible man that made my life miserable. The man that took my love away from me.
Something dies inside of me as I watch the boy go to sit with his new housemates.
She really is gone.
Oh, how I long for yesterday.
XXX
Pain…
So much pain…
I can hear myself screaming through the roaring in my ears.
The floor hits my knees, or maybe it's my knees that hit the floor. I can't tell anymore. All I know is that there's so much pain. I can feel my life pouring out of me.
And then I see her. Her eyes are staring down at me – such a bright, brilliant green that I can feel them piercing the very center of my soul.
I don't want to hide away anymore.
I could never hide from her anyways.
And I know that the boy is truly her son. I can't hide it from him, not anymore. He's truly her son, I know that now. I was so wrong for so long.
"Take…it…Take…it"
I pull up every memory that she…no he needs to survive. I can't let her son die. Not after she gave her life for him. She'll hate me even more if I don't help. I know Albus is wrong. I don't know how. But he has to be. Her boy can't die, he just can't.
I'm so close to the end. I want to see her beautiful eyes just one more time, but he's not looking at me. Why isn't he looking at me? I pull on the last bit of strength left in my dying flesh.
"Look…at…me…"
The boy turns his head and I stare into those beautiful eyes of hers.
Tomorrow….
Tomorrow it will be different.
Author's Note: So my writing muse has been suffering lately. I have so many great ideas for stories in my head and many scenes written out, but when I try to put them on paper they end up wrong. I feel that this is affecting 'Times of Trouble'. Which I feel started as a fairly good story, but is no where near 'The Real Memory', which disappoints me. Because of this I decided to go back to how I did some of my early writing and just turn on some music and just pick a character and write something. Snape has always fascinated me and I kind of see this story as a continuation of 'Too Young to Choose'. And, if you are a fan/reader of 'Times of Trouble', don't worry, I still plan to finish it. Mainly because it feels wrong to not do so, and I do think the rest is rather cool, but it's just not going the way its supposed to.
Well, hope you enjoyed tragic Snape.